Shoutout a vet

[alexj-12]

Hey everyone, for the 4th we wanted to start a chain shouting out vets to hear your stories! Anything you’ve got to share whether it’s funny, words of wisdom, etc. We’d love to hear it!

And I’ll start with… @Lowlight

 

[oneshot86]

This one time we all got drunk and gunny got mad

 

[Slash0311]

I got to see my CO pepper sprayed outside a bar in Camp Lejune.. made all the grunt stuff worth it.

Happy 4th to all!!

 

[FredHammer]

In Thailand, I really thought it was a girl...

 

[D̷e̷v̷i̷l̷D̷o̷c̷A̷Z̷]

Hey everyone, for the 4th we wanted to start a chain shouting out vets to hear your stories! Anything you’ve got to share whether it’s funny, words of wisdom, etc. We’d love to hear it!

And I’ll start with… @Lowlight

Okay vets. Height line!

 

[7.62willdo]

 

[232593]

Buffer rodeos & cherry hazing.

 

[Lowlight]

@Sparky

Happy 4th

I’m miss the story part, I had my ID card yanked in Spain I was late from sleeping with a USO lady.

So my ID yanked the next morning my Capt came in to see me, not about the ID card at first more so the fact he was married and sleeping with the roommate.

I told him if my ID was on my rack after chow, I don’t know nothing. After chow my ID was gently place in the center of my pillow

No liberty violation for this guy.

 

[Sparky]

We had a Russian in our company, and he went to the armory and stole 45 different rifles from the armory, put them in his vehicle and was going to drive off Camp Pendleton. I’ve never seen the concrete barriers go up on every exit on the base. No one was allowed off Pendleton till they found him!!!

 

[phantasm]

In Thailand, I really thought it was a girl...

BMCM's number 1 rule in Thailand... "when the hottest girl you've seen walks up to you in a bar, give it a package check. If it has nuts, slug it and run".

 

[FredHammer]

BMCM's number 1 rule in Thailand... "when the hottest girl you've seen walks up to you in a bar, give it a package check. If it has nuts, slug it and run".

It didn't have that plumbing anymore. Good looking fake tits and body from hormone therapy. I only got a blow job so it's all good

 

[mi650]

At Ft. Gordon, had to hang around for a week after graduating AIT waiting to go to jump school.

I'm sure the night started off at a titty bar in Augusta, but after that it's kind of a blur until I woke up in the wrong barracks, to the sound of an E7 banging on a trash can lid. He just looked at me as I got up and walked out.

 

[TX_Dan]

Yes…. A ship can be asked to leave a port due to excessive shore leave. Even if it is in the US

 

[wvfarrier]

Got drunk and took an alcohol fueled crap in the shower of the officers barracks at Camp Rhino. They spent weeks trying to figure out where the smell was coming from

 

[n2ishun]

Carter took our ammo and even our empty mags.
Couldn't shoot Hadji when we knew what was coming.
Building went boom.
Fuck Carter.

 

[diggler1833]

This one time we all got drunk and gunny got mad

I knew I'd find you, motherf@cker!

 

[diggler1833]

Approximately 2,000 Marines have seen my penis over the course of my career.

Approximately only 1 saw it voluntarily (WM).

 

[Gunfighter14e2]

Words of wisdom,
When you are drinking 2+ gallons of water a day for 5 days and are still not peeing,... Seeking another MOS or A/O to play in, is a wise move.

 

[7.62willdo]

Approximately 2,000 Marines have seen my penis over the course of my career.

Approximately only 1 saw it voluntarily (WM).

And they’re still laughing…….

 

[FredHammer]

Approximately 2,000 Marines have seen my penis over the course of my career.

Approximately only 1 saw it voluntarily (WM).

Oh you type! I knew a dude like you! In Iraq I had a trailer mate that would abuse me with his “Muppet Show” after a shower. Dick hanging/flopping over a towel singing a Crusty the Clown muppets theme…

RIP Red, you sick fuck!

 

[Ronws]

BMCM's number 1 rule in Thailand... "when the hottest girl you've seen walks up to you in a bar, give it a package check. If it has nuts, slug it and run".

I just had an image of that. If it is nuts and you slug it, do you go to town, like a speed bag?

I am not a vet but I do enjoy the stories.

 

[oneshot86]

I knew I'd find you, motherf@cker!

I dint see anything gunny.
Really

 

[hfinkle]

SPREAD OUT ONE GERNADE WILL GET YOU ALL

 

[farwest]

Army Security Agency 1962-1964. Only deployment was 18 months on a mountain top inI Asmara, Ethopia. Experienced several earthquakes while there. Not a tourist stop.

 

[D̷e̷v̷i̷l̷D̷o̷c̷A̷Z̷]

I tea bagged a guy for falling asleep while I was up front showing the unit how we were going to set up our medical gear.

Not some weak, pants on technique either. I took off my pants and put my balls on his forehead. There’s a pic somewhere out there.

He woke up MAD!

No one ever fell asleep on me again!

Burns, if you are in here. Not sorry

 

[Lowlight]

Approximately 2,000 Marines have seen my penis over the course of my career.

Approximately only 1 saw it voluntarily (WM).

Marc will tell you,

Overseas when a foreign military guy would ask WTF cuz I was so small, Marc would go “Galli, whip out your cock”, and I would show they why.

 

[elwarpo]

I learned:
Never skip a meal, shower, nap or toilet, since you do not know when the next one will come...

 

[Ronws]

Marc will tell you,

Overseas when a foreign military guy would ask WTF cuz I was so small, Marc would go “Galli, whip out your cock”, and I would show they why.

Adding insult to injury?

I was powerless to stop myself.

 

[TheBigCountry]

@TheBigCountry I’d love to hear a story about your service! Since you want to shit on anything I have to say about mine. Let’s hear something. Semper Fi!

Who are you again?

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

Three of us putting all of our rounds through one target during rapid fire during pre qual.
During qualifying I put a round in the target to my left. He almost sent one just as his target dropped. I kinda laughed and he shot my target. He got an X and I got a Maggie. Fucker!!

 

[Ronws]

When I was younger, I had a friend, Robby. He joined up with the Air Force (late 70's.) He went to electronics school to train for repairing communications equipment.

Then a diesel mechanic at the AFB in Wiesbaden, Germany was exiting because he had finished his enlistment.

Poof, midstream, they sent him to diesel mechanic school and then he was stationed in Wiesbaden. He was trying to buy a Benz over there on timed payments and the seller held the title.

He got in an accident and "did not have his papers." So, he was briefly arrested for driving a car without proof of ownership.

His sgt, a guy who purely hated him, got him discharged under general circumstances. Which was upgraded to honorable after six months because he was not a bad guy, just unlucky.

That is when I devised the Air Force slogan - "Aim high - but accept what you get."

 

[FredHammer]

Who are you again?

Really, you’re the one stalking me. So let’s hear something. Maybe a story about fucking up paperwork in supply or motor pool.

 

[TheBigCountry]

Really, you’re the one stalking me. So let’s hear something. Maybe a story about fucking up paperwork in supply or motor pool.

I think you need to lay off the sauce/meth there Gingerman.

It’s bad for your health.

 

[Ronws]

I think you need to lay off the sauce/meth there Gingerman.

It’s bad for your health.

 

[RETE8]

One guy tucking his junk doing his “little Vietnamese girl” impersonation after PT. Doing a battalion PFT in the Philippines on Jan 2nd. Summers in Iraq and having to experience everything from watching a guy shit in a MRE sleeve on route clearance in Ramadi to boot banging about every high end Mercedes & BMW in sight.

Oh…..and being in the same rifle squad as @Rob01

 

[edlin_79]

Thank you everyone who has served/serving. A special thanks to the folks who haven't but understand what a person gives up to serve. Less than 2% of the US population enlists or serves in a military capacity. We all know better than most the way that society is trying to take us, it's very bad. I did not know what I got myself into 22 years ago but I certainly do now. They will have to drag me out now. Still lots of good people serving but the ones that are here for a free ride, still need the proper swift kick in the ass.
CPO/LDO/Mustang Leadership.

 

[jrassy]

@Sparky

Happy 4th

I’m miss the story part, I had my ID card yanked in Spain I was late from sleeping with a USO lady.

So my ID yanked the next morning my Capt came in to see me, not about the ID card at first more so the fact he was married and sleeping with the roommate.

I told him if my ID was on my rack after chow, I don’t know nothing. After chow my ID was gently place in the center of my pillow

No liberty violation for this guy.

Oh you type! I knew a dude like you! In Iraq I had a trailer mate that would abuse me with his “Muppet Show” after a shower. Dick hanging/flopping over a towel singing a Crusty the Clown muppets theme…

RIP Red, you sick fuck!

That’s a great story RIP whoever the fuck. dude in our barracks slept naked, so pranced before and after rack time swinging his shit all over, we all( NCOs) busted on him but that fucker was resilient. He was a NCO to so ….weird times then.

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

To the fuckers that got drunk and rode a bicycle down the flight line on North Island after closing time. The SP were assholes for giving you a DUI.

 

[roostercogburn98]

To Scuba Steve who got drunk and drove his POV down flight line of fully armed response aircraft.

 

[RETE8]

@DarnYankeeUSMC When were you at North Island?

 

[FredHammer]

Ok, one more...whistling through the guntruck PA while rolling around a FOB...never got old watching the poor bros running for the bunkers or into each other!

 

[EddieNFL]

JYF Bravo in Honduras 88 or 89. Huge guy from the 82nd as I recall, threatening everyone in the plywood hut called a bar. Some guy about two-thirds his size bum rushed him, got his shoulder under his right arm and took him out the door and threw his ass in the mud. Dude stood over him and said, “Don’t come back tonight.”

 

[Baron23]

Not sure if you can see but my tactical CS was "Flash"....and that story is going to the grave with me! LOL

 

[mi650]

Not sure if you can see but my tactical CS was "Flash"....and that story is going to the grave with me! LOL


View attachment 8453013

So, you picked up a stripper and shot your wad before getting it in.

You were done in a flash!

 

[Baron23]

So, you picked up a stripper and shot your wad before getting it in.

You were done in a flash!

Good guess...but not quite. LOL

 

[Ronws]

Not sure if you can see but my tactical CS was "Flash"....and that story is going to the grave with me! LOL


View attachment 8453013

Probably someone stole your towel while you were in the shower.

But I think it is more likely that you forget to zip up you zipper.

 

[143lrsd]

Became a tree hugger Nov. 96……. Took me almost an hour to get out of that tree! Fucking Air Force!

 

[edlin_79]

I’d have to take Levi at his word! Whether joking or not this dude would be rollin’ out the shitter n mid 90s heat in Bagram bragging about the new porno mag he got in the mail. Cannot believe that dude would be rubbing it out in those nasty MF’ers. After seeing him get a box full of “liquor and porn” (literally said that over 50 times on outside of box) mailed to him to have him open it up in front of me and loaded full of JD and Debbie does Dallas video’s, I knew this dude was for real lol

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

@DarnYankeeUSMC When were you at North Island?

I was TAD there a few times in the late 80's.

Don't remember the actual dates. I'd have to check my SRB but I have a few memories of the drunken times.

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

To the fuckers that got drunk and rode a bicycle down the flight line on North Island after closing time. The SP were assholes for giving you a DUI.

It was early when I posted this. So I will add some missing details.

We closed down the E club and these two were staggering drunk. There was a bicycle (beach type) outside the club and they decided to borrow it to ride back to the barracks. One pedaling and the other one on the handlebars. Somehow they ended up on the flighline, which was not hard to do at the time, and the tower called the SP's. IIRC one guy, the pedler, got a DUI and the other guy got a public drunkenness charge. It was somewhere around 2 in the morning and not like flight ops were going on. So it was a bit blown out of proportion for the charges.