Shit My Dad Says

[SierraCharlie]

I don't know if you guys have seen this but it's f---ing hilarious!

http://twitter.com/Shitmydadsays

This is an old school dad, they don't make 'em like this anymore.

 

[shankster..]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

<span style="font-weight: bold">Don't listen to the pussy side of you when you make a decision. People gravitate towards being a pussy. Remove the pussy, son."</span>
<span style="font-weight: bold">[/b]

“Yes I got him a gift. He had a kidney stone. You piss a rock through your pecker, you deserve more than just a pat on the fucking back."
</span>
<span style="font-weight: bold">“We’re banned from the dog park. Well, I guess it’s okay to hump, and it’s okay to bark, but both at the same time freaks people out."</span>


awesome.

 

[leagle2]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

Laughed till I cried. I could hear both my father's and grandfather's voices. Hilarious but a bunch of words to live by.

 

[jrhammons]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

Oh God I hurt! I am physically crying and hurting that is so damn funny. Oh I could hear my granddad saying that

 

[Whiskey 2-1]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

Sometimes life leaves a $100 bill on your dresser, and you dont realize until later that it's because it f#'d you.

 

[Switchblade]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

It was real funny...until I saw my own words...

 

[jasonk]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

"Fine, let’s take a vote. Who wants fish for dinner?...Yeah, democracy ain’t so fun when it fucks you, huh?”

 

[SierraCharlie]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

Some of my favorites:

<span style="font-weight: bold">"A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown f-cking toenail. Stop bitching."

"Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."

"I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or f-ck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that." </span>

Greatness.

SC

 

[KRAKER]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

I laughed so hard I shot milk out of my nose, and that's kinda' fucked up 'cuz I was drinking rum at the time.

 

[ArcticLight]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
“We’re banned from the dog park. Well, I guess it’s okay to hump, and it’s okay to bark, but both at the same time freaks people out."

"Everybody's broke, so here's the rule for Christmas this year; if you still shit your pants, you get a present. Otherwise tough shit."
</div></div>



Damn those two had me sneezing and laughing so damn hard!

 

[Lindy]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

That's awesome! Thanks for the link!

(My wife concluded from my reading some of those to her that men and women are different. Ya think?)

 

[Kogapsp]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

Lifes a bitch so grow the fuck up. Here are the clippers go mow the lawn.. I was 6 years old.

 

[SierraCharlie]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Lindy</div><div class="ubbcode-body">That's awesome! Thanks for the link!

</div></div>

Anytime.

SC

 

[rockn30809]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

Damn that's good some good stuff. Feels like I'm 12 all over again.

 

[Alaskaman11]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

One of my Favorite dad sayings was when I did something stupid, he would look at me and shake his head and say "son, your as fucked up as a football bat" Well dad is no longer here, and what would I give to hear him say that.

 

[Gpd618]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

My Pop used to tell me Your gonna let your alligator mouth overload your Hummingbird ass, or another classic was "Eat up with Dumbass".

 

[rockn30809]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Shooter618</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My Pop used to tell me Your gonna let your alligator mouth overload your Hummingbird ass</div></div>

HaHa, I got that one a few times too.

 

[ArcticLight]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

I just saw the "MORE" button - OMG -

This dog ain't an inside dog, you want an inside dog go get your own inside! LOL

 

[Kogapsp]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

If you were going to break your arm. Why the hell did you let your brother do it.

I am in the hospital left arm in traction.

Dad says, "Well, at least it was your left arm and you your right handed and least you can still masterbate if your bored."

 

[Switchblade]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

I will never forget:

You gonna stand there and watch your brother get beat up?

I did for another second before I made sure both the assholes beating him up were taught that you don't fight just one brother.

Sam and Torin, well lets just say a few kids back in NY found that out the hard way

 

[ubet]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

My favorite from my dad was

"dad Im doing the best I can"

"Well son its obvious your god damned best just aint fuckin good enough."

I was 9 I think.

 

[ubet]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

Thanks for the link,

This was my favorite on ther
"A scar ain't 13 god damned stitches. I'll introduce you to men with REAL scars, then we'll all laugh at your fucking 13 stitches together."

 

[Strickland]

Re: Shit My Dad Says

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">"Everybody's broke, so here's the rule for Christmas this year; if you still shit your pants, you get a present. Otherwise tough shit."</div></div>

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA