The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

[Sean the Nailer]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

Mister Eric,

You've opened up a good thread here. It is filled with various directions, intents and ideas. One other thing to consider in the discussion is this:

Not everybody shoots, but EVERYBODY eats. Most eat meat.

Therefore, discussions that compare "skillet vs. grill" or "salt vs. spice" are even tantamounter to chaos than .45 vs. 9mm.

HA.

In the world of personal preference, there ain't not "hard'n'fast" right OR wrong. The only "Black and White" on this page is the black letters atop the white background. Not every member has access to the same ingredients, appliances, apparatus', or repertory of spices and seasonings.

Therefore, to continue to discuss these fine steaks (preferably enjoyed after a trip to the range) is quite simply a perfect thing. Besides, one has to have a meal before enjoying the "Apple Pie" of Americanian Lore, right?

So relax, don't take things to heart, and realize that one day you'll be making steaks just as perfect as me. Once you finish learning.

Doubt HA. And yeah, that oughta get things started. I'm still waiting for experienced folk to talk more about this "himalayin' salt" cooking.

 

[High Binder]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sean the Nailer</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I'm still waiting for experienced folk to talk more about this "himalayin' salt" cooking.
</div></div>

The salt is actually not used in the cooking process at all. Rather it's used in the aging process where the meat takes on characteristics of the room it's aging in. Ever notice how foods in your refrigerator take on flavors and smells of other foods in your fridge? Like a strawberry taking on a fishy flavor from the fish a shelf away. The same thing happens with salts such as the aforementioned due to the various minerals (impurities) and the like in the salt.

Now you don't cook a steak on a salt block like the pic below is showing so don't do that but here's a pic of a salt block that you would line an aging room with.

 

[EricCartmann]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sean the Nailer</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Mister Eric,

You've opened up a good thread here. It is filled with various directions, intents and ideas. One other thing to consider in the discussion is this:

Not everybody shoots, but EVERYBODY eats. Most eat meat.

Therefore, discussions that compare "skillet vs. grill" or "salt vs. spice" are even tantamounter to chaos than .45 vs. 9mm.

HA.

In the world of personal preference, there ain't not "hard'n'fast" right OR wrong. The only "Black and White" on this page is the black letters atop the white background. Not every member has access to the same ingredients, appliances, apparatus', or repertory of spices and seasonings.

Therefore, to continue to discuss these fine steaks (preferably enjoyed after a trip to the range) is quite simply a perfect thing. Besides, one has to have a meal before enjoying the "Apple Pie" of Americanian Lore, right?

So relax, don't take things to heart, and realize that one day you'll be making steaks just as perfect as me. Once you finish learning.

Doubt HA. And yeah, that oughta get things started. I'm still waiting for experienced folk to talk more about this "himalayin' salt" cooking.
</div></div>

Yeah I need to relax, but at the same time I enjoy the smack talk back and forth... and don't think I have NOT learned a lot in this thread.. because I have!

 

[slowkota]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Lofty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">In my experience you want salt on the outside to pull moisture out. Its only going to dehydrate the surface, not the whole steak. </div></div>

Try this... Blot dry a room temp steak, its dry right? Then put some salty stuff on it and wait a few minutes... Got wet looking again didn't it?
I agree, you need the surface dry to get a nice crust, thats why you blot dry with a paper towel and hold off on the seasoning until right before you drop it in the pan or on the grill.

Something I've heard, but haven't done is sticking a steak in the freezer for a little while before you grill it... Helps dry the surface, and allows a longer cook time to char and get crusty on the outside without over-cooking the middle.

 

[steelman303]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: steelman303</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Steak is ment for a grill, beef tips & gravy are ment for a skillet....I'm sure if you don't have access to a grill, it could be considered acceptable, but WTF. </div></div>

I know I am not going to convince you Obama voters otherwise.

I use to think that way too, but then I turned 11 and realized better. With a rare steak, how you cook the outside is not as important as how long it's cooked for. I would not say a skillet is better for all, just better for me. I like the flavor of the EVOO and butter and steak juices in the pan. It is a settle flavor, not over powering, and enhances the flavor of the rare cooked meat.

</div></div>

HAAA!!
please don't confuse me with one of those left wing wack-jobs....
There's just an added flavor given by good charcoal (or fresh wood coals) that you just can't douplicate with a pan.
I've cooked them in cast iron on rainy days. My preference is over live coals.
Actually picking up a half cow middle of next month.
The cousins in PA are having two steers butchered & are bringing it down here to Atlanta.
"organic" grass fed.
Although I wish they would get with a brewery & get some of the leftovers from the brewing process to feed the animals.
Now that would be Awseome !

 

[Tucsondave]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

Plane ticket to NY, reservation at Peter Lugers. Order Porterhouse med rare. Eat, FTMFW!!!!!

 

[EricCartmann]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: steelman303</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: steelman303</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Steak is ment for a grill, beef tips & gravy are ment for a skillet....I'm sure if you don't have access to a grill, it could be considered acceptable, but WTF. </div></div>

I know I am not going to convince you Obama voters otherwise.

I use to think that way too, but then I turned 11 and realized better. With a rare steak, how you cook the outside is not as important as how long it's cooked for. I would not say a skillet is better for all, just better for me. I like the flavor of the EVOO and butter and steak juices in the pan. It is a settle flavor, not over powering, and enhances the flavor of the rare cooked meat.

</div></div>

HAAA!!
please don't confuse me with one of those left wing wack-jobs....
There's just an added flavor given by good charcoal (or fresh wood coals) that you just can't douplicate with a pan.
I've cooked them in cast iron on rainy days. My preference is over live coals.
Actually picking up a half cow middle of next month.
The cousins in PA are having two steers butchered & are bringing it down here to Atlanta.
"organic" grass fed.
Although I wish they would get with a brewery & get some of the leftovers from the brewing process to feed the animals.
Now that would be Awseome ! </div></div>

Like I said, you are set in your charcoal ways. It's not my turn to convince you otherwise so I won't bother.

For everyone else, please consider it. http://www.yesyoucangrill.com/castirongrilling.php

 

[steelman303]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: steelman303</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: steelman303</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Steak is ment for a grill, beef tips & gravy are ment for a skillet....I'm sure if you don't have access to a grill, it could be considered acceptable, but WTF. </div></div>

I know I am not going to convince you Obama voters otherwise.

I use to think that way too, but then I turned 11 and realized better. With a rare steak, how you cook the outside is not as important as how long it's cooked for. I would not say a skillet is better for all, just better for me. I like the flavor of the EVOO and butter and steak juices in the pan. It is a settle flavor, not over powering, and enhances the flavor of the rare cooked meat.

</div></div>

HAAA!!
please don't confuse me with one of those left wing wack-jobs....
There's just an added flavor given by good charcoal (or fresh wood coals) that you just can't douplicate with a pan.
I've cooked them in cast iron on rainy days. My preference is over live coals.
Actually picking up a half cow middle of next month.
The cousins in PA are having two steers butchered & are bringing it down here to Atlanta.
"organic" grass fed.
Although I wish they would get with a brewery & get some of the leftovers from the brewing process to feed the animals.
Now that would be Awseome ! </div></div>

Like I said, you are set in your charcoal ways. It's not my turn to convince you otherwise so I won't bother.

For everyone else, please consider it. http://www.yesyoucangrill.com/castirongrilling.php </div></div>

I like Dave's idea....
let's just meet up for steaks & beers at Peter Lugers & let them cook it for us.
Heck,
My wife's been wanting to go back for a visit anyway...

 

[EricCartmann]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

"My Perfect Steak-- Cartmann Style" only discussed the perfect temp, and for store bought choice cut steaks (Walmart, Vons, Costco, etc).

But like others have said here, the real quality of steak is in the aging process, which is something I know nothing about or even attempt to do... it's pretty complicated, but this article here simplifies it: http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section...&id=6779163

 

[EricCartmann]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

This is here is a view FROM the patio at Gibson's Steak House, HQ of the Viagra Triangle, in the Near North Side Chicago. Some say they make some of the best steaks in the country. There is also a Morton's and Ruth Chris's within only a couple of hundred feet of this place, not to mention many other great restaurants in this area. To me it is the best food area in the world that I have personally experienced.

Viagra Triangle (From Urban Dictionary):

A sub set of the "Rush Street" nightlife district on Chicago's Near North Side. So named for the abundance of mostly-affluent older men who frequent the local bars, and the "triangle" where State and Rush Streets come together (with East Bellevue Street being the base of the triangle, anchored by Gibson's restaurant, the unofficial headquarters).

The gentle ecosystem of the Viagra Triangle could not exist without a fully-stocked pond of anxious, and artificially infertile females. Seven years prior she may have been called a "Trixie" in and around Lincoln Park, but with an East Bank membership, a Platinum card of her own, and several upgrades to the base Lexus, she is looking for more, while her looks and latest Botox treatment hold out).

Though, claimed as fact in other definitions, it is extremely rare to see participants in the Viagra Triangle scene parking their behinds, much less their Flying Spurs and 911s, anywhere south of Oak Street or North of Cedar. The important, and notable exception is when the bars in the triangle close, and he has not yet sealed the deal. In such cases, overtime must be played at The Lodge on Division Street, which is open til every bit of 4AM during the week and 5AM on the weekends ("if three bottles of Cristal have not done the job, maybe a few PBRs will," is the thinking).

Seriously, guy, you're never going to get anywhere with the chicks in the Viagra Triangle, they all require a personal financial statement before sitting down.

 

[Jethro3898]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tucson Dave</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Plane ticket to NY, reservation at Peter Lugers. Order Porterhouse med rare. Eat, FTMFW!!!!! </div></div>

This man knoweth the truth!

 

[Switchblade]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

I would never drink bourbon with my steak. Bourbon is best served AFTER the steak with a fine cigar. The proper beverage to serve with a great steak is of course, in preference order, a Jack London Zinfandel or Cabernet, or a Seven Deadly Zins Zinfandel.
For desert a nice Ruby Porto with figs stuffed with pecan and Stilton Bleu cheese drizzled with honey is appropriate, but a six layer Guinness Chocolate Cake is also nice with that porto.
The proper finish of say a Rittenhouse Rye 23, a Stagg's, or a Pappy van 15 and a nice cigar are typical around here on occasion.

Cooking a steak:
I take oak, apple, adn maple wood chunks, light up natural charcoal unitl it's scrreaming, flamin hot. I then put the wood chunks on it and let those get a good burn going. Once the entire coal bed is super heated adn teh woods are burning equally with teh coals, I spread them out and lay a grate directly on them...heat is somewhere north of 1200*+ I lay the steaks right on the grate and wait until I smell cooked meat. Turn it over and heat until I smell it and that, my friends is a perfect steak done rare...a little more heat and MR is fine. The last really truly good steaks here were done that way, but upon turning had a mounted butter with gorgonzola, bleu cheeses and ported duxelles. THAT was phenominal, I mean, heaven on the plate, like dude, this steak is meant for the Gods good!(several holy shits, oh my gods, man you went over the top with this were heard that day)
The plan for the next one is bone in rib steaks. I am still trying to figure out the mounted butter for those that will go over the top and make the NY cuts a thing of the past

 

[t185]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

I thought cooking was for the women folk in the house.

 

[Sean the Nailer]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

Yeah, there's many imbecile's who think that way. Or don't think, for that matter.

 

[hankpac]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

Walmart? Meat from Walmart?
I am all for saving a buck now and then, same as the next guy, but meat from Walmart is injected with water. For weight, I guess.
I buy most of my meat from a small meat locker here in town, or split a beef with a couple of friends, and get it cut up at the same locker. My freezer is half full of beef and half venison (elk and deer).
as too cooking, there are enough ideas in this thread to try several versions, however I just prefer to NOT cook in a skillet. Sorry.Not saying you are wrong, just my preference.

 

[Switchblade]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: T185</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I thought cooking was for the women folk in the house. </div></div>

Hopefully you will choke on the next female chef's food when you go out because it's overly salted from that time of the month when her taste buds as well as the rest of her body is way out of whack

The experience I have gained since my AA Culinary Arts degree in foods from the world can either make you wonder what heaven it comes from, or swell your insides to a condition known as Anaphylactic Shock because I knew what you were allergic to in just the right amount.
I prefer the former as it is so much more fun and the plates always bring on the wonderment of those who they are in front of. It's a skill set I am certain you will never be able to accumulate due to your closed minded lack of imagination, and lack of culinary ability or ability to recognize what constitutes good food.
Now go sit down in the corner with your dunce cap on and let the rest of the big people get on with the business of discussing what a truly great steak is.

 

[Switchblade]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

hankpac,
try mixing a cup of orange juice, the zest of one orange(one orange has both), 1/2c cranberry juice(not cocktail), 1/4t salt, 1/4t pepper, 1/2t(1T fresh) thyme, 2T chopped onion, 1T chopped garlic
Make 2x the above amount and split it in half. Take the first half, put about 1 - 2 pounds of grillable venison in a zip lock bag, then add the first half of the marinade to it. Let it sit for about four hours, turning four times.
Take a good heavy bottom pot, and put a half bottle of Merlot(whatever you would drink, not the crap you find on the bottom shelf) and reduce it to 1/4. Add the leftover marinade to this, and reduce to 1/2(about 1/2c). Remove from heat, and add a half cube of butter, cut in thin slices to this. Stir to incorporate. Pour over grilled venison

The plate and other stuff:

Get a box of polenta, it's like grits but bigger, and tastes better. Cook this with half chicken stock and water, salt and pepper, and a splash of that wine.
Saute some thin sliced carrots in a little butter. Add salt and pepper to taste, then drizzle a bit of maple syrup over them.

Put a scoop of polenta on one edge of the plate. Set a pair of the grilled pieces of venison on it and spoon some carrots around the right side toward the front. Spoon the mounted sauce over the meat and polenta, and garnish with a twist of orange and a few fresh cranberries.
You want panties to drop?
Get some red, orange, and yellow Nasturtiums(edible flowers). Take one each and make a small bouquet to the left of the venison. Chop the petals of three flowers into small pieces(3/16") and garnish the whole plate with this 'confetti'

 

[t185]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Switchblade</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: T185</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I thought cooking was for the women folk in the house. </div></div>

Hopefully you will choke on the next female chef's food when you go out because it's overly salted from that time of the month when her taste buds as well as the rest of her body is way out of whack

The experience I have gained since my AA Culinary Arts degree in foods from the world can either make you wonder what heaven it comes from, or swell your insides to a condition known as Anaphylactic Shock because I knew what you were allergic to in just the right amount.
I prefer the former as it is so much more fun and the plates always bring on the wonderment of those who they are in front of. It's a skill set I am certain you will never be able to accumulate due to your closed minded lack of imagination, and lack of culinary ability or ability to recognize what constitutes good food.
Now go sit down in the corner with your dunce cap on and let the rest of the big people get on with the business of discussing what a truly great steak is. </div></div>

Lighten up...

Sarcasm
is "a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter jibe or taunt",[1] usually conveyed through irony or understatement.[2] Most authorities distinguish sarcasm from irony;[3] however, others argue that sarcasm may or often does involve irony[4] or employs ambivalence

 

[Switchblade]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

Sarcasm convey's so well when you cannot see the smile, right?


As to 'perfect steaks'
They are not found in Walmart. I think they even mark up sub choice as choice, because that beef has so much of what's wrong in a steak it can't be prime or choice.
Kroger has choice meat, and offers Angus as well..it's pretty tasty for storebought. Publix is a step up and has both choice and prime for sale. Their prime is quite good, but not perfect.
The butcher. Now there is the place to go buy meat when you are looking for good, hand select stuff. They even do a passable job of wet and dry aging, but nowhere near the salt blocked walls or racking of the real deal guys who sell to Ruth Chris, Peter Lugar, or the House of Prime Rib in SF, et al.
You want every day, really tasty, good, easy to cook beef? Go find a Tri-Tip. THAT is some damn good meat. I buy mine by the half case from a butcher shop in KY...when Panty 6 gets hungry for it. A simple covering of HAwaiian red Alea, a nice hot fire, and man, let it sit for ten minutes after, slice it just right, and it is always gone, no leftovers. London Broil, Chateu Brion, always leftover to be hashed up with leftover potatoes, eggs and cheese the next morning.
If I want to pay top dollar for a meal that has the pricing of a great steak, but the sides have trailer quality, I hit up The Canyon House. It's a pretty good steak house but, they need to step up the sides. I mean really, a quartered piece of Romaine or Iceberg...that is a place solely reserved for a wedge of Bibb(Boston) for the nice chunky bleu cheese. I mean, come on chef, at least give me some lionnaise potatoes or garlic mash with that well aged steak, I mean dude, you ar etotally MISSING it!

 

[armorpl8chikn]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Switchblade</div><div class="ubbcode-body">hankpac,
try mixing a cup of orange juice, the zest of one orange(one orange has both), 1/2c cranberry juice(not cocktail), 1/4t salt, 1/4t pepper, 1/2t(1T fresh) thyme, 2T chopped onion, 1T chopped garlic
Make 2x the above amount and split it in half. Take the first half, put about 1 - 2 pounds of grillable venison in a zip lock bag, then add the first half of the marinade to it. Let it sit for about four hours, turning four times.
Take a good heavy bottom pot, and put a half bottle of Merlot(whatever you would drink, not the crap you find on the bottom shelf) and reduce it to 1/4. Add the leftover marinade to this, and reduce to 1/2(about 1/2c). Remove from heat, and add a half cube of butter, cut in thin slices to this. Stir to incorporate. Pour over grilled venison

The plate and other stuff:

Get a box of polenta, it's like grits but bigger, and tastes better. Cook this with half chicken stock and water, salt and pepper, and a splash of that wine.
Saute some thin sliced carrots in a little butter. Add salt and pepper to taste, then drizzle a bit of maple syrup over them.

Put a scoop of polenta on one edge of the plate. Set a pair of the grilled pieces of venison on it and spoon some carrots around the right side toward the front. Spoon the mounted sauce over the meat and polenta, and garnish with a twist of orange and a few fresh cranberries.
You want panties to drop?
Get some red, orange, and yellow Nasturtiums(edible flowers). Take one each and make a small bouquet to the left of the venison. Chop the petals of three flowers into small pieces(3/16") and garnish the whole plate with this 'confetti' </div></div>

How would this work if I substitute one large opossum for the venison? Just joking around Switch.

 

[armorpl8chikn]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

And can I substitute Thunderbird for the Merlot?

 

[EricCartmann]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: armorpl8chikn</div><div class="ubbcode-body">And can I substitute Thunderbird for the Merlot? </div></div>

I like Woodbridge Cab for practice wine. $11 for 1.5 Liters.

 

[Veer_G]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: armorpl8chikn</div><div class="ubbcode-body">And can I substitute Thunderbird for the Merlot? </div></div>

Just ask ol' Jimmy!

<object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0xY7mBQrzXU"></param> <param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0xY7mBQrzXU" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"> </embed></object>

 

[armorpl8chikn]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

I make my own wine so I am not a wine connosie..conosu..I am not a wine snob. A friend says I judge my vintage by the month...also not true. I have some 2009 blackberry stuck back for a rainy day and that one is in high demand, but I love it too much to drink or give away. It is true that half of it never made it past 6 months old

My children will inherit a liquid treasure.

 

[grkmec]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

For those that want to try something a little different - Marinade your steak in soy sauce and Montreal steak seasoning while it warms up to room temperature

 

[armorpl8chikn]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: grkmec</div><div class="ubbcode-body">For those that want to try something a little different - Marinade your steak in soy sauce and Montreal steak seasoning while it warms up to room temperature </div></div>

No offense, marinating in Thunderbird will yeild better results. Soy sauce? really?

 

[EricCartmann]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

Marinade a quality cut steak like a Ribeye? I mean really?

 

[Maggot]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: armorpl8chikn</div><div class="ubbcode-body">And can I substitute Thunderbird for the Merlot? </div></div>
Why substitute? Go to Whole Foods Market and buy the Three Wishes Cabernet Sauvignon...Under $3.00 per bottle if you buy a case, and its really a good red wine.

 

[EricCartmann]

Re: The Perfect Steak - Cartmann Style

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: maggot</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: armorpl8chikn</div><div class="ubbcode-body">And can I substitute Thunderbird for the Merlot? </div></div>
Why substitute? Go to Whole Foods Market and buy the Three Wishes Cabernet Sauvignon...Under $3.00 per bottle if you buy a case, and its really a good red wine. </div></div>

In!