About TEN Damned years ago, I honked the horn of my Mustang at some asshole on a bike. It went like this.
I used to own a very nice mid-80's Mustang perfect for Sunday drives on country roads. I married a woman from a family of people that own cars and treat them like farm equipment until they fall apart. Owning, driving or enjoying to drive a nice car is as foreign as owning a space shuttle and liking travel in outer space. The concept of a pleasant drive down a twisty road at moderate speeds is not even a concept.
One day about a damned decade ago, she went with me. We are tooling down a straight, flat piece of road at maybe 50 mph in a 45 mph zone approaching two people on bicycles. My county is full of assholes on bikes wearing spandex and peddling right down the fucking centerline of highways like cunts on bikes usually do. This asshole is trying to impress some mushy butt he found on Match.com.
I slowed down to under 30 mph as we approached and started easing into the left lane(oncoming lane of travel) the fucking bicycle asshole fucking crosses the centerline, stands up on the peddles to show me his latex covered bicycle ass and starts weaving back and forth like a fucking tool. He is now blocking the oncoming lane of travel. He is miles away from the woman who is peddling along close to the edge line in the right lane where she is supposed to be. I roll up about 20 ft away, almost stopped, he still won't get in his own fucking lane so I laid on the horn continuously.
His peddling cow starts screaming, bails off the bike and gets in the ditch. He is standing on the peddles, showing his ass like a baboon and still in the wrong fucking lane. So I yelled, "do you FUCKING mind getting out of the god damned road?!?!?!?!" He got back in the right lane and went to rescue his heifer. I drove past them having made the world a better place by putting this fucktard in his place.
My wife was pissed at me and has been for a damned decade. I am looking at buying another sports car and she has commented, she will never ride in it with me,,,,,,,,,,,,,EVER!!! Because I honked the horn at an asshole on a bike once. I honestly could give a shit, I will probably still buy the car. But for the next decade she will be a bitch about it, refuse to ride in it, refuse to sit in it and eventually will bitch it takes up room in my fucking shop.
In her mind, I should have came to a complete fucking stop, the only car on for miles on a country road and watched this asshole peddle down the wrong side of the road until he was good and ready to let me pass. She finds zero problems with an asshole on a bike swerving into the oncoming lane to stop me from passing because I had a sports car and she fucking hates sports cars. In her mind, if a tree fell on me while sitting in that car it was deserved because people should not own those kinds of cars.
No point here...................................just damnit.
I used to own a very nice mid-80's Mustang perfect for Sunday drives on country roads. I married a woman from a family of people that own cars and treat them like farm equipment until they fall apart. Owning, driving or enjoying to drive a nice car is as foreign as owning a space shuttle and liking travel in outer space. The concept of a pleasant drive down a twisty road at moderate speeds is not even a concept.
One day about a damned decade ago, she went with me. We are tooling down a straight, flat piece of road at maybe 50 mph in a 45 mph zone approaching two people on bicycles. My county is full of assholes on bikes wearing spandex and peddling right down the fucking centerline of highways like cunts on bikes usually do. This asshole is trying to impress some mushy butt he found on Match.com.
I slowed down to under 30 mph as we approached and started easing into the left lane(oncoming lane of travel) the fucking bicycle asshole fucking crosses the centerline, stands up on the peddles to show me his latex covered bicycle ass and starts weaving back and forth like a fucking tool. He is now blocking the oncoming lane of travel. He is miles away from the woman who is peddling along close to the edge line in the right lane where she is supposed to be. I roll up about 20 ft away, almost stopped, he still won't get in his own fucking lane so I laid on the horn continuously.
His peddling cow starts screaming, bails off the bike and gets in the ditch. He is standing on the peddles, showing his ass like a baboon and still in the wrong fucking lane. So I yelled, "do you FUCKING mind getting out of the god damned road?!?!?!?!" He got back in the right lane and went to rescue his heifer. I drove past them having made the world a better place by putting this fucktard in his place.
My wife was pissed at me and has been for a damned decade. I am looking at buying another sports car and she has commented, she will never ride in it with me,,,,,,,,,,,,,EVER!!! Because I honked the horn at an asshole on a bike once. I honestly could give a shit, I will probably still buy the car. But for the next decade she will be a bitch about it, refuse to ride in it, refuse to sit in it and eventually will bitch it takes up room in my fucking shop.
In her mind, I should have came to a complete fucking stop, the only car on for miles on a country road and watched this asshole peddle down the wrong side of the road until he was good and ready to let me pass. She finds zero problems with an asshole on a bike swerving into the oncoming lane to stop me from passing because I had a sports car and she fucking hates sports cars. In her mind, if a tree fell on me while sitting in that car it was deserved because people should not own those kinds of cars.
No point here...................................just damnit.
Last edited: