> THE TOP 31 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
>
> 31. When I retire, I'm movin' north.
>
> 30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
>
> 29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
>
> 28. Duct tape won't fix that.
>
> 27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken
>
> 26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
>
> 25. You can't feed that to the dog.
>
> 24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
>
> 23. Wrestling is fake.
>
> 22. We're vegetarians.
>
> 21. Do you think my gut is too big?
>
> 20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
>
> 19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
>
> 18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
>
> 17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
>
> 16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
>
> 15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
>
> 14. Trim the fat off that steak.
>
> 13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
>
> 12. The tires on that truck are too big.
>
> 11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.
>
> 10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
>
> 9. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
>
> 8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
>
> 7. Checkmate
>
> 6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
>
> 5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
>
> 4. I don't have a favorite college team.
>
> 3. You Guys.
>
> 2. Those shorts really ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.
>
> AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
> 1. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving!
>
> 31. When I retire, I'm movin' north.
>
> 30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
>
> 29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
>
> 28. Duct tape won't fix that.
>
> 27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken
>
> 26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
>
> 25. You can't feed that to the dog.
>
> 24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
>
> 23. Wrestling is fake.
>
> 22. We're vegetarians.
>
> 21. Do you think my gut is too big?
>
> 20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
>
> 19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
>
> 18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
>
> 17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
>
> 16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
>
> 15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
>
> 14. Trim the fat off that steak.
>
> 13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
>
> 12. The tires on that truck are too big.
>
> 11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.
>
> 10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
>
> 9. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
>
> 8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
>
> 7. Checkmate
>
> 6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
>
> 5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
>
> 4. I don't have a favorite college team.
>
> 3. You Guys.
>
> 2. Those shorts really ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.
>
> AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
> 1. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving!