We Need Your Prayers
- Thread starter Veer_G
- Start date
Dealt with this somewhat recently, good luck.
Capitalize on the moments of lucidity for they may have to last you a life time.
Prayers sent.
R
Capitalize on the moments of lucidity for they may have to last you a life time.
Prayers sent.
R
0300. We're in the ER with Mom.
Dang it Veer. Prayers for you Dad, and now your Mom, and prayers for strength for you and family to get through this ok.
Three hours sleep. Dad's getting a pacemaker, evidently, today even. Mom's got soft tissue injuries and a nasty-ass hematoma from the MVA. I tore the shit out of the resident's asshole just now, which was fun, because he's Spanish-speaking.
Crappy situation Veer, but glad to hear things are moving in the right direction, it sounds like. Prayers sent!
Dad's awake, cranky, and arguing with Mom, i.e., everything is back to normal. Now, the Rocky and Bullwinkle magic pull a rabbit outta my ass trick is to get them home and then find a way to convince them that they need some sort of an assisted living situation. More puzzles, which by His grace we shall solve.
you know the best, but...
dont ask them to do that until, its really time.
let them enjoy the golden years, as long as its safe of course
dont ask them to do that until, its really time.
let them enjoy the golden years, as long as its safe of course
Veer;
It's a long tough road, but if they are behaving like cats and dogs (traditional behavior) , everything is getting back to normal
I've woken up in the hospital, due to diverticulitus, only to find my wife ragging on me......my response ?......the big fu. Yes, goddamit, I want Best Foods f'ing MAYONNAISE on my sandwich that I only eat twice a year ! That was five years ago. We're going to celebrate 35 years of marriage on 1/1/19 and love/appreciate each other more than we ever have in the past.....the ragging is a good, healthy sign. Never occurred to me that at any point in my life I would say/think that.....but, it is reality. She has my blessing to get a Guatemalan pool boy (or two) for company after I am gone.......I plan on going first......Let her deal with the ATF trust paperwork.......screw that, I'll be outa' here. She knows my Trust Lawyers name/address/phone number
Couldn't be happier hearing this. Some semblance of normalcy comes your and your's way! OUTSTANDING.
Get some deserved rest Brother and we'll hear from ya.
Get some deserved rest Brother and we'll hear from ya.
Glad to hear things are returning to normal.
Good luck getting dad/mom agreeing to assisted living. Grandma refused for years (died in her house 18 months ago).
Also my wife has been trying for 4 years for her parents. Her father has had 2 major stokes, multiple minor stokes, also he just got out of the hospital from emergency surgery on his gallbladder. He is about 2 steps away from a vegetable and he absolutely refuses. He is wearing my mother in-law out but she refuses also. Old people are just plain stubborn. Hard as hell to take someone's home away if they are not willing.
Seems like everyone says in their 50's " i dont want to be a burden" but 20 years later they dont seem to mind.
Just saw this bro, hoping it all works out. Health scares are the worst, been there, done that too many times. My mom is checking into the hospital tonight for a heart cath. tomorrow --so I know how you feel. She's really all I have now and I'm 1000 miles away.
I hope you get more rest and they feel better too. Good he's got his pacemaker now though because now you won't have to worry about problems in the middle of the night.
FWIW, pacemakers have come a long way and the first person to have one was born in 1915 and died in 2001 and had the pacemaker since 1958 (though he went through a few of those gen.1 models!). My neighbor had one for twenty or more years.
I hope you get more rest and they feel better too. Good he's got his pacemaker now though because now you won't have to worry about problems in the middle of the night.
FWIW, pacemakers have come a long way and the first person to have one was born in 1915 and died in 2001 and had the pacemaker since 1958 (though he went through a few of those gen.1 models!). My neighbor had one for twenty or more years.
It'd be different if we all lived in the same county, or at least in contiguous ones, and I had enough health left to burn, but 17 years of early-diagnosis heart failure earned me my own pacemaker/defibrillator in 2014. As it is, I got days where just walking about does me in. I can't move back, or at least we can't move back and earn a living, and the only way in which I can contribute is to bring them closer. But, of course, one wants to cling to the familiar, drawing the will to live from it. Most likely one or both will only be going in horizontal fashion.
FWIW. Im sure youve come to this but when my folks hit about 70 I had a realization that sooner or later their day to leave this world would arrive,,,prepare for it. From then on I lived with that realization and when the day(s) came I was ready.
Secondly, if theyre is any way to get them to assisted living, do it. Mom made her own decision after dad died and honestly I never saw her happier. Like all the stress of having to keep up the house etc. was gone. She was surrounded by those her own age with similar experience. They made the mistake of having my grandparents come to live with us. That didnt go well and they told me to never do it with them. Your experience may vary but be wise in your decision(s).
Blessings and good luck sent from Virginia.
They have commercials here about wartime Vets and their spouses being eligible for 20 hours of VA provided assisted living at their home. Next time I hear about it I'll try to write the program name down. Commercial is for a company to do the paperwork for you, but I bet a Veteran's affairs officer can help as well. Question is, will Dad entertain the idea?
EXACTLY!!! If only I or my wife could convince my mother in-law.
@Veer_G I hate when people tell me "you could have" or "you should have" or "you should...." So dont take the following in that way. Only you know your situation.
We (myself and my wife) feel that being only about 5 miles away enables her parents to lean on us and their other daughter. That if there were a 100 miles or more seperation the burden would be "real" and understood. As it is now mother in-law calls us before 911.
Happen last month about noon, and about 3:00am a year or so. "We will be right there, call 911" was answered with "it only takes you 7 minutes (not at 3am fuck i am in bed) I will wait for you, see what you think"
To which I said "it is 3am your not calling to wish me a happy birthday, call 911"
In the end she is worried about bothering 911 AND what the neighbors will think.
Grandma (passed) and grandpa (92 still here) are different. They woven from a different cloth. Grandpa was helping frame houses/sheds in his 70's. They are do-ers and dont want nothing from no one. I can respect that.
Anyway, the point in my experience is that the distance may help make the decision if you can not be there on a moments notice. But who wants to turn their back on family.
Sorry for rambling, I feel your pain. Prayers still coming.
Valve replacements are a pretty common surgery now a days with a pretty high success rate, so that bodes well. I hope it all goes smoothly veer and will send prayers your way.
I just had to do this myself, I'm not that well off anymore either. What you need to do is go to your VA doctor and tell them you need help and the doctor will have the form to fill out. I didn't even have to ask, I guess I'm fucked up enough they figured it out. I can't even admit that to myself. I took that form to American Legion but had to just drop it off because the guy that handles my case wasn't there (and I forgot to call Tuesday). There's another form YOU are supposed to fill out that allows a family member to be the caregiver and I understand it pays UP TO $2500 per month. That's if you have a family member that can do it.
(If you are interested and need the numbers on these forms or anything, PM me, I'd be glad to dig it up for you)
If your folks could get this, and you were present to interview and audit the caregiver (and personally I'd install a few hidden cameras, just in case, trust but verify, yeah?) you could rest well knowing they are being taken care of and not burning up more of their candle than they can spare. Not pushing it when they don't have to. I'm aging much faster than the average bear due to burning my candle at both ends and I can attest that pushing it to get things done when you don't have the gas only hurts you worse in the long run.
That's the hard part --it's hard to ask for help. It's hard to give up your life because of health or age or circumstance and sometimes you need help admitting that. I think you'll have a better chance at getting them to take help than anyone else will though.
Hang in there man, sounds like we're in similar boats.
Veer, I have been down this road once and have to do it again, and again. It is a rough row to hoe.
Don't get too stressed out yourself, take timeouts.
Now, No BS, can you tell me if I need to keep wrapping my head with a bath towel when I go in the backyard to pray for You?
My neighbors wonder too, but I told them I been hoping the prayers go to the right place, so this is my way of making sure they do.
They think they understand, but wonder?, I hope it helps them.
On second thought, I will keep the towel and use it.
Let God sort it out. Regards, Foul Mike
Don't get too stressed out yourself, take timeouts.
Now, No BS, can you tell me if I need to keep wrapping my head with a bath towel when I go in the backyard to pray for You?
My neighbors wonder too, but I told them I been hoping the prayers go to the right place, so this is my way of making sure they do.
They think they understand, but wonder?, I hope it helps them.
On second thought, I will keep the towel and use it.
Let God sort it out. Regards, Foul Mike
There's a difference between smartass cocksuckers and smartass cocksuckers who swallow.
Not meant to offend you Veer.
I meant it to let you know I am praying for you and to give you a little humor during these difficult times.
Sorry if you took it wrong. FM
I meant it to let you know I am praying for you and to give you a little humor during these difficult times.
Sorry if you took it wrong. FM
