Maggie’s Can you add to this?

[Greg Langelius *]

Re: Can you add to this?

'Ouch'... emanating from the general direction of Hadjji. Hog had failed to cap Hajji's inflation valve, and his (Hajji's) outrage was apparent..., visble..., and otherwise <span style="font-style: italic">in flagrante delicto</span>...

Praying to Allah for the appearance of something completely different...,

 

[26Sniper]

Re: Can you add to this?

....than that which was now approaching him. It was Spot's daddy, Squirt. 893 pounds of pure pork, with two very large dirt and pig shit covered testicals swinging side to side. It became very aparent to Hajji that these giant pair of pork balls, must have a giant itch, as Squirt backed up to Hajji and started rubbing them back and forth right under.......

 

[christian77]

Re: Can you add to this?

....AHHHHH! OH MY GOD, what a horrible nightmare! All 601 post had been bullshit...just a lousy dream (friggin long lousy dream)....

 

[26Sniper]

Re: Can you add to this?

It was now midnight, and time for my roving guard duty at Elgin A.F.B. in Florida. It is a rainy cold night in February 2003. No sooner did I start my rounds, when I heard a strange noise coming from a Highly restricted area of the base that I did not have clearance to enter. I tried in vane to locate the guard for that post when......

 

[christian77]

Re: Can you add to this?

I realized...JESUS, I was day-dreaming again! Well back to work..

 

[Kasey]

Re: Can you add to this?

at the grill in Burger King flippin' burgers. I realized I'd wet my pants while dreaming of taking a hot spring bath. Confused as to what was reality and what wasn't I decided right then and there no more of Uncle Joes home brewed white lightening. I couldn't handle it. Working for the CIA running undercover as a fry boy at BK trying to close the loose ends on.....

 

[christian77]

Re: Can you add to this?

a mission that turned out to be a training excercise from day one. What he hell had I been doing all these years...they told me I was going to be an operator with the CIA if I had just completed a three year stint behind the grill. After this realization I...

 

[Kasey]

Re: Can you add to this?

unscrewed the lid on a mason jar. Remembering my earlier decision to swear off Joes, I rationalized that this was Bob's brew. Looking into the clear liquid I saw.....

 

[LOBO]

Re: Can you add to this?

Uncle Joes face saying, "Drink me"...

 

[quietman]

Re: Can you add to this?

and took a swig that went down my throat like 60 grit sandpaper and set my insides on fire like Willy Pete. I put the jar down, reached into my pants, and....

 

[Kasey]

Re: Can you add to this?

sure enough I'd crapped myself. The stench made me vomit, violently. Wiping by brow, I raised my eyes and saw 13 faces seated around a large conference table that was at least 20 feet long and now partially covered in vomit, staring at me. I felt weak, trying to sort everything out and thinking it was another dream.... Picking up a piece of my vomit, which felt like a piece of sweet and sour chicken, I threw it in my mouth and chewed. It tasted like sweet and sour chicken, so it wasn't a dream! Looking back up at the now convulsing faces around the table, I saw ...

 

[SteveHACS]

Re: Can you add to this?

the double doors at the end of the room fly open and to my surprise, It was Spongee wearing rubber boots and holding a wet/dry vac in one hand and a Gold plated Desert Eagle .50 action express, nick named BOOM-BLING in the other. And as he ran towards me, whistling the theme from rawhide, a tiny..

 

[HitEmHard]

Re: Can you add to this?

...rat, only about a foot long came slithering out of his boot toward..

 

[Kasey]

Re: Can you add to this?

a rather large piece of sweet and sour chicken on the floor. But Spongee, known for his quickness whipped that wet/dry vac into motion and sucked that little morsel right up. The rat jumped on the table, landing in the middle of the debris field and barely maintaining his balance he came to a stop. It was then I noticed this rat had wires coming out from his waist....my mind wanted to think but everything was slowing down. The rat held his little paw up; the wires from his waist went to his paw. It seemed I was looking through a straw, my mouth was dry and I couldn't hear anything but a tiny voice screaming "allah akbar".

I'm not sure why, but I screamed "I have a virgin rat!" And the little angry rat cocked its head to the side, looking at me. I repeated myself, assuring him, I have a virgin rat. The angry rat raised his paw again a screamed allah akbar! And I whispered, it's a virgin gay rat. With this, he turned dropping his hand, the tension leaving, his eyes glazing over.... BANG! Spoogee vaporized the angry rat with his Gold plated Desert Eagle .50 action express, nick named BOOM-BLING.

Picking up another piece of the still warm sweet and sour chicken, I tossed it in my mouth and chewed.... Then it hit me, it didn't taste like chicken, was it rat? Was the angry rat revenging his families' death? How did rats get so sophisticated? My mind raced, shaking my head I heard a voice saying.....

 

[HitEmHard]

Re: Can you add to this?

You're fixin' to PUKE! And Then...

 

[Greg Langelius *]

Re: Can you add to this?

No...; it couldn't be. The rat's sneaker, still attached to his only remaining intact limb, his left hind paw, had the intials WJC emblazoned into the tread patter of the sole. That explained EVERYTHING!!!! It was the missing rat from the Vince Foster investigation. You know, the one who had ratted out Vince to Slick Willy when he was on the phone making the final arrangements to meet with the Justice department mole that night over in the park. Not trusting the hubby to do the wetwork, it was Hillary who had slunk down into the bushes that night, an hour before the meet and...

 

[Kletzenklueffer]

Re: Can you add to this?

...recalling how comfortable she was slunked down in bushes, she began to moan, longing for the days of the threesomes with Janet Reno and Slick Willy in drag. She moaned louder and louder calling out Janet's nickname "Bulldong". Her dark desires were met by Al Gore, show was hiding in the bushes, dreaming up his next invention, the internet. They began to moan together, Hillary in her sordid fantasy, and Al in his. The sound was akin to the tune of the Pied Piper. Suddenly, they were surrounded by every snake and rat in the region. The snakes bowed in reverence to Hillary, and the rats to Al. Finally they had assembled their minions. Next to lead the leftwing creatures to the after meeting meeting, where they would hold a committee on committees and meetings. Hillary rose to her feet, her dress and jack boots wet with her lust juice. As she began to lead the way, she...

 

[Kasey]

Re: Can you add to this?

saw Vince in leotards and a tutu dancing with William Jefferson dressed in a matching outfit. Realizing things were back to normal Hillary squared herself and stepped off the edge of the sea wall. Several rats rushed forward knocking both Bill and Vince down, protesting loudly they tumbled into the ocean. The rats and snakes gathered at the edge, all having a fear of the ocean and lacking ambition, self worth or a sense of duty they....

 

[LOBO]

Re: Can you add to this?

crawled back on to Mrs. C's head, putting the finishing touch on her medusa styled hair do. After this she then.....

 

[SteveHACS]

Re: Can you add to this?

turned around to find the business end of the gold plated Desert Eagle .50 AE nicknamed BOOM-BLING pointed right at her lust engine being weilded by a strange man with rubber boots, a wet dry vac & a strange new gay rat tatoo..
As he looked at her in complete and utter disgust, he started saying, You remind me of...

 

[Greg Langelius *]

Re: Can you add to this?

..my Mother. You'd like my Mother. She used to have a do just like yours. Then she smiled at me just like you're smiling at me, once..., once...; so I had to...

 

[26Sniper]

Re: Can you add to this?

...turn her into child protective services because she wouldn't let me have a snickers bar at the store. They said that I was so damaged by this parental abuse, that I could go out and kill people, damage property, or even run for senate in taxachutits. This made Mrs. C. so happy, her eyes filled with tears, and she said.........

 

[Greg Langelius *]

Re: Can you add to this?

..bless mah soul, dey's makin' room fo mo li'l baby demoncrats in heaven! Where's mah holy rat rattle? Ah needs to give the secret sign now!

...and with that she buried her nose in the holy rat rattle's anal orifice and exclamed, "Ah Willy, I'se gots to...

 

[SteveHACS]

Re: Can you add to this?

breath in deeply an exhale wile puttin a match to my face...." And before she finished her sentence, both Mrs. C and the Man known as Spongee with the Wet/Dry vac and the gold plated Desert Eagle .50AE nicknamed BOOM -BLING, turned their heads and noticed a man, whom seemingly looks like Fidel Castro in a tutu holding a Klinton Voodoo doll being chased by a rather large 3-toed sloth wearing a condom fashioned from saran wrap.. They both looked back at each other in amazement and then at that moment, Spongee starts running after the sloth while reaching into his pocket and pulling out a can of half eaten salad olives.. While running, He Exclaims...

 

[Greg Langelius *]

Re: Can you add to this?

..Ye gods and little green apples, now I'm <span style="font-style: italic">really</span> confused! I didn't know that sloths favored Saran... Actually, I thought they favored Saran<span style="font-style: italic">don</span>...; and unhand that holy rat rattle, Ye Knavess!

Meanwhile, the half eaten salad olives, to a one, revolted; chanting "Not us, unh, unh; nosuh, not us!". Vaulting en mass from the can, they...

 

[Greg Langelius *]

Re: Can you add to this?

..launched into a long concurrent trajectory on a direct tangent toward the Fosterguy.

Whilst this transpired, the rat (which was not really a holy rat rattle at all, but very much alive, and decidedly unwell...) discharged a blistering fart, whirled and bit the hand that held it, whirled again and launched into a spiralling arc in desperately convergent pursuit of the half eaten salad olives... Bellowing in its best ratlike falsetto, it elicited, "Run Vinney baby, the Wicked Witch of Pennsylvania Avenue has dropped the dime on ya. I'll try to hold off the olives while you didi mau!!!".

Failing miserably as their trajectories coincided (I just couldn't resist getting in a few words in support of ballistic excellence and political confusion...), the rat was consumed en toto by the olives, who were miraculously made whole again.

Resuming their uninterrupted tangential trajectory, they impacted the Fosterguy squarely in the right temple, simulating, in effect, the impact of a self inflicted handgun injury. Dare I say, this was the historic basis for all the erroneous supposition and subsequently salacious controversy surrounding the Fosterguy's demise.

Meanwhile..., in a galaxy far, far away, a long time ago, maybe even as long ago as last Tuesday...

 

[SteveHACS]

Re: Can you add to this?

Mr. C looks down upon the confusion from his throne fashioned from churchhill cigars and says...

 

[26Sniper]

Re: Can you add to this?

......Rooooody, Rooooody, Rooooody, Rooooody. But before he could light up a freshly dampend Arturo Lewinsky........

 

[Kasey]

Re: Can you add to this?

a BAB (big arsed building) that looked like a mobile home and paid for by funds funneled through several charities, Columbian coffee growers and fat sweaty nervous men with government documents sticking out of their socks, crashed onto his head. Dazed and confused, looking around he had flashback memories of home, as a little boy of 21, rolling his first "smoke" of happy. Lighting it and being faced with a decision he would forever regret....

 

[26Sniper]

Re: Can you add to this?

........not inhaleing, and thus keeping him from going after a rather plain looking (read UGLY), small breasted, big thighed girl named....

 

[SteveHACS]

Re: Can you add to this?

Maurice.. Wait.. No, Marcia, Umm.. Nope, Madonna? Hold on, I got it, Monica.. Yes, Monica.. After shaking off the impact with the BAB, he sat up to see Fidel Castro in a tutu telling him..

 

[Kasey]

Re: Can you add to this?

....Cuban cigars are imported from China! Yes its true Cuba ships all their non-biodegradable waste product to China and in return China ships us "Cuban" cigars!! Giving Klinton the idea to give all our state secrets and silly "eyes only" classified information to the Chinese for large metal containers full of toys that McDonalds can give away in their Happy Meals! He reasoned I eat Happy Meals they make me happy and to get a free toy on top of that would be wonderful! Klintons only request would be that the Chinese mark the little toy bags "made from excess materials which may or may not have been formerly used in the construction of consumer items in countries of which include those on planet Earth". Determined, as he has never been before or since, his jaw set he stood and shook off the dust when he was struck in the head by a BABO (Big Arsed Black Olive)! Picking himself up yet again, he yelled "Moby Dick"! The other patrons in McDonalds just stared at him. One rather small 9 year old boy asked his mommy...............

 

[26Sniper]

Re: Can you add to this?

...Moby? I thought his first name was Justa. After hearing her sons question, Ms. Tripp replied...

 

[SteveHACS]

Re: Can you add to this?

We should seek the great knowledge of The Oracle Monica.. She will know if he is justa or a moby.. Come, my boy, let ride in the Oscar Mayer hot dog truck to the magic place in which she dwells.. The dark office.. And off Ms. Tripp and her son went to seek the wisdom of the Oracle. Mean while, Spongee is seen still chasing the 3-toed sloth in the distance. He is yelling...

 

[hickman]

Re: Can you add to this?

bring back my autographed, limited editon, gold plated picture of Billary getting gang-banged by the entire USMC. Meanwhile Sir Doorkicker of the Order of the rag head door had received a prototype of Kaseeys new ultra top secret biopd made from unobtainium and...

 

[postal]

Re: Can you add to this?

Air hose fittings, all hand crafted by a secret union wage elves trained in the black art of PFM (pure friggin magic) when he turned and saw...

________________

Postal

 

[26Sniper]

Re: Can you add to this?

....a nude rosie o'donell running straight for him. She was screaming at the top of her lungs...

 

[KAZ]

Re: Can you add to this?

...and he was left with no choice but to gouge out his own eyeballs, plug his ears, and, fire his...

 

[Don Rutledge]

Re: Can you add to this?

... Harpoon straight at Rosie, knowing it would take two shots at the "blubber"

then he got ...

 

[LOBO]

Re: Can you add to this?

lucky when rosie spotted a stray, chocolate topped cupcake sitting in the middle of the hallway....

 

[KAZ]

Re: Can you add to this?

..then to her horror Rosie realized to late that it wasn't a chocolate cupcake at all, but, was in fact a ...

 

[26Sniper]

Re: Can you add to this?

....pile of burnt remains of a backpack containing a DNC and ACLU pamphlet, along with a couple of micky moore movies. Before she could call mickey to report this, her cellulite phone quivered..........it was howard dean...... "AAAAAAYYYYEEEEEAAAA, give me a full report on what you have found. Have our constant line of bullshit..I mean half truths..I mean whinning..I mean hatred of these Americans..I mean harassment of everyone who does not agree with king and queen klinton...lost us another mindless follower..AAAAAAAAAYYYYYEEEEAAAAAAA." But before her fat lesbein jowls could udder a word.........

 

[Guest]

Re: Can you add to this?

She sat straight up in bed an said, last night with Bill an that Blue Bress Bitch, was the last time we do that, in one room togeather.

As she was leaving for (what they call) work,.. a dark pickup truck sporting a Dixie Flag came sliding to a stop. Sliding from the drivers seat of the southern truck (gun rack, CB antenna, well you know) came Larry the Cable guy, with what looked like,......

 

[KAZ]

Re: Can you add to this?

..a very irritated Gitmo prisoner with a pork chop necklace being lead with a firm grip on his balls to be delivered to teddy k for safekeeping so teddy could show the world what a Little kindness could do when dealing with America's enemies. Larry delivered his "package" with a smile and said that he would be making deliveries to all who thought they could do a better job than our Gitmo people. As Larry drove away to make the next prisoner delivery he had to smile when he looked in his rear view mirror and saw....

 

[26Sniper]

Re: Can you add to this?

...teddy, rosie and the Gitmo prisoner EXPLODE in a ball of fire.....you see, the prisoners exposed and very "short" fuse led to his sack, which didn't contain BALLS, but did contain.......

 

[edpmedic]

Re: Can you add to this?

A implant of low grade enriched radioactive isotope. Created by the USA and sold to China after the trade agreement went through.....Since it was experimental it caused minor contamination to the area but......

 

[cwshooter]

Re: Can you add to this?

released just enough DNA-warping radiation to create SUPER ROSIE... the rediculously ugly lesbian from beyond! Not only was Super Rosie fatter, louder, and uglier, but she asexually budded little clone offspring from her rolls. There's only one thing that can stop her...

 

[woodspider]

Re: Can you add to this?

A decoy made to appear like Bill Oreilly with a microphone attempting to interview Super Rossie. Frozen with fear and paralyzed by the No Spin Zone Hat on the decoy Super Rosie turned away and ....

 

[Guest]

Re: Can you add to this?

started to scratch her balls, but finally relized she did'nt have any, so instead she....

 

[Kasey]

Re: Can you add to this?

grabbed her compact and opened it and checked to see what that was caught in her teeth.... Pleased with what she saw, and remembering the recent past, she fell in love with herself, all over again. Wanting to share this news she quickly