Thank you so much for the detailed replies. I will try to respond in kind. Sorry for the long post but I am replying to various posters all in one.
First off I do not drink alcohol at all. Quit a year ago, lost only 10lbs because I wasn't drinking that much but even then I feel a lot better. I stopped because I am starting to see a flood of articles detailing that there is no safe dose and have started to lump alcohol with other hard, dangerous drugs like tobacco, heroin, cocaine, marijuana, hallucinogens, you name it. They are all bad for your body and mind, and there is no upside. After quitting moderate drinking for over a year the only thing that upsets me is that I didn't do it sooner. The added energy and focus is nice too especially as the kids are getting older and need more stuff with sports, honors classes, AP, test prep and all that jazz. So no alcohol here.
I always shoot the same types of ammo for the most part. Occasionally I will shoot off others but it's mostly pistol or rimfire ammo that I use different brands. My style is to find a halfway decent factory load that both works well in my gun but is not expensive and (at least in the Trump pre COVID days) stock up on it in significant bulk so I don't have to worry about it for a while. With the rifles this is either Lake City for 7.62/308, CBC/Magtech for 556, Sellier and Bellot for 6.5 Creedmoor and Wolf for the Grendel. The low prices of 2017-early 2020 years have helped in that regard. I get 1-2MOA out of the guns I use in some cases a bit better which is amazing as none of this is especially fancy ammo. I think this says a lot that I am at least a decent shooter with decent fundamentals.
I am not really into buying fancy riflescopes, I don't think the fact that my scopes cost $300 instead of $3000 that will make them any less accurate as there are other likely factors. How could 5-6 different scopes be acting like that? I agree it's probably another factor including myself. I know people who own high end optics and have looked through them, even real fancy stuff like Vortex Razor, Night Force or even Schmidt and Bender; they're not that good! The difference between a $50-100 and a $250-400 scope is huge, like clarity, eye relief, tactile feel. But when you look through the real pricey stuff many times the lens is so big you get a "fast" scope (like 50-56mm) so the field of view suffers. The cheaper scopes are almost better and more fun for me because I can find the target quicker at the same magnification thanks to the wider field of view.
The couple times I looked through these optics I find the lens clarity of a $1,500-$3,000 scope not to be 5-10x the scopes I use, maybe a little better enough to notice but that's about it. I think a rifle scope is crippled in terms of offering good clarity because you're only using one eye and at least at the 100 or 200y I shoot the magnifications I need are so low (8x or less) you can't tell a difference. I did spent significant money on a nice spotting scope (Cabela's Krotos) as well as a couple pairs of high end binoculars. The spotting scope was worth it because the better optics allow you to make the most of all the magnification. It also doubles as a telescope to see planets and astronomy stuff with the kids, very cool. The binoculars are worth it because in the field either as a tourist, shooter, hunter or even SHTF you're going to be looking through them much more time than a scope, and you are using both eyes instead of the tunnel vision of one. At least that's how I see it. I think if I needed to magnify a target at 1,500 yards I would be singing a different tune as I know that a $1,200 pair of binoculars makes a huge difference when you look at something 5, 10, 20 miles away vs even a $300 pair. Seen the difference in places like Italy, Switzerland, Spain, France, the USA Southwest, coastal areas. To me the high end binocs are worth it, not to mention better glare resistance. Right now due to the coronacraziness even though I make decent money my plan is to live like I am broke until further notice as if I were in my college days because the economic consequences are highly unpredictable. So unless I need it, I am not buying anything for the forseeable future.
On communicating with everyone here it seems the problem could be the bench resting and parallax combined with temp and clothing. I shoot as well as anyone could offhand. Most of my life I have shot offhand as a kid or at indoor ranges or on private land. It's only been the last 5 years I have been a member of a rod and gun club that I have been shooting from a bench. My technique there is probably not ideal either, no bag, the rests are those basic ones you find at, well, rod and gun clubs and different every time.
It's hard to get other people to shoot your guns these days. People are afraid, even the right wing gun owners at my rod and gun club because most of them are pretty old and vulnerable. My kids are decent shots but nowhere near what you need to be to dial this stuff in. I am one of the least intimidated by COVID because I am a physician and know the facts but it's hard to get people out there. This will be on my to do list though.
I probably plan to get some precision rifle lessons just to look into this. There are instructors out there that charge reasonable fees but as far as SHTF/home defense guns take the optics off and just use them with open sights or replace them with red dots as that seems to work best for me. I really like using the scopes at the range when they work. It's like playing a video game but given how under pressure I cannot count on a a magnified optic I will need to make other plans and like a gun with a custom trigger or handloaded ammo keep them as entertainment range only devices and NOT hunting or defensive tools until I can sort this out.