I Need Advice Guys.

[Strykervet]

So it's been one year since my wife left me, 20th of December said she was going to work, last time I saw her. Several of you I'm sure recall this, several of you saved my ass and even covered the attorney so I could get one in time. I'm eternally grateful. We got divorced a few months later and I haven't heard from her. Until today. The anniversary of the day she left. And it wasn't her exactly, it was the property mgt. that I rent the house through. They said she wants to sell the house and wants to offer it to me first. That's great, it's just the price is way beyond anything I can afford, nor is the house remotely worth that given the state it's in.

On top of that, the divorce agreement says that she has to rent the house to me for two years at a stated rate. This would put me in the house until April 2020. I'm alone up here, disabled for the most part so I can't just move on my own, can't afford it anyway. Been saving, yeah, did buy a few things to build credit, so I've been working on it, but I don't have the money to just get up and move willy nilly. We're not even one year into it yet and she wants to sell it.

I wouldn't mind buying the property but not at the price she wants. It's not worth it and I couldn't afford that anyway. The house needs work I'd planned on doing, didn't because of the divorce. A lot of the work she's not privy to, she neglected it and really doesn't even know the condition of the place. When we were married she didn't care. The foundation is slowly sinking on one of the house. Carpet and paint need to be replaced. It needs new gutters and it'll need a new roof soon; old one will have to be removed. The yard has a serious issue where all trees of a certain species are dying off. So I'm surrounded by some 70' trees that'll need to be taken down. That's not cheap either.

What do I do? I fired off an email to the property management saying that she knows I can't afford that and that the agreement was for two years and I'm not willing to break my end of the agreement. I also fired one off to the attorney that handled the divorce to ask them for advice. So I think I'm doing the right things here. Bottom line is that according to a court order, I can stay here at $1425 per month, not to change, for two years. The first year's lease was signed in April. So I should have the house until sometime in the first quarter of 2020, can't be sure if I have it until April 2020 or January 2020.

So what do I do? Can she sell this from under me? I'm not in the condition to move, I can't really afford moving right now, plan was to save for two years and build credit while I stayed here, then move. I'm saving and building credit but it's just not enough or fast enough. The disabilities make it damn near impossible to move and I'm probably having surgery next month followed by another so I'll basically be recovering for most of 2019 if both surgeries go through. I do have a friend that's coming by later today to talk, he and his cousin would be the only help I have to move if I have to.

Wouldn't by any chance any of you have a decently price property in WA state to sell? I can probably swing a $200,000 loan, max. To rent? To oversee and maintain, to secure? Security is my niche. Maybe in the mountains, the country? I can't be too picky.

So what should I do? Should/could I put a lien on the house because of the agreement? That even if she did sell it, the new owners would have to abide by the divorce agreement via the lien. Would it work that way? Or is there a better way?

I guess there's more to say but I'd rather let the conversation begin and go from there... So what say you? Any of you been down this path?

 

[Kadams1563]

Who’s name is the home insurance in???

?????

 

[TheBigCountry]

If it is indeed a court order that you are allowed to rent the place for two years, let the lawyer have at it? Also seems like a total cold-hearted move for her to do it the same day she dipped out

 

[Strykervet]

Who’s name is the home insurance in???

?????

It was in mine, but after the divorce it was put in her name. So I have renters insurance now.

I just don't know if I should try and get the price down and buy the place, or if I should, and how I would, enforce the court order allowing me to stay here 2 years.

 

[Redmanss]

The bulk of this is for discussion with an attorney, as you already know. They will be the one to tell you what your legal options are on that end, so I'm not going to even venture down that path further than to say you're like a tick in there and it is very long and difficult to get you out if you want to stay. It will happen eventually, but don't feel rushed if you really want to stay there. Again, a lawyer is where you need advice from though.

On the other end of things, I'd leave at first opportunity and don't let the "no help" thing hold you back because that isn't the case. I'll help, just send me a message and I'll burn miles and fly in there to be your muscle, you'd just have to have your move time period while I'm not working and I'll be there. Semper Fidelis doesn't stop at one branch of service, just say the word brother, and I'm sure I'm not the only one here would would gladly offer up the same. Anyhow, getting away from bad memories and starting fresh goes a long fucking way towards getting better, sure worked for me. Completely removing yourself from any kind of influence from your ex would be huge to moving on with your life.

Housing wise... Being on a fixed income and disability, I'd look to where you can stretch your money the furthest and I would think that would not be in the highly taxed PNW. Check into some locations with a VA in the area but lower cost of living, Wyoming and western South Dakota would be up there on my first search area for mountains and low cost of living, it's very much part of why I moved here. Just as an idea of what else is out there, I'm in a smaller home in a remote small town neighborhood but my rent and utilities combined come in under $900/mo, even while paying to heat the home in the winter. Hot Springs, SD has nice homes under $150k and a good VA in town, while being right smack in the middle of elk country. You could have your mortgage for less than your rent, easily, if you broaden your search area.

 

[Rthur]

If it is indeed a court order that you are allowed to rent the place for two years, let the lawyer have at it? Also seems like a total cold-hearted move for her to do it the same day she dipped out

This ^^^
Sad to say but some women aren't happy until they are kicking you in the face while they are living the life of Riley.
Any court costs should be requested as well.

R

 

[Nik H]

Wait for your attorney to respond. I am not an attorney but went through the divorce process. If there is a court order or agreement that is entered as official in the court, then she can't change it without a new trial. If she tries that and gets overruled, you will be covered for your expenses.

Best case is to work it out between the two of you but that was not possible on my side as she was a bitch on steroids

Good luck to you

 

[ForgeValley]

Have you checked into your ability to get a VA mortgage yet?

 

[Strykervet]

If it is indeed a court order that you are allowed to rent the place for two years, let the lawyer have at it? Also seems like a total cold-hearted move for her to do it the same day she dipped out

No shit, right! The whole thing last year was a giant fiasco and I owe it all to 'Hide members that I came out of it with what I have. She got the house, I basically got everything inside the house, but got to stay in it for two years.

It's a divorce agreement, pretty sure that and a court order are the same thing. I'll have to dig it out, but it's what lays out who gets what. We agreed, the lawyers entered it to the court. I'll go grab the copies in a second.

So moving? Yeah, can't do it, not alone. I have a friend and his cousin that most likely will help me. And I'll have to hire a safe mover anyway to move two safes and the reloading table. I'd had all this planned to start the third month of 2020, not the first month of 2019. I also wanted to build my credit and save more, so I really needed the two years.

I guess I'd like to buy it, but nowhere what she's asking, not with a sinking foundation and all these trees suddenly dying off. And if not, I'd like to be able to stay here according to the divorce agreement where she promised to rent this place for $1425, about $200 more than the mortgage, for two years which ends either beginning or end of January, March or April 2020, depending on which date you go by. She left just prior to January, March was the agreement, April was the lease date. Regardless, it's all in 2020.

 

[davsco]

well as afar as selling the house from underneath you, you certainly have a say in that in terms of meeting prospective buyers (keep the house not so clean, pull the for sale sign every time it goes up, tell any prospective buyers you will do all kinds of nasty stuff in the house, etc).

also when you see it listed in mls or whatever, you can contact the listing broker and show them your "lease" and again chances are they will not want to deal with a legal mess.

you should be able to record your 'lease' such that it gives constructive notice that you hold the lease and until when.

now, your divorce agmt might say you're entitled to lease the house for x months, but still she might be able to sell it with your lease still being in place and you staying there and paying the new owner whatever rent is stated in your divorce/lease agmt. basically the buyer would buy it subject to the lease.

best of luck with all this, sorry you're going thru it esp around the holidays.

 

[W54/XM-388]

That is something you need to find out from the lawyers.
If she legally has to let you rent the house till at least the beginning of 2020 then if you hold her to it, most likely you'll be able to stay.
However she may be able to go ahead and sell the house to another party, with the stipulation that you are renting at xxxx rate till 2020, it all depends on what your lawyer says she can and can't do.

I'm guessing she is needing a bunch of money in a hurry.

If you can find another place to buy, I'd suggest doing that just to spite her. You might even get her to pay you a bit back to be willing to move out instead of sticking there for 2 years.

Then she'll find out in quick order what the actual real value of the house is.
You might even buy it back later on after a bunch of prospective buyers find out the real problems in the house. (that's if you even want it).

If you can swing it, a clean break and getting some cash back from the evil female might be just perfect.

 

[shootist2004]

seems to me you are good till April. tell her to have the property appraised then she might realize the place isn't worth so much.

 

[Redmanss]

A couple years back I was renting in Virginia and the owners were deep under water on the home. I asked the rental mgmt company to make some minor repairs to the home, the owners responded by putting the house on the market six months into a year lease. I offered to buy the house at what was fair market value, they thought they could get $50k more and I laughed. I was nice at first to the realtor, but they never met the 24 hour notice and tried to demand I not be present in the home during showings, instead I turned asshole and didn't let them in for shit without prior notice and started wearing my holster for the showings, my home, my rules. I got out of that house with not having to pay the last month rent, getting my full deposit back, and watching that house sit vacant on the market for the next year and a half until it sold for $10k less than I offered to buy it for. Your situation is different, sure, but not by far.

If it's as shitty as you say, and not worth what they are asking, leave as soon as you can and watch her eat shit on the deal. Seriously, I'll be there to help you move your shit, near or far, I'm off for six day stretches every other week and could damn near get you to the other coast if that's what you wanted. I love helping other men stick it to bitch ex wives. Fucking cunts like that are evil...

 

[THEIS]

Hi,

Tell her she has to buy out the remainder of your rental contract and you will depart BUT make sure there is nothing in the agreement that says once she offered to sale you the house that she could do xyz IF you did not make the purchase. There has to be a reason the management company contacted you in exactly 1 year into the agreement......

Is there anything keeping you tied to the area you are in? Job, Family, Doctors, etc?

Sincerely,
Theis

 

[Jefe's Dope]

If someone breaks a contract, they would likely be on the hook for any financial losses occurred by that breach.

I 100% agree that an attorney is your best route today.

But we're here to tell you what a douche nozzle she's being.

 

[JimLee]

Burn it down and move into Motel 6, that's what I would do. Oops, faulty Christmas lights. You dont deal with cunts, you out-cunt them.

 

[W54/XM-388]

If it's as shitty as you say, and not worth what they are asking, leave as soon as you can and watch her eat shit on the deal. Seriously, I'll be there to help you move your shit, near or far, I'm off for six day stretches every other week and could damn near get you to the other coast if that's what you wanted. I love helping other men stick it to bitch ex wives. Fucking cunts like that are evil...

We need more men like you to help other men deal with the evil that is modern Communist SJW women.

 

[Mike Casselton]

The bulk of this is for discussion with an attorney, as you already know. They will be the one to tell you what your legal options are on that end, so I'm not going to even venture down that path further than to say you're like a tick in there and it is very long and difficult to get you out if you want to stay. It will happen eventually, but don't feel rushed if you really want to stay there. Again, a lawyer is where you need advice from though.

On the other end of things, I'd leave at first opportunity and don't let the "no help" thing hold you back because that isn't the case. I'll help, just send me a message and I'll burn miles and fly in there to be your muscle, you'd just have to have your move time period while I'm not working and I'll be there. Semper Fidelis doesn't stop at one branch of service, just say the word brother, and I'm sure I'm not the only one here would would gladly offer up the same. Anyhow, getting away from bad memories and starting fresh goes a long fucking way towards getting better, sure worked for me. Completely removing yourself from any kind of influence from your ex would be huge to moving on with your life.

Housing wise... Being on a fixed income and disability, I'd look to where you can stretch your money the furthest and I would think that would not be in the highly taxed PNW. Check into some locations with a VA in the area but lower cost of living, Wyoming and western South Dakota would be up there on my first search area for mountains and low cost of living, it's very much part of why I moved here. Just as an idea of what else is out there, I'm in a smaller home in a remote small town neighborhood but my rent and utilities combined come in under $900/mo, even while paying to heat the home in the winter. Hot Springs, SD has nice homes under $150k and a good VA in town, while being right smack in the middle of elk country. You could have your mortgage for less than your rent, easily, if you broaden your search area.

Hot springs is a nice town. Angostura reservoir is nearby if you like lake fishing. If not, head a bit north and fish for trout.
The grasslands are due east of hot springs and there's a ton of open land there and to the west. Plenty of places to shoot long range.
Elk and deer in the hills, antelope and deer in the prairie areas.

I lived in Rapid City for 12 years and Hot Springs would be on my short list of places to live.

 

[Xshot]

She can ask what ever she wants. If you're serious about staying, I would insist upon 2 - 3 independent appraisals using the actual sold price of properties in you local area. Lastly, a home inspection of the house, out buildings and property would indicate required maintenance or defects needing repair/replacement.

You can stipulate/negotiate how the purchase price is determined based on the results.

 

[oneshot86]

different states have different laws, but the only way she could sell the house AND have you move, regardless of her paying penalties, could, COULD, be her proving financial emergency.
also see what a liz pendens would do for you if you needed it

 

[MK20]

Number 1: you get to live there at stated rate for 2 years. Period. She can’t violate that agreement. She wants to sell it to you because it is financially advantageous to sell it vs rent it to you at probably below market rate. That is my guess. The way she left it doesn’t sound like she is really concerned for you too much.

Number 2: do you really want to live in WA state? I know I left as soon as I could and it hasn’t gotten any better since I left. Do you want to own that house with all those memories associated? I-5 traffic? Crime is up there too.

Number 3: if you are thinking about a house around 200k, my mom just bought one and remodeled it up here and ended up at about 205k. It’s a really nice little house with a great yard in a great neighborhood. Best of all, it’s in a free state where one county doesn’t rule with an iron fist. I PM’d you before about where I live and I assure you that for a vet on your income you could live happily and comfortably here.

Number 4: if you ever need help moving out this way PM me and we can work it out. I am not that far from you and have some friends that I need to visit over there anyway.

 

[Snipe260]

I would make her honor the court order all the while trying to get price down! Then when your one day away from your lease agreement there should be a huge fire with bellowing black smoke. Then tell her to fuck off as you move In with your sugar mama that you found during the process!

 

[jrassy]

Move the hell out of there, what's she gonna pull next year? There's a VA in CHEYENNE and Laramie is a half hour away. Denver is 2 hours away to another VA. I'm moving out there myself in 4 years. I hate excunts.

 

[mdmp5]

I’ve never met this woman but I hate and want to leg sweep her

 

[Blutroop]

I was Stryker 11b. What unit and years were you? My divorce was pretty messy. I haven’t been able to see my son in over 5 years.. anyways, you have the upper hand. If ya want the house get a appraisal or make her get 1. After the appraisal get a few estimates for repairs. Then make her a low offer. As cold hearted as she sounds, she probably just wants money and has no clue what it’s really worth. There is no way you can be forced out before the 2 year court order. She will find out how little it’s worth soon. Either before or after your gone. If you want the house just show her before you make a low ball offer. Make her finance it to you also.. if she isn’t willing to owner finance she will have to pay to get to a point someone will be able to get bank financing or sell it as a rehab/project. If you really want to turn up the heat, make her do “neccissary repairs” like the “safety concerns” I.e trees in danger of falling. Since your a renter and she is owner you can have some fun with that legal “relationship”. I’m currently unemployed and will give you a hand if ya need it. I don’t know yet how I will get down there but I will figure it out if you say you Want me.

 

[Blutroop]

I was Stryker 11b. What unit and years were you? My divorce was pretty messy. I haven’t been able to see my son in over 5 years.. anyways, you have the upper hand. If ya want the house get a appraisal or make her get 1. After the appraisal get a few estimates for repairs. Then make her a low offer. As cold hearted as she sounds, she probably just wants money and has no clue what it’s really worth. There is no way you can be forced out before the 2 year court order. She will find out how little it’s worth soon. Either before or after your gone. If you want the house just show her before you make a low ball offer. Make her finance it to you also.. if she isn’t willing to owner finance she will have to pay to get to a point someone will be able to get bank financing or sell it as a rehab/project. If you really want to turn up the heat, make her do “neccissary repairs” like the “safety concerns” I.e trees in danger of falling. Since your a renter and she is owner you can have some fun with that legal “relationship”. I’m currently unemployed and will give you a hand if ya need it. I don’t know yet how I will get down there but I will figure it out if you say you Want me.

And I figure this is the perfect time to put a shameless plug in for Alaska.. first off disabled vets get special vehicle plates, property tax exemption on your homestead, permanent hunting/fishing licence, etc. front row Home Depot parking, we have a few mountains, did I mention even the bears carry rifles up here? Lotta stuff to shoot. Plenty of native gals if you haven’t got your fix of crazy woman yet. Wide open winters, summers can get a little crowded with tourists though.

 

[QuickNDirty]

I was Stryker 11b. What unit and years were you? My divorce was pretty messy. I haven’t been able to see my son in over 5 years.. anyways, you have the upper hand. If ya want the house get a appraisal or make her get 1. After the appraisal get a few estimates for repairs. Then make her a low offer. As cold hearted as she sounds, she probably just wants money and has no clue what it’s really worth. There is no way you can be forced out before the 2 year court order. She will find out how little it’s worth soon. Either before or after your gone. If you want the house just show her before you make a low ball offer. Make her finance it to you also.. if she isn’t willing to owner finance she will have to pay to get to a point someone will be able to get bank financing or sell it as a rehab/project. If you really want to turn up the heat, make her do “neccissary repairs” like the “safety concerns” I.e trees in danger of falling. Since your a renter and she is owner you can have some fun with that legal “relationship”. I’m currently unemployed and will give you a hand if ya need it. I don’t know yet how I will get down there but I will figure it out if you say you Want me.

WA is pretty far away from me, but I'd love to head that way just to see some shit I haven't seen before.

What would your gas bill be?

Oh wait, no... It'd be cheaper to get me there from TX than get you there from AK I think.

Nevermind =)

 

[Blutroop]

WA is pretty far away from me, but I'd love to head that way just to see some shit I haven't seen before.

What would your gas bill be?

Oh wait, no... It'd be cheaper to get me there from TX than get you there from AK I think.

Nevermind =)

We are the same distance. I drove from Texas to Alaska. Roads may be closed this time of year so I would have to fly. Tickets can be had cheap if you can plan ahead. I couldn’t plan that far ahead when I was going through my divorce. If he wouldn’t be so suspect I’d suggest he store large amounts of ammo and gasoline near the gas? Hot water heater.

 

[SilentStalkr]

The bulk of this is for discussion with an attorney, as you already know. They will be the one to tell you what your legal options are on that end, so I'm not going to even venture down that path further than to say you're like a tick in there and it is very long and difficult to get you out if you want to stay. It will happen eventually, but don't feel rushed if you really want to stay there. Again, a lawyer is where you need advice from though.

On the other end of things, I'd leave at first opportunity and don't let the "no help" thing hold you back because that isn't the case. I'll help, just send me a message and I'll burn miles and fly in there to be your muscle, you'd just have to have your move time period while I'm not working and I'll be there. Semper Fidelis doesn't stop at one branch of service, just say the word brother, and I'm sure I'm not the only one here would would gladly offer up the same. Anyhow, getting away from bad memories and starting fresh goes a long fucking way towards getting better, sure worked for me. Completely removing yourself from any kind of influence from your ex would be huge to moving on with your life.

Housing wise... Being on a fixed income and disability, I'd look to where you can stretch your money the furthest and I would think that would not be in the highly taxed PNW. Check into some locations with a VA in the area but lower cost of living, Wyoming and western South Dakota would be up there on my first search area for mountains and low cost of living, it's very much part of why I moved here. Just as an idea of what else is out there, I'm in a smaller home in a remote small town neighborhood but my rent and utilities combined come in under $900/mo, even while paying to heat the home in the winter. Hot Springs, SD has nice homes under $150k and a good VA in town, while being right smack in the middle of elk country. You could have your mortgage for less than your rent, easily, if you broaden your search area.

Same here. I’m a long ass way from WA but I’d be willing to come help as well as long as I can swing it with work.

 

[Strykervet]

Thanks to everyone that's responded, I'm genuinely grateful to be part of such a great community.

Power went off so I disappeared yesterday. GTG today. So I got an email later from the attorney and it said as much I'd figured --I have the place until April 2020 regardless of what she does. She can sell it, but the new owner will have to honor the rest of my contract. Would you buy a house you couldn't move into for 18 months, yet pay a mortgage in excess of the rental fee? And this isn't the type of property you rent, it's over an acre with huge trees close to the house. This property requires work. Work I'm no longer doing and work she refused and still refuses to do. One tree died the year before last, then starting last year others were getting thin. Now all trees of one species are dead. I got a letter from the county about some vector that was responsible, a caterpillar that lives in the tops I think. So it's impossible to treat short of aircraft. We never got treated. She never did anything about it. I warned her. Done warning her. Fell on deaf ears and it just made me the bad guy. In retrospect, there really was no solution but divorce it seems. She just didn't wanna be part of the marriage, she was brought up believing in fairy tales and now she's pissed and bitter the world doesn't work like that.

She can ask what ever she wants. If you're serious about staying, I would insist upon 2 - 3 independent appraisals using the actual sold price of properties in you local area. Lastly, a home inspection of the house, out buildings and property would indicate required maintenance or defects needing repair/replacement.

You can stipulate/negotiate how the purchase price is determined based on the results.

Oh absolutely. Thing is I don't think I could get her down to a reasonable price because she's gonna bet on numbers, with someone being ignorant enough and hiring a half ass inspector, not looking at it carefully. This number she got is based on faulty math. The guy wanted to argue with me, I studied too much math to argue properties of addition. So the house has a huge room added on paper that doesn't exist in real life. The garage isn't technically a garage but they listed it that way. I have a deal with the power company, I'm a former electrician and the neighbor is their lineman. I was going to move the power meter out of the garage, they're okay with me keeping it in there now because I'm always here and let them in but they won't be cool with it selling. And the missing backflow preventer could also cause a serious problem. There's a lot of work to be done that didn't get done. I'm no longer doing it, I'm just cleaning up after myself and not doing any damage. I offered during the divorce to pay only the mortgage but she had to be greedy and wanted a property mgmt. company (uh, she IS a property manager, that's her job, that illustrates how genuinely lazy that woman is) that charges me $200 extra. They do nothing but collect the check. They do no maintenance. I was willing to maintain the place like I still owned it if I was only paying the mortgage. No big projects, but keeping the place above water. She didn't want that despite the fact I'd been doing it for four months at that point already.

Boy, she can really stir up some shit on the holidays. I need to come up with my own type of "Facebook" but it'll be a divorcee catalog with the reasons to stay away from those women. Single men would PAY for that, no advertisers needed!

So yeah, if I were to try and keep it I'd have to get her down to what we paid for it in the first place. But during the last inspection we were together, we got the mortgage lowered and had $48,000+ equity tacked on that I put in the place (new electrical panel, full security/fire, ceramic tiles, other stuff). Then in less than a year, this tool comes out here and figures on $305,000 and that's with me NOT pointing out any of the work I'd done (it just magically increased in value $50,000 over 8 months, for absolutely no reason). I'd have to get it down to $215,000 maximum. That's the absolute most I'm willing to pay for a place I really like. It pretty much prices me out of every county I5 runs through, but I'd rather live in the mountains anyway. Just need to be within driving of VA really. And she'll never sell it for less or the same price as we paid for it during the housing crisis when people were giving stuff away. It's a really beautiful place, always gets compliments. It's a shame. I just hope she does sell it later because it's not fair to the neighbor to have a shitty property next door. It's not shitty yet, but neglect it for another five years and yeah, it'll be starting to get that way.

 

[Strykervet]

different states have different laws, but the only way she could sell the house AND have you move, regardless of her paying penalties, could, COULD, be her proving financial emergency.
also see what a liz pendens would do for you if you needed it

The court order, like a lease, follows the house. There's just no scenario where I get fucked unless I stop paying the rent. I'm lucky there. She's too worried about her credit and things like that to file bankruptcy to prove a financial emergency, and that's about what it'd take. And even if the bank took it over, they still have to let me stay. That lawyer really did his job IMO. He said that this is a typical problem and that's why he ensures his clients have their immediate housing taken care of during the case, so they have somewhere to call home and put pieces back together while they plan for the future.

And to all of you willing to come help my broken ass move? Wow. Just wow. You guys never cease to amaze me. One helluva community we have here. You don't know how much that means to me being mostly alone up here, but knowing there are good guys that will come out of the woodwork if I'm sucking. I really did need the help when she ran out last year, and I was so grateful to get it (and to be able to pay some forward this year too) but right now I'm in a holding pattern and just waiting until April 2020. We'll see what that date holds when we get there I guess.

I genuinely wish all of you and all of yours a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year (or Hanukah, Kwanza or Festivus for the Rest of us, etc.!)

 

[Strykervet]

seems to me you are good till April. tell her to have the property appraised then she might realize the place isn't worth so much.

I am good until April --of 2020.

Yeah, the hack she got to do the inspection here had the worst math skills of anyone I ever met. I studied math at university, I'm a mathematician, and this fucker was willing to go to the mat with me about properties of addition. Yeah. So I told him to write whatever, it'll have to be redone by competent people before it sells anyway. He didn't like that so I told him he could count the rest of his fingers and toes in the yard.

In all truth, the house would probably be worth $250k WITH the dead trees removed, the crawlspace cleaned up, foundation repaired and insulation reinstalled in the crawl, new carpet and paint. I just don't see her doing any of that, those were always my projects when we were married.

 

[Bleuz]

Time to see attorney. If funds are low, try legal aid, or maybe nearest law school, or VA.

 

[bullseye13]

Sorry to hear about this. I know your comfortable there, but I think you need to move. Sounds like it will be hard for you to take care of by yourself and you will become a slave to your property both financially and maintenance wise.
I dont have alot of money, and getting there to help you move would be difficult, but I would help pay someone's travel expenses if they would donate the time to help you move. Go to Wyoming, SD, or Montana in that order.

This will pass.

 

[Redmanss]

Keep that mentality that you don't touch a thing on that home other than what any normal renter would do. Make no repairs, cut no trees etc.

March/April 2020, I'll keep that on the back of the calendar to pop on up to WA. You can count on it. If you want to look at WY/SD as a potential location, let me know, you have a place to stay while house hunting. I can show you want it's like to live in an area where membership to a gun club that even has an indoor heated pistol range is $35/year, or you can just drive to the millions of acres of public land within 30 minutes and shoot whatever you care to because that's what our tax dollars are for here instead of caring for druggie vagrants...

 

[oneshot86]

youre a stud

 

[W54/XM-388]

Keep that mentality that you don't touch a thing on that home other than what any normal renter would do. Make no repairs, cut no trees etc.
March/April 2020, I'll keep that on the back of the calendar to pop on up to WA. You can count on it. If you want to look at WY/SD as a potential location, let me know, you have a place to stay while house hunting. I can show you want it's like to live in an area where membership to a gun club that even has an indoor heated pistol range is $35/year, or you can just drive to the millions of acres of public land within 30 minutes and shoot whatever you care to because that's what our tax dollars are for here instead of caring for druggie vagrants...

I'm going to have to keep your area in mind for retirement, as Texas while excellent now will probably be Californicated by the time I am ready to retire & I'll be a bit too old & grumpy to put up with Communists & stay out of Jail.

 

[Redmanss]

I'm going to have to keep your area in mind for retirement, as Texas while excellent now will probably be Californicated by the time I am ready to retire & I'll be a bit too old & grumpy to put up with Communists & stay out of Jail.

My offer extends to all valuable Hide members. C'mon up anytime...

 

[Strykervet]

Redman, you are a true blue guy.

I've gotten so many offers to help me move it's amazing. The brotherhood on here STILL surprises me after I thought I'd seen it all last year. Wow. I'm glad to be part of this brotherhood where we help people. We tend to pay it forward around here, and it's really made the lives better of many members. I've been the recipient of a 'Hide Wide drive for attorney expenses and so I'm big on paying it forward. If I can help another member, I do it. I won't drop $5 on some shady money drive, but I'll drop $100 without blinking an eye if a member here needs it. I'm not rich, but I can spare that for a brother and it certainly adds up. I've had the honor of doing that twice this year to help break two member's falls. I know folks spent more than that on me even, but I do my best.

Well, I got another email from the attorney and apparently she can't even sell(!?) I figured she could as long as the new owner honored the court order (which would require a stupid buyer) but no, she said if she tries to sell before April 2020 that they'll hold her in contempt of court and she'll be responsible for all the court costs since I'm not the one that needs to have it explained again.

So I'm back to where I was I guess. False alarm, but I value you guy's advice and wanted to know my options. Some of you have BTDT and I value that kind of information. But I've still got my year and 4 months to prepare, so hopefully I can plan this move out better. Like I'd planned.

Big thanks to ALL OF YOU and MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!!!!

 

[bigdaddydmd]

Glad you got that stress gone so quickly. Merry Christmas brother. A year and 4 months goes quick so start planning on where you will end up. I concur with all the previous advice on departing the home once your "lease" is up and only doing what a good renter would do in the way of maintenace.

 

[Strykervet]

Keep that mentality that you don't touch a thing on that home other than what any normal renter would do. Make no repairs, cut no trees etc.

March/April 2020, I'll keep that on the back of the calendar to pop on up to WA. You can count on it. If you want to look at WY/SD as a potential location, let me know, you have a place to stay while house hunting. I can show you want it's like to live in an area where membership to a gun club that even has an indoor heated pistol range is $35/year, or you can just drive to the millions of acres of public land within 30 minutes and shoot whatever you care to because that's what our tax dollars are for here instead of caring for druggie vagrants...

Oh, absolutely. I'm not adding any more damage other that's what was here prior to the divorce. Cat got sick on the carpet but it has to be replaced anyway when she left. Trees dying, de-mossing the roof, etc. I do the bare minimum, I cut the grass twice a year (the droughts here kill grass during summer). So I'm not spending money here or doing the work. Something she'll have to do before selling it. And she can't stay here, she's too ignorant and indolent to be capable of maintaining a property like this, and she always wants to hire people to do it like I was a goddamn sultan or something. I got feeling she's not gonna come out as good on this property as she thinks. But you can't tell her anything.

I have a good offer for her to keep the place, but she won't entertain it, too greedy I'm sure. I could offer my VGLI and pay off only what she owes, she breaks even and I don't get raped. In the future, she gets the VGLI when I die. In the meantime, my mortgage would be low enough that I could upgrade the property over time. Because I actually do like it here. Just not at $305,000.

BIg thanks to all, and Redman, I hope you and yours have a nice Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

[The DFC]

Yep-I agree don't put 1 penny into that house. Plan your work and work your plan for 2020.

She'll be in for a big surprise when she sells then-after the home inspection reveals all the big $$$ damage etc it has.

 

[Mike Casselton]

As a renter with a proper rental agreement, you should make written notice to the property management company, every discrepancy the place has that requires repair.
You're already aware of it, your ex probably is also. However, they are accountable to properly maintain any property under their control and as a renter you have a right to have those repairs made on their dime.
This would also CYA for any future BS coming from her/them rying to place the blame on you for failing to notify them of known issues.

Cover your ass with this.
Also, if she is the payee to your VGLI and it doesn't stipulate that it's Irrevocable, guess what, it's not hers to take.

 

[1J04]

Okie Dokie, just returned your PM and will chime in on this. I watch this shit play out EVERY FUCKING WEEK Brother. Lot's of great advice has been posted up and I'd have to say a lot of it is actually spot on. On the legal side of things you DEFINITELY want to lawyer up ASAP. That's cut and clear. Don't say shit to nobody at this point other than a lawyer. You have nothing to gain, only to lose, speaking anymore of this without qualified representation. On the personal side, get the hell outta there most ricky tick when ya can. And when you do give me a shout. I'll do whatever I can to make the transition/move as easy and fun filled as possible.

 

[ArmyJerry]

1J offers good advice and is a stand up guy.

 

[1J04]

1J offers good advice and is a stand up guy.

1J offers good advice and is a stand up guy.

You Big Fucking Softy..........

 

[Threadcutter308]

You Big Fucking Softy..........

Get a room.....

 

[1J04]

 

[Strykervet]

Thanks guys, I reached out to the lawyer you guys got me just to see where I stood since they were the ones that got the court order for 2 years in the agreement we all signed. They said they like to make sure their client has somewhere to go for the immediate future. So I emailed the paralegal just to see where I stood, because I figured she could sell it but it'd have to be to someone that will honor the agreement, and maybe she still can, I don't know, but she basically said she can't sell it until the order/agreement expires. It would be impossible to sell it for what she wants to someone who has to pay mortgage higher than my rent but can't move in. And she won't call to discuss any options. I'm not angry or vengeful or anything. I'm tired.

So I guess that's it for now, if she tries to sell it she could be held in contempt and have to pay both lawyer fees plus whatever. I don't wanna see that happen either. I figure she'll probably end up doing the right thing and continue to honor the agreement. I'm willing to go month to month here though, and that frees me up to look for a place and leave earlier. With a lease, I just don't bother until it's almost up. And I'd like to leave here, I just can't right now. It's too soon, I just need more time.

As for the property, we lived here several years before she left. So there's plenty of work that needs to be done and since it needs paint and carpets anyway, it shouldn't matter. If anything I've done work and upgrades to the property. I don't now, but I don't do damage either. I don't do much of anything around here really, it's wasted space. I still have a feeling it'll be like pulling teeth for my deposit. Yeah, had to pay a deposit on my own home.

I suppose we'll just wait and see. I hope she just continues to honor it, it's just another year and for me time just seems to fly away. It's hard to believe another year went by.

I Hope everyone had a good Christmas!

 

[Sean the Nailer]

On the personal side, get the hell outta there most ricky tick when ya can. And when you do give me a shout. I'll do whatever I can to make the transition/move as easy and fun filled as possible.

So, what I see him saying is that he's gonna 'clear-out-the-jail' and show up with one hell of a chain-gang to help you move. I can hear the Cadence tunes already! Wonder if he'll even get Charlie Sheen to stop by??? HA.

All joking aside, keep on the straight and narrow. Even more importantly, take pictures NOW if you haven't already, to show the condition. That way, you can take the same pictures when you leave, to show the similar conditions. This way, nobody can point fingers at you insinuating that YOU did any damages.

That, and also note/keep track of any and all improvements (that includes maintenance) that you HAVE done, to show your level of personal responsibility and diligence.

Just imagine you're describing this situation to a new, illiterate, ignorant, dim-witted immigrant who doesn't speak a word of your language or understand a single sentence of your laws. Once you can clearly and concisely articulate your perspective of this debacle, THEN you'll not only have a standing in any court, but you'll be the better for it. After all, they ARE your peers.

Cover your ass eleventy times over.