So I just found out another of my family has cancer. Seems like more and more people I know are getting cancer. This is something that's been on my mind for a while so I have done a couple of things. First is make a living will and a trust. Second was to purchase life and cancer insurance. I have all my bases covered I was thinking about what I would do if I found out my illness was terminal. If I had a good chance of survival I would do treatment. If they gave me x amount of time to live I think I would just sell off my stuff and take my kit and a string of horses off into the Rockies to die someplace in peace.
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what would you do if you found out you had cancer?
- Thread starter Smcarroll
- Start date
Well there is a lot to be said for that. Lets hope you live a long life.
My mother just died of cancer. She went through my dad, her sister, her best friend, and her best friends husband dieing of cancer.
I think she knew she had cancer. She didn't tell anyone. When the pain came and she went to the hospitol. She only lived 7 days.
You should be where you can get help when the pain comes. And medical people will kill you with morphine.
My mother just died of cancer. She went through my dad, her sister, her best friend, and her best friends husband dieing of cancer.
I think she knew she had cancer. She didn't tell anyone. When the pain came and she went to the hospitol. She only lived 7 days.
You should be where you can get help when the pain comes. And medical people will kill you with morphine.
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I was with my grandma when she died of leukemia. I have seen what it's like. My main concern is my life insurance not paying out if I go off somewhere to die.
Go to MD Anderson Hospital in Houston, TX and get their expertise advice and care. Went through this with my daughter and that place was amazing and as far as I am concerned they saved her life.
If it was a bad diagnosis for me - then the long hike into the woods sounds like what I would do.
If it was a bad diagnosis for me - then the long hike into the woods sounds like what I would do.
Don't wait until you have cancer to start living a good and full life. You're only going to get one shot at this one.
Just so you know, the medical pros won't "kill you" with morphine, but they will help take the pain, and the terror that comes with it, to a level you can deal with and be able to say your goodbyes in peace.
Just so you know, the medical pros won't "kill you" with morphine, but they will help take the pain, and the terror that comes with it, to a level you can deal with and be able to say your goodbyes in peace.
I watched both of my parents succumb to cancer. I felt at the the time, that if it happened to me I would take the long walk into the woods. That was before I had children of my own. Now my priorities have changed. Perhaps the greatest lesson my Mother taught me, was how to live, and die, with dignity. That is now my motivation, to pass these lessons on to my children
In peace like my grandma? Shitting and raving? Nah I will say my goodbyes before that.
Ya, I chose to fight like my Mother and Father who also passed due to cancer. Had the Prostate removed and follow up treatment is still an option if needed. I too, as many of us, have thought about the lone boat ride or long walk in the woods. Priorities change over time. When you're really faced with it you'll see it's not so easy to just say screw it. We're programmed to survive, and survive I will.
Make your choice and live with it, hopefully.
Make your choice and live with it, hopefully.
I wouldn't change a single thing about my life until the pain prevented me from living my life the way I do. Too many cancer patients "give up". I myself will NEVER be one of those who gives up if I had cancer.
Well said, Maser. There is a time that you know that you know. When I reach that time I hope I have enough wherewithal to enjoy the morphine til it doesn't help then go park behind the mortuary, eat a pill (45 ACP), and say "Goodnight, sweet prince."...Or maybe that should be "Goodnight sweet Maggot."
We found out in 2004 my wife had cancer. She and I had been married for 39 wonderful years before she went ahead of me on July 24th of last year. Neither of us ever gave up the fight and she and I got to enjoy our grandson together for his first 6 years by never quitting. She passed away at home at 1907 hrs with our children and grand child at her side. I can still recall her grip on my hand as our eyes meet the final time, it reminded us both of when we first met and all the living/things we had done together,...
Now,... if I ever found out my fate was sealed and there was nothing to lose, I would try to make a difference for and on the behalf of others, before I was unable to task out. My final days will not be spent in a nursing home or confined to a bed at home. The only thing people remember about you after your gone, is your deeds and what you stood for.
Man can do nothing to a dying man except what kill him sooner,... No one gets out alive, no one,...
Now,... if I ever found out my fate was sealed and there was nothing to lose, I would try to make a difference for and on the behalf of others, before I was unable to task out. My final days will not be spent in a nursing home or confined to a bed at home. The only thing people remember about you after your gone, is your deeds and what you stood for.
Man can do nothing to a dying man except what kill him sooner,... No one gets out alive, no one,...
Prayers to all who have been affected. When one person gets the diagnosis - the whole family gets the disease.
To answer your question directly and as someone mentioned above...Go to MD Anderson. Significant advances in therapies that do not involve Chemotherapy and have much better long term outlooks have arrived. Examples: Immunotherapy based on genomic profiling, Chimeric Antigen Receptor for patient specific T Cell manipulations and others are no longer theories but see clinical applications and are changing lives.
If your cancer has a terminal trajectory, well, that's a tough deal, so why not enter a clinical trial as a last act of giving/caring for others so that physicians and scientist can learn from your bodies reaction to a particular treatment which may pave new ground for the next generation that battle cancer.
Deeply personal choices. I respect whatever path a person chooses.
To answer your question directly and as someone mentioned above...Go to MD Anderson. Significant advances in therapies that do not involve Chemotherapy and have much better long term outlooks have arrived. Examples: Immunotherapy based on genomic profiling, Chimeric Antigen Receptor for patient specific T Cell manipulations and others are no longer theories but see clinical applications and are changing lives.
If your cancer has a terminal trajectory, well, that's a tough deal, so why not enter a clinical trial as a last act of giving/caring for others so that physicians and scientist can learn from your bodies reaction to a particular treatment which may pave new ground for the next generation that battle cancer.
Deeply personal choices. I respect whatever path a person chooses.
This was her/our choice as well and for many years we had the peaks and valleys, but others have and will benefit from her and others like her. I won't go into detail but there was a drug that had no side effects and worked perfect, but it was pulled from trials over the very, very deep objections of everyone on it and their researchers in the US. Follow the money,...
Check your policy. This is generally not true. Suicide during your probational period nullifies the policy but after that it is usually covered. I used to work for New York Life and still hold an insurance license. This is one of the most common misconceptions about life insurance out there.
I have a friend that was diagnosed terminal 2 months ago. I had coffee with him and others 5 days a week until his diagnosis. He joins us 3-4 times a month. I would have to say his intestinal fortitude is inspiring. It would be great to see him prove them wrong. June has come so fast.
I find myself reflecting on the important things in his presence.
R
I find myself reflecting on the important things in his presence.
R
If it was treatable I would fight like hell to have every minute with my kids that I could. A good friend of mine works at a cancer hospital and I hear the stories, if the cancer was terminal I would probably get a wing suit and save the weight of a parachute to get a better ride.
You do not have to commit suicide. When the end comes hospice will give you enough morphine to send you to the after life.
And for a Christian like me. I don't think you go to heaven when you kill yourself.
And for a Christian like me. I don't think you go to heaven when you kill yourself.
What's the difference between a 45 acp to the dome and a nurse giving you an overdose of morphine? I am not a Christian, I don't worry about those matters so if my pain ever gets to that level I am taking the easy way out.
Possibly a bit of a waste.... a person who no longer worries about avoiding death can accomplish much with their death.
Man, I just went through this shit - diagnosed in Feb, had kidney and tumour out in April. But I think deployment fatigue in the 2000s made the life changing anxiety a cancer diagnosis seem kind of "eh, oh well just another thing to deal with." I'm still waiting to find out what, if any, follow-on treatment is required but honestly it had more of an affect on my family than on me it seemed.
This is something that's been on my mind a lot as well. If you knew that no matter what you did you were going to die soon, what would you do to make it mean something?
I truly am sorry for your loss, and her pain. My experiences with loved ones passing have not been that way.
It's trite but we all started dying the moment we got here. Instead of thinking of what your last act will be. Think about what your next act will be. Better to go out saying "I,m glad I did that" rather than "I wish I'd done that."
"2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Manchu"
"2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Manchu"
My mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2011 and after treatment was considered cancer free for about two years. She just started chemo again because a few tumors came back. Hoping and praying she can beat it, she's fighting the best she can.
My son's Father in Law had severe abdominal pain for a long time, but just went with it until Easter, when it got so bad he couldn't ignore it. A trip to the doctor, some scans, second opinion led to a diagnosis of advanced liver cancer. He has refused any treatment except pain control.
We had a get-together Saturday for him. Just a chance for all to say their goodbyes.
He is confident in his faith, and only worries about getting his affairs in order.
I admire his manner of facing death, and hope that I can do as well if I find myself in the same situation.
My brother in law died in December in the same manner, after six years of tortuous chemo. The treatment almost killed him.
The fact that we knew in advance of his impending death did little to lessen the grief, but being able to say our good byes did.
Quarter Horse, I agree with you. Good advice.
We had a get-together Saturday for him. Just a chance for all to say their goodbyes.
He is confident in his faith, and only worries about getting his affairs in order.
I admire his manner of facing death, and hope that I can do as well if I find myself in the same situation.
My brother in law died in December in the same manner, after six years of tortuous chemo. The treatment almost killed him.
The fact that we knew in advance of his impending death did little to lessen the grief, but being able to say our good byes did.
Quarter Horse, I agree with you. Good advice.
My uncle had severe abdominal pain for years, he finally went in and they gave him 6 months. If he had went in earlier he might have had a chance. I wont ever go out like that, lying in a bed surrounded by weeping women.
Cancer is not my BIG! fear. It's not having the opertunity to properly say good by to the ones I love. I have several friends and acquaintances that have died very abruptly. One was in a car accident and his 9 year old was in the car and watched him die. Another went on vacation with his family an had an anurisum while snorkeling. At least with cancer you have the opertunity to say good by and make sure nothing Is left un said or un finished.
While the breaking bad, Walter white scenario sounds fun and exciting I don't think that I would want to end up in hell if there is one. I do think I would head to the bad part of town and pick up enough heroine to leave this world painlessly and on my terms. When the time comes of corse. Walking into the woods is not an option for me I have way to many people I care about. My version of a successful life is how many people you have with you in the end not how big my bank account is
While the breaking bad, Walter white scenario sounds fun and exciting I don't think that I would want to end up in hell if there is one. I do think I would head to the bad part of town and pick up enough heroine to leave this world painlessly and on my terms. When the time comes of corse. Walking into the woods is not an option for me I have way to many people I care about. My version of a successful life is how many people you have with you in the end not how big my bank account is
I know what I'd do because I already did it, twice. Mixed cell Lymphoma, 1992, Radiotherapy; Hodgkin's Lymphoma, 1997, Chemotherapy. There was more after that, but that's a story for another day.
The diagnosis was terrifying, especially the second time. The terror literally takes over. You hear nothing, you see nothing, your mind runs at 200% plus velocity until it wears a deep trench in your consciousness.
You come out of it eventually, different. If you're smart, you devote your entire attention to your family and your caregivers, and for a crucial while, the caregivers take precedence. They must.
Forget sugar coatings. There are three ways to kill off Cancer. Cut it out, burn it out, poison it out. Anybody who tries to sell you something else is purveying snake oil.
Lymphoma is slow. It seems that they are dragging their feet about getting your show onto the road. They are not. They are sizing up the opponent in detail, and crafting their campaign to save your life.
When it starts, it's like, "Well that didn't seem like much...". Two weeks later, you are wondering when, not if, this shit is gonna kill you.
Remember that campaign I mentioned? Well, the basic tenet is they will take it as close to killing you as they can, without actually killing you; because anything less, and the Cancer wins. You go all Nancy Boy and throw in the towel, the Cancer wins. Somebody dozes during the execution of the campaign, the cancer wins.
Believe me, as bad as it seems, the Cancer is FAR worse. Then, when they tell you the treatment is done, you continue to feel worse. Like the cat, you will use up several lifetimes in the year or so you are in active treatment and evaluation.
Then, you start to actually recover. It's a slow, steep road, and/but it leads uphill. This is when the commitment you need to have makes all the real difference. Otherwise, the Cancer still wins, because you allow it to rob you of so much of your capacity to 'be normal'. If you stay with it, make bodybuilding (not Arnold, think about a wiry Pele) the key core sector of you existence, in the five years of so afterward that it takes to get your 'real normal' back; then Cancer finally gets that kick in its face. Consider how I felt when I got there, and the whole thing just started up all over again, five more years and all, and my only Daughter engaged to be married.
As we'd sit in our recliners, arranged in a circle, getting our chemo, we'd make the kinds of friends one normally only finds in foxholes. Only these friends tend to die in a lot more in number, slowly before our eyes, knowing the whole time what's going on.
Think about suicide? You betcha. I have personally stared down that unlit railroad tunnel that is a loaded 45acp, repeatedly. In the end, I decided that this was one scene I was not going to paint, literally on the ceiling, of my family's psyche. When I tell folks I won't have a handgun in my home, this is the real reason.
In return, I have danced at my Daughter's wedding (twice, actually), gotten to meet my three Grandchildren, and will witness my Eldest Granddaughter's graduation from High School in a month's time. In July, Celia and I are 44 years married.
Suicide?
Man, would that have been the most abysmally stupid thing I could have ever done. It's off the menu. period.
Was it easy? Of course not. Was it easier because of my experiences in Parris Island and RVN? You betcha, probably would have flaked out and stepped off the merry go round in mid ride. Character counts. So does absolutely refusing to allow such disappointments to convert me into an invalid.
People ask me how I could face this life. Actually, this question is meaningless to me; this is how my life has shaken out. I know no other; this is my 'normal'. Do I like it? I sure do now, although there were some times when I liked it less.
There are no beds of roses.
So if anybody tells you that you have The Crab, keep listening; they have more to say and it's literally the difference between your life and your death. The treatments have become less harsh in the past two decades, and the survival rates are FAR better now. If they give you a better than 30% chance of coming out of it alive, take that chance!!!
Unpleasant? To me the most unpleasant thing I have ever had to do is change a crappy diaper. Cancer isn't even second on my list. If I have to get into the ring for a third bout, I'm leaping, not crawling, into it.
If I lose, at least I gave The Crab a run for its latest meal.
...And look at how much exquisite joy I got to experience along the way.
Hell, If I had thrown in the towel either time, I would never have lived to post on this site. That's got to be worth something for somebody.
Greg
The diagnosis was terrifying, especially the second time. The terror literally takes over. You hear nothing, you see nothing, your mind runs at 200% plus velocity until it wears a deep trench in your consciousness.
You come out of it eventually, different. If you're smart, you devote your entire attention to your family and your caregivers, and for a crucial while, the caregivers take precedence. They must.
Forget sugar coatings. There are three ways to kill off Cancer. Cut it out, burn it out, poison it out. Anybody who tries to sell you something else is purveying snake oil.
Lymphoma is slow. It seems that they are dragging their feet about getting your show onto the road. They are not. They are sizing up the opponent in detail, and crafting their campaign to save your life.
When it starts, it's like, "Well that didn't seem like much...". Two weeks later, you are wondering when, not if, this shit is gonna kill you.
Remember that campaign I mentioned? Well, the basic tenet is they will take it as close to killing you as they can, without actually killing you; because anything less, and the Cancer wins. You go all Nancy Boy and throw in the towel, the Cancer wins. Somebody dozes during the execution of the campaign, the cancer wins.
Believe me, as bad as it seems, the Cancer is FAR worse. Then, when they tell you the treatment is done, you continue to feel worse. Like the cat, you will use up several lifetimes in the year or so you are in active treatment and evaluation.
Then, you start to actually recover. It's a slow, steep road, and/but it leads uphill. This is when the commitment you need to have makes all the real difference. Otherwise, the Cancer still wins, because you allow it to rob you of so much of your capacity to 'be normal'. If you stay with it, make bodybuilding (not Arnold, think about a wiry Pele) the key core sector of you existence, in the five years of so afterward that it takes to get your 'real normal' back; then Cancer finally gets that kick in its face. Consider how I felt when I got there, and the whole thing just started up all over again, five more years and all, and my only Daughter engaged to be married.
As we'd sit in our recliners, arranged in a circle, getting our chemo, we'd make the kinds of friends one normally only finds in foxholes. Only these friends tend to die in a lot more in number, slowly before our eyes, knowing the whole time what's going on.
Think about suicide? You betcha. I have personally stared down that unlit railroad tunnel that is a loaded 45acp, repeatedly. In the end, I decided that this was one scene I was not going to paint, literally on the ceiling, of my family's psyche. When I tell folks I won't have a handgun in my home, this is the real reason.
In return, I have danced at my Daughter's wedding (twice, actually), gotten to meet my three Grandchildren, and will witness my Eldest Granddaughter's graduation from High School in a month's time. In July, Celia and I are 44 years married.
Suicide?
Man, would that have been the most abysmally stupid thing I could have ever done. It's off the menu. period.
Was it easy? Of course not. Was it easier because of my experiences in Parris Island and RVN? You betcha, probably would have flaked out and stepped off the merry go round in mid ride. Character counts. So does absolutely refusing to allow such disappointments to convert me into an invalid.
People ask me how I could face this life. Actually, this question is meaningless to me; this is how my life has shaken out. I know no other; this is my 'normal'. Do I like it? I sure do now, although there were some times when I liked it less.
There are no beds of roses.
So if anybody tells you that you have The Crab, keep listening; they have more to say and it's literally the difference between your life and your death. The treatments have become less harsh in the past two decades, and the survival rates are FAR better now. If they give you a better than 30% chance of coming out of it alive, take that chance!!!
Unpleasant? To me the most unpleasant thing I have ever had to do is change a crappy diaper. Cancer isn't even second on my list. If I have to get into the ring for a third bout, I'm leaping, not crawling, into it.
If I lose, at least I gave The Crab a run for its latest meal.
...And look at how much exquisite joy I got to experience along the way.
Hell, If I had thrown in the towel either time, I would never have lived to post on this site. That's got to be worth something for somebody.
Greg
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"Philosophy itself is but a meditation upon death. We live our entire lives to do it well but once."
Baltasar Gracian
Baltasar Gracian
We are each, the sum of our experiences. To Greg - you expressed this very eloquently. Thank you.
Greg, you absolutely nailed it ! Kudos to you sir. To you and to all concerned, fight on. We obviously didn't choose this path but it is before us. What separates us at this point is how we choose to travel it.
I love my friends quote who is succumbing to colon cancer, but battling like hell. "I'm gonna be the fittest Son of a Bitch ever to die". Totally full of piss and vinegar and constantly exercising even when he doesn't feel like it. Lot's of moxy.
I love my friends quote who is succumbing to colon cancer, but battling like hell. "I'm gonna be the fittest Son of a Bitch ever to die". Totally full of piss and vinegar and constantly exercising even when he doesn't feel like it. Lot's of moxy.
Found out at 28 I had lymphatic cancer. I just felt with it. Wife at the time couldn't and left. Glad she did, whore. It sucks but its just another thing in the path of life. I'm 40 now so I guess I'm g2g. I hope everyone effected by this finds their own way through it.
