Appoppaclips Recipes(no hot dogs)

[armorpl8chikn]

A place to share.
A place to let your true culinary talents shine.

Topics covered:
Canned fish: what you need to know.

Rice: WTF am I gonna season this bland shit with?

Treet: Spam's ugly cousin.

Spam: The rich man's survival food.

Sardines: Are crackers really necessary?

Deviled Ham: No its not potted meat you ninnyhammer.

Potted meat: Pate' de Poors

Dried beans: So...um....WTF am I sposed to do with these?

And other compelling topics that could keep you manufacturing turds.

 

[hankpac]

I have seen 5 and 6 gallon buckets of wheat passed from one family to another, 2-3 times, and never once used.
I think it is house ballast.

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

This within the pages of this early 50s cookbook all the information you seek

 

[Bender]

I have seen 5 and 6 gallon buckets of wheat passed from one family to another, 2-3 times, and never once used.
I think it is house ballast.

I have 3-400 pounds of red hard wheat. We have a wheat grinder. We use it often. Makes great hearty bread.

 

[armorpl8chikn]

So beans. Yeah, soak em and put some sausage in em. Maybe some pork necklines. Maybe some mutton chops...mmm...delish.
Yeah, you haven't seen a fucking hooved animal in months. Those barnyard buzzards produce eggs and progeny, can't just go killing them willy nilly. Sure, raccoon is delicious, but you haven't seen any just walking around lately. Those you were feeding in the glory days haven't been seen in forever.
What to do?

You did put up a nice stash of stuff. But you have no frigging clue how to use the shit.

1lb dried beans
1 can deviled ham(larger can)
If you are adventurous you can add a can of maters, mater sauce or mater paste(small can)
Boil them shits down till tender.
Enjoy.

Put up some vac sealed country ham. That shit lasts a long time in a cool dark place.
A little goes a long way...fair warning. You can use it on them beans.

 

[James Abram]

A poppa clips? That’s funny stuff right there!

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

How to cook a beef kidney?

You boil the piss out of it.

 

[armorpl8chikn]

How to cook a beef kidney?

You boil the piss out of it.

(Sigh)
No.
You put it in a sock, and beat the piss out of it.
Jeez...

Hey I have a Redneck star rating. Like Michelin star, only not quite.

 

[armorpl8chikn]

A poppa clips? That’s funny stuff right there!

I kaint spel

 

[zeroz]

The canned mackerel is to bait in the coons. They'll show up.

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

Thread has potential to become epic Hide.
One of my fathers favorite sayings "Poor lost souls don't even know how to feed themselves".
I think that saying is even more true today than 50 years ago.
So many people now receive their nourishment window to window.

 

[JM4590]

You gots to farm hogs! Ain’t no part of them critters you cant eat…..ears, snouts, feets,hams, chops, balls, guts(chitlin) skin (cracklins) jowls ….kinda reminds me of the scene in Forrest Gump when bubba was listin off all the shrimp recipes only with hogs!

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

You gots to farm hogs! Ain’t no part of them critters you cant eat…..ears, snouts, feets,hams, chops, balls, guts(chitlin) skin (cracklins) jowls ….kinda reminds me of the scene in Forrest Gump when bubba was listin off all the shrimp recipes only with hogs!

Every part of the pig but the oink.

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

(Sigh)
No.
You put it in a sock, and beat the piss out of it.
Jeez...

Hey I have a Redneck star rating. Like Michelin star, only not quite.

Little old for putting your meat in a sock and beating it.

 

[Snipe260]

I ate sardines for supper the other night! Wife came in from work and thought I’d been cheating on her!

 

[Snipe260]

I also eat spam on fishing trips! Good sodium intake

 

[J.J.chago]

 

[JM4590]

I ate sardines for supper the other night! Wife came in from work and thought I’d been cheating on her!

Dude! You gotta step up your game! Those crack whores are no bueno

 

[Bender]

Kipper snacks.

Wife threatens divorce if I eat them inside

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

 

[akmike47]

Smoked oysters in cotton seed oil, add Worcestershire and hot sauce. Enjoy on saltine.

 

[armorpl8chikn]

The canned mackerel is to bait in the coons. They'll show up.

Now yer thinkin with yer dipstick Jimmy!

Wait.....the coons have been decimated already. Only now the mackerel has become necessary.
You are reduced to canned fauna at this point....and of course those bony assed vegans next door......

 

[akmike47]

View attachment 7885246

Sonic showing off, he's going to be the can food Elon musk of the end days.

 

[akmike47]

Now yer thinkin with yer dipstick Jimmy!

Wait.....the coons have been decimated already. Only now the mackerel has become necessary.
You are reduced to canned fauna at this point....and of course those bony assed vegans next door......

Eat thy neighbor.

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

The first time I met my future daughter-in-law I asked if she would like a corndog.
Pulled out Pyrex dish from the oven cream corn with a floater of beef franks.

 

[armorpl8chikn]

You gots to farm hogs! Ain’t no part of them critters you cant eat…..ears, snouts, feets,hams, chops, balls, guts(chitlin) skin (cracklins) jowls ….kinda reminds me of the scene in Forrest Gump when bubba was listin off all the shrimp recipes only with hogs!

Done. Good at that too.
Unfortunately, thats gonna lead to lots of unwanted attention at some point. If you can stay on top of it though, your hogs will eat well.

 

[TXAZ]

Eat thy neighbor.

Clever double entendre.

 

[akmike47]

The first time I met my future daughter-in-law I asked if she would like a corndog.
I pulled out Pyrex dish out from the oven cream corn with a floater of beef franks.

Luckily she didn't come on the day you weren't showing off your culinary prowess.

 

[armorpl8chikn]

View attachment 7885255

View attachment 7885255

 

[akmike47]

Done. Good at that too.
Unfortunately, thats gonna lead to lots of unwanted attention at some point. If you can stay on top of it though, your hogs will eat well.
View attachment 7885290

I used to raise pigs, and catch/feed out wild hogs. As kids we would have the hogs chase us for fun....oh to be young and dumb again.

Well to be young again...

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

Luckily she didn't come on the day you weren't showing off your culinary prowess.

No need to push and shove there be enough for everybody.

 

[akmike47]

No need to push and shove there be enough for everybody.

I dont want sloppy 4ths....

Wait not the DIL...never mind.

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

Gearing up for smoked salmon pattie day.

 

[akmike47]

View attachment 7885298
Gearing up for smoked salmon paddy day.

I'll eat the shit out of some salmon patties.

In the words of the great Steve Martin "I grew up a poor black child"

 

[rtB]

I thought after the appopoclypse the food trucks would run out of gas, so you'd always know where they are.

 

[armorpl8chikn]

I need to stock up on kippers.

I need to catch a bunch of alewyefs and make some kippers.....

 

[armorpl8chikn]

I thought after the appopoclypse the food trucks would run out of gas, so you'd always know where they are.

So will everyone else.

 

[akmike47]

I don't understand that folks who want to be alive after an apocalyptic event. Have fun eventually being eaten.

I hope I'm at ground zero of the tactical Nuke strike. My last thought would be "oh sh" *dust* lol

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

I don't understand that folks who want to be alive after an apocalyptic event. Have fun eventually being eaten.

I hope I'm at ground zero of the tactical Nuke strike. My last thought would be "oh sh" *dust* lol

I'm pretty sure we're out of the blast-fallout zone fresh gravity fed drinking water within carrying distance.

 

[armorpl8chikn]

Are yall gonna post recipes or what?

Dress two vegans for supper.

Take one can of Treet, cut into 1/2" cubes.
2 cups rice
Boil treet in enough water to cook the rice.
Add rice.
Fluff rice and trees with fork, add can of hatch chiles. Season and shit to taste.

Oh the vegans...yeah. you dressed them for supper.
Tie them to a fence post in the yard, and toss little cubes of Treat from your treet and rice.
Whoo boy, talk about entertainment.

 

[Snipe260]

Sonic showing off, he's going to be the can food Elon musk of the end days.

I bet he shits like a sonic coon!

 

[akmike47]

The hide isn’t going to be near as fun when it’s smoke signals

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

One 40 pound King chinookie fresh caught in the Columbia river at buoy 10.
Cut into chunks.
Mix 8 cups of dark brown sugar 2 cups of kosher non-iodize salt.
Coat fish with rub
Place fish in a plastic, crockery or glass bowl (do not use metal).
Refrigerate fish/brine in refrigerator that is just above freezing temperature.
Cure the fish for three days stirring fish every few hours to make sure all of it gets cured well.
Place in a true smoker with a real wood chips smoke to taste.

 

[akmike47]

Fried tree rat
Slow cooked tree rat
Smothered tree rat

All good

 

[armorpl8chikn]

One 40 pound King chinookie fresh caught in the Columbia river at buoy 10.
Cut into chunks.
Mix 8 cups of dark brown sugar 2 cups of kosher non-iodize salt.
Coat fish with rub
Place fish in a plastic, crockery or glass bowl (do not use metal).
Refrigerate fish/brine in refrigerator that is just above freezing temperature.
Cure the fish for three days stirring fish every few hours to make sure all of it gets cured well.
Place in a true smoker with a real wood chips smoke to taste.

That sounds great.
I'm gonna try that on my pellet smoker.

 

[akmike47]

One 40 pound King chinookie fresh caught in the Columbia river at buoy 10.
Cut into chunks.
Mix 8 cups of dark brown sugar 2 cups of kosher non-iodize salt.
Coat fish with rub
Place fish in a plastic, crockery or glass bowl (do not use metal).
Refrigerate fish/brine in refrigerator that is just above freezing temperature.
Cure the fish for three days stirring fish every few hours to make sure all of it gets cured well.
Place in a true smoker with a real wood chips smoke to taste.

Would make some good fish dip I bet

 

[Threadcutter308]

One 40 pound King chinookie fresh caught in the Columbia river at buoy 10.
Cut into chunks.
Mix 8 cups of dark brown sugar 2 cups of kosher non-iodize salt.
Coat fish with rub
Place fish in a plastic, crockery or glass bowl (do not use metal).
Refrigerate fish/brine in refrigerator that is just above freezing temperature.
Cure the fish for three days stirring fish every few hours to make sure all of it gets cured well.
Place in a true smoker with a real wood chips smoke to taste.

Give this a try, good stuff;

Amazon product ASIN B0011BPMUK

 

[akmike47]

I know one thing, I’m done eating ass when the water goes down

 

[zeroz]

Now yer thinkin with yer dipstick Jimmy!

Wait.....the coons have been decimated already. Only now the mackerel has become necessary.
You are reduced to canned fauna at this point....and of course those bony assed vegans next door......

Vegan neighbors get eaten long before the mackerel comes out!