Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

Any TX bros here? Y’all ready?

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We're here in Bell Co. (central TX) and we're ready. Hell, we were ready then. We were out of power for 6 days but have propane camp stove and grill/smoker, percolater coffee pot, lots of batteries and candles and warm clothes. We heated water in a big crab cooker pot so we could at least take PTA baths. Had and have plenty of food stocked. I did have to drive into Temple and found some dry ice to keep our freezer cold and a lot of fridge stuff we just put in coolers and set them outside on our patio and all was good, Hell it was down around 20 degrees.
I don't recall our house inside getting much below 50.
 
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Some years ago central Arkansas had a bugger of an ice storm. Television channels of course were interviewing folks in Little Rock about their plight. After a few days, a crew got outside of town and made made it to a rural community, of course looking for a guy in a mobile home. I was rolling on the floor when they asked how was he able to keep his food cold without the refrigerator working. He pointed to a couple of coolers and a bank of snow with his food. Told the wife, that they found a dangerous man… he had common sense.

Knew a guy who worked at an electric co-op. During an ice storm, a friend called and asked how long the food in the refrigerator would last. He asked if the guy was looking in the refrigerator, when he said yes, he was told “longer if you close the damned door”.
 
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We got some cold nights coming but 8* is a long way from 20s


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Moving wildlife is a crime in most places.
Why did you let your chickens play with matches?

I was out back walking to my "range" and there is a feather laying on the ground....I picked it up and put it on my motorcycle. That is a crime as well I found out later. Lets hope my assigned FBI and IRS agents have a full case load.
 
I just realized I had my AC on still...(it is a bit nippy out). Going to keep my fingers crossed. I was supposedly on a line that that couldn't be shut off for some reason 2021. Hope it still applies.

I have a friend in TX that manages an old folks home. He had to fill out some paperwork to make sure his place did not loose power for too long. They have a gen, but it only has fuel for 4 days I think he said. They have medical staff there for all kinds of "old people" issues, and they will die if they don't have power to run the machines.

Bet Bill Gates is working on hacking that database to get rid of those "useless eaters".
 
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Most people don't believe that you have to floor board the gas and hit the manual trailer brake to get it straightened out. Gut reaction is to hit the brakes. When that's the wrong thing to do.
I sold my thirty foot travel trailer to a girl with a Honda pilot. I explained how her vehicle was going to react when a tractor trailer was passing her and not to panic. She hadn't ever towed anything and was going from TN to Houston Texas with it. A couple days later she texted me that her trip was fine and the tip worked.
Camper got away from em.

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The founding fathers were fucking Gangsta!!!

Preach it motherfuckers! History is fucking dope, Homies. Fucking Dope!

Sihrr
It would have been better if it happened in 'Jersey'. Then it would have been a 'Fu$k Me?, no Fu$k you'. Thrown the tea in the harbor, burned the ships to the waterline, and broken a lot of legs.
 
Oh I am not including any "Santa" movies... Home Alone... Bad Santa... Elf... Christmas Vacation... Those are well-known and accepted. I merely include the "Good" movies that we can all enjoy here.

SIrhr

PS... Christmas Vacation is a Good movie. Awesome, in fact. So... not against Christmas movies. But if folks want to foist Hallmark's "Wheelchair Gimp non-binary Muslim Christmas from the Coalmine" on us as Christmas Movies... I am damn sure including "On her Majesty's Secret Service." So There. Neener neener neener...

Not usually on the Christmas menu, although at the end it is the Yuletide season



Movie clips and trailer so the ADHD set can, sadly, watch it all and miss the great work of Coburn, Cambridge and others.

 
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This guy is crazy. But what's crazier are the skunks and trash pandas at the end:



Flamethrowers were invented for a reason.

I'm wondering, if skunks normally feed on wasp nests, do they not get stung, or do the stings not bother them?

Skunks are cool critters had one chasing an opossum in the back yard several years ago. It was hilarious, the opossum would pass out in convulsions, the skunk would sit there and watch it, then when the opossum "woke up" the chase was on again...went on for almost an hour.
 
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I'm wondering, if skunks normally feed on wasp nests, do they not get stung, or do the stings not bother them?

Skunks are cool critters had one chasing an opossum in the back yard several years ago. It was hilarious, the opossum would pass out in convulsions, the skunk would sit there and watch it, then when the opossum "woke up" the chase was on again...went on for almost an hour.
There are several skunks that live around where I work. I’ve been in several Mexican stand-offs with baby skunks. Never thought I’d be so wary of something so cute and that weighs only 1% of my body weight
 
There are several skunks that live around where I work. I’ve been in several Mexican stand-offs with baby skunks. Never thought I’d be so wary of something so cute and that weighs only 1% of my body weight
I was standing outside in the back yard having a beer and a Marlboro for the first 10 minutes of the opossum/skunk shenanigans. They ran passed me about 2-3 feet away more than once doing their circles. I just stood there laughing. When the opossum passed out off the back of the patio, I went back in the house for another beer, woke up my daughters and wife to come look through the back windows to watch. We were all laughing pretty hard by the 30 minute mark.

Edit add: nobody had camera phones back then like today, probably 2004 or 2005 at the time. We had a 8mm video camera somewhere in the house, never bothered trying to get it on tape.
 
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