Maggie’s Motivational Pic Thread v2.0 - - New Rules - See Post #1
- Thread starter Snake-Eyes
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If you're on a computer, open the IG post. Right click in the comment section and left click "view page source". You'll need to scroll down until you find "meta property OG video". The direct URL is after "content=".
So duck walks into a bar and says to the Bartender "Got any strawberries?"
Bartender says "No... we're a bar. We sell beer and wine and spirits. We don't have strawberries."
Duck jumps off the bar and leaves.
Next day, duck walks back into the bar and asks the bartender "Got any strawberries?"
Bartender says "NO! I told you yesterday, we're a bar. We sell wine and beer and spirits. We don't sell strawberries."
Duck jumps off the bar and leaves.
Next day, duck walks back into the bar and says to the bartender... "Got any strawberries?"
Bartender explodes and yells "NO! I told you we sell liquor and beer and wine. We don't have any strawberries and if you ask me again, I am going to nail your webbed feet to the goddamned bar!"
Duck jumps off the bar and leaves.
Next day, duck walks back into the bar and says to the bartender: "Got any Nails"
Bartender looks at the duck and says "No. I don't have any damn nails."
Duck says: "Got any strawberries?"
Cheers,
Sirhr
Duck walks into a bar…
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.
The barman looks at him and says, “hang on! You’re a duck.”
“I see your eyes are working,” replies the duck.
“And you can talk!” exclaims the barman.
“I see your ears are working, too,” says the Duck. “Now if you don’t mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?”
“Certainly, sorry about that” says the barman as he pulls the duck’s pint. “It ‘s just we don’t get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?”
“I’m working on the building site across the road,” explains the duck. “I’m a plasterer.”
The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.
So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.
The same thing happens for two weeks.
Then one day the circus comes to town.
The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him “you’re with the circus, aren’t you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!”
“Sounds marvelous,” says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. “Get him to give me a call.”
So the next day when the Duck comes into the pub the barman says, “hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money.”
“I’m always looking for the next job,” says the duck. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” says the barman.
“The circus?” repeats the duck.
“That’s right,” replies the barman.
“The circus?” the duck asks again. “With the big tent?”
“Yeah,” the barman replies.
“With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?” says the duck.
“Of course,” the barman replies.
“And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?” persists the duck.
“That’s right!” says the barman.
The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says ..
“What the f*ck would they want with a plasterer??!”
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.
The barman looks at him and says, “hang on! You’re a duck.”
“I see your eyes are working,” replies the duck.
“And you can talk!” exclaims the barman.
“I see your ears are working, too,” says the Duck. “Now if you don’t mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?”
“Certainly, sorry about that” says the barman as he pulls the duck’s pint. “It ‘s just we don’t get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?”
“I’m working on the building site across the road,” explains the duck. “I’m a plasterer.”
The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.
So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.
The same thing happens for two weeks.
Then one day the circus comes to town.
The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him “you’re with the circus, aren’t you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!”
“Sounds marvelous,” says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. “Get him to give me a call.”
So the next day when the Duck comes into the pub the barman says, “hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money.”
“I’m always looking for the next job,” says the duck. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” says the barman.
“The circus?” repeats the duck.
“That’s right,” replies the barman.
“The circus?” the duck asks again. “With the big tent?”
“Yeah,” the barman replies.
“With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?” says the duck.
“Of course,” the barman replies.
“And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?” persists the duck.
“That’s right!” says the barman.
The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says ..
“What the f*ck would they want with a plasterer??!”
A duck walks into a bar...
And orders a hundred bottles of scotch.
The bartender says, "That's gonna be pretty expensive. How are you gonna pay for all that liquor?"
The duck replies, "Just put it on my tab."
A nearby bar patron cheekily says, "Don't you mean 'put it on my bill'?"
The duck says to the bartender, "Okay, put it on his bill."
And orders a hundred bottles of scotch.
The bartender says, "That's gonna be pretty expensive. How are you gonna pay for all that liquor?"
The duck replies, "Just put it on my tab."
A nearby bar patron cheekily says, "Don't you mean 'put it on my bill'?"
The duck says to the bartender, "Okay, put it on his bill."
So, my daughter just responded to my stolen forward of this joke with:
The kid’s song version of that joke.
view page source- Control U
Use the Find function to search for MP4 - thats the direct video link
It must be. On this day in 1967, he got what he deserved.
I can dig up some old pics of my ex father in law with Che. The guys who started Soldier of Fortune helped install all those evil dictators. Later he tried to overthrow Cuba with a couple buddies. Misguided but interesting life he lived. At least my son got some entertaining heritage out of it.
Gerald Patrick Hemming is my kid's grandfather. Roy Hargraves was his good friend. I answered the phone one day and talked to Oliver Stone, Jerry was the technical advisor to J.F.K. it was an interesting family to be involved with.
Down here in Oz, this is all "the right to bear arms" means?
I hit 2 or 3, then got bored. Sorry, but you really can’t expect much from me...
Every day that there is ANTIFA to piss off is Dead Che Day. ?
So satisfying to watch | uberHumor.com
uberHumor.com: Probably the funniest site on the net...
uberhumor.com
I read a book about Frank Sturgis several years ago. It was an interesting read. If half of it was true, those were some wild guys.
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Was this filmed before or after they caught that alligator and poured beer down it's throat? Also their female friend is nowhere to be found in this one...
