Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)
- Thread starter Lawless
- Start date
This is why we need a "shaking my head " emoji
I will see your pineapple and raise you….
Almost time for these little buzz bombs to reappear…
Saw a fun fact about them… they weigh about as much as a nickel. To maintain their metabolism they need to take in 5-8 calories a day.
Scaled up to human size, they would require about 850,000 calories a day.
That is 188 large pizzas (with pineapple) and 188 2 L bottles of Coke a day.
Sirhr
I will see your pineapple and raise you….
The TV show bionic woman was kind of corny.
Lindsey Wagner was the Bionic Woman. I think this pic is of Elizabeth Montgomery. Not sure though........
But, I could look at her all day
Lindsey Wagner was the Bionic Woman. I think this pic is of Elizabeth Montgomery. Not sure though........
But, I could look at her all day
- Nov 3, 2010
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Watched a school bus stop no the tracks yesterday in SC. Not a clue on the world , luckily no kids on bus
When I was a kid, I watched too many television episodes of “Combat.”
That was the genesis of my idea. For quite a few months, I saved up my mother’s empty hair spray cans. They were empty of that chemical compound that women apply to their hair but not the compressed air and propellant.
I did not stop with Mom’s hairspray cans, I lifted the darn things wherever I could find them.
One of the bicycles we had was equipped with rear mounted baskets that strattled the rear wheel.
Back then we burned garbage in a can in the alley. Wednesday was burn day in our neighborhood. About 4-5 pm everyone set fire to their garbage.
I waited till almost sunset when everyone had burned their garbage but still have hot embers.
In commando fashion, I started at the uphill end of the alley so I could coast and concentrate on my timing. If I went too slow there was too much of a chance of getting stopped or recognized. I could not risk capture and interrogation.
If I was too fast, I could not retrieve the compressed ordnance from the storage container on the MPCV (Manually Powered Combat Vehicle) in order to rapidly drop it in each subsequent burn can.
I was proud of my 3rd grade math skills. There was approximately 45 feet between each burn can. I needed 6 seconds to remove the ordnance from the basket and drop it in the can. If my speed was too fast, I’d have to overfly the target. This was too critical of a mission to overfly any target. So by my calculations I needed to traverse the open terrain at 5 mph.
Don’t think that I wasn’t scared! SGT Saunders wouldn’t approve of me backing out of this mission. Besides, nobody else in the squad could take my place. Kirby would bitch too much. Littlejohn was too clumsy. Nobody else was considered expendable.
Keep in mind that I rehearsed this all the while I was pilfering the volatile little containers of mass destruction. I would ride down the alley every evening that I could, close to dark, to keep Mrs. Kravitz from thinking that I was up to no good.
My timing was perfect. H-hour was at 2100, 04AUG1966. At the top of the hill I waited, synchronized my watch, looked both directions and checked the axis of the attack. Any enemy personnel in the area would now be inside for the evening.
I must admit that I was as nervous as Sad Sac on a Higgins boat approaching the beach. It was too quiet. Oh but don’t forget about Mrs. Kravitz!
A few days before operation “Hairspray,” I stopped the rehearsal. That way if she was watching me, she would now be comfortable with the idea that I was not about.
The tires on the MPCV were aired and the chain well oiled. The brakes were checked although I would not need them until the end of the raid and I was out of sight.
With a push, I was off! A couple of downstrokes on the pedals and my speed was perfect. All I needed to do was coast down hill. Each piece of ordnance was removed from the containers and dropped in the burn can without a hitch. It’s been a long time but I think it was about 30 hairspray “bombs.”
Nobody saw me. Like a a ghostly ninja gliding down from the clouds I infiltrated and exfiltrated as quietly as a mouse fart.
After the last piece of ordnance was deposited I stopped about a hundred yards further down the alley at the post-strike base. The entire run was about 3.5 minutes.
Then it started! With a booms and whooshing each hairspray bomb was expelled like a Saturn V rocket to the heavens. The surly bonds of gravity were torn and the twilight bliss wrecked with shouts of wonderment and fear. People were running out of their homes or to the windows to find out what the successive booms and whooshing was all about.
The entire ruckus sounded like either a Nebelwerfer or Katayusha rocket launcher going off.
It was a good thing that I was a cute kid back then, for I have remained above suspicion to this day. It’s only now that my mission has been declassified and I can talk about it. Book to follow with limited autographed copies available for a small extra charge.
Some of your posts are just like watching CNN for news. But, there are those that watch CNN. Carry on.
Thank you,
MrSmith
Back when the term "Land Yacht" had meaning
You just keep being you.
Nobody on here hast to like you.
Okay I'm stumped. Who is she? And don't tell me that she's your wife!
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