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Eight things Europeans criticize the US for but we say thanks

Dead Eye Dick

Dead Eye Dick

Command Spec 4 (formally known as Wiillk)
Full Member
Minuteman
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May 18, 2020
4,139
13,142
North Louisiana
#1
Straight from Babylon Bee but pretty neat and might not even be considered satire. I love #1 & #5

  1. You guys have enough guns to blow up the world four times over!: Heck yes we do.
  2. You don't speak any language but English: Because we're winners. Appreciate the reminder.
  3. You call football "soccer" and you're terrible at it: Yeah, we're not all gay. Thanks for noticing!
  4. Nobody uses public transit: Absolutely. Isn't freedom amazing?
  5. You still believe in God: Thanks, pretty cool having the light of Reason.
  6. You have military bases in every country: Aw, you're welcome little bro.
  7. Your portion sizes are ridiculous: We know, isn't this 72-ounce steak beautiful? Brings tears to your eyes.
  8. You don't have universal healthcare: Yup, it's pretty cool getting to see a doctor instead of waiting until you're dead.
 
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#5
I’m in València, Spain right now. Europe is a beautiful, history rich shithole.

I rarely give money to panhandlers, but I just gave my son a few bills to give to a middle aged woman dragging her lifeless legs through the cobblestone street who was afflicted with polio. How’s that universal healthcare working out again? There are amputees and cripples everywhere.

The hotel concierges also make it a point to tell you not to wear backpacks and attach your phones to your body with tethers because of the pickpockets that are rarely if ever prosecuted. American men aren’t what they used to be, but we’re waaay more masculine than these limp wristed Europeans.

Every time I cross the pond I come home grateful to be an American.

The most ridiculous thing of all is the stereotype that Americans are rude. The Spanish are stickyfingered bastards, the Italians are so pretentious it’s laughable and the French are so goddamn rude it’s a miracle any of them have teeth.
 
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#6
vinniedelpino said:
I’m in València, Spain right now. Europe is a beautiful, history rich shithole.

I rarely give money to panhandlers, but I just gave my son a few bills to give to a middle aged woman dragging her lifeless legs through the cobblestone street who was afflicted with polio. How’s that universal healthcare working out again? There are amputees and cripples everywhere.

The hotel concierges also make it a point to tell you not to wear backpacks and attach your phones to your body with tethers because of the pickpockets that are rarely if ever prosecuted. American men aren’t what they used to be, but we’re waaay more masculine than these limp wristed Europeans.

Every time I cross the pond I come home grateful to be an American.

Fuck these clowns.
Click to expand...

I think a back pack rigged with a zipper activated, glitter, shit and dye pack would be fucking awesome.

Let some knicker wearing, tofu eating, dick sucking soccer player steal it.
 
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#10
12. Your cars (and trucks) are too big. If you drove something smaller, there would be more room on the roads.

^^^^ An actual thing said by a Londoner.
He'd never been outside the city, much less here in the good ol' US of A.
 
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#13
Thunderkok said:
You do realize that the English people kind of own the English language, right?
Click to expand...
But we perfected it

I mean, colour?

Paralyse?

Labour?

Manoeuvre? Really? I mean, you think they own, it, but I think this butchery of a word was forcibly imposed upon them by their conquerors, the Norman French.

Besides, number 14, You yanks do not need a "license" for self "defence." You can carry a rifle in the boot of your car.
 
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#14
Mike Casselton said:
I think a back pack rigged with a zipper activated, glitter, shit and dye pack would be fucking awesome.

Let some knicker wearing, tofu eating, dick sucking soccer player steal it.
Click to expand...


Yo you are merciful, dawg... My bait backpacks would be loaded with concentrated skunk scent. And with multiple 4K cameras to livestream the reactions to an eagerly awaiting world. 😂
 
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#15
vinniedelpino said:
The most ridiculous thing of all is the stereotype that Americans are rude. The Spanish are stickyfingered bastards, the Italians are so pretentious it’s laughable and the French are so goddamn rude it’s a miracle any of them have teeth.
Click to expand...
Years ago, there were two young British engineers training at our company here in Florida. They both took off for 5 weeks to visit every beach and attraction here as soon as they arrived. I had them over for dinner towards the end of their stay.

After a nice and special meal my wife prepared and a couple cocktails, one of them proceeded to regale us with how he disliked Americans so much and everything about us that made him and the British superior.

By the time he left I was ready to show him some superiority myself, but being a proper host, I let him leave with his crooked teeth intact.

Apparently, in all their superiority, someone forgot to teach him how to be a proper guest. It taught me a thing about rudeness I hadn’t realized before.

It’s not an American thing.
 
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#19
Mike Casselton said:
Yes, but they boot-cha it when the sound comes out of their mouths.
Click to expand...
FB_IMG_1711583077376.jpg
 
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#24
vinniedelpino said:
I’m in València, Spain right now. Europe is a beautiful, history rich shithole.

I rarely give money to panhandlers, but I just gave my son a few bills to give to a middle aged woman dragging her lifeless legs through the cobblestone street who was afflicted with polio. How’s that universal healthcare working out again? There are amputees and cripples everywhere.

The hotel concierges also make it a point to tell you not to wear backpacks and attach your phones to your body with tethers because of the pickpockets that are rarely if ever prosecuted. American men aren’t what they used to be, but we’re waaay more masculine than these limp wristed Europeans.

Every time I cross the pond I come home grateful to be an American.

The most ridiculous thing of all is the stereotype that Americans are rude. The Spanish are stickyfingered bastards, the Italians are so pretentious it’s laughable and the French are so goddamn rude it’s a miracle any of them have teeth.
Click to expand...
Thats because they are all jealous of the USA and its people.
 
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#25
mvphilly said:
Thats because they are all jealous of the USA and its people.
Click to expand...
Want to see when they are not? About the time 40+ hours a week of actual work is expected. Or anything that looks like hard work. Lord help you if you mention overtime. I have come to view most of them as nothing more than lazy socialists.
 
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#26
lariat said:
Want to see when they are not? About the time 40+ hours a week of actual work is expected. Or anything that looks like hard work. Lord help you if you mention overtime. I have come to view most of them as nothing more than lazy socialists.
Click to expand...
And then Greece wonders why it cannot fund retirement for everybody at like 40 or something.
 
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