Share Your Weird Spam E-mails

[Veer_G]

Translate a few Portuguese-language medical CVs, and all of a sudden you're a Brazilian physician to the world. Not that Brazilian gynecology wouldn't be interesting for an afternoon, right?

 

[1J04]

You've officially lost it. Can we get a palm reader for the gentlemen at table 9?

 

[mdmp5]

At least one of these is in my junk mail at all times:

Dear Beneficiary ,

This is to inform you that we have sent your first payment of
$5,000.00 (Five Thousand dollars) through Money Gram as we have been
given the mandate to transfer your full inheritance funds of
$2.5Million Dollars via Money Gram by the United Nations Government.I
called to give you the information through phone but we could not
reach you even this morning.So,I was instructed to email you the
payment information which include Reference (Money Transfer Control
Number) and sender's name,so that you can pick up your payment of
$5,000.00 to enable us send another payment of $5,000.00 by tomorrow
as you know we shall be sending you only $5,000.00 per day. Please
get back to us for the release of your first payment information and go to any Money Gram
office/outlet closer to you to receive this payment of $5,000.00 and
get back to us to send you another payment by tomorrow.

Sender First Name: Don
Sender Second Name: John
Reference MTCN: The MTCN number will be release to you once you reconfirm your receiver info to pick up your first payment.
Amount Sent: $5000

Call or email this office as soon as you have received your first payment for the releasing of your second payment
you can also track your payment on line once you receive it by login to ( https://secure.moneygram.com/track ) before you go to any money gram
transfer close to you to pick the money.

Fill The Form Below and Send back to us

1. Name:____________________
2. Address:__________________
3. Country:___________________
4. Phone Number:_____________
5. Occupation:________________
6. Sex:_________________
7. Age:___________________

Sincerely,
Regard
Stanley White
Manager Director for Money Gram .
NOTE: To text or call this office for any question.
Office Tel:+1(805) 303-1210Text or Call SMS.

 

[mdmp5]

I also get spam about medical coding all the time too. However, here is a new little gem I just found right now:

Hello,

My name is Mrs.Ella Smith. I was diagnosed with cancer about 2 years ago, and I am receiving treatment for it, but now the doctors are saying I have a short time to live.I had no children of my own with my late husband . I have decided to donate the sum of $7 Million to you, so you can disburse to charities, widows, orphans and less privileged. I was doing this myself but now my health has deteriorated. I will be going in for an operation soon, I want this last act of mine to be my way of giving back to humanity. Please if this is something you can handle kindle contact my lawyer with this number (347) 788-3427

so that he will provide you with more details.

Stay blessed,

Mrs. Mrs.Ella Smith.

 

[Redmanss]

hail, sure that i've been waiting for you to answer, is this the correct email? did you read my message?

I just returned from that two week course I let you know about in my last messages, so I need to get re-acquainted, am i in good terms with you sweety?.

I really liked your final email, where did you go afterwards?

So you can go and take a quick look, i posted very nice photos and let me know what goes through your mind; so watch the pics in REDACTED ... I would like to read your messages there. Look for: jsnez410.

I will be waiting seriously, so don t take too long..
-------------------------------------------------------------+
----- Original Message -----
From: ...........................
To: ............................
Sent: Monday, Oct 20, 2014 22:47
Subject: buenas noches

 

[Spartan67]

We could just forward them all to a certain new friend of the Hide that lives in Cal.....

 

[jcm331]

Omg, at least keep it short...

Greetings.

I Am Diplomatic Agent Lee Johnson I have been trying to reach you on your telephone about an hour now just to inform you about my successful arrival in John F. Kennedy International Airport (USA), with your box of consignment worth $8.5million USA dollars which I have been instructed by UNITED NATION to be delivered to you as part of your compensation funds. The Airport authority demanded for all the legal back up to prove to them that the fund is no way related with drug nor fraud money,

I have presented the papers and handed it over to them and they are very much pleased with the papers I presented, but the only thing that is still keeping me here is the airport delivery Tag which is not placed on the box, one of the Airport Authority has advise that we get the delivery tag so that I can exit the airport immediately and make my delivery successful.

I try to reason with them and they stated the delivery tag will cost us just $150 Dollars only to get the tags placed on the box as that tag will enable me get to your house successfully without any interference, they scanned the boxes and found out that the fund is 100 % spend able and accepted by any bank in the whole world.

As I can not afford to spend more time here due to other delivery I have to take care of in Austria. Here are the papers backing the funds together with my ID CARD as I can accompany you to your bank were you will deposit the fund successfully with these papers. I have I more vital paper with me but I can only present you the hard copy when I reach your house as that it is the diplomatic rules, such as authorization to deliver.

Reconfirm the following information's below so that I can deliver your consignment box to you today.

NAME: =======================================
ADDRESS: ====================================
MOBILE NO.:==================================
NAME OF YOUR NEAREST AIRPORT: ===============
A COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION: ==============

You can direct the tag fee to our Head Office as they will get the tags there for you and they are entitled to receive and make any payment to foreign countries authority. Lee Johnson Here is my cell phone to contact me. (718) 737-9760

Or you can as well email with this email address
([email protected])

Regard
DIPLOMATIC Lee Johnson
CALL ME (718) 737-9760

 

[Keel Haul]

Greetings to you from the White House
(Official Residence of the President of the US)
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington DC 20500 US
PH: (646) 494-0848

I Donald J. Trump is writing to inform you that you're among the 20
lucky winners that will receive the sum of $7,447,000.00, I am very
grateful for your support vote, I pledge to be a president for all
Americans, and visitors in United State of America please join me let's
come together and achieve all goals for our children.

The $7,447,000.00 is from the UN compensation/bailout funds for citizens
of UN member countries and citizens of commonwealth Nations for poverty
alleviation during this economic crunch and recession. The sum of $1BN
was shared amongst 215 companies and individuals.

You were awarded the fund for investment to ease the economic crunch and
to be profitable and help others in need as a measure to ease the
present economic hardship.

However, according to our agreement with United Nations UN all our
communications should be on email for record purpose no call but you can
text me with the above number so you should kindly reconfirm with me the
following information below:

Full Name....
Mailing Address...
City..........
Tel.....
Next of kin.......

One more thing is this, we have to accomplish paperwork such as
clearance certificate and this mentioned certificate will protect you
from both the IRS and IMF. Based on what the attorney said, the
clearance certificate will cost you $55.00 only to accomplish everything
together both the obtaining and the signing of the certificate from the
originated of your fund Benin Republic.

You are directed to submit the $55.00 to Pedro Edu he is in-charge of
the documents, you can send the money through Western Union Money
Transfer or Money Gram transfer only as he directed you outline.

Receiver's name: JUSTIN ANI
Country: Benin Republic
City: Cotonou
Test Question: To Whom
Answer: My friend
Amount: $55 USD

After sent the money kindly fill the below details for pick up"

Reference Number#.......
Sender's name.......
Sender's address......
Sender's phone...

Thanks once again for supporting me, I will make you feel much better
than the past, also bear it in mind that your $7,447,000.00 will be
peacefully transfer to your account within 15hrs immediately the
attorney accomplished the paperwork.

This is your last chance to comply with the instruction or else i will
close your fill which will make it impossible for you to receive your
fund in future.

I wish to get your urgent response. E-mail me only at:
{[email protected]} and also you can text SMS on this number (646)
494-0848

Best regards
Donald J. Trump
US President.
The White House
(Official Residence of the President of the US)
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington DC 20500 US

 

[Clearlight]

Bloody hell Veer , first thing in the pic my eye is drawn to is ‘ 50 Vagas ‘ , with some mutant pink
thing next to it ... Most of my spam is from Asian and Russian cooter scams .

 

[Veer_G]

Bloody hell Veer , first thing in the pic my eye is drawn to is ‘ 50 Vagas ‘ , with some mutant pink
thing next to it ... Most of my spam is from Asian and Russian cooter scams .

Vaga = vacancy, or "spot" in Portuguese. What you're seeing otherwise is a severe palate/nasal birth deformity.

 

[Redmanss]

I am Adrian Bayford the mega winner of 148.6M GBP In Mega Millions
Jackpot, I am donating to 5 random individuals if you get this email
then your email was selected after a spin ball.I have spread most of
my wealth over a number of charities and organizations. I have
voluntarily decided to donate the sum of 1,000,000 GBP to you as one
of the selected 5, to verify my winnings please see my you tube page
below.

WATCH ME HERE: (Killed youtube link)

THIS IS YOUR DONATION CODE: [ 003044]

Reply with the DONATION CODE to this email: (killed it too)

Hope to make you and your family happy.

Regards,

Adrian Bayford.

 

[Threadcutter308]

Don't have a Spam e-mail story, but when I was a kid our home phone number was always confused with the call in number of one of the local TV station's morning talk shows. One week day, by coincidence, I was home sick from school. I was probably in the 7th grade and had developed quite an interest in skiing. So, I'm sitting there, watching this talk show and they had Jean-Claude Killy on and were interviewing him. I thought "hmmm, wouldn't it be funny if the phone started ringing and it was some dingbat that couldn't dial the TV station phone number correctly". Just then, the phone rings. Yep, some broad is on the other end of the phone, panties all moist because she's gonna get to talk to Jean-Claude himself. You guessed it......I told her I was Jean-Claude and we discussed all of my ski racing adventures, wins, etc for about ten minutes. I have zero French accent, nor did I even make an effort to. In order to finally get off the phone, I told her I had to go because I would be teaching a clinic at one of the local ski areas that afternoon. She asked if she could attend and I said "sure". I told her when and where (50 miles away), hung up the phone, ate another jello pop and went back to bed.

I vaguely recall that the TV station had their dial-in number changed shortly thereafter. That wasn't the first time something like that had happened and I think they finally had enough of my antics.

 

[johnnycat]

Here's one I received last year. I guess it's spam. I'm still here.

Dear ________,


I want you to take this message serious, if you value your life.
I have been thinking for a long period of time whether it is worth writing this message or not to you and decided that after all you have the right to know the truth. I will be short. I received an order to kill you, because cause inconvenience to a particular person. I studied you for quite a time and decided to give you a second chance, despite the specifics of my work, the business rules of which do not allow me to do this, as this will damage my reputation (more 10 years of flawless executions)in certain circles. But since this is my last order (at least I do hope so) i decided to break some rules.

So let's Break it down now. I want you to pay the amount of 0.7 Btc. I only accept Bitcoin. Information how to forward funds in this currency you can easily find in Google. Here are the details:

..... ....... ....... ........ ........ ......

When i will receive funds I'll send you the name of the person order came from, as well as all the evidence i have. You can use this information with the authorities. I wouldn't suggest you to call police, because you have a little time (2 days) and the police simply will not have time to investigate this matter.
Responding to this mail box does not make sense, because i use one-time mailbox, because i really do care about my anonymity. I'll let you know as soon as i'll getfunds.
I really do regret that you became my prey.

 

[Badfinger]

I don't have time for this e-mail crap, I still have the IRS guy who speaks broken english calling me and I think he's going to either call my employer and embarrass me at work or have me arrested.

 

[Keel Haul]

I haven’t gotten the foreign IRS guy, but that sounds like it would be fun to mess with them.

 

[Alphatreedog]

I get an endless stream of emails from every SJW Snowflake.org. out there .
I am beginning to think that one of my buddies is breakin my balls . Worked with a guy that used to do this and would send the cards in from trade organizations with fellow employees names . He would check the business owner box on all of them .
Needless to say that the real owners would not be pleased . We had a good laugh .

 

[Veer_G]

I get an endless stream of emails from every SJW Snowflake.org. out there .
I am beginning to think that one of my buddies is breakin my balls . Worked with a guy that used to do this and would send the cards in from trade organizations with fellow employees names . He would check the business owner box on all of them .
Needless to say that the real owners would not be pleased . We had a good laugh .

Just imagine how many more you could have.

 

[Strykervet]

Greetings to you from the White House
(Official Residence of the President of the US)
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington DC 20500 US
PH: (646) 494-0848

I Donald J. Trump is writing to inform you that you're among the 20
lucky winners that will receive the sum of $7,447,000.00, I am very
grateful for your support vote, I pledge to be a president for all
Americans, and visitors in United State of America please join me let's
come together and achieve all goals for our children.

The $7,447,000.00 is from the UN compensation/bailout funds for citizens
of UN member countries and citizens of commonwealth Nations for poverty
alleviation during this economic crunch and recession. The sum of $1BN
was shared amongst 215 companies and individuals.

You were awarded the fund for investment to ease the economic crunch and
to be profitable and help others in need as a measure to ease the
present economic hardship.

However, according to our agreement with United Nations UN all our
communications should be on email for record purpose no call but you can
text me with the above number so you should kindly reconfirm with me the
following information below:

Full Name....
Mailing Address...
City..........
Tel.....
Next of kin.......

One more thing is this, we have to accomplish paperwork such as
clearance certificate and this mentioned certificate will protect you
from both the IRS and IMF. Based on what the attorney said, the
clearance certificate will cost you $55.00 only to accomplish everything
together both the obtaining and the signing of the certificate from the
originated of your fund Benin Republic.

You are directed to submit the $55.00 to Pedro Edu he is in-charge of
the documents, you can send the money through Western Union Money
Transfer or Money Gram transfer only as he directed you outline.

Receiver's name: JUSTIN ANI
Country: Benin Republic
City: Cotonou
Test Question: To Whom
Answer: My friend
Amount: $55 USD

After sent the money kindly fill the below details for pick up"

Reference Number#.......
Sender's name.......
Sender's address......
Sender's phone...

Thanks once again for supporting me, I will make you feel much better
than the past, also bear it in mind that your $7,447,000.00 will be
peacefully transfer to your account within 15hrs immediately the
attorney accomplished the paperwork.

This is your last chance to comply with the instruction or else i will
close your fill which will make it impossible for you to receive your
fund in future.

I wish to get your urgent response. E-mail me only at:
{[email protected]} and also you can text SMS on this number (646)
494-0848

Best regards
Donald J. Trump
US President.
The White House
(Official Residence of the President of the US)
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington DC 20500 US

You can tell this is fake because nowhere does it refer to himself as being the best, most amazing, landslide winner in history. Oh, and the "best president ever", trademark Trump.

 

[mdmp5]

Not a spam email, but several years ago, my mother got a call from some pieces of shit. She’s not very bright, so she plays right into the hand of a con artist. They told her that they have her son (me) hostage, and that they are gonna kill me unless she wires over $500. She went into a panic and just melted down, along with her husband. I noticed some missed calls from a number I didn’t recognize, so I called it back. It was her husband’s number apparently, and when he answered the phone, he was screaming that it wasn’t me (I guess he was all confused). My mom got on the phone and it took me a couple minutes to convince her that I was indeed not being held captive by some Nigerian fucking scumbag. I had a long talk with her after this whole ordeal and tried to explain to her how to handle scumbag scams. She almost went to western union; un fucking real.

 

[Sixfivesavage]

I constantly get emails, hell, even regular mail about Medicare and shit. I'm 31. What the hell do I get all this shit for, has someone stolen my identity and enrolled under my name?

 

[sirhrmechanic]

Look for a break in the spam emails. Nigeria is suffering a nationwide power blackout! So no letters from deposed Warlords for now. Cheers, sirhr