The Joys of a Take-charge Spouse

[Rthur]

Known as a dutch oven around these parts...

R

 

[Veer_G]

I can't believe this thread made two pages. Who in the hell started it?

 

[CMH]

Noise was a factor. I think she was intimidated by setting it up, and didn't want me to have to lift a finger, since this was purely her shit show. Outside of running the generator, the only options were to pitch everything, or ice it down.

"When you pay the electric bill, you get a vote on the generator situation."

 

[Strykervet]

I've been wife-less for almost a year now and while ending a marriage isn't easy, I have to say the dog and cat don't get me nearly as wound up as she did over indolence and defending indolent behavior. Shit costs more now but that'll only be temporary.

But I can't see how you don't have a generator, hell, power went off for the first time this fall/winter the other day at 1. They said they'd have it back on by 4. I actually went out and started to drag the generator out and unspool the cable. Then got lazy and said "fuck it, it's just another hour or two, I'll take a nap with the dog". Shit was actually back on by 3. Helps having a neighbor that's a skilled lineman with his own truck! If it affects us, he just goes and fixes it himself.

It'd be pretty hard to get the power shut off here. Hell, I go months sometimes before they read the meter; it's in the garage and they can't get to it. They work with me though and all has been well. Usually they just charge me what they charged me same month last year and when they finally do read the meter, they just adjust it. I think you have to have lived at that address for a year or more for them to do that, but hey, gotta admit it's nice.

 

[Veer_G]

I've been wife-less for almost a year now ...

Yep. Somehow, I remember this. I'm glad for your peace.

But I can't see how you don't have a generator, hell, power went off for the first time this fall/winter the other day at 1.

We have a generator. I wasn't allowed to touch it. Read back through the saga.

I think you have to have lived at that address for a year or more for them to do that, but hey, gotta admit it's nice.

It's been since April that we closed, not quite long enough to become a local yet.

 

[Deleted member 10043]

In their defense we were never their first choice to begin with.

 

[Deleted member 10043]

The fuckers cut the power without a phone call? Do you buy power from a co-op or big power company?

Drive by Veer's house and it will be evident they don't use the front door, the doorbell probably doesn't work because their is just a couple of wires where it used to be. But somebody didn't notify the light company that they self terminated the land line on record.

 

[Veer_G]

Drive by Veer's house and it will be evident they don't use the front door, the doorbell probably doesn't work because their is just a couple of wires where it used to be. But somebody didn't notify the light company that they self terminated the land line on record.

I got a Ring v.2, bitch. And it's there are, you, you ... SICILIAN!

 

[Tazman]

We have a 27K whole house generator. It was a great investment....our power use to go out all the time in storms but since we put in the generator they must have upgraded the power grid because it rarely if ever goes out.

 

[FS1]

I can't believe this thread made two pages. Who in the hell started it?

Some guy who don't pay his power bill.

 

[Veer_G]

I am not rising to the bait, I am not ...

 

[SuckitTrebek]

I married mine early. 22 years old. I knew how good she was and didn’t want some random guy at college to figure out what I already knew. I was not wrong. I picked right the first time and have been spoiled ever since. Threads like this only validate my choice I made 19 years ago....

Hard to know what's out there when you never really were. Not by age 22 anyhow.

And all the geniuses wonder why the divorce rate is so high in your first enlistment. I'd say because at 22 you are still dumb as fuck.

 

[MtnCreek]

I am not rising to the bait, I am not ...

If you run out of people's names to put the power under, let me know and you can use mine. Should be worth at least five weeks worth of power.

I've had the sat tv cut off two or three times. My wife has been at war with them for years. She'll call to cancel, get the rate cut by about fifty bucks. This has gone on so long they've started screwing with her and will cut the tv off till she calls to complain. I think it's funny.

 

[MtnCreek]

Hard to know what's out there when you never really were. Not by age 22 anyhow.

And all the geniuses wonder why the divorce rate is so high in your first enlistment. I'd say because at 22 you are still dumb as fuck.

Folks used to get married a lot sooner than that and didn't have any problems staying married. Maybe all the getting out there they do now before getting married doesn't help.

 

[Veer_G]

If you run out of people's names to put the power under, let me know and you can use mine. Should be worth at least five weeks worth of power.

I've had the sat tv cut off two or three times. My wife has been at war with them for years. She'll call to cancel, get the rate cut by about fifty bucks. This has gone on so long they've started screwing with her and will cut the tv off till she calls to complain. I think it's funny.

I'd hate to put a crimp in your upcoming holiday budget, but thank you all the same.

 

[Bender]

Hard to know what's out there when you never really were. Not by age 22 anyhow.

And all the geniuses wonder why the divorce rate is so high in your first enlistment. I'd say because at 22 you are still dumb as fuck.

Still married retard.

Here is what I care about your opinion.

1.















This pretty much sums it up.

 

[MtnCreek]

I told you not to post my photo! No more Christmas cards for you.

 

[Veer_G]

I told you not to post my photo! No more Christmas cards for you.

Not like I didn't get the message in them. How hard in the hell was it to always come up with ones that had three Magi on the front of them?

 

[W54/XM-388]

Hell, I go months sometimes before they read the meter; it's in the garage and they can't get to it. They work with me though and all has been well. Usually they just charge me what they charged me same month last year and when they finally do read the meter, they just adjust it. I think you have to have lived at that address for a year or more for them to do that, but hey, gotta admit it's nice.

Unfortunately around here they forced everybody into the new "smart" meters so they can know moment by moment how much power you are using. (A great way to spy on people if they ever decide to use it for that).

Reminds me of someone's diary of a trip back to the CCCP in the good old days.. They were asking their host why they could only have like 1 or 2 lights on in the house and couldn't they turn on the lights in the other rooms and such. The answer came back that if they started running a bunch of lights somebody would notice the difference in electricity that month and ask questions.

 

[FS1]

What the fuck are bills??

Those are the things she tells you are the reason you only get $10 allowance a week. Of course all the clothes in her closet are hand me downs from her sister.

 

[Spblademaker]

Those are the things she tells you are the reason you only get $10 allowance a week. Of course all the clothes in her closet are hand me downs from her sister.

??. Seriously. I’m super spoiled. First wife was a total cunt and the courts in NJ helped her lie, steal and suck me dry. Talk to me about false accusations and a prosecutor who refused to go after her, even after perjuring herself on the stand, “because it would keep women who Had true claims from coming forward.” I’ll remeber that quote forever. Finally had the venue moved and one judge beat her lying and stealing ass down. Dr Wife takes very good care of the family, and all my income is disposable. I’m in charge of house upgrades, vacations and spoiling her too. Just got back from Philly to see Maroon 5, for her bday. There is nothing better than a financially and emotionally stable family. ????

...and buying more ammo.

 

[rjacobs]

My fiance cant manage to pay her cell phone bill every month. Its a pre-paid deal. Its her ONLY bill currently...

Needless to say, I will be continuing to pay all the bills once she moves into my house. I mean shit, all my bills are auto pay anyway except one since my local water company cant seem to figure out auto-pay...

 

[SuckitTrebek]

Folks used to get married a lot sooner than that and didn't have any problems staying married. Maybe all the getting out there they do now before getting married doesn't help.

Women also used to not go to college or vote.

haha I'd say that part of the divorce rate is women have far more options these days.

Well that and they can open their own doors

 

[SuckitTrebek]

My fiance cant manage to pay her cell phone bill every month. Its a pre-paid deal. Its her ONLY bill currently...

Needless to say, I will be continuing to pay all the bills once she moves into my house. I mean shit, all my bills are auto pay anyway except one since my local water company cant seem to figure out auto-pay...

Dude really? That is what we call a "red flag"

 

[EddieNFL]

Im gone wifey wont miss a beat save for coming to the realization how much I spent on guns and than pissing on my grave.

If the Colonel, er, wife goes first, I'm screwed.

 

[Threadcutter308]

If the Colonel, er, wife goes first, I'm screwed.

Does she have any close, single, cute girlfriends that you get along with ? (something to consider....... ).

 

[EddieNFL]

Does she have any close, single, cute girlfriends that you get along with ? (something to consider....... ).

The only one I can tolerate is happily married.

 

[Spblademaker]

The only one I can tolerate is happily married.

But can she keep a secret? ?

 

[EddieNFL]

But can she keep a secret? ?

Not even. She's too honest...not devious as you normally expect.

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Alphatreedog]

Reading this thread and more agreement than laughter . I have one of those ; make your own cards , make gifts , cookien tins for Christmas , swim in the creek , herbals for a cold , change a tire , battery , water pump , caries a .45 , tent camping , pine nut baking , I don't need a man types . Yet when our oil burning domestic hot water and baseboard heat furnace went , oh the agony . We have a wood stove for heat and heated pots of water for baths . So while I wasgetting estimates she asked when I thought it would be done I told her I could go another six months as is . Woo effin Hoo . Miss I'm tough as you lost her shit . I'm not a cave man . I can't get the conditioner out of my hair . Do you have any idea how hard it is to shave my legs .
I feel your pain on the princess transformation crap .

 

[W54/XM-388]

Miss I'm tough as you lost her shit . I'm not a cave man . I can't get the conditioner out of my hair . Do you have any idea how hard it is to shave my legs ..

I'm assuming you didn't bother telling her that she should stop shaving as you need the body hair for warmth and friction resistance & probably didn't tell her to just grease up with some fat to keep the heat in for the winter & worry about bathing in the spring?

People used to live in cold climates all over Europe with little heating... however baths during the winter were considered insanity.

 

[Veer_G]

You should have seen the face on mine one evening when we heard this sudden outburst of yips and howls at a distance.

"What is that?"

"Coyotes, sweetie."

"WHAT?!"

"Yes, coyotes."

Never seen her move so fast in twenty-five years.

 

[SuckitTrebek]

Still married retard.

Here is what I care about your opinion.

1.















This pretty much sums it up.

spit that bag of dicks out. couldn't hear you. hahahaha

 

[Bender]

spit that bag of dicks out. couldn't hear you. hahahaha

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

 

[Bender]

Copypasta ftw!

 

[W54/XM-388]

I am trained in gorilla warfare .

Can we have some pictures and videos of this gorilla warfare, I can't find it on the discovery channel.

 

[Threadcutter308]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

paparockscal reincarnate ?......

 

[Spblademaker]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

What the shit?? No Phoenix eye training??

 

[Threadcutter308]

What the shit?? No Phoenix eye training??

i think he ran out of breath........will probably be mentioned in volume 2.......

 

[Veer_G]

What the shit?? No Phoenix eye training??

That Adult Education class was full, evidently.

 

[Spblademaker]

That Adult Education class was full, evidently.

Or he was studying for the Space Force ASVAB.

 

[Threadcutter308]

We have a generator. I wasn't allowed to touch it. Read back through the saga.

WTF ?......."wasn't allowed to touch it"?.......Shit, blowing the jaws off a set of lineman's pliers with 5,000 Amps short circuit current is a man's duty, responsibility and a right of passage. Now get your ass back in there and touch that generator wherever you want. Nut up.

 

[Bender]

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/navy-seal-copypasta

 

[Veer_G]

WTF ?......."wasn't allowed to touch it"?.......Shit, blowing the jaws off a set of lineman's pliers with 5,000 Amps short circuit current is a man's duty, responsibility and a right of passage. Now get your ass back in there and touch that generator wherever you want. Nut up.

I'm saving myself for the low-flow reset on the well intake.

 

[Threadcutter308]

I'm saving myself for the low-flow reset on the well intake.

Oh......now it makes all the sense in the world. Glad I don't have a well.

 

[Alphatreedog]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

I question your integrity . Not one mention of shined velcro sneakers . Your are obviously low speed high drag .

 

[Veer_G]

I question your integrity . Not one mention of shined velcro sneakers . Your are obviously low speed high drag .

In his defense, he doesn't have a wheelbarrow in which to cart around his testicles.

 

[Va_Gentleman]

If you can stomach the pie charts and aggregate expenditure charts of Hers (All Expenditures) vs. His (Guns Only) every year... marry a CPA....

But damn better keep your reciepts!

 

[EddieNFL]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

You won't stand a chance, but bring it on. I was in the Air Force.