Share Your Poop!!!

[n2ishun]

Question ?
Has any of you smelled radioactive shit ?
You know, right after they have given you a radiation treatment for cancer ?

Bow before your master, underlings of shit.
Not only does the paint on the wall start peeling, but the screws in the drywall back out of their own accord.....because they damn well don't want to be in that room.

 

[Carlos Danger]

I dunno. Could there ever be any

forgiveness here?

 

[akmike47]

Do you ever feel like you’re wiping peanut butter out of shag carpet?

 

[clcustom1911]

I dunno. Could there ever be anyView attachment 7918894 forgiveness here?

Put her in a shower and scrub her down for quality assurance purposes.

It's my duty to clean that booty.

 

[akmike47]

Put her in a shower and scrub her down for quality assurance purposes.

It's my duty to clean that booty.

She can’t shit on you if she empties her bowels in the hot tub

 

[clcustom1911]

She can’t shit on you if she empties her bowels in the hot tub

This guy gets it

 

[The D]

Do you ever feel like you’re wiping peanut butter out of shag carpet?

All the time, why?

 

[akmike47]

All the time, why?

Just a hairy ass joke

 

[The D]

Just a hairy ass joke

Me too

 

[powdahound76]

Just a hairy ass joke

This is relevant, and not funny without the entire backstory.

So growing up, my maternal grandma and I were close.
I was her golden boy grandson and could do no wrong.
She was anything but a traditional grandma, with a mouth that could make a Marine blush and a mind dirtier than a hooker Asia after a whole fleet of US Navy ships docked.
She did have the quintessential glass container of hard candies, usually cinnamon and they were my favorite.

Anyways, fast forward to college days, senior year, and my weekly phone call to grandma to see how she was and what was going on.
May have had a few beers one day before our call.

Asked my grandma “So you think if I went and got my butt crack waxed like chick get their coochie waxed, it would clean up easier and no chance of a wayward dingleberry?”

She laughed and laughed and then coughed so much she had to hang up and call back when she caught her breath.
Apparently a bad question for grandma with COPD and home oxygen.
Fun part, I was 22 and she lived till I was 25. Saw her often those last few years as I knew they were limited.
Every visit she would bring up that question.

June 2005, grandma had a lot of medical problems and had been diagnosed with lung cancer. Said “No treatment, Im 79 yrs old and not going through that to die in misery!” Lived at home till the last 2 weeks and went in the nursing home as she had planned. Her last 4-5 days, she was In and out of lucidity in the local hospital on hospice.
A rough morning of pain going on and opens her eyes suddenly shortly after pain meds and said nearly shouting to me (they could hear her way down the hall) “What the fuck are you doing here? You think Im gonna die or something?”
Everyone left, we talked a lot, and then she waited till all the family came back to tell the story of me wondering about getting my ass crack waxed would make wiping easier and reduce the risk of a wayward dingleberry.
She laughed and laughed and coughed a lot. Asked for more morphine and fell asleep.
She passed peacefully in her sleep early the next morning.

My daughter is named after her.

@The D you go try this and let us know!

 

[The D]

Such a beautiful story

 

[akmike47]

View attachment 7949447
Such a beautiful story

I came

 

[The D]

Ahhh, what a way to start the day. Coffee and spicy breakfast burritos. Yeah buddy!

But, with it comes the inevitable after-coffee poop. This morning wasn’t bad, it just happened quickly. Like, before I was finished with my burritos(they’re not that big so I get two) I had the rumblings. I was never in any disaster pants danger, just a gentle reminder. Anyway, let’s score this monster

Odor - 6/10) definitely not pleasant but I didn’t kill anyone

Effort - 3/10) no straining or bracing on the shower door needed

Amount - 4/10) very average

Final score - 4/10) no drama, just results. I’d be happy if this was the way all of them happen

 

[The D]

I do not like it, Sam I am

I just un-fucking-loaded on our toilet and it took 4 flushes to get the pile down the pipes. Thankfully I just had to flush 4 times. It didn’t overflow and I didn’t need to get the plunger, so that’s something.

Amount- 11/10) that’s the whole reason of this post

Odor- 4/10) bad, but not awful

Effort- 5/10) a little straining but nothing serious

Thankfully this ended without any serious mess. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a little concerned after the second flush

 

[Jscb1b]

Not this shit again.

 

[The D]

Not this shit again.

 

[n2ishun]

Share Your Poop!!!​

Give me a address and I'll ship you all you could ever ask for.
Soon you will look like this guy.....

 

[powdahound76]

On a trip.
Diet is off.
Staying at a friend’s place.

Rip a fart in the bedroom and my girlfriend walked in a couple minutes later.
She questioned if I needed a trip to the ER to see what had died in my colon.

Proceeded into the bathroom shortly after this for an urgent sit down.

Very loud.
Liquid.
Extreme stink.

Wiping was like a kid trying to get anti-seize off.

Pain to bunghole was 6/10 on wiping.

Over all, 9.2/10.

Pretty unreal crap to take after 3 hrs sleep and getting up to drive 6 hrs to visit other friends for the holiday.

Do have TP and will pull over in a heartbeat if I feel another wave.
Not gonna crap my drawers a short 980 miles from home!!!

 

[powdahound76]

I have been slack on posting.

Will do better.

New cup for Christmas from my parents.

 

[Maggot]

Odd, I was just thinking of reviving this thread.

There must be something in the local water. The last couple days Ive been shitting chunks the size of tennis balls, left weak in the knees afterwards. I was thinking it must be my diet but noticed my wolfdog Nikita straining and quivering the same way while dropping a loaf last night.

 

[The D]

Pro tip, fellas; be a gentleman and let your wife grundle one out before you. That way she warms the toilet seat up for you.

We went on an adventure downtown today to an rv show so I didn’t really have an opportunity to poop, even though I’ve sort of had a gentle pressure reminding me all day. We finally got home and before I could claim the bathroom my wife asks if I will hold the baby so she can go to the bathroom. She ends up going #2 and warming the seat up for me but I had a few rumbles that started to concern me.

Effort 3/10) no pushing, no drama
Volume 4/10) decent amount but nothing crazy. I kind of think this will only be round 1 over the next few days…
Odor 6/10) nothing seriously heinous but it smells a little worse than normal

Overall 5/10) amazingly average

 

[powdahound76]

2345 last night.

An abdominal cramp wakes me. A little sleepy and confused, I realize it is in the lower left side and my whole gut is sounding off with gurgles I am sure are waking the neighbors.
Slip outta bed and hit the crapper, sure of what needs to happen.
90 seconds and nothing but more cramps.
Then a little fart.
I say little. Apparently enough to wake up K across the upstairs. .
Another 2 min of cramping and waiting.

Finally!!! Another fart and I can tell something I actually came here for is about to happen.
Drop a small and relatively disappointing deuce.
Realize that there is much more going on than that turd, so I stay put on my throne and see.

Another minute or 2 and its like they opened the gates on the dang Hoover Dam.
Faucet butt to the max.
Several minutes and 3 flushes later I am really wishing for a scale.
Had to be 4 lbs lost easy.

Clean up was easier than anticipated.
Messy, butt quick and only 3 rounds, plus a baby wipe for freshness.
Cruise back to bed.

Lay for 10 minutes.

Make another trip cause I aint trusting a fart (wisdom from my friend @Foul Mike)
Just air, even safety wipe was clean, and off to bed.
First fart of the morning this AM was good to go too.
Still not gonna trust the next few though.

Overall, 7.2/10

Seriously an impressive evac

 

[cas6969]

I’ve never read at this thread before. But since I am currently sitting here in an “operational stand still“, even though supposed to be at work in one minute, I figured what the heck.

 

[The D]

Ugh, stomach bugs are gaytarded. I’ve had diarrhea at least 8 times in the past 24hrs and I’m ready for it to be over

 

[Fig]

 

[The D]

 

[Fig]

This thread is shit.

 

[The D]

 

[Numedal]

So, a few hours ago I made me a batch of Thai green curry from scratch. Eating it, was thinking to myself "this isn't very hot/strong, where did all the fire go?"

Now, sitting on the porcelain throne, I have most assuredly found the missing fire...

 

[Maggot]

So, a few hours ago I made me a batch of Thai green curry from scratch. Eating it, was thinking to myself "this isn't very hot/strong, where did all the fire go?"

Now, sitting on the porcelain throne, I have most assuredly found the missing fire...

That happened to me the other day with a huge plate of Camarones Diablo's

 

[Maggot]

I can take no credit for this other than feeding her (Nikita my wolfdog) and noticing the artistry involved it its lovely two tone design and symmetry. It was so cute I nicknamed it 'Powda' after the OP of this thread.

 

[Maggot]

2345 last night.

An abdominal cramp wakes me. A little sleepy and confused, I realize it is in the lower left side and my whole gut is sounding off with gurgles I am sure are waking the neighbors.
Slip outta bed and hit the crapper, sure of what needs to happen.
90 seconds and nothing but more cramps.
Then a little fart.
I say little. Apparently enough to wake up K across the upstairs. .
Another 2 min of cramping and waiting.

Finally!!! Another fart and I can tell something I actually came here for is about to happen.
Drop a small and relatively disappointing deuce.
Realize that there is much more going on than that turd, so I stay put on my throne and see.

Another minute or 2 and its like they opened the gates on the dang Hoover Dam.
Faucet butt to the max.
Several minutes and 3 flushes later I am really wishing for a scale.
Had to be 4 lbs lost easy.

Clean up was easier than anticipated.
Messy, butt quick and only 3 rounds, plus a baby wipe for freshness.
Cruise back to bed.

Lay for 10 minutes.

Make another trip cause I aint trusting a fart (wisdom from my friend @Foul Mike)
Just air, even safety wipe was clean, and off to bed.
First fart of the morning this AM was good to go too.
Still not gonna trust the next few though.

Overall, 7.2/10

Seriously an impressive evac

I had one of those walking through WalMart the other day. Heard that ominous gurgle, turned and headed for the shitter. "Nope, not gonna make it head for the car." I get half way out Wallyworld door and the damn breaks, steaming hot shit , about the consistency of oatmeal, filling the underwear, forcing its way past, flowing without reserve down both pant legs (Thank God it wasnt summer and short pants. Jerked an old rag out of the back seat to protect the seat, hopped in and headed home. Halfway home, the sphincter pushes out another massive wave, then one final gush as I'm pulling in the drive. Run straight to the back yard, peel out of clothes ahd use the high pressure hose.

I would have saved a photo but its hard to photograph the inside of shit filled pants legs.

Overall, a 9.875 for the disgust factor.

Damn those anti biotics.

 

[Fx51LP308]

So, a question for all those that eat raw Chili Peppers (Jalapeno, Scotch Bonnet, Habaneros, Carolina Reaper - If you dare), or do things like that Paqui One chip challenge.

I can imagine/envision how it feels going in. Does it have the same heat/intensity coming out? I ask, because I just wanted to confirm my own decision *never* to touch such things.... I can deal with certain chilies if used/cooked in a dish. But not raw, and certainly never any such things as spiced nuts, gummies, tortilla chips, spiced buffalo wings, etc. etc.

 

[The D]

I don’t eat them raw or have very spicy foods often but I do occasionally get a craving for some hot shit. And yes, it ends up being hot shit. Not as bad as going in but it is a spicy exit

 

[Mike Casselton]

 

[oneshot86]

Too funny, Mikie

 

[UKDslayer]

Well since this thread is back; I'll add on but slightly OT. So with this warmer weather here recently, despite precautions my bitch (yes, dog) acquired some fleas. Flea preventative doesn't always work, and I just saw her Soresto collar has warnings now too. Thought it be a good time to do a broad spectrum dewormer (tapeworms go hand in hand in fleas), and yes - there they were. Unfortunately, it appears she has flukes too. This is new for her, but I have been feeding her beef liver (cooked but still slightly pink on the inside) as a treat. Didn't realize liver flukes hit the US beef market (or maybe our beef isn't really US raised - who knows). So two doses praziquantel - still with flukes. I'm beginning to think anti-parasitics are safer than most big pharma products, but I still hate giving her meds and she hates taking them. And I know about pumpkin - she won't touch it. So does anyone else have some tricks for flea/parasites in their fur-babies? Anybody have luck with DE?
(PS Maggot - you might want to treat Nikita).

 

[UKDslayer]

Ugh, stomach bugs are gaytarded. I’ve had diarrhea at least 8 times in the past 24hrs and I’m ready for it to be over

Norovirus season.

 

[The D]

Noravirus season.

My wife had some “troubles” too so we think it was something we ate. No matter what it was, it was a terrible 24 hours

 

[UKDslayer]

My wife had some “troubles” too so we think it was something we ate. No matter what it was, it was a terrible 24 hours

Norovirus usually comes from something you ate. That someone else who didn't wash their hands prepared. Published two days ago:

https://www.scientificamerican.com › article › how-to-avoid-the-dreaded-norovirus
"Norovirus can survive for up to two weeks on surfaces. In contrast, SARS-CoV-2 only does so for a few hours or days. And norovirus can remain infectious in water for two months or more.
Notably, norovirus can survive for up to two weeks on surfaces. In contrast, SARS-CoV-2 only does so for a few hours or days. And norovirus can remain infectious in water for two months or more."

 

[Maggot]

Well since this thread is back; I'll add on but slightly OT. So with this warmer weather here recently, despite precautions my bitch (yes, dog) acquired some fleas. Flea preventative doesn't always work, and I just saw her Soresto collar has warnings now too. Thought it be a good time to do a broad spectrum dewormer (tapeworms go hand in hand in fleas), and yes - there they were. Unfortunately, it appears she has flukes too. This is new for her, but I have been feeding her beef liver (cooked but still slightly pink on the inside) as a treat. Didn't realize liver flukes hit the US beef market (or maybe our beef isn't really US raised - who knows). So two doses praziquantel - still with flukes. I'm beginning to think anti-parasitics are safer than most big pharma products, but I still hate giving her meds and she hates taking them. And I know about pumpkin - she won't touch it. So does anyone else have some tricks for flea/parasites in their fur-babies? Anybody have luck with DE?
(PS Maggot - you might want to treat Nikita).

I was complaining about the high price of Heart Guard ($15 per month per dog) to my vet and she recommended Ivermectin. I buy it at the feed store for about $40 dollars per bottle and a bottle will last years for one dog, though I replace it every 18 months, or when the label says expired. She told me to give Nikita .05-.10 ml per month based on her weight (65-70 pounds). You give it orally so I just squirt it on her tounge or into a piece of meat. Seems to treat all sorts of parasites besides heartworms. You can also order it on line.

1. www.tractorsupply.com › tsc › productDurvet Ivermectin Injection 1% Sterile ... - Tractor Supply Co.​

   
   Buy Durvet Ivermectin Injection 1% Sterile Solution Livestock Dewormer, 250 mL at Tractor Supply Co. Great Customer Service.

 

[atepointer]

Have not 'dropped' in for a while, but given the brown trout I just let loose in the Tampa sewer system I thought it irresponsible of me not to share a often overlooked aspect of Champion level Dook.

Had been driving home from Bradenton and felt a nudge at my starfish. Not a outright attacck, but no question I knew a Cosby was on deck. So as I'm rolling up my street about to pull in the garage I get a level 9 spasm, unsanctioned fart and possible false start. I say possible b/c I have visually verified no foul. Not easy to tell with these undies as fart gas bubbles up and can deceive.

**I want to point out that mental tenacity is critical in these situations. Subconsciously knowing I was within 500 yards of the dookery led me to let me guard down a bit early. Well. I got lucky b/c under normal circumstances that fart would have been held until I was on target.

The dump was nothing less than a 7 given the venison I had for dinner mixed in with huge salad for lunch. Odor letdown maybe a 3, mass 5. The real thing to note here is staying mentally alert for everything. Don't let your guard down at the 3 yard line....I almost did and got lucky.

 

[The D]

Have not 'dropped' in for a while, but given the brown trout I just let loose in the Tampa sewer system I thought it irresponsible of me not to share a often overlooked aspect of Champion level Dook.

Had been driving home from Bradenton and felt a nudge at my starfish. Not a outright attacck, but no question I knew a Cosby was on deck. So as I'm rolling up my street about to pull in the garage I get a level 9 spasm, unsanctioned fart and possible false start. I say possible b/c I have visually verified no foul. Not easy to tell with these undies as fart gas bubbles up and can deceive.

**I want to point out that mental tenacity is critical in these situations. Subconsciously knowing I was within 500 yards of the dookery led me to let me guard down a bit early. Well. I got lucky b/c under normal circumstances that fart would have been held until I was on target.

The dump was nothing less than a 7 given the venison I had for dinner mixed in with huge salad for lunch. Odor letdown maybe a 3, mass 5. The real thing to note here is staying mentally alert for everything. Don't let your guard down at the 3 yard line....I almost did and got lucky.

You can’t ever get complacent just because you can see the finish line.

 

[UKDslayer]

I was complaining about the high price of Heart Guard ($15 per month per dog) to my vet and she recommended Ivermectin. I buy it at the feed store for about $40 dollars per bottle and a bottle will last years for one dog, though I replace it every 18 months, or when the label says expired. She told me to give Nikita .05-.10 ml per month based on her weight (65-70 pounds). You give it orally so I just squirt it on her tounge or into a piece of meat. Seems to treat all sorts of parasites besides heartworms. You can also (order it on line.

1. www.tractorsupply.com › tsc › productDurvet Ivermectin Injection 1% Sterile ... - Tractor Supply Co.​

   
   Buy Durvet Ivermectin Injection 1% Sterile Solution Livestock Dewormer, 250 mL at Tractor Supply Co. Great Customer Service.

IVM doesn't treat tapeworms that comes from fleas, although it is good for some of the routine worm esp. strongyloides and "heart-worm". Need praziquantel or one of the broad-sprectrum treatments for tapeworms. Usually shows up looking like rice flecks on top of stool (proglottids), when treated you an see square-or rectangular-shaped white-yellow segments.

 

[atepointer]

You can’t ever get complacent just because you can see the finish line.

Truer words have never been spoken. Complacency>Familiarity>Tragedy. Spring of '94 put a legit 5" skid mark in cloth seat of buddy's old GMC truck after having wings and beer maybe 4x in a week. There was a fart....then total silence as we realized there are consequences for such debauchery. Ryans Family Steakhouse $5.99 all you can eat wings and .25c draws.

 

[LeftyJason]

Resurrecting this thread with this that I got from @cas6969.

 

[powdahound76]

I could wreck that thing in a hurry!!

Too weird, not into skulls like that.

They are for sticks at the edge of property and drinking from.

 

[Maggot]

I just gave birth to this little Christmas miracle. Thinking of you @powdahound76 in this season of joy. Be well, all and remember, Christmas would be empty w/o Christ.

 

[Charmingmander]

Imagine the smell

 

[akmike47]

Imagine the smell

it's mostly the smell of cum