Saying goodbye to my best friend

carp

carp

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
May 16, 2012
121
7
47
West of the Blue Ridge, Va.
#1
Hey guys,

I need a hand. These last few days have been my worst days, and I am having trouble moving on. Buddy was my best friend for the last 13 years. He was a rescue mutt that I saved from a kill shelter and i know that he did more for me over the years than I could have ever expected. He slept first in my bed, then as he got older on the floor right next to me. He was at the door with a toy when I got home from work and by my feet when I sat down. Everyone laughed at how his eyes never left me and he would follow my from room to room. As kids came, he was there for me more than I was there for him. He was the best friend a man could ask for.
This past Friday morning, I came down stairs and found him spread out on the kitchen floor. He has had weak legs and stiffness for the past couple of years, but this was different. His face told me something was wrong. The vet pointed out a mass on his spleen. It was bleeding and likely cancerous. Our choices were to drive him and hour to a surgical site, put him through surgery and possibly chemo, or bring him home for his last day. Surgery was only a band aid, if it was cancer they thought he might get another 3 months or so. My wife arrived at the vet and we layed on the floor for a few hours just holding him.
I carried him into our house and my wife went to pick up the kids from school so they could say their goodbyes. They packed his favorite toys in a bag and a treat bag to go. I carried him outside so he could smell the air and a short time later the vet arrived at our home. We layed in his favorite spot until it was tim to say goodbye and he drifted off to sleep forever.
I cant forgive myself. I feel like I fialed him and gave up to fast. He was my best friend and now I cant seem to even begine to move on. I miss him and I dont think I will ever recover.
I have been surrounded by supportive family and friends and have been reading over grief sites and pet loss blogs. They all recommend putting your feelings into writing so here I am. Writing to a bunch of strangers about the loss of the best friend I have ever had. I hope it helps.
image.jpgimage.jpgimage.jpg
George
 
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#2
Ask your self this question "If I were in his position, what would I have wanted him to do." You did the right thing. Give it a bit of time ant then rescue another. I bet you find another 'best friend'.

Good lookin dawg, btw, but whos the ugly guy in the baseball cap on his right. lol

Maggot out
 
#3
So sorry you are going through this. My Augnmike name is from my yellow lab Augie, I lost him 10 years ago and still think of him often, plus there are many pictures and his ashes still in the house. We hunted together all over the Western US and Mexico. Sleeping together in the back of my hunting rig, cheap shitty motels and sometimes on the ground. We were best friends. I went two years after he passed to get another "dog" but I swore there would never be anyone to take his place. Then I was attending a police academy graduation and ran into a guy I had known from years prior. He mentioned that he hunted which I had never known then he said he was breeding his champion lab and asked if I was looking for a hunting dog. I politely declined but he was persistent so when I found out both of the dogs were black I said ok if you end up with yellow male I will buy it. He laughed and said that the bitch was yellow factored so you never know. Months later 9 beautiful little lab pups were on the ground. 5 black, 3 chocolate and you guessed it one yellow male. That little tiny pup is now 95 lbs and my very best friend. His name is Raymond and he is amazing in every way. He is eight years old and I dread the day he will no longer be with me but I love him every moment of every day, he returns that love to me and I will never regret him coming into my life. It's been said that the only cure for what you are going through is puppy breath.

Again, my condolences for your loss you will go through the grieving process and come out the other side just grateful for having spent so much quality time with your buddy.

Mike
 
#4
It's hard man. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar or a psycho. The two hardest things I've ever had to do in life was put down my Rottie and walk my first good cow onto a trailer and send her up the road. Like has been said, when they are in that kind of shape you gotta do what's best for them, not you.
 
#7
George

As the years have gone on I have put three of my best friends down and it never gets easier. But what made it bearable is the memories of all the fun we had and knowing that they are no longer suffering.

Talk to friends and family and remember the good times. In time you will heal and find another friend, not a replacement, a new friend to enjoy time with. Hang in there
 
#8
Your dog treated you that way because he couldn't speak. If he could have spoke, he would have constantly told you how much he loved you and appreciated all that you did for him. You gave him a wonderful life and provided all he could ever want. Take care my friend and know you did the right thing. Your best friend is no longer in pain.
 
#9
I've had to put several down, one last week. Don't feel guilty, you did the right thing. It's a hard thing to do for sure but get you another. You gave that dog a good life and a best friend for him as well. Get another and enjoy.
 
#11
We put down a Boxer that we had 9 years just after Christmas 2012. We had a Malamute years ago that became paralyzed from the waist down after a weird jump onto a bed and even though we rushed him to the University animal hospital he passed away(he was only 4 years old and a HELL of a dog). We also had a mut we got from the shelter(our first dog) that was with us for 14 years that we had to put down.

It never gets easier and you will NEVER forget that dog no matter how many other dogs you have in your life time.

I like to think I will never NOT have a dog and even though there have been breaks in between dogs, we always get another one.

We just got a Vizsla a few months ago and, while she will never replace any of our other dogs, she is a great and loyal dog as well.
 
#12
Sir, you did NOT fail him! You did NOT give up "too fast". I have had the exact same feelings as this when I had to let our German Shepherd go just over a year ago. She was 14 years old and her body simply began to break down. I personally think that the vet making a house call is a very comforting thing, so to speak. This was not an option for us. I held her in the back of my truck as she slipped away, then held her all the way home. As long as we have made every effort to care for our pets, there is no failure. In time you will move on. You will recover. I have one photo of her above my loading bench. Find one you like and put it in a spot where the family can always see and remember the fun you shared. Some people say that pets are just animals, which on the surface is true, but they do indeed become part of our family. You mention that he was a rescue dog. Who rescued whom? Let it out, give it time. Someday, you'll find another to share some pizza bones with, (crusts) but only you'll know when the time is right. Be well, all the best to you.

Doug
 
#14
I am sorry for your loss. I went thru this myself almost exactly except we went the surgery route. Our favorite loving and patient friend died a slow painful and miserable death 4 months after the surgery. She was not mobile, not playful or loving during this 4 months. Due to her weaker health going into the surgery she never recovered from the surgery. Also her cancer did not stop as a result of the surgery. It just metastasized in other places in her body. You may feel a sense of guilt feeling like you failed him, let me tell you how we felt after trying your other alternative. We felt devastated that we put our dog thru 4 months of torture because we were too selfish to let her die peacefully. There is no right or wrong in these situations but I am letting you know that the prognosis of the dog returning to any quality of life that would give them some peace in their final days is very low percentage in these circumstances. Keep your pictures and remember him always. Then as soon as you feel ready, go find another rescue dog and share all of the love you can with them. And remember Buddy was always interested in your happiness that was why he doted on you. Now share that feeling with another dog knowing that your trusted and loving friend would not want you to feel sad because of him.

Hope this helps in your time of grief. Taking on rescue dogs is the most rewarding of adoptions because they need us so much more, but also can be heart wrenching when your time together comes to an end. Just think of it this way, if the situation was reversed and you had passed before Buddy would you want him to be sad or despondent because of of your passing? Obviously not. I wish you and your family the best.
 
#15
I've lost my dad, my uncle and a good dog this year, all too early and unexpectedly. It's not easy I know but hang in there and I believe, hell I know you did the right thing. I'm glad everyone got to say their goodbyes and he went peacefully. We don't always get to send them off that way so be thankful for that, the good times and the good people you have around you. Take care, it will be alright.
 
#16
Yeah, if you would have put him through surgery and chemo he wouldn't have enjoyed life in that state. You didn't fail him at all, you rescued him from a shelter and that's something he was forever thankful for. Letting him go peacefully in his own home, around his family and the smell of comfort is the only way it should have been done and you did it. My family and I wait about a year until we get another dog just out of respect but you by no means are a bad person or disrespectful for doing otherwise. Do what you have to do to heal your heart because you are the only one who has the right to tell you how it should be done. Much love and respect to you and everybody who loved your little boy, we all know that pets are on borrowed time so that is why we pour our hearts into them.
 
#17
Thanks for all of the support guys, it does seem to help a bit, hearing the stories of your Buds and reassurance that it was the right call. But right now I am crushed. I know that dog would have given his life for me without question. I just feel like I should have questioned taking it more.
 
#18
Been there and done that many times over the years
Sounds to me from your post that U were exactly the type of master your dog thought U were.
Sincerest condolences on your loss...
 
#19
Friend.

I found him as a stray digging in my trash can. Flipped him up by the hind legs so he went in the can head first, slapped the lid on it, and banged on the side. Then I let him out, gave him a bowl of food, and cleaned him up. He was with me for years. Eventually when my travel wouldnt let me keep him, he retired to my father's farm in rural Virginia. Ruled the roost there for many good years. Finally one day he just couldnt get up so Pop took him to the vet. He was eaten up with cancer, so we put him down. Funny, that was 40 years ago but your post brought back many of our adventures together. He was my

Friend
 
#20
It was less than a year ago my brother and I had to put our dog to sleep. He was hit by a car and broke his back. It was very painful to watch the life leave his eyes. It takes time for the pain go away.
 
#21
So sorry for your loss...

Reading this has helped me in the past.

The Rainbow Bridge
inspired by a Norse legend....


By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.

For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.

No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.

For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.

The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.
 
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#22
You didn't fail him brother, you did what you had to do. His time in this world was up and you'll see him again one day. Google Death is Nothing at all, it may help a little. My Lab is 11 now and I know his time is coming as well. There's no way to prepare for your best friend in this world passing. I believe God gave us Dogs to show us true love and faithfulness. I'm sorry for your loss.
 
#23
I can guarantee you did the right thing. I share your story almost to the letter...my dog Sadie passed 3 months ago, same thing, 13 years, best dog I have ever owned. Nothing we could do and as she got weak her body would absorb the blood from the internal bleeding. Vet was surprised she made it through the night...she was fighting to be with us. We were able to spend a few good days with her and spoil her. The vet said she would pass and it would be painless and this progressed the next few days. Well on "the day" she was in horrible pain we rushed her to the vet and it was to late, she did not have enough blood circulating to give her an injection. It was the worst day of my life...I felt I failed her and that I was selfish for waiting. I wish I did what you did, I could not think of ever replacing her. Well fast forward 3 months and my wife is still depressed not having her in the house. We picked up a new resue dog last week...it's helping, but I still miss Sadie. Best of luck, thank you for sharing your story...

Tyler
 
#24
Tyler,
I'm so sorry to hear about Sadie. Thanks for sharing. Thats part of what makes this so hard. Buddy went from an old dog on Thursday, to a Sick dog on Friday. We didn't see him decline over time. When I woke up to find him on the floor, I never imagined that he would be gone 9 hours later. I held him the whole time but it was too soon. I feel like we didn't get the time to really say goodbye. I know that I wouldn't have wanted him so suffer but I would give anything to have just one more day.
 
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