Unfortunately I don't know a man over 40 that hasn't been divorced. I'm sure they exist, and I've seem 'em in the wild, but just never met one.
Seriously though, this shit is all too common and I know you're being stoic here but I feel for you bro. You wouldn't be with her if there wasn't something there at some time.
Another thing --you will find NO BETTER advice about this shit than from the guys on here. Promise. These guys not only held my hand through my divorce, they bankrolled the whole fucking thing after she bailed, took all the money, and did it over Christmas so I couldn't get a lawyer in time.
Everyone thinks they'll "get along, don't need a lawyer" but it's different now. My buddy just figured that one out the hard way yesterday in fact.
Not enough info on the bolt handle so here's all three answers: If it's cheap, weld it. If it's nice, replace it. If it's new, send it back. Too bad the advice on the wife isn't the same.
Depending on your state, her finding a new man may work in your favor. Go get a lawyer today. SHE needs to get that "surprise" summons, not you. And of course, you want EVERYTHING --you'll come to an agreement but the more you ask for the less you get fucked in the end.
Sorry, and good luck buddy. If there's anything I can do or say, PM me, I'm here for 'ya.