Maggie’s Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

[runningwithscissors]

I hoped to start a thread on the best or worst sex you've ever had..hence the topic title
My best was a few months back..I came armed with candles galore,a special playlist, garter, 6 inch stilettos, lace leggings and all...
Now mind you I've had my share of size and nationality..even the one I sent out for a sex toy only for him to return with a penis pump!! Wow right?

But this guy, few months back...he knew his shit...I orgasmed 3 times before the clothes came off.....after at least 12 orgasms, we stopped for dinner, I put my little black dress on, we drove had a great Italian dinner, and then back for 5 more straight hours.. We slept for an hour then went skydiving 13000 ft. a few hours later.
He told me next time forget the candles,playlist and lace stockings...
Keywords are
case of water, subs and a trenchcoat with nothing on.... Save time and get straight to work....I definately needed a chiropractor after that 12 hr ordeal

 

[Trigger Monkey]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

At least four people's heads just exploded....

 

[sniper307]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

holy holy holy. i agree Trigger Monkey

pics or it didnt happen. lol

 

[shankster..]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: runningwithscissor</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I hoped to start a thread on the best or worst sex you've ever had..hence the topic title
My best was a few months back..I came armed with candles galore,a special playlist, garter, 6 inch stilettos, lace leggings and all...
Now mind you I've had my share of size and nationality..even the one I sent out for a sex toy only for him to return with a penis pump!! Wow right?

But this guy, few months back...he knew his shit...I orgasmed 3 times before the clothes came off.....after at least 12 orgasms, we stopped for dinner, I put my little black dress on, we drove had a great Italian dinner, and then back for 5 more straight hours.. We slept for an hour then went skydiving 13000 ft. a few hours later.
He told me next time forget the candles,playlist and lace stockings...
Keywords are
case of water, subs and a trenchcoat with nothing on.... Save time and get straight to work....I definately needed a chiropractor after that 12 hr ordeal

</div></div>

 

[Sportin Wood]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

How bout some pics of OP??

 

[aloreman]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

I had sex with a girl that was so bad I faked an orgasm and told her i had to work early and she needed to leave. It would have been better had she just layed there. The worst part was that she was trying

 

[79_z28]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

somthing just exploded i dont know about my head

 

[runningwithscissors]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

as requested

 

[Sportin Wood]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

I likey ^^

 

[spiralseal]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

Running.....you left some details out of the night....how you almost slammed into the guardrail for what reason was that again?

 

[runningwithscissors]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

well,well,well Spiralseal..you found me! hahahaha...I'll let you use that pic for your hot gf thread

 

[shankster..]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: runningwithscissor</div><div class="ubbcode-body">as requested

</div></div>

scissors, why is your photobucket account named spiralseal?

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w39/spiralseal/100MEDIA95IMAG1373.jpg

Is there something you two aren't telling us?

 

[runningwithscissors]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

no comment

 

[MarkinAZ]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

THAT is impressive.

Although being a mere mortal, there is no way in hell that I could keep up with that.

 

[runningwithscissors]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

Come on guys...I went first, wana hear your stories...the good,bad and ugly women

 

[50calibercruiser]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: shankster</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: runningwithscissor</div><div class="ubbcode-body">as requested

</div></div>

scissors, why is your photobucket account named spiralseal?

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w39/spiralseal/100MEDIA95IMAG1373.jpg

Is there something you two aren't telling us? </div></div>

Don't fuck with shank... he always digs a little deeper.

 

[shankster..]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: runningwithscissor</div><div class="ubbcode-body">no comment </div></div>

It sounds like you need to finish your story.

 

[runningwithscissors]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

since I'm new to this site Shankster, I'm not quite sure what we r allowed to say...while I usually write in graphic detail, I will just play it safe tonight...more interested in everyone's else's story right now

 

[shankster..]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: runningwithscissor</div><div class="ubbcode-body">since I'm new to this site Shankster, <span style="font-weight: bold">I'm not quite sure what we r allowed to say...while I usually write in graphic detail, I will just play it safe tonight.</span>..more interested in everyone's else's story right now

</div></div>

LOL. That's the only reason I can't brag as well. At least admit you're shagging spiralseal.

 

[runningwithscissors]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

It's not what you hear or see but what you can prove

 

[runningwithscissors]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

How bout that 49rs Ravens game Sunday???

 

[Sportin Wood]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

How bout more pics??

 

[redirt78]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

This thread blows. Stories of bad sex, one decent pic that leaves you guessing and half stories of some other dude getting some good for twelve hours. Haha, carry on though

 

[Beepy]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

Pics or it didn't happen...

 

[Longshotbill:)]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

Good story I'm thinking the blondie with the fakies that's on her way over should be fun, the red head with the reals was fun last night and the other blond should be this week sometime if schedules work out. No face pics they say... And the vids are a little off the hook

(and would get me banned as fuck!!) Blondie #1 just showed, bye.

 

[shankster..]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mcgruber</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Good story I'm thinking the blondie with the fakies that's on her way over should be fun, the red head with the reals was fun last night and the other blond should be this week sometime if schedules work out. No face pics they say... And the vids are a little off the hook

(and would get me banned as fuck!!) Blondie #1 just showed, bye.

</div></div>

<span style="font-weight: bold">Try to find one without a penis and get back to us.</span>

 

[old95b10]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

Sad thing is, most that would post a story it would likely be just that. A bad letter to penthouse or hustlers forum or something made up from 20 different porn films they watched over the weekend.
I liked your idea, keep pushing these folks.

 

[runningwithscissors]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: old95b10</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Sad thing is, most that would post a story it would likely be just that. A bad letter to penthouse or hustlers forum or something made up from 20 different porn films they watched over the weekend.
I liked your idea, keep pushing these folks. </div></div>

THANK YOU!! you got it...no names or faces....just great reads,not made up shit....some of my best convos w guys and girls alike were bragging bout the good ones, and laughing over the god awful ones!! I'll keep tryin,thought it would help if I jumped first

 

[runningwithscissors]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: runningwithscissor</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: old95b10</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Sad thing is, most that would post a story it would likely be just that. A bad letter to penthouse or hustlers forum or something made up from 20 different porn films they watched over the weekend.
I liked your idea, keep pushing these folks. </div></div>

THANK YOU!! you got it...no names or faces....just great reads,not made up shit....some of my best convos w guys and girls alike were bragging bout the good ones, and laughing over the god awful ones!! I'll keep tryin,thought it would help if I jumped first </div></div>

speaking of porn
porn before sex is like watching food network before cooking

 

[runningwithscissors]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sportin' wood</div><div class="ubbcode-body">How bout more pics??

</div></div>
I would, I'm still tryin to figure how to post em???? that's why I called in backup last night

 

[runningwithscissors]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: aloreman</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I had sex with a girl that was so bad I faked an orgasm and told her i had to work early and she needed to leave. It would have been better had she just layed there. The worst part was that she was trying </div></div>

I hear ya..done this far too many times as well...you get good at moaning tho

 

[old95b10]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

Yes,the best is the real for sure. Even if its bad or just funny.
I hate to hear a big bunch of shit I know is just someone stroking their own ego.
Never made the food network and porn connection but I have to admit it is VERY accurate. I will use that for sure.( but not here ).

 

[old95b10]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

Here is a real one.
Had been seeing a young lady a bit. Knew she had a boyfriend but that had nothing to do with our relationship.
Got to meet him at a party one night. While we were talking someone brought up the group thing. She said she was into it and he said he was also. I figured why not. A little bit into this her boyfriend backed off and said he couldn't do it, he was having E.D. issues. I still remember my words to him. Goddamn son get out of the way. He stood in the doorway watching. I waited to be shot or stabbed the whole time. This never happened thank God. We finished up and I turned to him and asked if he was gonna at least go get a towel for her to clean up. I shit you not he walked to the bathroom and came back with a towel! Yes I left as soon as I could. And yes they broke up within days.
Its funny to me now. Probably still not to him.
Have I done bad things? Yes.
Am I sorry? Hell no.
Their you go. who's next?

 

[runningwithscissors]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: old95b10</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Here is a real one.
Had been seeing a young lady a bit. Knew she had a boyfriend but that had nothing to do with our relationship.
Got to meet him at a party one night. While we were talking someone brought up the group thing. She said she was into it and he said he was also. I figured why not. A little bit into this her boyfriend backed off and said he couldn't do it, he was having E.D. issues. I still remember my words to him. Goddamn son get out of the way. He stood in the doorway watching. I waited to be shot or stabbed the whole time. This never happened thank God. We finished up and I turned to him and asked if he was gonna at least go get a towel for her to clean up. I shit you not he walked to the bathroom and came back with a towel! Yes I left as soon as I could. And yes they broke up within days.
Its funny to me now. Probably still not to him.
Have I done bad things? Yes.
Am I sorry? Hell no.
Their you go. who's next? </div></div>

Holy Shit!!!! He went and got the towel????????! sounds like somethin my ex would have done...lol..notice my EX!!! Thanks for sharing

 

[old95b10]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

Your welcome.
I hope it takes off.

 

[xs hedspace]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

Picked up a decent looking chick at a Friday disco back in the 70's, wound up at her place, a hippie shack in the woods. She says God told her she would meet The Right Guy tonight. "When was that?" "I talked to Him just this afternoon!" "Uhhh, I left something in the car, I'll be right back." Zoomed out of her driveway, don't look back.
Remember, don't screw anybody crazier than you are.

 

[runningwithscissors]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: xs hedspace</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Picked up a decent looking chick at a Friday disco back in the 70's, wound up at her place, a hippie shack in the woods. She says God told her she would meet The Right Guy tonight. "When was that?" "I talked to Him just this afternoon!" "Uhhh, I left something in the car, I'll be right back." Zoomed out of her driveway, don't look back.
Remember, don't screw anybody crazier than you are. </div></div>

LMAO!!!!!!!!!

 

[spiralseal]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: old95b10</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Here is a real one.
Had been seeing a young lady a bit. Knew she had a boyfriend but that had nothing to do with our relationship.
Got to meet him at a party one night. While we were talking someone brought up the group thing. She said she was into it and he said he was also. I figured why not. A little bit into this her boyfriend backed off and said he couldn't do it, he was having E.D. issues. I still remember my words to him. Goddamn son get out of the way. He stood in the doorway watching. I waited to be shot or stabbed the whole time. This never happened thank God. We finished up and I turned to him and asked if he was gonna at least go get a towel for her to clean up. I shit you not he walked to the bathroom and came back with a towel! Yes I left as soon as I could. And yes they broke up within days.
Its funny to me now. Probably still not to him.
Have I done bad things? Yes.
Am I sorry? Hell no.
Their you go. who's next? </div></div>

its like easting too much chocolate..tastes really good, but you know you will feel like shit the next day...but it is oh so worth it......

 

[runningwithscissors]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

These are for sportin wood...welcome

 

[NorthernBorn]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

LZX now has a concubine!!!

 

[Mike]

Re: Tales from the Crypt ( last nights sex)

So spiralseal and runningwithscissor comes from the same computer. Why in the world do we need this bullshit on a shooting site?