Why men shouldn't write advice columns

[RebelYell]

Dear John,
I hope you can help me.The other day , I set off for work,leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car stalled , and then it broke down about a mile down the road,and I had to walk back to get my husband's help. When I got home,I couldn't believe my eyes.He was in our bedroom with the neighbor's daughter!
I am 32,my husband is 34 and the neighbor's daughter is 19. We have been married for 10 years. When I confronted him , he broke down and admitted they had been having an affair for the past six months. He won't go to counselling , and I'm afraid I am afraid I'm a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help!
Sincerely ,
Sheila



Dear Sheila,
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solve the problem, It could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
I hope this helps,
John

 

[Intrepid4576]

Re: Why men shouldn't write advice columns

now thats funny right there

 

[The Mechanic]

Re: Why men shouldn't write advice columns

This is still the all time epic advise column.
http://www.jeepforum.com/forum/f11/96-jeep-cherokee-need-opinions-1149721/

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> So, my boyfriend bought a '96 Cherokee (XJ) SE, for way too much, like around $3,000. It broke down and he has put another $2,500 in it and totally rebuilt the engine and did a lot of after market work on it. He has and will do all the labor himself, he refuses to pay for labor. Now, he finds out that the motor needs to be taken back out and fixed again and is looking at another $700. I said he should just sell it and wipe his hands clean, he says he won't make enough.

Firstly, what is your guys' opinion on what he should do? Secondly, how much do you think he could make parting it versus just the whole car as is?

Thanks for your guys' opinions!

</div></div>

And the answer

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> You want my opinion? Ok…

Shut the hell up. You’re not his wife. You’re not paying for the repairs. It’s absolutely none of your business what he does with his Jeep or his money. I know your type well… first it’s “Sell the Jeep because it’s costing too much money.” Then it’s “No, you can’t go spend the weekend with your buddies because I need you to take me shopping.” Then it’s “Oh gee, honey… I’m pregnant. Gosh, I have no idea how that happened.”

You’re a DreamKiller. You kill a guy’s dreams, take away his future, tie him down with a fat mortgage and too many babies, and turn him into just another miserable guy wondering, “How the hell did I get here?”

Do you really want to help him? Here’s what you do… go to your local library (it’s a big building with books inside) and check out a couple of books on rebuilding engines. Read them, over and over, until YOU understand what needs to be done. Then help him get that engine out and rebuild it. Tie your hair back in a ponytail, put on some old jeans and get your hands dirty. Hand him wrenches, hold the light, pull the wire connectors apart, help him get the hood off… help him with anything he needs. When he gets tired, run inside and make him a hot lunch or dinner. Fix him coffee, hot chocolate, whatever he wants. (But NO beer. Beer is for when the job is done.)

Then when the day is over and you’re both exhausted from working on the engine, push him into a hot shower and jump in with him. Scrub his back, wash his hair, rinse him off, and dry him with fluffy towels still hot from the dryer. Then push him into bed and screw his ears off. Then get up the next day and do it all over again.

Make him realize that rebuilding an engine is a slow and methodical process. Make him realize that every step should be regarded as surgery; every step must be perfect… perfect torque, perfect fit, perfectly clean. If you run into a step that you just can’t figure out, ask for help from someone who knows what he’s doing. Are you cute? Put on a low-cut top, show some cleavage and go (by yourself) to the local Jeep shop, and explain to the guys that you are helping your boyfriend to rebuild his engine and neither of you can figure out this one little step, and do they have any advice…

Think it won’t work? Think again. We guys love to help cute girls, even if they have a boyfriend. (Hey, maybe you’ve got a sister, or girlfriend…)

But absolutely DO NOT whine or complain. Do not say a single negative thing. Not a single “Oooooo, I broke a nail.” If you break a nail, or cut your finger, or bang a knuckle, you just shut up and DEAL WITH IT. You should be a hopelessly optomistic, never-say-die cheerleader, encouraging him every step of the way.

That’s my opinion.</div></div>

 

[gathert]

Re: Why men shouldn't write advice columns

Its gems like these that need to be read about once a month.

 

[338RUM runner]

Re: Why men shouldn't write advice columns

After She gets done with the Jeep send her to my House cuz i need help with my 69 Bronco.

 

[EddieNFL]

Re: Why men shouldn't write advice columns

My wife didn't laugh.

 

[KillShot]

Re: Why men shouldn't write advice columns

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EddieNFL</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My wife didn't laugh.</div></div>


HA HA HA! Don't feel bad because my GF didn't laugh either! LoL

 

[GUNNER75]

Re: Why men shouldn't write advice columns

This is great! Thanks for posting!



<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">This is still the all time epic advise column.
http://www.jeepforum.com/forum/f11/96-jeep-cherokee-need-opinions-1149721/

Quote:
So, my boyfriend bought a '96 Cherokee (XJ) SE, for way too much, like around $3,000. It broke down and he has put another $2,500 in it and totally rebuilt the engine and did a lot of after market work on it. He has and will do all the labor himself, he refuses to pay for labor. Now, he finds out that the motor needs to be taken back out and fixed again and is looking at another $700. I said he should just sell it and wipe his hands clean, he says he won't make enough.

Firstly, what is your guys' opinion on what he should do? Secondly, how much do you think he could make parting it versus just the whole car as is?

Thanks for your guys' opinions!



And the answer

Quote:
You want my opinion? Ok…

Shut the hell up. You’re not his wife. You’re not paying for the repairs. It’s absolutely none of your business what he does with his Jeep or his money. I know your type well… first it’s “Sell the Jeep because it’s costing too much money.” Then it’s “No, you can’t go spend the weekend with your buddies because I need you to take me shopping.” Then it’s “Oh gee, honey… I’m pregnant. Gosh, I have no idea how that happened.”

You’re a DreamKiller. You kill a guy’s dreams, take away his future, tie him down with a fat mortgage and too many babies, and turn him into just another miserable guy wondering, “How the hell did I get here?”

Do you really want to help him? Here’s what you do… go to your local library (it’s a big building with books inside) and check out a couple of books on rebuilding engines. Read them, over and over, until YOU understand what needs to be done. Then help him get that engine out and rebuild it. Tie your hair back in a ponytail, put on some old jeans and get your hands dirty. Hand him wrenches, hold the light, pull the wire connectors apart, help him get the hood off… help him with anything he needs. When he gets tired, run inside and make him a hot lunch or dinner. Fix him coffee, hot chocolate, whatever he wants. (But NO beer. Beer is for when the job is done.)

Then when the day is over and you’re both exhausted from working on the engine, push him into a hot shower and jump in with him. Scrub his back, wash his hair, rinse him off, and dry him with fluffy towels still hot from the dryer. Then push him into bed and screw his ears off. Then get up the next day and do it all over again.

Make him realize that rebuilding an engine is a slow and methodical process. Make him realize that every step should be regarded as surgery; every step must be perfect… perfect torque, perfect fit, perfectly clean. If you run into a step that you just can’t figure out, ask for help from someone who knows what he’s doing. Are you cute? Put on a low-cut top, show some cleavage and go (by yourself) to the local Jeep shop, and explain to the guys that you are helping your boyfriend to rebuild his engine and neither of you can figure out this one little step, and do they have any advice…

Think it won’t work? Think again. We guys love to help cute girls, even if they have a boyfriend. (Hey, maybe you’ve got a sister, or girlfriend…)

But absolutely DO NOT whine or complain. Do not say a single negative thing. Not a single “Oooooo, I broke a nail.” If you break a nail, or cut your finger, or bang a knuckle, you just shut up and DEAL WITH IT. You should be a hopelessly optomistic, never-say-die cheerleader, encouraging him every step of the way.

That’s my opinion.</div></div>

 

[crazybrit]

Re: Why men shouldn't write advice columns

Hey remember ...if a guy asks a girl what's wrong, and the girl says "nothing"....the guy will assume that..."nothing is wrong!"

 

[desertrat1979]

Re: Why men shouldn't write advice columns

During the dating years my wife pulled that crap where she was pissed, something I had apparently done/said or no. Regardless, when I inquired about the issue, she said nothing. This prompted me to explain to her how nothing is defined. Nothing means no negative stressful issues were caused by me, or in some way or form would they include me. Therefore she has one opportunity when I ask, to give the response she will be satisfied with. If she chooses the nothing route then the issue is no longer valid or a concern to me. She can either get over it or address it. At least no I get answers to my questions, and like the reason or not, I have a shot at fixing it. I hate that game they play where they want you to draw it out of them. This increases the drama factor.

 

[nashlaw]

Re: Why men shouldn't write advice columns

Tag

 

[pdogsbeware]

Re: Why men shouldn't write advice columns

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: desertrat1979</div><div class="ubbcode-body">During the dating years my wife pulled that crap where she was pissed, something I had apparently done/said or no. Regardless, when I inquired about the issue, she said nothing. This prompted me to explain to her how nothing is defined. Nothing means no negative stressful issues were caused by me, or in some way or form would they include me. Therefore she has one opportunity when I ask, to give the response she will be satisfied with. If she chooses the nothing route then the issue is no longer valid or a concern to me. She can either get over it or address it. At least no I get answers to my questions, and like the reason or not, I have a shot at fixing it. I hate that game they play where they want you to draw it out of them. This increases the drama factor. </div></div>
I got sick of having to explain that to my wife everytime she tried making something my fault. I actually started writing down the dates she did that shit to me. Pissed her off when I could no longer be held accountable by proof to something I didn't know about because she told me "oh nothing" haha Took her 3 years. YEARS. To realize that she can just come out and say what's bothering her.

I'm not a sexist, but holy bejeezus batman, women can be so freakin retarded. They have no idea how to think rationally. You point out the logic and they completely dismiss it! haha

Sorry to get off track! To the OP, thats pretty funny!