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Trying to order a fucking Pizza...

How was your pizza?

I was recently in salt lake area for the week, one evening coworker was to lazy to go rummage some decent grub so he decided to order pizza online. he ordered pepperoni pizza and Caesar salads. checked the box for plates, pop, parmesan cheese, pepper, forks, knives, ranch, etc.

I drove the half mile and grabbed it. No plates, no cheese, and only one little ranch so i had to ask for more, i round up all the stuff they should have had ready, and get back to the hotel.

We are laughing at the stupid lack of service and sit down to eat. Down the less than mediocre salad, then open the box for a slice of pizza. I start laughing and say “well buddy, looks like i get the only slice of pizza”
Them stupid idiots didn't slice the pizza!

Yeah an easy fix but you ever heard of a pizza not being sliced?
Haha!
 
Is this your phone, Sir?
IMG_2687.jpeg
 
prolly told this story before, but i had to travel to hong kong and the new territories for work.
at the end of the trip, i offered to buy dinner for the staff supervisors at any restaurant they chose.
i was hoping for the best chinese food ever. mainland fucking china!

they chose pizza hut.
First of all, they should all be demoted for picking Pizza Slut. Secondly, are those prices accurate? A 4-5 person meal deal is $599? :oops:
 
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First of all, they should all be demoted for picking Pizza Slut. Secondly, are those prices accurate? A 4-5 person meal deal is $599? :oops:
lol, to be fair, they probably all eat chinese food every day...
as for the prices...they were not significantly different than prices here back then. right now $1hk = $0.13usd.
 
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So here in central Kansas... if you were going to give America an Enema... this is probably where you'd put the hose. I keep expecting John Lithgow to knock on my hotel room door and tell me he is trying to ensure I am not dancing.

Some will get that.

There's bible thumpers falling out of the streetlights...

Trying to order a pizza to my hotel room. Should be easy, right? First call to Pizza Hut about 1/8 mile away. "We don't deliver. It's the other store." Call other store. Get a massive chain menu... followed by a fucking Beaner who can't speak any fucking English. All she does is try and sell me pizza specials. Won't shut up. Hang up on the fucking bitch.

Call Domino's. After a phone tree... get another fucking beaner. Tell her it's for deliver to the ***** Inn by the Interstate. "I need an address." "I'm in a fucking hotel by the Interstate. What is this... a call center?" "Jess... ees call center." "Fucking Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick... I have to look this up."

So now I am trying to find the address of some fucking hotel in Bug-tussle Kansas. Find it. Give her address.

Here's what I want.... "Do you want a special? Because I have specials?' Fucking no. I just want a medium meat lovers. "Do you want a dessert, because we have pizza crust smothered in sugar syrup shit." No, I want a pizza. "It will be delivered between this and that time..." DON'T Fucking care. it gets here when it gets here.

Ho-kay... you have to use keypad to enter credit card. "I want to pay the driver." "No... you can't do that... have to enter the credit card." %$$#@@ing hell. Enters credit card with keypad.

"You sure you don't want dessert which is pizza crust smothered in Pillsbury Doubhboy sugar syrup?" No. I just want a pizza. A fucking medium meat lovers pizza.

Deport them all. No wonder these pizza places are going out of business at an epic rate. They deserve to.

Call centers to order pizza? Staffed by fucking 'wets? I don't want to listen to Spanish to order a fucking pizza. If it was Italian... OK... I'll play along. But this isn't a Tamale cart.

Damn, deport them all. And lock up the Pizza Hut and Domino's executives for employing illegals at an epic rate.

Better not be a fucking beaner dropping off my pizza.

Sirhr
WTF... no pineapple? F'ing commie. :D
 
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When in Germany, one does not order pizza. One orders Doner Kebab. Especially from street stands.

Or wienerschnitzel, when in Bavaria. If I were doing life over again, I'd have spent every weekend in Berchestgaden until I married the granddaughter of an SS Colonel and brought her home to the Schloss. The 'talent' in that town was unreal. Master race indeed! And they were the best bier-servers! Oh those days...

Sirhr
Alex French guy cooking did a series on kebab. Posted here in order.



 
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prolly told this story before, but i had to travel to hong kong and the new territories for work.
at the end of the trip, i offered to buy dinner for the staff supervisors at any restaurant they chose.
i was hoping for the best chinese food ever. mainland fucking china!

they chose pizza hut.
holy shit......
That pineapple?
1740518660263.png
 
Half of my weight loss was because I just gave up trying to order fast food from people who don't speak English.

I've spent my life with people with horrible accents from every corner of the glove (only 1 other person in my group is a native english speaker)--if I can't understand you, its a problem. And I'm within shooting distance of those filthy canuks.