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VJJ - I summon you!

I saw something in a chart at work about a guy who lost his fleshlight, stole a minimag in a truckstop shower room, and was in the middle of a surgery to have it removed (either from in an orifice or used for it's orifice, not sure) and having multiple facial fractures repaired after being caught by a trucker with an empty Cordura tactical holster for his minimag light.
 
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Summon the foul beast!
 

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VJJ is being held captive in a cave by two lesbians dwarfs. A rescue team was sent in and VJJ was taking 1200 yard shots at them. Apparently he does not want to be rescued. :)
 
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