One of my personal favorites is working “This Dick” into my replies. That gets many eye rolls.
Reply in song lyrics
Reply in song lyrics
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How many days on the sofa or in the garage for that one? ??Looked at an old picture one day: accidentally slipped and said, “And you thought you looked fat before.”.....moral of the story- think then speak.
Oh owch lol damn manWhen doing it doggie style is my favorite. She always ask why I like it better because I don’t have to look at her face? My reply your face, your ass, what’s the difference?
Still counting, forgot what a mattress feels like.How many days on the sofa or in the garage for that one? ??
When doing it doggie style is my favorite. She always ask why I like it better because I don’t have to look at her face? My reply your face, your ass, what’s the difference?
Why would that piss her off?Wanna get a pizza and fuck?
Guess she doesn’t like pizzaWhy would that piss her off?
I farted in a woman’s face while she was blowing me.
HahahahahahahaMy all-time favorite and the resulting mushroom cloud over her head was:
She goes off for a couple minutes, telling me all that was wrong with me, why I needed to change, what I needed to change, and her expectations.
Once she took a breath, I asked her, “Is that all you wanted to say?”
Her: “I believe that about covers it”
I responded with, “Well, I want you to know I absolutely agree with you and you are 100% right about everything you said. However, do you realize.......that if all of this wasn’t wrong with me, I could have gotten a WAY better wife?”
Try that one sometime and let me know how it goes. LOL!
Zig zag zig zag, keep her guessingI love some of these comments but I could never say that to my wife. I have seen her shoot and I am a fat boy and can't run that fast.
Doggystyle is our favorite. Once, "Shake that ass for big daddy" came out as "Shake that big ass for daddy". Activity ceased and discussion ensued.
She has a big ass, knows she has a big ass, and knows I love it. I don't see the problem.
Wife does that to me all the time. Really gets pissed when I ask which of her hot friends I was banging while she was doing my laundry!There was this one woman I once knew.
She told me one day that she was pissed off at me over something I did in a dream of hers and that's why she was being mean to me all day.
You simply can't win sometimes HA!
Exactly this for my wife. 20 years now. I could never replace her.I try to not intentionally piss of the wife. Or be rude for the hell of it. She is extremely well mannered and doesn't complain about me having rough edges. Plus shes been pretty good to me for that last 19 years. I know one sure fire way to set her off though and I avoid it. Ask her to "calm down" about anything. Bad decision! As for foul profanity in front of here, she deserves more respect than that.
I have been married for 45 years and we were shacked up for 1 to see if the round peg would fit the square hole.
Well, it fit alright so here we are.
We have rattlesnakes in our area so if she is getting after me verbally, I will ask her, "Are you rattling?" meaning a warning.
The piss off is on then and she will say,"Damn right dipshit." Then I better listen.
I call her "My Old Lady" or "My Squaw" and she calls me her "Old Man" and on occasion "The Foul One." if she is talking to someone who doesn't know us and she wants to let them know what they are up against. ALL terms of endearment.
I love my wife and we are into this until Death do us part.
I don't understand why anyone would push the buttons just to piss someone off yet I see it around me and they fight all of the time yet we never fight.
I took a long time to find "The Right One" and I did find Her at the end of that long search.
It is fun to look at the Libtards faces when we are out and about and talking and "Old Lady, Squaw" or "Old Foul Man" comes up and we go on our merry way as we leave and their jaws have dropped. They don't get it.
I always tell everyone when I leave them, "I hope you get a little." Very few know how nice of a thing that is to say to someone. FM
Help me out here. Is your dick on your ass or your asshole on your stomach?![]()
There was this one woman I once knew.
She told me one day that she was pissed off at me over something I did in a dream of hers and that's why she was being mean to me all day.
You simply can't win sometimes HA!
Fucking classic, we've all been there.I farted in a woman’s face while she was blowing me. She slapped me and left.
Funny thing is, the next day she called to apologize for overreacting and she wanted to make it up to me. We did the big nasty that night.
I love when they ask, but never were actually giving you a choice.Sure...she hates it when I reply Sure to anything. It's usually when I dont care and/or she asks me a question and answers it for me in the same sentence. i.e.:
Her: What do you want for dinner tonight...does chicken sound good, I'm going to grill some?
Me: Sure
Her: Why can't you say Yes or No or that sounds really good...you know I can't stand it when you say SURE, never mind...I'm grilling chicken.
I used to date that bitch. She would dream i did something and wake up pissed off at me. Fuckin psycho bitchThere was this one woman I once knew.
She told me one day that she was pissed off at me over something I did in a dream of hers and that's why she was being mean to me all day.
You simply can't win sometimes HA!