Eight things Europeans criticize the US for but we say thanks

[Dead Eye Dick]

Straight from Babylon Bee but pretty neat and might not even be considered satire. I love #1 & #5

1. You guys have enough guns to blow up the world four times over!: Heck yes we do.
2. You don't speak any language but English: Because we're winners. Appreciate the reminder.
3. You call football "soccer" and you're terrible at it: Yeah, we're not all gay. Thanks for noticing!
4. Nobody uses public transit: Absolutely. Isn't freedom amazing?
5. You still believe in God: Thanks, pretty cool having the light of Reason.
6. You have military bases in every country: Aw, you're welcome little bro.
7. Your portion sizes are ridiculous: We know, isn't this 72-ounce steak beautiful? Brings tears to your eyes.
8. You don't have universal healthcare: Yup, it's pretty cool getting to see a doctor instead of waiting until you're dead.

 

[Alphatreedog]

9. You turn everything into a contest .
Yep .

 

[JoshPutman]

10. You Yanks can carry knives, IN PUBLIC!
Yup, not having to cut our steaks with a fucking spoon is great!

 

[748rpilot]

"Nobody uses public transport"

Right on Sergio, I'm just over here taking my private train to work, Mr. Burns style, with a couple thousand of my closest friends.

 

[vinniedelpino]

I’m in València, Spain right now. Europe is a beautiful, history rich shithole.

I rarely give money to panhandlers, but I just gave my son a few bills to give to a middle aged woman dragging her lifeless legs through the cobblestone street who was afflicted with polio. How’s that universal healthcare working out again? There are amputees and cripples everywhere.

The hotel concierges also make it a point to tell you not to wear backpacks and attach your phones to your body with tethers because of the pickpockets that are rarely if ever prosecuted. American men aren’t what they used to be, but we’re waaay more masculine than these limp wristed Europeans.

Every time I cross the pond I come home grateful to be an American.

The most ridiculous thing of all is the stereotype that Americans are rude. The Spanish are stickyfingered bastards, the Italians are so pretentious it’s laughable and the French are so goddamn rude it’s a miracle any of them have teeth.

 

[Mike Casselton]

I’m in València, Spain right now. Europe is a beautiful, history rich shithole.

I rarely give money to panhandlers, but I just gave my son a few bills to give to a middle aged woman dragging her lifeless legs through the cobblestone street who was afflicted with polio. How’s that universal healthcare working out again? There are amputees and cripples everywhere.

The hotel concierges also make it a point to tell you not to wear backpacks and attach your phones to your body with tethers because of the pickpockets that are rarely if ever prosecuted. American men aren’t what they used to be, but we’re waaay more masculine than these limp wristed Europeans.

Every time I cross the pond I come home grateful to be an American.

Fuck these clowns.

I think a back pack rigged with a zipper activated, glitter, shit and dye pack would be fucking awesome.

Let some knicker wearing, tofu eating, dick sucking soccer player steal it.

 

[louu]

11. We can speak properly. I fucking HATE British accents, sound fucking stupid

 

[Thunderkok]

11. We can speak properly. I fucking HATE British accents, sound fucking stupid

You do realize that the English people kind of own the English language, right?

 

[Mike Casselton]

You do realize that the English people kind of own the English language, right?

Yes, but they boot-cha it when the sound comes out of their mouths.

 

[Mike Casselton]

12. Your cars (and trucks) are too big. If you drove something smaller, there would be more room on the roads.

^^^^ An actual thing said by a Londoner.
He'd never been outside the city, much less here in the good ol' US of A.

 

[oneshot86]

13. Why do you have straight healthy teef

 

[wvfarrier]

There is a reason that rich foreigners come to the US for surgery.......because their doctors suck

 

[Malum Prohibitum]

You do realize that the English people kind of own the English language, right?

But we perfected it

I mean, colour?

Paralyse?

Labour?

Manoeuvre? Really? I mean, you think they own, it, but I think this butchery of a word was forcibly imposed upon them by their conquerors, the Norman French.

Besides, number 14, You yanks do not need a "license" for self "defence." You can carry a rifle in the boot of your car.

 

[Blue Sky Country]

I think a back pack rigged with a zipper activated, glitter, shit and dye pack would be fucking awesome.

Let some knicker wearing, tofu eating, dick sucking soccer player steal it.

Yo you are merciful, dawg... My bait backpacks would be loaded with concentrated skunk scent. And with multiple 4K cameras to livestream the reactions to an eagerly awaiting world.

 

[lash]

The most ridiculous thing of all is the stereotype that Americans are rude. The Spanish are stickyfingered bastards, the Italians are so pretentious it’s laughable and the French are so goddamn rude it’s a miracle any of them have teeth.

Years ago, there were two young British engineers training at our company here in Florida. They both took off for 5 weeks to visit every beach and attraction here as soon as they arrived. I had them over for dinner towards the end of their stay.

After a nice and special meal my wife prepared and a couple cocktails, one of them proceeded to regale us with how he disliked Americans so much and everything about us that made him and the British superior.

By the time he left I was ready to show him some superiority myself, but being a proper host, I let him leave with his crooked teeth intact.

Apparently, in all their superiority, someone forgot to teach him how to be a proper guest. It taught me a thing about rudeness I hadn’t realized before.

It’s not an American thing.

 

[Rthur]

14. Say aluminum you fucking fucks...


R

 

[lariat]

You can carry a rifle in the boot of your car.

My car has no feet, and needs no manly footwear.

 

[M4orturnate]

You do realize that the English people kind of own the English language, right?

Like everything else we made it better

 

[M4orturnate]

Yes, but they boot-cha it when the sound comes out of their mouths.

 

[Mike Casselton]

14. Say aluminum you fucking fucks...


R

Al
Ewe
Mini
Ummm

 

[The D]

14. Say aluminum you fucking fucks...


R

My dad is about as hillbilly as they come and he pronounces it just as fucked up. He pronounces the N’s and M’s in all the wrong spots and is annoying as shit

 

[Rthur]

Al
Ewe
Mini
Ummm

A lot like an
Ad
vert
iss
ment

Also don't know what a truck is.


R

 

[Mike Casselton]

A lot like an
Ad
vert
iss
ment

Also don't know what a truck is.


R

Yeah, they are all cars to them.

Shed-yule
Vitt-uh-mens
Zed
Cah (car)

 

[mvphilly]

I’m in València, Spain right now. Europe is a beautiful, history rich shithole.

I rarely give money to panhandlers, but I just gave my son a few bills to give to a middle aged woman dragging her lifeless legs through the cobblestone street who was afflicted with polio. How’s that universal healthcare working out again? There are amputees and cripples everywhere.

The hotel concierges also make it a point to tell you not to wear backpacks and attach your phones to your body with tethers because of the pickpockets that are rarely if ever prosecuted. American men aren’t what they used to be, but we’re waaay more masculine than these limp wristed Europeans.

Every time I cross the pond I come home grateful to be an American.

The most ridiculous thing of all is the stereotype that Americans are rude. The Spanish are stickyfingered bastards, the Italians are so pretentious it’s laughable and the French are so goddamn rude it’s a miracle any of them have teeth.

Thats because they are all jealous of the USA and its people.

 

[lariat]

Thats because they are all jealous of the USA and its people.

Want to see when they are not? About the time 40+ hours a week of actual work is expected. Or anything that looks like hard work. Lord help you if you mention overtime. I have come to view most of them as nothing more than lazy socialists.

 

[Malum Prohibitum]

Want to see when they are not? About the time 40+ hours a week of actual work is expected. Or anything that looks like hard work. Lord help you if you mention overtime. I have come to view most of them as nothing more than lazy socialists.

And then Greece wonders why it cannot fund retirement for everybody at like 40 or something.

 

[LeftyJason]

12. Your cars (and trucks) are too big. If you drove something smaller, there would be more room on the roads.

^^^^ An actual thing said by a Londoner.
He'd never been outside the city, much less here in the good ol' US of A.

Its the EPA's fault.

 

[308pirate]

My dad is about as hillbilly as they come and he pronounces it just as fucked up. He pronounces the N’s and M’s in all the wrong spots and is annoying as shit

Aluminimum

 

[The D]

Aluminimum

Pretty close

 

[LRRPF52]

I’ve lived and traveled all over Europe, from West Germany during the Cold War, to Finland, Estonia, Denmark, Sweden, Italy, France, Netherlands, England, Belgium, Switzerland, Cyprus, Austria, Greece, etc.

I really do have fond memories of Switzerland and West Germany in the early 1980s.

One thing I do not like is the subservient, servile, weak demeanor of most people in Europe who immediately wonder who they have to ask permission from to do whatever activity is at hand.

Europe would be awesome with a US Constitution and Bill of Restrictions on govt (we call the Bill of Rights).

After 2 World Wars, the prime age males and motivational force of their populace was largely wiped out everywhere except Switzerland and Sweden, and the Swedes still managed to find their cuckery somehow.

(My family is largely Swedish/Finn/UK descent. My mom is from Finland and moved back there with my dad when they retired.)

 

[Threadcutter308]

I’ve lived and traveled all over Europe, from West Germany during the Cold War, to Finland, Estonia, Denmark, Sweden, Italy, France, Netherlands, England, Belgium, Switzerland, Cyprus, Austria, Greece, etc.

I really do have fond memories of Switzerland and West Germany in the early 1980s.

One thing I do not like is the subservient, servile, weak demeanor of most people in Europe who immediately wonder who they have to ask permission from to do whatever activity is at hand.

Europe would be awesome with a US Constitution and Bill of Restrictions on govt (we call the Bill of Rights).

After 2 World Wars, the prime age males and motivational force of their populace was largely wiped out everywhere except Switzerland and Sweden, and the Swedes still managed to find their cuckery somehow.

(My family is largely Swedish/Finn/UK descent. My mom is from Finland and moved back there with my dad when they retired.)

I too have traveled extensively in Europe. I agree with your proposal, but it would take multiple generations for that flower to bloom.

 

[LRRPF52]

I too have traveled extensively in Europe. I agree with your proposal, but it would take multiple generations for that flower to bloom.

They let women in parliament and beta males make their decisions. Nothing good can come from that.

It’s the #1 complaint from most NATO nation Defense personnel: Underfunded, not appreciated, while social welfare programs are treated like Kamala’s campaign budget management for immigrants who don’t contribute anything to the society, and suck off the welfare system on the backs of aging Europeans who still vote for more of the same.

 

[LRRPF52]

If you look at the numbers though, and compare relative population sizes of European nations with US States, it’s interesting what rises to the surface.

For example, here in Utah, we have more Life Flight Air Ambulances, Level 1-4 Trauma Centers, Hospitals, clinics, dentist offices, orthodontists, orthopedic surgeons, specialty clinics, and EMS infrastructure than Finland.

Utah population is 3.4 million.
Finland is 5.6 million.

Finland is one of the best places in Europe to live, if you can acclimate to the cold (you’re in an apartment or rural farmhouse anyway with the heat on).

 

[LRRPF52]

When my son crashed his bike and injured his knee, was knocked unconscious, we waited 47 days until he got an MRI.

I had to go to the ER a few weeks ago, had an MRI and CAT Scan within 59 minutes.

The US developed MRI and sells the machines to the European States.

 

[Threadcutter308]

When my son crashed his bike and injured his knee, was knocked unconscious, we waited 47 days until he got an MRI.

I had to go to the ER a few weeks ago, had an MRI and CAT Scan within 59 minutes.

The US developed MRI and sells the machines to the European States.

I’m assuming your Son was in Europe (or maybe Canada) when the accident happened ?

 

[LRRPF52]

I’m assuming your Son was in Europe (or maybe Canada) when the accident happened ?

Yes, in the utopia known as Finland. Wait time for critical diagnostics are at their pleasure.

In the US, we berate ourselves for an avg delivery time from the order of 47 minutes, saying we can do better and then have conferences on how to streamline services for faster delivery, then cut those times down some more.

Those same people who attend those conferences in the US really believe it’s better in Europe or Canada.

There isn’t another Country in the world you want to be if you have a medical emergency, need basic care, dental work, break an arm or leg, kids get hurt, etc.

The one area Europe does have better metrics in my perspective and analysis is food.

They really don’t mess around when it comes to food standards, cleanliness, ingredients, quality, and protectionism.

At least in Northern Europe. Their grocery stores are more like Whole Foods, and the prices reflect that as well for the most part.

In the US, our food barely has actual food ingredients in it with all the packages trash, chemicals, artificial sweeteners, HFCS, Red #40, seed oils, plastics, hormones, xenoestrogens, ground up cellulose, maltodextrin, xanthan gum, stabilizers, fillers, and God only knows what else.

I do very much miss European food. I love German food with a nice bratwurst and sauerkraut, peppered chicken, their breads, Finnish rye bread, Russian rye bread, Italian real pasta, French soups, French bread, Scandinavian yogurts, Swiss/German/Belgian/Finnish chocolates, their natural tomatoes, Norwegian salmon.

We do have amazing BBQ though if it’s fresh and done right. Fresh Cal-Mex food is hard to beat in the US as well.

But the stuff in our stores is really bad for the most part, and the primary cause of our health problems.

Looking forward to what RFK Jr. does in that space, but there’s going to be push-back from the big retail, grocery manufacturers of America lobbyists, and the other people who industrialized our food. We have advantages in quantity production for sure, but we’re failing at our capacity to deliver quality.

 

[Ronws]

I have to say the 2A is probably the biggest thing. I have discussed firearms with someone from another country. Oh, he was so confused. He did not know I am a "gun guy."

He was trying show how smart he was and asked me to define the word, "caliber."

I said, in analogy, caliber of a person is meant to speak to the worthiness or honorability of that person.

But technically, caliber is diameter of the bullet. He tried to tell me it was meant to describe muzzle velocity. I politely replied that was incorrect.

Would it be different if he grew up in a country where you had full access to guns and materials to study them.

So, we americans have too many guns? Well, then, send us more. People who have guns tend to survive a little longer. Not always, but chances are better.

Also, I like to think that the amendments are not rights granted to us. These are rights we had all along. We were simply amending the Constitution to remind the governemt what they may not do.

 

[kindabitey]

As far as not speaking any language other than English, well it is our language and I can drive 5 hours in any direction and it’s not another country.

 

[JoshPutman]

Hell, drive five hours and still be in the same state

 

[davsco]

1 trump
2 trump
3 trump
4 trump
5 you get the idea...

 

[WasNH4X]

Its the EPA's fault.

If that's a diesel Datsun..........I do have one,was my dads'

 

[Ronws]

Hell, drive five hours and still be in the same state

I can drive more than 5 hours and I am still in the same state.

 

[kenny1773]

Who gives a fuck what they think?

 

[Soulezoo]

True story:

Late 70's in HS German class. The teacher is born/raised in Germany and told us stories about her being in the Hitler youth.
She goes to Berlin over Christmas break and comes back with a slide show of Berlin with checkpoint Charlie and the whole bit.
A classmate noticed that she didn't see any American cars on the street. Asks the question: "do they even sell American cars over there?"
Teacher replies: "ja, they sell them but nobody buys them because they are all junk..."
I blurt out: "yeah, but our tanks held up pretty good, didn't they?!"
I got kicked out of class...

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

Ask a Brit to say bottle of water

 

[cheng1962]

I have to say the 2A is probably the biggest thing. I have discussed firearms with someone from another country. Oh, he was so confused. He did not know I am a "gun guy."

He was trying show how smart he was and asked me to define the word, "caliber."

I said, in analogy, caliber of a person is meant to speak to the worthiness or honorability of that person.

But technically, caliber is diameter of the bullet. He tried to tell me it was meant to describe muzzle velocity. I politely replied that was incorrect.

Would it be different if he grew up in a country where you had full access to guns and materials to study them.

So, we americans have too many guns? Well, then, send us more. People who have guns tend to survive a little longer. Not always, but chances are better.

Also, I like to think that the amendments are not rights granted to us. These are rights we had all along. We were simply amending the Constitution to remind the governemt what they may not

True story:

Late 70's in HS German class. The teacher is born/raised in Germany and told us stories about her being in the Hitler youth.
She goes to Berlin over Christmas break and comes back with a slide show of Berlin with checkpoint Charlie and the whole bit.
A classmate noticed that she didn't see any American cars on the street. Asks the question: "do they even sell American cars over there?"
Teacher replies: "ja, they sell them but nobody buys them because they are all junk..."
I blurt out: "yeah, but our tanks held up pretty good, didn't they?!"
I got kicked out of class...

Many Germans forgot that if it wasn’t for the gun crazy Americans, they would be speaking Russian. I told a bunch of german guys that, they were bitching about the amount of US troops stationed in Germany ( I was one), but mainly jealous because some good looking German girls line Americans. So I asked if they did their 18 months in the Bundeswehr,no! You don’t even want to fight for yourself.
So shut the fuck up.
We am here so you don’t have to speak Russian!

 

[jbell]

I grew up in Georgia having what I have been told a pretty thick accent. When I got out of the Corps I moved to Maine. A guy I worked with was talking to me when I said “y’all” about something. He said what was that? Y’all? What kind of English do you speak down there?

I replied “I don’t speak English, I speak American”! He shut up pretty quick…

 

[EddieNFL]

You do realize that the English people kind of own the English language, right?

Derived from German…so they kinda stole it.

 

[Hound Dog]

Straight from Babylon Bee but pretty neat and might not even be considered satire. I love #1 & #5

1. You call football "soccer" and you're terrible at it:

It was the Britt's that come up with the name soccer. they can't blame that on us. I don't like soccer anyway,

Why Do Some People Call Football “Soccer”? | Britannica

You play it with your feet, right?

www.britannica.com

 

[lariat]

It was the Britt's that come up with the name soccer. they can't blame that on us. I don't like soccer anyway,

Why Do Some People Call Football “Soccer”? | Britannica

You play it with your feet, right?

www.britannica.com

What's this soccer thing you speak of?