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Strykervet - our own go-fund him! Donate today!
- Thread starter powdahound76
- Start date
Ok. Post it in the FS thread as well, pm me you shipping address and after payment I'll get it shipped out as soon as I can.
Well, reading this thread and seeing what you all did for SV in his time of oppression by the "fairer" sex and her legions of doom makes me think the SF motto "DE OPPRESSO LIBER" runs strong and deep in the type of individuals that visit the Hide. Good show gents, looking forward to the AAR from SV.
Had to fix that a bit. Say what you will about the bald guy all ya want, but I'll just say this. NOBODY is more all in when it comes time to have someone's back. Believe that. Ya big fucking softy.
So the bump BTT on this has spurred another influx of denero. That three fiddy turned into Pho Twenny Phi. That's another pretty damn good chunk. Good on ya guys !!!!! @Strykervet only one check to clear then that total is on it's wayyyyyyyyy.
Ok, you've heard it before, now you're gonna hear it again. The checks in the mail. Pho Twenny Phi on it's way and a pic of the little rascal PM'd to our guy. Getter done Brother!!!
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Kegger at Stryker's house!
Oh, and a little video clip, especially for her.....@ 1:11 in particular;
Oh, and a little video clip, especially for her.....@ 1:11 in particular;
Gotta update and confirmation that he'd got the last check in the mail and that things are going pretty damn well. Gotta few obstacles he can work out and we'll see. He's in the critical hour. We'll hear from him soon enough.
Okay. It's finally over. Before I go on, I first want to thank everyone for all they did to help me. I couldn't before, promising to shy away from discussing divorce stuff during the process. So BIG thanks, I seriously couldn't have done it without you guys. You all saved my ass big time; when I was at my darkest hour, you guys were at your finest. The brotherhood that exists here is amazing and I am proud to be a member here, proud to be counted amongst you guys. From donations to advice to just a kind word, thank you sincerely.
This is long winded and you don't have to read further. It's just a bit of an explanation of what all went on. I'm sorry if it's not totally coherent, I'm very tired, and I'm sorry it's so long but I have a tendency to let the words just fall off my fingers and onto the screen.
So on 20DEC, I told my wife "love you" when she left that morning, she said the same thing back. She took the cocker spaniel to work, which was odd but we'd talked about her taking him someday, so it wasn't too out of the norm. I didn't notice the things she took, things that weren't obvious, things in draws. So when she didn't come home after I called to tell her I lost my wallet on the road, didn't answer, I got worried. Then the guy that served me that evening alleviated that. So at the very start of the Christmas holiday, she served me out of the blue, no warning, no nothing. I didn't have any money, I'm disabled sufficiently I can't work anymore. I gave her all the money so I didn't have any, everything was in her name. She locked me out accounts right away and wanted a restraining order and wanted me to turn in all my firearms to a friend that has no security and was living in a hotel room at the time, not to mention leaving me with no defense and alone, and I wouldn't be able to renew my CC card for a whole year after the divorce was final. She also wanted some firearms, two revolvers that were hers, a 9mm Glock, a rack grade LMT M4 w/KAC rail, flip sight and ACOG, a Noveske Johnny Rifle, Mepro-MOR, M952V light and an SDN6 can, a set of IBA/OTV armor w/plates, the house and the stock, not to mention some other assets. I had 20 days to respond, but if you recall, last Christmas basically ran into New Years, and then lawyers take off an INORDINATE amount of time then, especially considering you only have 20 days to respond, including holidays and weekends! Then again, I bet most people don't do ambush divorces at Christmas either. The end result was I almost forced to default, the worst position to be in. She just gets her way then and I can't do anything about it. A default means she'd just tell me what's gonna be what and that was the plan I think, to force me out of the house with a restraining order and she'd take everything because I couldn't move it out, and then anything I got out of the divorce would be what she gave me and it'd all be locked up somewhere anyway. In addition to not having money, I couldn't even find a lawyer to talk to. Not in time. Then you guys came through out of the blue... I made an appt., literally on the day of default, and the notice of appearance and the response were both filed with, again, literally five minutes left before default. Wow. And I couldn't have done it without you guys.
I went from default to de fight and felt better that day than I had since it started three weeks prior.
I got my pay of course. I could have used that. But the cost of the lawyer was enough I could get the lawyer OR eat and pay bills but not both. There were a lot of hidden costs in Jan. too and it ended up wiping out by the end of the month anyway. You guys took a lot of weight off my shoulders, and not just with the money, the outpouring of support was amazing as well. You guys shined. Because the divorce and losing all my ID and stuff wasn't the end. I found out a good childhood friend had died in a house fire recently, another of my aunts died (second in a year's time) my mother was sick and diagnosed with congestive heart failure, then my best childhood friend was diagnosed with the same damn thing as well as COPD! The hits just kept coming, I got sick with the flu, I was (and am) in more pain due to having to deal with everything on my own now whereas she used to help. The exacerbated disabilities led to increased insomnia and I had one of the worst bouts, hardly sleeping at all this winter. Still dealing with it actually. There was some new bad news everyday. Every. Day. I had no help and was alone and had pretty much given up on humanity altogether, just been burned too many times. Then it felt like it wasn't even worth doing, like the deck was stacked. But I'm a fighter and don't give up even when I should. So all the support you guys gave me through this, letting me know that I wasn't as alone as it seemed, that really helped. You guys really helped a brother through his darkest hour and gave me just enough hope and reason to top off my tank and fight back.
The donations went towards the attorney, that was $3500 (so far, I haven't seen the final statement yet; could be for more, could be for less). The extra was used to hire yet another lawyer to fix the trust she had to be removed from and to replace items she took like silverware, etc. All divorce related costs. I kept receipts too but couldn't show those so I sent 'em to 1j04. I'd post 'em here but for some reason I can't, the image is too big? Anyway, it's available for anyone interested.
Long story short, lots of backs and forths between the two lawyers, she got some items she listed, she got the house, she got the stock, she got her two revolvers, she got the IBA and an ACH, and I basically got everything else (which includes the entire armory and arsenal, trust, loading gear, etc.). This constitutes everything I got out of the divorce and while what I got my be worth more now, the house and stock she got are investments and will continue to increase in value. Still, I don't have to leave yet, I get to rent my own house from her for two years. She wanted a property management company to handle it, so it costs me a little more per month, but I'm not responsible for fixing things anymore and don't pay her insurance anymore. I got my trust and the firearms, loading gear, etc. Could use a roomie though. 2 years will give me time to fix my credit, save for a down payment and find another home using my VA certificate. I heard you could sell your VGLI, I think I'd be interested in doing that now but not sure how to go about it. If anyone knows, PM me.
I'll never really know why she left, the true reason. I tried asking but I couldn't get a an answer, just blame. Her wanting to hurt me more I guess. She stopped being truthful with me sometime back I guess. No respect, didn't talk to me about it. She did like to play the victim and liked to use me as the scapegoat and she gaslighted me a lot too. I never laid a hand on her or anything like that, worst I did was say mean things in the heat of the moment (usually during an argument) felt bad about it and apologized a couple hours later. But she held her own in arguments. It's all confusing still, but the way she left me and the way she behaved prior is kinda hard to, uh, desire? So maybe it was inevitable. I think I valued the institution of marriage more, she had a fairy tale ideal of what marriage should be and blamed me for it not being Disney-like. I found something she wrote the night we got married and were filling out a question and answer book about ourselves. Her most satisfying breakup? "(this guy), I just left". That was a boyfriend before me, she wrote it fifteen years ago and she chose to end her marriage of that long the same way she dealt with a short relationship in her early 20's. Maybe I'm better off for it. It's just hard starting over, you know? Especially at 40+.
I guess that covers it in a nutshell... There's been a lot of just laying around trying to get rest or whatever. Trying to start over. Setting up autopay accounts and such. Dr. appointments. Doing my chores when I can.
I've donated to causes on here in the past and collected patches for that kid, but it never once crossed my mind how important that was to the person on the other end. I mean, I know what it's like to hit hard times but I've never been at the total mercy of someone else's goodwill. Never been in a situation like this, lost it all but still losing and no way of fighting back, never had to accept help from anyone especially as an adult. So it was hard, but I couldn't have done it otherwise I would have defaulted, and so now I know what it means to be that guy on the other end. That was life changing help right where, and when I needed it most.
The next time a member is in need on the 'Hide, I'll help, sure, but having gone through this and seeing just how much it means, how life changing it can be or even life or death, I'll be apt to do more. It's the only way, to pay it forward.
Again, thank you all for helping me.
This is long winded and you don't have to read further. It's just a bit of an explanation of what all went on. I'm sorry if it's not totally coherent, I'm very tired, and I'm sorry it's so long but I have a tendency to let the words just fall off my fingers and onto the screen.
So on 20DEC, I told my wife "love you" when she left that morning, she said the same thing back. She took the cocker spaniel to work, which was odd but we'd talked about her taking him someday, so it wasn't too out of the norm. I didn't notice the things she took, things that weren't obvious, things in draws. So when she didn't come home after I called to tell her I lost my wallet on the road, didn't answer, I got worried. Then the guy that served me that evening alleviated that. So at the very start of the Christmas holiday, she served me out of the blue, no warning, no nothing. I didn't have any money, I'm disabled sufficiently I can't work anymore. I gave her all the money so I didn't have any, everything was in her name. She locked me out accounts right away and wanted a restraining order and wanted me to turn in all my firearms to a friend that has no security and was living in a hotel room at the time, not to mention leaving me with no defense and alone, and I wouldn't be able to renew my CC card for a whole year after the divorce was final. She also wanted some firearms, two revolvers that were hers, a 9mm Glock, a rack grade LMT M4 w/KAC rail, flip sight and ACOG, a Noveske Johnny Rifle, Mepro-MOR, M952V light and an SDN6 can, a set of IBA/OTV armor w/plates, the house and the stock, not to mention some other assets. I had 20 days to respond, but if you recall, last Christmas basically ran into New Years, and then lawyers take off an INORDINATE amount of time then, especially considering you only have 20 days to respond, including holidays and weekends! Then again, I bet most people don't do ambush divorces at Christmas either. The end result was I almost forced to default, the worst position to be in. She just gets her way then and I can't do anything about it. A default means she'd just tell me what's gonna be what and that was the plan I think, to force me out of the house with a restraining order and she'd take everything because I couldn't move it out, and then anything I got out of the divorce would be what she gave me and it'd all be locked up somewhere anyway. In addition to not having money, I couldn't even find a lawyer to talk to. Not in time. Then you guys came through out of the blue... I made an appt., literally on the day of default, and the notice of appearance and the response were both filed with, again, literally five minutes left before default. Wow. And I couldn't have done it without you guys.
I went from default to de fight and felt better that day than I had since it started three weeks prior.
I got my pay of course. I could have used that. But the cost of the lawyer was enough I could get the lawyer OR eat and pay bills but not both. There were a lot of hidden costs in Jan. too and it ended up wiping out by the end of the month anyway. You guys took a lot of weight off my shoulders, and not just with the money, the outpouring of support was amazing as well. You guys shined. Because the divorce and losing all my ID and stuff wasn't the end. I found out a good childhood friend had died in a house fire recently, another of my aunts died (second in a year's time) my mother was sick and diagnosed with congestive heart failure, then my best childhood friend was diagnosed with the same damn thing as well as COPD! The hits just kept coming, I got sick with the flu, I was (and am) in more pain due to having to deal with everything on my own now whereas she used to help. The exacerbated disabilities led to increased insomnia and I had one of the worst bouts, hardly sleeping at all this winter. Still dealing with it actually. There was some new bad news everyday. Every. Day. I had no help and was alone and had pretty much given up on humanity altogether, just been burned too many times. Then it felt like it wasn't even worth doing, like the deck was stacked. But I'm a fighter and don't give up even when I should. So all the support you guys gave me through this, letting me know that I wasn't as alone as it seemed, that really helped. You guys really helped a brother through his darkest hour and gave me just enough hope and reason to top off my tank and fight back.
The donations went towards the attorney, that was $3500 (so far, I haven't seen the final statement yet; could be for more, could be for less). The extra was used to hire yet another lawyer to fix the trust she had to be removed from and to replace items she took like silverware, etc. All divorce related costs. I kept receipts too but couldn't show those so I sent 'em to 1j04. I'd post 'em here but for some reason I can't, the image is too big? Anyway, it's available for anyone interested.
Long story short, lots of backs and forths between the two lawyers, she got some items she listed, she got the house, she got the stock, she got her two revolvers, she got the IBA and an ACH, and I basically got everything else (which includes the entire armory and arsenal, trust, loading gear, etc.). This constitutes everything I got out of the divorce and while what I got my be worth more now, the house and stock she got are investments and will continue to increase in value. Still, I don't have to leave yet, I get to rent my own house from her for two years. She wanted a property management company to handle it, so it costs me a little more per month, but I'm not responsible for fixing things anymore and don't pay her insurance anymore. I got my trust and the firearms, loading gear, etc. Could use a roomie though. 2 years will give me time to fix my credit, save for a down payment and find another home using my VA certificate. I heard you could sell your VGLI, I think I'd be interested in doing that now but not sure how to go about it. If anyone knows, PM me.
I'll never really know why she left, the true reason. I tried asking but I couldn't get a an answer, just blame. Her wanting to hurt me more I guess. She stopped being truthful with me sometime back I guess. No respect, didn't talk to me about it. She did like to play the victim and liked to use me as the scapegoat and she gaslighted me a lot too. I never laid a hand on her or anything like that, worst I did was say mean things in the heat of the moment (usually during an argument) felt bad about it and apologized a couple hours later. But she held her own in arguments. It's all confusing still, but the way she left me and the way she behaved prior is kinda hard to, uh, desire? So maybe it was inevitable. I think I valued the institution of marriage more, she had a fairy tale ideal of what marriage should be and blamed me for it not being Disney-like. I found something she wrote the night we got married and were filling out a question and answer book about ourselves. Her most satisfying breakup? "(this guy), I just left". That was a boyfriend before me, she wrote it fifteen years ago and she chose to end her marriage of that long the same way she dealt with a short relationship in her early 20's. Maybe I'm better off for it. It's just hard starting over, you know? Especially at 40+.
I guess that covers it in a nutshell... There's been a lot of just laying around trying to get rest or whatever. Trying to start over. Setting up autopay accounts and such. Dr. appointments. Doing my chores when I can.
I've donated to causes on here in the past and collected patches for that kid, but it never once crossed my mind how important that was to the person on the other end. I mean, I know what it's like to hit hard times but I've never been at the total mercy of someone else's goodwill. Never been in a situation like this, lost it all but still losing and no way of fighting back, never had to accept help from anyone especially as an adult. So it was hard, but I couldn't have done it otherwise I would have defaulted, and so now I know what it means to be that guy on the other end. That was life changing help right where, and when I needed it most.
The next time a member is in need on the 'Hide, I'll help, sure, but having gone through this and seeing just how much it means, how life changing it can be or even life or death, I'll be apt to do more. It's the only way, to pay it forward.
Again, thank you all for helping me.
Thank you for the update. I was just thinking to myself the other day and wondering how you were doing and how it went. I am glad the Hide was able to be there for you. Sounds like things can only improve and keep getting better for you.
Q
QuickNDirty
Guest
Fuck yeah, Stryker. When's the rental property party where we can convincingly sabotage some things to rack up maintenance bills and keep the hurts coming?
Rock On Brother !! Time to get back to being happy. It's been our pleasure to have your back.
Time to get back to being happy. It's been our pleasure to have your back. 
It sucks you had to deal with it but I'm glad it's behind you.
My divorce was a while ago, so I'm done with that misery, but it sounds like we're both dealing with the day to day "WTF do I do with my life" headaches, insomnia, listlessness etc. if you need to chat, hit me up. I'm totally failing at life right now so I can assure you no judgements.
My divorce was a while ago, so I'm done with that misery, but it sounds like we're both dealing with the day to day "WTF do I do with my life" headaches, insomnia, listlessness etc. if you need to chat, hit me up. I'm totally failing at life right now so I can assure you no judgements.
I hope it all goes well for you Stryker.
A couple of weeks ago I found out that my oldest boy is walking down this path.
She is the one that started whoring around and it took my boy a while to learn of it. Colorado is a no fault state so even though she is the one causing this whole bin of shit, she still gets what she wants and half of everything.
Divorce laws are really fucked up.
A couple of weeks ago I found out that my oldest boy is walking down this path.
She is the one that started whoring around and it took my boy a while to learn of it. Colorado is a no fault state so even though she is the one causing this whole bin of shit, she still gets what she wants and half of everything.
Divorce laws are really fucked up.
I’ve got a buddy that is twice divorced from the same woman.......once he finally came to his senses, he adopted the approach of renting, not buying. Me ? Been married for thirty five years, doubt it’s going to go sideways now, or in the future.
The financial rewards of a divorce suck. I choose to look at my divorces as financial investments. Though expensive, I have a piece of paper saying in don't have to deal with my ex anymore. Well worth the price and heartache. Good luck to you my friend!
As I posted above, my son is starting down this path of divorce with his "wife" now and it is not going to be good by any means.
All along from the time they first got together I was trying to tell him he was dealing with a rattlesnake and GTFO and questioned him as to what he saw in this bitch? yet he didn't listen to me and was "in love' and she was good yada yada and Old Pa didn't know shit.
Now her true colors are showing out and Old Pa is now brilliant and,"I wished I had listened to you back then."
I am going to try and "walk point" on this deal and still at the same time cover his six. It will not be easy as her family has lots of money and can get lawyers, but they know she is the one who has been committing adultery for years and fucked this relationship up and lied to all involved, including them.
I am not rich by any means but I will put forth the money and effort that I can muster to help my Son out.
I hope to hire Tooth and Fang Esq. to deal with this cunt. FM
All along from the time they first got together I was trying to tell him he was dealing with a rattlesnake and GTFO and questioned him as to what he saw in this bitch? yet he didn't listen to me and was "in love' and she was good yada yada and Old Pa didn't know shit.
Now her true colors are showing out and Old Pa is now brilliant and,"I wished I had listened to you back then."
I am going to try and "walk point" on this deal and still at the same time cover his six. It will not be easy as her family has lots of money and can get lawyers, but they know she is the one who has been committing adultery for years and fucked this relationship up and lied to all involved, including them.
I am not rich by any means but I will put forth the money and effort that I can muster to help my Son out.
I hope to hire Tooth and Fang Esq. to deal with this cunt. FM
Hi Mike,
Respectfully, best of luck to you and your son ! You're a great Dad for watching his six. The sooner he is out of that relationship, the better. Make sure he lies low for a while and doesn't do the "divorce rebound" right back into another bad situation.
Bogey,
You're not failing at anything. You mean a lot to a lot of people here on the Hide. Oftentimes, a person doesn't hear that often enough, hence is not able to receive the comfort that knowledge brings. We don't really know each other, but I have seen many, many posts, both from you and about you, from other Hide Members. I have to assume you have been communicating off line with them. If not, I encourage you to do so. If you'd like, PM me. I'd be more than happy to chat.
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Oh man, I feel for him. WA sounds similar, it's a "community property" state. If we hadn't come to an agreement it would have ended with all the assets being either sold and divvied up or audited and divided in kind and cash (this would be after court time and so lawyer costs change from $3500+ to $14,000+) OR if I hadn't had a lawyer, it would have ended with me defaulting and her getting everything she asked for.
Color me stupid, but I always thought marriage was something adults did when they figured out they were done "looking". Whatever you wanna call it. But turns out, it's just a way for the girlfriend to walk away with your shit after she decides she wants to "break up" because that's exactly how it was handled, mine anyway, like a fucking teenage breakup only with lawyers. Sucks being alone, hard to miss not being respected.
Sometimes I think the ideal situation is a big, nice "group home" (read: mansion) shared by a group of guys with common interests, which would include hired maids and hired ass. It has all the perks of marriage and none of the downfalls.
I see you on here all the time too brother and yes, you certainly do have stuff to offer. I'm glad you're on here. And yeah, I feel EXACTLY what you are going through. I'm mostly an introvert and it's hard for me to start things but if you PM me or leave a number and wanna talk I'll get back to you. We obviously share quite a bit in common now! If you were military then even more so!
But the feeling, yeah, I get it. What I try to do is just not think about it, dwelling on it or trying make sense of it doesn't work. In a way, I was already moving on before I ever got the lawyer. I have to admit it's been emotionally easier than, say, losing my grandmother. But it's not been a walk in the park.
If you have your health, the biggest thing is to just dive back into your hobby. Let it consume your for a while. For me it's a bit harder right now with some of the disabilities but I still don't give up. And PM me if you get down or just wanna BS, send me your number.
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