Maggie’s Dating site definitions.

Gunfighter14e2

Gunfighter14e2

Hunter/trapper of Remora's
Full Member
Minuteman
Jul 9, 2002
9,881
14,991
Lick skillet Alabama
eham.net
#1
(1) Enjoy traveling = will fuck for free trips
(2) Curvy = fat as fuck
(3) Separated = if you have more money I'm your's
(4) Very Lonely = ugly as shit with the same smell
(5) Living with my children = destitute do to being a full on bitch
(6) Enjoy Crafting = don't have any tools or supplies but you can buy them for me
(7) Own my home = took him to the cleaners during the divorcee
(8) love my children = they are paying for everything
(9) Home maker/cook = as long as the maid shows up an take out can be paid for with your CC
(10) Enjoy mature men = I'm 25 an like 70yo's with money an a good ins policy
(11) None Fox news watcher = flaming liberal
(12) Free thinker = not enough bandwidth for that one
(13) Friends in high places = knows the guy who owns the local gas station
(14) Enjoy camping = balcony over looking the beach as long as the door remains open
(15) Exercise often = opens the fridge 25 times after supper before going to bed
(16) Healthy = with the 21 pills taken every day
(17) Highly Educated = reads the internet all the time
(18) Speak my mind = grew up making love to my brother
(19) Mechanically inclined = installed a light blub correctly after 30 minutes of trying
(20) A few problems in life = Drug addict, filed bankruptcy 4 times, arrested for assualt, charged with but never convicted of murder to date!

All the above is FACT, so take heed an,....
NEVER JOIN A DATING SITE!
They are all full of cluster fucks waiting to happen!
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Wow
Reactions: theLBC, clcustom1911, gigamortis and 3 others
#2
shockingly accurate....

i did online dating for a year or so.......95% of the people i met were completely fucking shit people......like....the shallowest scummy people youve ever met......and they leave you with no doubt a to why theyre single.

most of them are just using you to buy them a few free drinks and want nothing else with you.....and the rest have SERIOUS relationship issues.

i remember i was supposed to meet up with one chick for drinks and some food........when i got to the pub, she had gotten there 30mins early and she was already eating food.......like WTF?

.....however.........after wading through all the shitty people.....i did find my current GF, and weve been together nearly 3 years.......so it is possible to find someone.....but its not easy.
 
#5
I met up with a woman back in 13 and during the drinks and eats, she's talking about things she likes and dislikes.

She was dumb enough to say she's never liked sex....
I couldn't get out of there fast enough
 
  • Like
Reactions: Snipe260
#8
Ha! Thats some very funny stuff.
Some friends set me up on that crap when I was about 26 (working in a hospital, all the women wondered why I spent my time alone in the woods). I went on a lot of first dates.

Now I am divorced and while planning the next year or three of doing my thing being a single dad and shooting, hunting, fishing, camping. Then a friend and I started having a conversation after our kids played together at the park.
Better someone you have known who they are when they arent trying to impress someone.

i wouldn't do online dating nowadays no matter what. I have low tolerance for BS from supposed adult women.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Trevor300wsm and hseII
#10
Shit. I got catfished on a dating site like no other. Smoking Spanish girl sends me a message, we start talking and she keeps sending me photos. Total bombshell. Finally agree to meet up for dinner and drinks. Sitting at the table waiting for her and some rather curvy girl walks up and says she's her. Now I don't mind a thicker girl but the pictures she sent me vs what she is now is at least 100+ lbs different. I do the gentlemanly thing and try to sit through dinner but in the back of my mind I keep thinking the hell happened. Halfway though a couple drinks a buddy shows up and he comes over to say hi, takes one look and gives me the look...

my mouth always gets me in trouble so I just straight had to ask her why in the hell she sent me pictures from who knows when and couldn't just tell me hey I'm a wee bit curvy. Let's just say we never talked again after that
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ravenworks and PinesAndProjectiles
#12
I've been married for 12 years to a younger woman....12 years younger....has been great and I have sex often. The fact that it's while I'm alone does not matter!lol

Got a good buddy on the dating sites right now and I tried to tell him....he is now experiencing why there are mental health facilities.
 
  • Like
Reactions: PinesAndProjectiles and TACC
#13
WATERWALKER said:
Post up your internet dating stories, especially the disfunctional Springer-esque type stories. This could be epic, like the crazy ass women thread from a while ago.
Click to expand...

Well, there is one Hide member in particular who has quite a bit of stories to tell about his online love life. Here's a prime example:
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/s-3rcbx5-Uk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
 
#14
WATERWALKER said:
OK, I've never done internet dating of any kind. Post up your internet dating stories, especially the disfunctional Springer-esque type stories. This could be epic, like the crazy ass women thread from a while ago.
Click to expand...

Made me think of another one. Another dating site, start messaging a girl and she starts sending me some rather risky photos. Now to preface this she picked up on I was a former Marine, and she had started to talk about specific spots on Lejeune and areas around it. Thinking too much with the little head and not the big head I didn't click in until she sent me a picture and she has Semper Fi going down the rib cage. So I ask her if she had ever served. She said it was "just for the meaning" I had to say Bull, only a Jarhead inks that on their body. I couldn't leave well enough alone and had to google her and put out some feelers, and apparently her babies daddy had been stationed there and that was the tip of the old 'berg. Once again my damn mouth had to ask why in the hell she couldn't just tell me that shit and the other little details.

i gotta stop asking so many damn questions
 
  • Like
Reactions: hseII
#15
you can do it ... you can find true love online with john or ted I mean susan or lucy what ever his name will be . a man dressed as a woman is the same as a real woman lol . Just in case it does not pan out
 
  • Like
Reactions: EddieNFL
#16
Online dating is good for those "quiet" and reserved guys who rather have the woman make the first move so they can have the final say of yes or no. There are many people like that out there. It might not be self confidence issues but some people prefer the stability of not having to wonder if they got "game" or came off as too creepy/clingy/whatever.

Write the best and most honest profile as you can, upload some good pics, and play the patience game...
 
#17
@1J04 met Pookie on a hookup site, and his life has been absolutely amazing, fantastic, all those expressive words, since.

1J and Pookie on their wedding day ...

20191024_163709.jpg
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: armorpl8chikn, Ravenworks, Snipe260 and 4 others
#20
Mike Casselton said:
I met up with a woman back in 13 and during the drinks and eats, she's talking about things she likes and dislikes.

She was dumb enough to say she's never liked sex....
I couldn't get out of there fast enough
Click to expand...
DUDE, you should have asked her if she new the difference between sex and a hamburger. When she said NO, tell her 'then let's go get a burger'.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: Ravenworks and Threadcutter308
#22
j-huskey said:
@1J04 met Pookie on a hookup site, and his life has been absolutely amazing, fantastic, all those expressive words, since.

1J and Pookie on their wedding day ...

View attachment 7170307
Click to expand...
@j-huskey , you magnificent bastard, you!

This needs to be upvoted every day to keep it on top. I had forgotten all about this !
 
  • Like
Reactions: j-huskey
#30
ajv35XX said:
Thinking too much with the little head and not the big head I didn't click in until she sent me a picture and she has Semper Fi going down the rib cage.

Apparently her babies daddy had been stationed there and that was the tip of the old 'berg. Once again my damn mouth had to ask why in the hell she couldn't just tell me that shit and the other little details.

i gotta stop asking so many damn questions
Click to expand...
The whole time you were singing about- "JODY GOT YOUR GIRL IN BED"
What, you were thinking that we made that shit up?
 
  • Like
Reactions: TheBigCountry
#32
i wont say you cant find a decent woman on a dating sight...but you have to sort through a lot of the chaff before you find a piece of wheat.

in my years of being single....out of 250ish women....i’ve found like 5 that i would say are good girls. what does that say about women these days?

for all their bitching.....keeping a man isnt that fucking complicated. feed us and fuck us. or, as one slut i “dated” for a night said “my momma taught me how to keep a man.......suck him dry and lick him clean”. i will admit, that sloot gave the best head i’ve ever got. she was a true artist. but a whoure of epic proportions. a complete guttersnipe.

but back to the feeding and fucking....add to that, keep your promises and be loyal. if you find those 4 things, you can not rightly ask for more.
 
  • Like
Reactions: TheBigCountry
#33
myronman3 said:
i wont say you cant find a decent woman on a dating sight...but you have to sort through a lot of the chaff before you find a piece of wheat.

in my years of being single....out of 250ish women....i’ve found like 5 that i would say are good girls. what does that say about women these days?

for all their bitching.....keeping a man isnt that fucking complicated. feed us and fuck us. or, as one slut i “dated” for a night said “my momma taught me how to keep a man.......suck him dry and lick him clean”. i will admit, that sloot gave the best head i’ve ever got. she was a true artist. but a whoure of epic proportions. a complete guttersnipe.

but back to the feeding and fucking....add to that, keep your promises and be loyal. if you find those 4 things, you can not rightly ask for more.
Click to expand...

This times 100
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Blue Sky Country
WEAPONS SAVE LIVES: 13 year old Michigan boy uses slingshot to save 8 year old sister from kidnapping attempt by sexual pervert.
Replies
10
Views
1K
SanPatHogger
SanPatHogger
Softtail103
Average age of Congress
Replies
3
Views
418
37L1
37L1
Maggot
WD 40 Who would have thunk it.
Replies
62
Views
3K
Alphatreedog
Alphatreedog
lonegunman762x51
Taking a cruise with a$$holes.........................
Replies
129
Views
8K
Big Phish
Big Phish
Lowlight
Smosh's Package, Benefit for Sgt Josh Clark
Replies
12
Views
2K
Bender
Bender
Top Bottom
Back
Home
Forums
Merch
Alerts