Would Your Wife Even Miss You?

[Arc Light]

https://www.foxnews.com/us/illinois-woman-discovers-dead-husband-closet-months-disappearance

Or would she find you weeks/months later in the closet and say, "Oh, there you are"

 

[Cowpokey]

Mine would notice as soon as the pay checks stopped hitting the bank...so, a few weeks probably, right up until that part she would just figure I was TDY again.

 

[ColinW]

She wouldn't have me to bring in a paycheck and necessary provisions for our two children. So, yeah.....I'd like to think my wife would miss me.

After enjoying a couple days of peace and quiet, that is.

 

[7.62willdo]

Maybe with the first shot but once she dopes the wind properly I’m a dead man……

 

[chevy_man]

Yes, she would have to hire someone to fix stuff.

She could pay the bills by herself, but wouldn't have her travel budget. She'd probably be sad for about a week while she packed up, and she'd be ecstatic when she got to Florida.

She's been trying to get me to move somewhere warm and tropical for a few years. We end up going to Vegas or Florida about 5x a year. I won't give up my snowmobiles and nice weather to live somewhere you have to hide from the heat 11 months a year.

 

[Shooter McGavin]

After the life insurance pays out and she has access to my retirement she would be good, so probably no. She wouldn't miss me unless I ran away with a younger lady and she had none of my income.

 

[hlee]

After the life insurance pays out and she has access to my retirement she would be good, so probably no. She wouldn't miss me unless I ran away with a younger lady and she had none of my income.

Rest assured that if you do run away with a newer model, the lawyers will insure she still has access to your income…

 

[HeavyAssault]

Rest assured that if you do run away with a newer model, the lawyers will insure she still has access to your income…

Please list your attorney so we all don't make that kind of mistake.

 

[Longshot231]

Financial accounts are to women what blood banks are to a vampire.

 

[Srgt. Hulka]

If I disappeared, my wife would be pissed because I'm not feeding the dogs.

 

[Mister Ridge]

Don't know. Haven't met her yet.

 

[101st]

Described as a "horder home" . Place must smell like a shit heap. You mean to tell me she couldn't differentiate the regular house smell to that of a rotting corpse in the closet. She wins the Good House keeping seal of approval for this month.

 

[LuvDog]

I do all the cooking, so yup. My family would know right away

 

[OkieMike]

Maybe with the first shot but once she dopes the wind properly I’m a dead man……

Beat me to it. Lol.

Mike

 

[Threadcutter308]

 

[samadisoulcrusher]

Maybe with the first shot but once she dopes the wind properly I’m a dead man……

 

[JimTN]

Don't know. Haven't met her yet.

No reason to go braggin now.

 

[Maggot]

No wife, no problems, but since the house is paid for and the bills auto debit, I'd be stinking up that closet for a long time.

 

[WaltHer]

Who else would listen to her endless complaining about her co-workers and family for 29 years...? Think I'm good.

 

[cooper barrett]

Not really. We parted ways over 20 years ago.
My ex told me once, during a heated conversation, that she was happier when I was gone on race trips or car buying excursions than when I was home. I asked why she stayed married to me for 18 years? Her response was “ because the sex was so good” I responded “For who?”

She had a day trip planned a few weeks later with a fellow teacher to go to a show in Branson (they took her friends car) and so early that morning a bunch of car buddies packed up almost everything in the 4 bedroom 3 bath house and moved it to a buddies, almost empty, warehouse/ office condominium. Everything of value, jewelry, her Mercedes coupe included, were all stashed safely at the warehouse. There was a bed, a display cabinet, and her clothes left

We all went to eat and drink at a local bbq joint as my phone blew up upon my wife’s arrival back in town, first because none of the credit/debit cards worked, then later..I left town, that evening, to spend a month at Foyt Racing in Indy.

Upon returning, I found out she knew about the PO Box where I had mail forwarded. There was a “You REALLY should talk to your wife letter” from my attorney sent directly to the PO Box. She was apparently ecstatic about the “For Sale” sign the realtor put in the front yard while I was gone.

Do you think she missed me?

 

[Threadcutter308]

Not really. We parted ways over 20 years ago.
My ex told me once, during a heated conversation, that she was happier when I was gone on race trips or car buying excursions than when I was home. I asked why she stayed married to me for 18 years? Her response was “ because the sex was so good” I responded “For who?”

She had a day trip planned a few weeks later with a fellow teacher to go to a show in Branson (they took her friends car) and so early that morning a bunch of car buddies packed up almost everything in the 4 bedroom 3 bath house and moved it to a buddies, almost empty, warehouse/ office condominium. Everything of value, jewelry, her Mercedes coupe included, were all stashed safely at the warehouse. There was a bed, a display cabinet, and her clothes left

We all went to eat and drink at a local bbq joint as my phone blew up upon my wife’s arrival back in town, first because none of the credit/debit cards worked, then later..I left town, that evening, to spend a month at Foyt Racing in Indy.

Upon returning, I found out she knew about the PO Box where I had mail forwarded. There was a “You REALLY should talk to your wife letter” from my attorney sent directly to the PO Box. She was apparently ecstatic about the “For Sale” sign the realtor put in the front yard while I was gone.

Do you think she missed me?

That’s a pretty “funny/not funny/funny” story……

 

[vinniedelpino]

Hot damn…

Something about Peg Bundy gets my noodle going.

 

[cooper barrett]

That’s a pretty “funny/not funny/funny” story……

My buddies tell that story every time we go for a drink. One guy at an upper class joynt said he had never met me before but he had heard the story. He commended me for being able to walk a straight like with such the humongous gonads I must had.

 

[theLBC]

we don't have that many closets.

 

[cooper barrett]

Hot damn…

Something about Peg Bundy gets my noodle going.

Segal looks good at 65, Applegate didn't fare so well

 

[6.5SH]

Segal looks good at 65, Applegate didn't fare so well

Two bouts with cancer and MS took their toll. She was great as Kelly though

 

[armorpl8chikn]

Ok.....
This is just asking for trouble....
But ill post it.

So the asshole that installed my shower pan, didn't put any of that grabby tape in there.
Sure its slick and sure I could have gotten a bath mat, but I'm not some old guy that can't stand up in the shower.

About two weeks ago, I took a major fall in the shower. I'm talking feet go up, I go horizontal for what seems like 15 minutes of slo-mo.
I land the trifecta, tear my head open on faucet, pull groin, break second toe.
( no I wasn't washing my dick hard and fast)
Shower curtain in floor, water going everywhere, I've got soap everywhere. I can hear the dogs raising hell in the living room. I just kinda stay still, cause I've got loose screws....well broken screws in my failed neck fusion, long story, anyway.
I wait. The dogs shut up...I lay there. She will be here in a minute........
I decide I better get this water shut off if it paralyzes me, and get a rag and get the soap out of my eyes. She ain't showed up yet....
I start yelling for her. She finally shows up in a couple minutes.
Are you yelling for me? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!

Oh I'm just testing a theory about taking a bath in a shower pan.

She did finally seem concerned about me, and offered to help me out of the mess.
Fucking depressing.

So yes, I'm sure my wife would find me within a week or two, tops.

 

[Snipe260]

Ok.....
This is just asking for trouble....
But ill post it.

So the asshole that installed my shower pan, didn't put any of that grabby tape in there.
Sure its slick and sure I could have gotten a bath mat, but I'm not some old guy that can't stand up in the shower.

About two weeks ago, I took a major fall in the shower. I'm talking feet go up, I go horizontal for what seems like 15 minutes of slo-mo.
I land the trifecta, tear my head open on faucet, pull groin, break second toe.
( no I wasn't washing my dick hard and fast)
Shower curtain in floor, water going everywhere, I've got soap everywhere. I can hear the dogs raising hell in the living room. I just kinda stay still, cause I've got loose screws....well broken screws in my failed neck fusion, long story, anyway.
I wait. The dogs shut up...I lay there. She will be here in a minute........
I decide I better get this water shut off if it paralyzes me, and get a rag and get the soap out of my eyes. She ain't showed up yet....
I start yelling for her. She finally shows up in a couple minutes.
Are you yelling for me? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!

Oh I'm just testing a theory about taking a bath in a shower pan.

She did finally seem concerned about me, and offered to help me out of the mess.
Fucking depressing.

So yes, I'm sure my wife would find me within a week or two, tops.

Damn chicken. Hope you’re healing up. I fell down the stairs years back when my kids were small. My little toe caught every post all the way down. It was 430 am. Wife came fast and saw me. She said. Thank god, I thought it was one of the kids! No. Mine won’t miss me! And she may find out soon!

 

[Carlos Danger]

"Police conducted a thorough search of the Maedges' residence but could not find Richard."

Must've been a really big house.

 

[Holliday]

Two bouts with cancer and MS took their toll. She was great as Kelly though

Yeah, she drew the short straw for sure.

 

[Milo 2.5]

WTF? Now I have this to think about on top of how many firefights I can survive with no money after the collapse of financial institutions. I'll be vapor locked all day.

 

[Holliday]