Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

[Lawless]

You sound like you would be a total jackass as a landlord.


The tenant is telling you that the fan is making noise, and not just a ticking noise. Even though, it appears, the landlord had not cleaned up around it, serviced the unit regularly, checking pressures, cleaning it out, cleaning the fins, providing a level, clean pad for it to sit on, and now the fan is making noise. I'm guessing it could be a fan blade with a stress fracture ($75), motor ($100) or broken ($125) or loose mounts($5?) but you called throwing a rock on top to dampen the "real issue" the right thing to do. Them when the fan fries/ the systen shuts down (and you are nowhere to be located for days), and you have to fix it while it's 100 degrees in the shade (bitching the whole time).

How thee fuck would you conclude/ call this a $2000 repair or even that the tenant wanted a new unit.

You would probably blame them/ threaten to evict them if the fan motor would have failed without them telling you it was making noise.

If you were my landlord, you would find that rock firmly planted on your windshield when you were called out for a reinspect of the same issue.

I'm that guy.

 

[johnnycat]

View attachment 8291014
Did you know there is a piece of fossilized Viking poop so well-preserved, one paleoscatologist called it as “precious as the crown jewels.” Archaeologists have dated the dung back to the ninth century, when what’s now York, England, was ruled by Norse warrior-kings.
This coprolite (fossilized feces) was discovered in 1972 in York under what was to become a local bank. It has been named the Lloyds Bank coprolite, or more colloquially, the Lloyds Bank turd.
Paleoscatologists determined that the human who deposited this now-renowned, seven-inch specimen had a diet of meat and bread.
The poop is on display in the museum section of the Jorvik Viking Centre inside a glass box.

Are you shitting me?

I'm a few days late, but am I the first to reply with this? Y'all are slipping

 

[Lawless]

Working on new digs for Jurassic Park….

Will have vertical deck board siding and a hinged top.
Nesting boxes on the short side.

Will sit where the 2 barrels are now.

 

[Lawless]

 

[Lawless]

 

[Lawless]

I knew this already. Movie is based right here in Surry Co NC and Carrol Co VA

 

[lyman]

So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the employee that wants $15 an hour "monitors" and then this happened.
Her - why are you double bagging all of your groceries?
Me - excuse me?
Her - you are wasting our bags!
Me - if you don't like the way I'm bagging the groceries, feel free to come on over here and bag them yourself.
Her - that's not my job!
Me - okay, then I will bag my groceries how I please if that's all right with you.
Her - why are you using two bags?!
Me - because the bags are weak and I don't want the handles to break or the bottoms to rip out.
Her - well, that's because you are putting too much stuff in the bag. If you took half of that stuff out and put it in a different bag, then you wouldn't need to double bag.
*10 seconds of me just staring at her.
Me - so you want me to split these items in half and put half of them in a different bag so that I don't have to double bag.
Her - exactly.
Me - so I would still be using two bags to hold the same number of items.
Her - no, because you wouldn't be double bagging.
*me pressing two fingers to my left eye in an attempt to make it stop twitching.
Me - okay, so here I have a jug of milk and a bottle of juice double bagged.
If I take the milk out and remove the double bagging and just put the milk in the single bag and the juice in that single bag, I'm still using two bags for these two items.
Her- no, because you are not double bagging them, so it's not the same number of bags.
*me looking around at about 10 other customers who at this point are enjoying the show.
Me- is this like that Common Core math stuff I keep hearing about?
Her- never mind, you just don't get it.

And with that, she went back to her little Podium so she could continue texting or playing games on her phone or whatever it was she was doing before she decided to come over and critique my bagging skils.

just as another point of view,, sorta,


I have had similar situations when I was in the Grocery biz, and had folks tell me thier kid would make a much better employee,,
each time I hired 'thier kid' , most did not make it past the 90 day probationary period,

fuss all you want about that clerk,, but she was probably one of a few that passed the drug screen/ background check, and her parents are likely dumber than she is

 

[Rthur]

I knew this already. Movie is based right here in Surry Co NC and Carrol Co VA

Here we have the actor cast as Kunte Kinte in a rewrite of Alex Haley's Roots.
Wonder why this isn't on the table...

R

 

[Keith E.]

View attachment 8292847

FAFO family portrait.

Keith

 

[sirhrmechanic]

 

[sirhrmechanic]

 

[sirhrmechanic]

Not dangerous enough, I had to modify mine a bit:
View attachment 8293014

Well you're officially nuts! Which is par for the course around here!

Glad you survived.

Sirhr

 

[armorpl8chikn]

View attachment 8292847

Not a good representation.
No TJ Swan, no Boones Farm

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

Not a good representation.
No TJ Swan, no Boones Farm

Nothing ever is good enough for you is it?

 

[sirhrmechanic]

Nothing ever is good enough for you is it?

Certainly not the wine you drink... Jesis...

SIrhr

 

[LegioX]

Marines perhaps.

Sleeves are rolled the way God intended men to roll them.

Think most Marines wore steel pots than too though.

We got our kevlars in ‘86 iirc. Still had ceramic flak jackets then as well.

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

 

[sirhrmechanic]

We got our kevlars in ‘86 iirc. Still had ceramic flak jackets then as well.

Pretty sure all the pictures I've seen of Marines on Grenada... they had Kevlar's... And they still had 151 Mutts with Recoilless Rifles or TOW's in them. One of the few times when the Marines got something 'first' was the Fritz helmet.

Cheers,

Sirhr

 

[pmclaine]

We got our kevlars in ‘86 iirc. Still had ceramic flak jackets then as well.

Kevlar in PI July-October 86

Steel Pots in ITS Nov-Dec 86

 

[LegioX]

Pretty sure all the pictures I've seen of Marines on Grenada... they had Kevlar's... And they still had 151 Mutts with Recoilless Rifles or TOW's in them. One of the few times when the Marines got something 'first' was the Fritz helmet.

Cheers,

Sirhr

I don’t doubt it. We we’re sec forces and got our shit last.

 

[sirhrmechanic]

View attachment 8293237

First time I rode/drove 'anything' over 100 MPH was a friend's KZ1100 Spectre. That was about 1980. Had a drivers license at 15 but no motorcycle endorsement because Agriculture License could be issued at 15 for farm kids. But you couldn't get a MC endorsement until 16. So I rode the Spectre 'illegally.' Holy shit How did I make it out of High School... much less the next 25 years???

Sirhr

 

[pmclaine]

We got our kevlars in ‘86 iirc. Still had ceramic flak jackets then as well.

Pretty sure all the pictures I've seen of Marines on Grenada... they had Kevlar's... And they still had 151 Mutts with Recoilless Rifles or TOW's in them. One of the few times when the Marines got something 'first' was the Fritz helmet.

Cheers,

Sirhr

Sleeve roll is the key. Those are Marines.

Army would have called a timeout and gave a class on how to NBC roll your cammies before continuing the battle.

 

[LegioX]

Sleeve roll is the key. Those are Marines.

Army would have called a timeout and gave a class on how to NBC roll your cammies before continuing the battle.

You are correct!

 

[The D]

Mmmmmm… Eating too much cookie dough is my favorite way to get sick

 

[sirhrmechanic]

^^^ That's Corian abuse. Probably put Miracle Whip in whatever pineapple-fueled concoction you are photographing...

 

[The D]

^^^ That's Corian abuse. Probably put Miracle Whip in whatever pineapple-fueled concoction you are photographing...

I could be down for some sort of pineapple infused cookies but take your miracle whip the fuck away from my kitchen

 

[mosin46]

She never did anything for me but if you like flat as a board, butter faced ... go Fap away.

List of TOP 50 Sex Symbols in 1970s:
1-Ursula Andress
2-Anita Ekberg
3-Julie Newmar
4-June Wilkinson
5-Tina Louise
6-Claudia Cardinale
7-Natalie Wood
8-Stella Stevens
9-Elke Sommer
10-Sophia Loren
11-Brigitte Bardot
12-Barbara Eden
13-Virna Lisi
14-Ann-Margret
15-Eartha Kitt
16-Elizabeth Montgomery
17-Catherine Deneuve
18-Diana Rigg
19-Jane Fonda
20-Shirley Eaton
21-Honor Blackman
22-Raquel Welch
23-Yvonne Craig
24-Nancy Kovack
25-Jane Birkin
26-Susan Strasberg
27-Anna Karina
28-Monica Vitti
29-Julie Christie
30-Senta Berger
31-Linda Harrison
32-Faye Dunaway
33-Britt Ekland
34-Barbara Windsor
35-Jacqueline Bisset
36-Jane Seymour
37-Isabelle Adjani
38-Cheryl Ladd
39-Farrah Fawcett
40-Maria Schneider
41-Catherine Bach
42-Ingrid Pitt
43-Cybill Shepherd
44-Lynda Carter
45-Olivia Newton-John
46-Loni Anderson
47-Suzanne Somers
48-Lauren Hutton
49-Barbara Bach
50-Ewa Aulin

raquel and ursula for the win. no angie dickenson?

 

[Slash0311]

Looks like engineered stone or man-made quartz instead of Corian... just sayin...

 

[mosin46]

On the subject of which...

View attachment 8292922

https://www.rockislandauction.com/detail/51/3551/jeffery-w-j-and-co-ltd-double-rifle-600-ex

Sirhr

and ammo $20/r min

 

[sirhrmechanic]

Looks like engineered stone or man-made quartz instead of Corian... just sayin...

Well, he probably can't afford 'real' Corian.

Go be poor somewhere else.

Sirhr

 

[Longshot231]

 

[The D]

Looks like engineered stone or man-made quartz instead of Corian... just sayin...

Quartz, I believe. We bought the house about 10yrs ago with that countertop already installed

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

I could be down for some sort of pineapple infused cookies but take your miracle whip the fuck away from my kitchen

 

[Lawless]

Miracle Whip is the fumunda cheese from Satan’s testes.

Duke’s Mayo is the King.

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

 

[Longshot231]

Long video but worth listening to. Just an average guy living in extraordinary circumstances.

 

[Downtown]

First time I rode/drove 'anything' over 100 MPH was a friend's KZ1100 Spectre. That was about 1980. Had a drivers license at 15 but no motorcycle endorsement because Agriculture License could be issued at 15 for farm kids. But you couldn't get a MC endorsement until 16. So I rode the Spectre 'illegally.' Holy shit How did I make it out of High School... much less the next 25 years???

Sirhr

Same story, except a '75 Z1 900.

 

[theLBC]

 

[DuneBoer]

 

[LeftyJason]

I like miracle whip occasionally on sandwiches. Don't own any currently. Some things can't be done with it though.

My 37th birthday yesterday. Wife made my families homemade birthday cake for me. Chocolate date cake. Moist and rich but not too rich that you can't eat a whole row.

 

[sirhrmechanic]

I like miracle whip occasionally on sandwiches. Don't own any currently. Some things can't be done with it though.

My 37th birthday yesterday. Wife made my families homemade birthday cake for me. Chocolate date cake. Moist and rich but not too rich that you can't eat a whole row.
View attachment 8293468View attachment 8293470

37???

Damn kids…

Sirhr

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

 

[MrSmith]

Same story, except a '75 Z1 900.

Exactly that bike, but it was the second time. The first was in a '66 Chrysler Newport.

Thank you,
MrSmith

 

[sirhrmechanic]

View attachment 8293503

Damn kids have no idea what a vinyl LP is…

Sirhr

 

[Modoc]

View attachment 8293503

I’ve still got a rotary phone around here for emergencies, and it works too!

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

Damn kids have no idea what a vinyl LP is…

Sirhr

Making a trip down to Cent Wise drugstore for a new phonograph needle.

 

[SONIC SAAMI]

 

[Jperk0278]

Eastern Ohio. Yesterday morning.

 

[Keith E.]

Not a good representation.
No TJ Swan, no Boones Farm

That's JV wines, yo.

Keith