Fucking Minivan Drivers!

[AIAW]

So I nearly absolutely destroy a minivan today that pulled out in front of me then decides to come to a full complete halt at a green light. ABS groaned for a bit to stop 9000 pounds of F-450 barreling towards them, coupled with some solid horn blowing. Of course the window comes down and a big left-arm middle finger gets thrown, then I managed to get beside them and throw another, just to assure that they knew how fucking retarded they were.

What really pissed me off was the fact that they had one of those [rams finger down throat] "Baby on Board" placards. Like I give a shit what you have onboard, seriously. I've noticed a trend with people that have those. None of them appear to be able to drive their finger up their ass.

Central Texas is booming, and these frigging things are everywhere now... usually doing 20 MPH under the speed limit, random unwarranted braking and using signals about 10 feet in front of their turns.

It wouldn't be so bad if people would replace that stupid-ass placard with one of these instead. Really, not like it's going to help either way. "Sorry, I wouldn't have turned their nanny-van into a canoe if they had only had a sign stating that it was full of mewling cabbages".

Some people I tell ya.

 

[W54/XM-388]

Try DFW area, it's full on insane with idiots in traffic doing unbelievably stupid things.

I'm so not looking forward to the time change next month, I don't know about your area, but around here it means pretty much 2 weeks to a month of total mayhem on the roads and accidents all over.

 

[AIAW]

Yep, time change coupled with wetter weather. A drop on windshield means all common on-road sense - out the window!

I'm like 20 miles north of Austin, but it's creeping this way. Time to move out further I feel...

 

[Crang]

I am horribly biased against minivans. Their drivers are distracted drivers and sleep deprived due to their young kids. Throw in the fact they are usually women and add some big blind spots to the vehicle and well...I avoid them like the plague on the road. I had a coworker driving me home one day (in Austin at the time) in her minivan and I confessed my bias. She laughed and said its true- a month prior she was so tired she fell asleep at a red light and hit the gas and woke up when she rear-ended the driver in front of her. case and point. And dont get me started on PT Cruisers lol.

 

[Rlandry]

Real men don't drive mini-vans.

 

[TxWelder35]

If you have a minivan it means you've given up in life.

 

[Srgt. Hulka]

My wife has a minivan. I hate driving that thing, and she hates riding in my truck. (She does not drive my truck...period.) The truck usually wins anyway, I just have to listen to her bitch about it the whole time.

 

[AIAW]

Real men don't drive mini-vans.

Typically it’s just some ditzy slore.

Probably about a 70/30 female/male (how dare I assume their gender) ratio. Feel sorry for the dude that is forced to drive one.

 

[hlee]

If you have a minivan it means you've given up in life.

Does wearing crocs while driving a minivan cancel that out? Like two negatives makes a positive?

 

[timesublime]

Condoms prevent minivans...

 

[AIAW]

Does wearing crocs while driving a minivan cancel that out? Like two negatives makes a positive?

God no. WAY worse. The only thing on the planet worse is those damn toe shoes. Holy shit those things are disturbing. For some reason I see those and I instinctively smell vinegar.

 

[ForgeValley]

Meh, no worse than the guys in their Ford raptors that cost more than my first house.

 

[hlee]

God no. WAY worse. The only thing on the planet worse is those damn toe shoes. Holy shit those things are disturbing. For some reason I see those and I instinctively smell vinegar.

Okay, so how do you feel about socks with individual toes? What if we added them to the crocs with minivan equation? Surely something is going to cancel. Right?

 

[W54/XM-388]

God no. WAY worse. The only thing on the planet worse is those damn toe shoes. Holy shit those things are disturbing. For some reason I see those and I instinctively smell vinegar.

I've got those toe shoes and they are great to run around with.... right up till you hit your toe on something and then you kind of appreciate the full coverage and front bumper that a shoe gives you.

 

[AIAW]

Okay, so how do you feel about socks with individual toes? What if we added them to the crocs with minivan equation? Surely something is going to cancel. Right?

The minivan is pretty bad on it's own. Then again if someone knows how to drive one decent I could give a damn what the driver is wearing. I try not to judge until they do something stupid, then all is fair game!

Toe socks though - hmmm, better if they are Japanese so it's authentic.

 

[AIAW]

I've got those toe shoes and they are great to run around with.... right up till you hit your toe on something and then you kind of appreciate the full coverage and front bumper that a shoe gives you.

Oh man don't tell me that! I guess as long as you don't try to pick things up with them on it's ok

 

[Olen_4504]

Side note: I learned recently after not understanding them, that the main purpose of those stickers is SUPPOSED to be for emergency responders in case there is an accident they know to look for a small child.

Carry on

 

[P-Squared]

I am waiting for delivery on (4) Nissan NV 2500 high roof vans. Do those qualify as mini vans? We could put an entire soccer team with their equipment in the back.

 

[Centuriator]

To the OP: Very cool story, please tell another.

I have a huge truck that wastes fuel and costs we way more than I need to pay, but hey, I'm cool and all, ok? I almost hit a mini-van. I posted my story on a gun forum.

You rock. LOL.

 

[kl3309]

Condoms prevent minivans...

That's T-shirt worthy.

 

[kl3309]

Very cool story, please tell another.

I shot a Glock once.
Happy?

 

[AIAW]

Side note: I learned recently after not understanding them, that the main purpose of those stickers is SUPPOSED to be for emergency responders in case there is an accident they know to look for a small child.

Carry on

A lot of good those suction cups are going to do holding it onto the window if the glass is gone. EMS should look for a child-seat, or toys and candy stuffed down between the seats and all over the carpet.

 

[Zeroit]

If you get rid of the rat containers lay the seats down it might make a good range vehicle. Scratch that you would be too distracted by your ammo and high dollar bangsticks sliding around because you didn't buckle them in properly. And forgot the baby onboard placcard.

 

[AIAW]

I am waiting for delivery on (4) Nissan NV 2500 high roof vans. Do those qualify as mini vans? We could put an entire soccer team with their equipment in the back.

No those are cool. They also typically don't look like this on the inside...

 

[Centuriator]

Love all the he-man virtue signalling. When our four children were young we had a top-of-the-line Chrysler minivan and it was fantastic. All we have here is a guy with his he-man big truck virtue signalling. I'm not impressed.

 

[D_TROS]

Gotta admit, I was very anti-minivan until I got one for my woman. Now I love the thing. I want one for a match van.

-Great MPG,
-beer holders on every door/window
-phone chargers everywhere
-automatic sliding doors
-reclining seats in the middle row
-room for days (easy 4 guys and rifles)
-can turn on a dime and give 5 cents change
-pretty torquey little guys

disclaimer - if im not driving it stay the f away lol woman drivers.
- if I am driving it, GTFOMW


ha
GL,
DT

 

[W54/XM-388]

The next step up from Minivan in bad female driver stakes is the SUV. All the bad driving of a Minivan but with a feeling of being invincible in your "rugged" vehicle so you can get into twice as much trouble for twice the price with less ability to brake and steer.

 

[AIAW]

Love all the he-man virtue signalling. When our four children were young we had a top-of-the-line Chrysler minivan and it was fantastic. All we have here is a guy with his he-man big truck virtue signalling. I'm not impressed.

No he-man virtue-signaling here. It's simply statistics that no one can drive a minivan worth a shit. I'm sure they are a treat to ride in if one has a boat-load of children to wagon around in one. It's the driver that makes any vehicle shitty, and so far I've yet to witness a minivan driver that was scared to death to be in the drivers' seat. Left, right, brakes... "oh no I have no clue what to do although I've been driving for 30+ years".

Could give a shit if you are or are not impressed though. I don't live to serve your tender feelings.

 

[Centuriator]

Anyone driving around a Ford F-450 and feeling a need to broadcast the fact is compensating. LOL.

 

[Precisiondada]

There’s a point in life when minivans are extremely convenient. Basically when the kids are under 10. It really sucks to have to lift multiple children into an SUV

 

[AIAW]

Anyone driving around a Ford F-450 and feeling a need to broadcast the fact is compensating. LOL.

No, I stated that because it's heavy and not the easiest vehicle to stop in a moments notice. It's my tow vehicle, which was where I was coming back from. The toy-hauler needed it's yearly inspection and I had just dropped it off at storage.

If I was still coupled up to that 40-foot RV she would be in the hospital or dead right now. Witnesses would have came to my aid most likely in court, but not after a stupid battle.

Not my daily driver vehicle either...

 

[W54/XM-388]

Something you might think about, if you don't already do it, is running front and rear dash cams.
Decent ones are about $100 to $120 on Amazon and then for extra bonus points buy an adapter that plugs into your cell phone that can play the microSD cards from the camera (you should also probably load VLC media player or something like that on your phone & test it all out).

It will help a lot the next time some idiot pulls out in front of you and stops suddenly & you can't stop in time.

It's a whole different thing when the police investigating the accident come over to ask your side of the story and you just pull out your phone and say here, watch what happened...

Also when you go to see your lawyer & show them the video, they will be rather pleased at having a slam dunk case.

Just one note, make sure you turn OFF the GPS/Speed display imprinting video as well as the audio, neither of those will ever help you and will only be used by the other side to muddy things up. If you need to prove your speed, you can do it other ways. (Unless for something about your job or such you need to have a record of the speed you were going at to deal with idiots doing false complaints or such).

 

[kenny1773]

eh minivans have their purpose, I have one, only drive it when I have to (kids and sports or kids and long trips) it is a 'extra' vehicle for me at this point in time.

I understand minivans and bad drivers seem to find each other, but not everyone in a minivan is a bad driver

 

[Centuriator]

I'm glad the OP shared his tale of woe and I hope he has found relief and comfort from the sharing of it.

Yes, there are bad drivers out there.

Drive accordingly.

 

[Clearlight]

I have noticed certain brands of van seem worse than others for patterns of behaviour.
Round here, Holden (GM) Captiva's and older model KIA's flip me into def con 1; I
expect them to try and run into me. Used to be Volvo drivers but not so much anymore.

 

[W54/XM-388]

I understand minivans and bad drivers seem to find each other, but not everyone in a minivan is a bad driver

True, just like not everyone that drives a Prius is a Smug virtue signalling SJW that loves the smell of their own farts (taken from Southpark).

 

[AIAW]

Something you might think about, if you don't already do it, is running front and rear dash cams.
Decent ones are about $100 to $120 on Amazon and then for extra bonus points buy an adapter that plugs into your cell phone that can play the microSD cards from the camera (you should also probably load VLC media player or something like that on your phone & test it all out).

It will help a lot the next time some idiot pulls out in front of you and stops suddenly & you can't stop in time.

It's a whole different thing when the police investigating the accident come over to ask your side of the story and you just pull out your phone and say here, watch what happened...

Also when you go to see your lawyer & show them the video, they will be rather pleased at having a slam dunk case.

Just one note, make sure you turn OFF the GPS/Speed display imprinting video as well as the audio, neither of those will ever help you and will only be used by the other side to muddy things up. If you need to prove your speed, you can do it other ways. (Unless for something about your job or such you need to have a record of the speed you were going at to deal with idiots doing false complaints or such).

Yeah, I need to get another one. I used to have one many years ago (just one of the one-hung-lo brands that was a gift) but the Texas heat got to it.

I do indeed need to make that a priority though. I would definitely disable as much OSD info as I could on it. Less text info, more video evidence.

 

[AIAW]

I'm glad the OP shared his tale of woe and I hope he has found relief and comfort from the sharing of it.

Yes, there are bad drivers out there.

Drive accordingly.

You read the thread title, you clicked it, you came in here and bitched.

We get it, you love minivans. My appolgies that your feelings were tattered and destroyed by my thread and just know that time heals all that ails us.

 

[Centuriator]

You read the thread title, you clicked it, you came in here and bitched.

We get it, you love minivans. My appolgies that your feelings were tattered and destroyed by my thread and just know that time heals all that ails us.

If you can't take some push-back, stop posting on the Internet. You do not scare me. Work on it.

 

[AIAW]

If you can't take some push-back, stop posting on the Internet. You do not scare me. Work on it.

I have no intentions of attempting to scare or successfully scaring anyone over the Internet.

But again, you mentioning those feelings that you do or don't have in every post. I'd work on that.

 

[Centuriator]

 

[abn31c]

You read the thread title, you clicked it, you came in here and bitched.

We get it, you love minivans. My appolgies that your feelings were tattered and destroyed by my thread and just know that time heals all that ails us.

It's what he does. He's a piece of shit basement dwelling fucktard. Your thread was jammed when he posted.

 

[abn31c]

If you can't take some push-back, stop posting on the Internet. You do not scare me. Work on it.

Funny you lecturing on not being able to take push back. ? you were gone for a bit, thought you met someone or something, guess you are still lonely.

 

[dirthead1]

You read the thread title, you clicked it, you came in here and bitched.

We get it, you love minivans. My appolgies that your feelings were tattered and destroyed by my thread and just know that time heals all that ails us.

He's only here to sell shit and stir the pot. This is the only firearms related forum he isn't permanently banned from.......yet. Just hold tight, it won't take long.

 

[Alphatreedog]

I drive the chick repelllent , so what. It hauls a fuck to o'guns and ammo , hay bails for bow and air soft , grappling dummy , bikes , fishing rods and my sorry ass .
In all honesty though I feel safer behind the wheel of my truck .

 

[AIAW]

He's entitled to his opinion, like we all are here. Freedom of Speech. I don't get upset "over the Internet". Never have. It's just that the whole Freedom of Speech thing that we have managed to keep alive here in our great country works in both directions - not just in the direction of someone's liking.

I just realized I need to edit the title though. It needs to specify the driver - not the vehicle itself. I meant to edit that originally. This thread truly is about the driver - not the body-style!

 

[hermosabeach]

Try riding a motorcycle with all the A holes on their phones....

 

[W54/XM-388]

Try riding a motorcycle with all the A holes on their phones....

Add motorcycles, solid barriers on the shoulder for road construction and women driving SUVs while on their phone and you have the recipe for things going rather badly...

 

[TxWelder35]

Minivan is the equivalent of wearing a fanny pack. Sure it's convenient and useful but really do you want to be caught wearing one?

 

[Centuriator]

If you worry about what people think based on what you drive, you probably need some hormone therapy treatment.