I try to be an optimist

[DocRDS]

So I went on a business trip. In the US I prefer not to fly because (A) its expensive and not worth it and (B) I'm too tall. But boss man says fly so off i go.

After causing a ruckus at security (as always), I get on the plane (Special Fuck You to Frontier who now charges $65 for carry ons and $70 for checked bags--even if it is company money) and get my butt parked and I see what America has become.

If you have seen the Progessive Commercial about "becoming your parents at the Airport" Everyone has the paper ticket. I shit you not, no less than 10 people walk up to the stewardess on the plane, point at the ticket and ask where their seat is.

Now I am by no means a road warrior. But I have been flying for a long time. Many things have changed in that time. Smoking sections, airplane types, hairstyles, actually getting service on a place (yeah I'm that old). But since my first flight, on every airline, on every plane:
ROW 1 IS THE FRONT
A is on the right, F is on the left (as you board the plane). I know there are those tricky widebodies--but it works there too!!

HOW IN THE NAME OF ZEUS'S BUTTHOLE CAN YOU NOT FIND YOUR SEAT.

One guy asked where his seat was (I was seated in the high teens) and stewardess replied "7F" your seat is way up there. Dude--how do you remember to breathe!!!

Same thing happened on the return journey. I can't even.....

As an addendum everyone complained about Uber/Lyft prices from airport. Surge price had everyone between 60 and 100 bucks. I paid 10. What's the secret?

There's a fucking train right to our hotel with the bonus of not having to make idle chit chat.

 

[diverdon]

Haven't flown since covid. Wife says next summer we travel weather I like it or not.

 

[hlee]

Well, you're flying Frontier, so you're basically getting the people that have never been on a plane.

I travel for work, and there were so many complaints about Frontier that our company pulled them from our available travel vendors...

 

[Alphatreedog]

I fuggin hate airlines . I have a bad back and those fuggin seats are torture . Add in that people go all Lord of the Fuckin Flies over free fuckin peanuts . I carry on pretzels or combos and a bottle of water . I refuse to sink to that level of shit bag .
And what the fuck is with the seats that recline back like 1degree and 30 seconds . Oh Dear God put your seat up for landing .
Fuckin retards .

 

[Son of Dorn]

I fuggin hate airlines . I have a bad back and those fuggin seats are torture . Add in that people go all Lord of the Fuckin Flies over free fuckin peanuts . I carry on pretzels or combos and a bottle of water . I refuse to sink to that level of shit bag .
And what the fuck is with the seats that recline back like 1degree and 30 seconds . Oh Dear God put your seat up for landing .
Fuckin retards .

You don't even get peanuts anymore 'cause of allergic people. And I'm pretty sure pretzels were out the last time I flew because it might offend the allegedly-gluten-intolerant.

 

[kthomas]

I used to fly around 8 times a month.

I despise flying now. The service absolutely sucks, airlines act as if they are a monopoly and that individual customers mean fuck all to them. We are just a ticket number, and none of the airlines could give two shits if you book with them or not.

COVID has also brought out the worst in people, and it really shows when flying. People are tense and anxious, sometimes angry. Everyone now looks at each other as a potential harborer of a "deadly" virus, and being packed in like a cattle car really gets people worked up now. The airlines have been imposed with the duty of acting as the mask police, and they take that shit seriously. Not their fault, but it just increases the potential for conflict.

Also, airlines got the biggest bailout during COVID. They got the bailout with the promise not to fire any employees until X date arrives, and when that date arrived, all airlines did mass layoffs. Now the airlines are complaining they can't get enough people, and we the customers get fucked as a result.

Fuck the airlines. They are a bunch of greedy assholes that hate their customers but are the first to the trough to take taxpayers money in the form of a bailout. They got a shit ton of our money, yet the experience of being their customer didn't get better as a result. In fact, it got worse.

I avoid flying whenever possible now. I can count on one hand the number of flights I've done in the past ~3 years.

 

[JMGlasgow]

I flew Frontier about a month ago and this is what i noticed. The seats no longer recline, I'm 6'1" and my knees now touch the seat in front of me, I'm not fat (34" waist) and the seats are borderline too narrow, and carryon baggage was more expensive than the flight itself. No peanuts or pretzels, water isn't free, and the staff are mostly in a bad mood. A 2.5hr flight was almost unbearable for me. They also charge more if you want the emergency exit aisle because it has more leg room.

 

[Im2bent]

I used to fly around 8 times a month.

I despise flying now. The service absolutely sucks, airlines act as if they are a monopoly and that individual customers mean fuck all to them. We are just a ticket number, and none of the airlines could give two shits if you book with them or not.

COVID has also brought out the worst in people, and it really shows when flying. People are tense and anxious, sometimes angry. Everyone now looks at each other as a potential harborer of a "deadly" virus, and being packed in like a cattle car really gets people worked up now. The airlines have been imposed with the duty of acting as the mask police, and they take that shit seriously. Not their fault, but it just increases the potential for conflict.

Also, airlines got the biggest bailout during COVID. They got the bailout with the promise not to fire any employees until X date arrives, and when that date arrived, all airlines did mass layoffs. Now the airlines are complaining they can't get enough people, and we the customers get fucked as a result.

Fuck the airlines. They are a bunch of greedy assholes that hate their customers but are the first to the trough to take taxpayers money in the form of a bailout. They got a shit ton of our money, yet the experience of being their customer didn't get better as a result. In fact, it got worse.

I avoid flying whenever possible now. I can count on one hand the number of flights I've done in the past ~3 years.

We went from this....

to this....

 

[Franko]

I remember when flying was fun. Now it's just a long unpleasant ordeal from start to finish.

 

[Maggot]

I remember when flying was fun. Now it's just a long unpleasant ordeal from start to finish.

Exactly.

I used to fly on TWA Royal Ambassador, when they would ask "How do you want your steak sir, medium or well done?" and it was delicious.

As the man said..."No mas."

 

[eflyguy]

Upper deck on the 747 was nice. Two attendants for just 8 or 10 passengers, and one or two seats were reserved for pilot rest. No mingling with the beggars and outcasts.

 

[Redmanss]

If my company tried to fly me on Frontier or Spirit I'd tell travel to go fuck themselves, then call the boss and tell him the same thing.

I've flown on Ariana and Kam Air, a lot, and I still would never fly on Frontier or Spirit.

 

[Mwalex]

I use to travel about two weeks out of four at my last job. I enjoyed it until TSA became an extension of the welfare department. Then people just became more difficult to tolerate. Now I won’t fly unless it’s an emergency.

 

[eflyguy]

My daughter flew Frontier from ATL to HNL to spend new years with a friend stationed out there that she made during AIT. I don't remember where she connected but I want to say PHX. No issues, had nothing but good things to say, and iirc cost her something like $150 round-trip.

All her travel since being in the military has been exceptional.

 

[TXAZ]

Also a multi-million miler (AA) as others above noted.
It used to be between fun and pleasant.
No more.
If it’s less than 300 miles it’s faster to drive and less stressful these days.

 

[BullGear]

Frontier is one of the problems. I'm surprised you could fit in their seats. But as far as the intelligence of the human species, you are correct, some have devolved into little more than a sea cucumber.

 

[hlee]

A lot of people make travel much more difficult than it needs to be. And, it is not just the people that are having their first airport experience. This little nuggets, found in a different thread, are appropriate here as well...

Shooting off of props

I shot my first rifle match Sunday. Holy cow was it awesome. Learned a lot. The biggest being I have no experience shooting off of props. The shingled roof prop kicked my but hard the first time. I tried laying down on it and shooting prone, That sucked, massive wobble. Kneeling and...

www.snipershide.com

Shooting off of props

I shot my first rifle match Sunday. Holy cow was it awesome. Learned a lot. The biggest being I have no experience shooting off of props. The shingled roof prop kicked my but hard the first time. I tried laying down on it and shooting prone, That sucked, massive wobble. Kneeling and...

www.snipershide.com

 

[elwarpo]

I travel a lot and the only airline I fly is Delta. It is not that they do not screw up, but they generally help and try to make it right. Does it normally cost a bit more... yes but it is worth it.
Fly 75k- 100k miles a year (been platinum on delta for years).
Pay $500 a year for a lounge pass (Delta and Centurion clubs) so sit down to free food and drinks without crowds.
Have TSA precheck, and with status go through the red carpet lane and board early....
Makes travel easy and enjoyable, so far this year I am about 60% upgraded to 1st class.
When you start adding up all the BS fees companies like frontier charge and their crappy service, you can fly other airlines for less and enjoy it better.

 

[kthomas]

In my experience, Delta is the best of the worst. They are my favorite airline, along with Alaska.

And yes, TSA pre-check is a must.

 

[acudaowner]

 

[SilentStalkr]

Well, you're flying Frontier, so you're basically getting the people that have never been on a plane.

I travel for work, and there were so many complaints about Frontier that our company pulled them from our available travel vendors...

I was about to post the same thing!

We went from this....

to this....View attachment 7863710

Chick on bottom left is a dude.

If my company tried to fly me on Frontier or Spirit I'd tell travel to go fuck themselves, then call the boss and tell him the same thing.

I've flown on Ariana and Kam Air, a lot, and I still would never fly on Frontier or Spirit.

This!!!!!

 

[n2ishun]

Will never fly again, for any reason.
Planes used to have enough room so you weren't rubbing elbows with the ass you're seated beside.
Now, not so much.
Seems I was always put beside some skank assed fat mutha fuck that hadn't seen water, let alone bathe in it, for months.

Not only no, but fuck no.

 

[eflyguy]

I have over a million miles on Delta. (Live in Atlanta)

Quit using them about 6 years ago. If I have to fly, I choose Southwest where possible. British Airways to get to Europe.

 

[SilentStalkr]

Yep. I remember the good old days with plenty of room, could recline, everyone had their own TV, snacks and drinks were abundant, flight attendants were hot, and on and on. Now it’s all about how many sardines they can cram in at a time.

 

[SilentStalkr]

I have over a million miles on Delta. (Live in Atlanta)

Quit using them about 6 years ago. If I have to fly, I choose Southwest where possible. British Airways to get to Europe.

Interesting. Why is that?

 

[BullGear]

First time flying on my own was in 1984 when I got married. Walked up to the check in desk and they asked why we were flying, we said it was our honeymoon. From that point on we were treated like royalty. We were given first class seating and rode their cart from the check in desk to our gate. Eastern Airlines.

Had the same experience flying back home. We were hooked. But then Eastern Airlines went away to never to come back.

A tear was shed when we heard the news.

 

[eflyguy]

Interesting. Why is that?

Their service. Worse than any other airline I've flown.

Despite my loyalty for over 20 years, they treat you like dirt.

I know people in the industry that moved from Delta to other airlines, and rave over how much better things were for them.

 

[elwarpo]

I am the opposite, I refuse to fly United or Southwest, and avoid American. Really crappy service with those. I even had to sue United and won because of shit they pulled. Only time I ever sued anyone. Yes it was that bad.

 

[lonegunman762x51]

40 years ago, I flew on Iberia airlines to Spain for the summer after graduating high school. I had already flown on United once so I knew how the airport worked. We flew coach, the seats were roomy, but I was skinny back then, the leg room was fine. About an hour after take off we were served cold drinks in clean glasses and a nice snack of cookies or fresh fruit. Then hot towels, then a movie and after the movie, dinner. Dinner was a three course meal on real plates with real silverware, steak, veggies and mashed potatoes, then dessert. Then hot towels and coffee or tea for those who wanted it. The flight was long and it was a very nice, very clean and friendly. Our luggage even arrived safe and sound.

Next week I'll have to fly cross country. The fucking plane will have 145 more passengers than seats and my ass will barely squeeze between the arm rests. My knees will crush into the fucking seat back in front of me as I try and squeeze my 6'2", 280 pound frame into a spot for a 5"7", 155 pound faggot the airline considers a person. The overhead luggage bin will be stuffed with the shit from an asshole 23 rows back, because that fucking prick does not want to carry his shit the length of the fucking plane. Sitting next to me will be a bitter homosexual or a 350 pound lumberjack lesbian or some other form of Biden dreg who wants to share their fucking opinion. They will smell like piss and reefer.

Boarding this flying shitbox will take 40 minutes as they scream over and over for people to abandon their tickets for a mystery $300 dollar credit on another flying shitshow in the future and not a fucking soul will want to do it. Everyone wants to just get where they are fucking going and endure sitting in surgical garb as they quiver in fear of being one of the three people a year who catch a fake virus on a fucking airplane.

OH JOY!!!!!! The cunt sitting in my row has a fucking emotional support dog, it is shivering in fear and is now shitting or vomiting. It helps her stop crying at all the injustice she sees in the world.....................................you see she is white.......................................and after getting pounded by 37 black dudes in college and dropping mushrooms with five native Americans she met in a public restroom and having them run a train on her, she is still ashamed of her skin color. The entire plane smells like a barnyard. If we just had an old lady with a goat or a crate of chickens this would be a South American bus trip up the Andes in 1970.

The "stewardess" weighs more than me. Her ass hits the headrests on both sides of the aisle as she walks, every person on the plane gets their head smacked with her jelly shaking ass that smells like tampon perfume and a tiny bit of fart. The friction from her pantyhose rubbing together is generating smoke. If we get in the air, she will wander by and give you a sip of Coke, fuck you, the entire can is five dollars and they don't take cash only Bitcoin. Ice is a dollar extra and the fucking cup ain't free either. Want a snack box of shit people in prison won't eat? $11 bucks, no cash either. The bag that those four pretzel minis came it costs 300% more than the value of the contents, why not just by a bag of pretzels at Wal-Mart and have chunky butt give everyone two each for Gods sakes?

The pilot flies like ass too. Lucky we made it off the ground, then he finds the altitude with the most turbulence, good luck taking a piss on this fucking thing. Apparently no one pisses before a flight. Five minutes after the seat belt sign is off 18 people went to the back of the plane to take a shit for the first time in 6 days. It smells like hell back there and none of them wiped their asses because the toilet paper roll is new when you walk into the pisser. It is 5"8" tall so you hunch over and unzip trying to piss as the same fucking stewardess who saw you walk in the room 6 secs ago bangs on the door to let you know people are waiting. You piss all over the seat for them and move on. 90 minutes of this to go.

The pilot hits the runway like he is catching the 3-wire back on the fucking Nimitz and swerves down the runway because only one fucking thrust reverser works 100% correctly. As the plane hits 100 mph, every asshole who put their shit in front of you stands up and tries to leave. You are still 10 minutes from the gate. AS you walk off the plane, the fat stewardess is saying, "thank you for flying whateverthefuck airlines" over and over to no one in particular and not making eye contact with anyone. The pilot is not giving a shit, he flies this bus for another 6 hours and is checking the weather for the next leg. He sits there wishing he was back on the Nimitz, getting paid 1/2 as much and not having to fuck a stewardess older than his mom three nights a week. The pilot thinks to himself, 20 years to go and I can retire....................

Fuck flying. I'm retiring just so I can fucking drive in peace from place to place.

 

[hlee]

40 years ago, I flew on Iberia airlines to Spain for the summer after graduating high school. I had already flown on United once so I knew how the airport worked. We flew coach, the seats were roomy, but I was skinny back then, the leg room was fine. About an hour after take off we were served cold drinks in clean glasses and a nice snack of cookies or fresh fruit. Then hot towels, then a movie and after the movie, dinner. Dinner was a three course meal on real plates with real silverware, steak, veggies and mashed potatoes, then dessert. Then hot towels and coffee or tea for those who wanted it. The flight was long and it was a very nice, very clean and friendly. Our luggage even arrived safe and sound.

Next week I'll have to fly cross country. The fucking plane will have 145 more passengers than seats and my ass will barely squeeze between the arm rests. My knees will crush into the fucking seat back in front of me as I try and squeeze my 6'2", 280 pound frame into a spot for a 5"7", 155 pound faggot the airline considers a person. The overhead luggage bin will be stuffed with the shit from an asshole 23 rows back, because that fucking prick does not want to carry his shit the length of the fucking plane. Sitting next to me will be a bitter homosexual or a 350 pound lumberjack lesbian or some other form of Biden dreg who wants to share their fucking opinion. They will smell like piss and reefer.

Boarding this flying shitbox will take 40 minutes as they scream over and over for people to abandon their tickets for a mystery $300 dollar credit on another flying shitshow in the future and not a fucking soul will want to do it. Everyone wants to just get where they are fucking going and endure sitting in surgical garb as they quiver in fear of being one of the three people a year who catch a fake virus on a fucking airplane.

OH JOY!!!!!! The cunt sitting in my row has a fucking emotional support dog, it is shivering in fear and is now shitting or vomiting. It helps her stop crying at all the injustice she sees in the world.....................................you see she is white.......................................and after getting pounded by 37 black dudes in college and dropping mushrooms with five native Americans she met in a public restroom and having them run a train on her, she is still ashamed of her skin color. The entire plane smells like a barnyard. If we just had an old lady with a goat or a crate of chickens this would be a South American bus trip up the Andes in 1970.

The "stewardess" weighs more than me. Her ass hits the headrests on both sides of the aisle as she walks, every person on the plane gets their head smacked with her jelly shaking ass that smells like tampon perfume and a tiny bit of fart. The friction from her pantyhose rubbing together is generating smoke. If we get in the air, she will wander by and give you a sip of Coke, fuck you, the entire can is five dollars and they don't take cash only Bitcoin. Ice is a dollar extra and the fucking cup ain't free either. Want a snack box of shit people in prison won't eat? $11 bucks, no cash either. The bag that those four pretzel minis came it costs 300% more than the value of the contents, why not just by a bag of pretzels at Wal-Mart and have chunky butt give everyone two each for Gods sakes?

The pilot flies like ass too. Lucky we made it off the ground, then he finds the altitude with the most turbulence, good luck taking a piss on this fucking thing. Apparently no one pisses before a flight. Five minutes after the seat belt sign is off 18 people went to the back of the plane to take a shit for the first time in 6 days. It smells like hell back there and none of them wiped their asses because the toilet paper roll is new when you walk into the pisser. It is 5"8" tall so you hunch over and unzip trying to piss as the same fucking stewardess who saw you walk in the room 6 secs ago bangs on the door to let you know people are waiting. You piss all over the seat for them and move on. 90 minutes of this to go.

The pilot hits the runway like he is catching the 3-wire back on the fucking Nimitz and swerves down the runway because only one fucking thrust reverser works 100% correctly. As the plane hits 100 mph, every asshole who put their shit in front of you stands up and tries to leave. You are still 10 minutes from the gate. AS you walk off the plane, the fat stewardess is saying, "thank you for flying whateverthefuck airlines" over and over to no one in particular and not making eye contact with anyone. The pilot is not giving a shit, he flies this bus for another 6 hours and is checking the weather for the next leg. He sits there wishing he was back on the Nimitz, getting paid 1/2 as much and not having to fuck a stewardess older than his mom three nights a week. The pilot thinks to himself, 20 years to go and I can retire....................

Fuck flying. I'm retiring just so I can fucking drive in peace from place to place.

That just about sums it up. End thread.

 

[Threadcutter308]

I travel a lot and the only airline I fly is Delta. It is not that they do not screw up, but they generally help and try to make it right. Does it normally cost a bit more... yes but it is worth it.
Fly 75k- 100k miles a year (been platinum on delta for years).
Pay $500 a year for a lounge pass (Delta and Centurion clubs) so sit down to free food and drinks without crowds.
Have TSA precheck, and with status go through the red carpet lane and board early....
Makes travel easy and enjoyable, so far this year I am about 60% upgraded to 1st class.
When you start adding up all the BS fees companies like frontier charge and their crappy service, you can fly other airlines for less and enjoy it better.

If you don't already have it, get a Delta Amex. Spend $$$'s go toward free miles and status upgrades.

 

[theLBC]

they have to tell people to remove the pizza from the box before eating.
car manuals used to tell you how to adjust the valves. now it warns you not to drink the battery acid.

 

[jmp1]

Stewardess is hot, no annoying mutha f'ers.
Bonus...I fly through security with my piece

 

[elwarpo]

If you don't already have it, get a Delta Amex. Spend $$$'s go toward free miles and status upgrades.

Have the reserve, love it. Free lounge access for Delta and Amex Centurion lounges. Sitting in the lounge in Detroit now.

 

[fdkay]

I'm old enough to remember when they gave you smoked almonds for a snack.
No fucking peanuts, no fucking pretzels.
They also treated you like and important customer, not an inconvenience.
Try to fly JAL or Philippine Airlines.
Mostly women flight attendants, no cows and pleasing personalities.
Has to be a sucky job with todays over entitled whiney bitches.

 

[Marinevet1]

Hell, I'm old enough to remember smoking on a commercial flight.......

 

[eflyguy]

I'm old enough to remember being stuck in the row behind the smoking section.

Korean Air is my choice for trans-pacific travel.

 

[oneshot86]

Hell, I'm old enough to remember smoking on a commercial flight.......

First thing I did after boot camp was buy me a pack of camels and dang near made myself sick from smoking so much on the plane.

 

[oneshot86]

I'm old enough to remember when they gave you smoked almonds for a snack.
No fucking peanuts, no fucking pretzels.
They also treated you like and important customer, not an inconvenience.
Try to fly JAL or Philippine Airlines.
Mostly women flight attendants, no cows and pleasing personalities.
Has to be a sucky job with todays over entitled whiney bitches.

Working almost anything public sucks w the whiney bitches. I act like I don't hear them and walk directly away from them

 

[hlee]

I haven't had to fly in about a year. I am really getting excited for my flight next week...

 

[fdkay]

Hell, I'm old enough to remember smoking on a commercial flight.......

I was a passenger on Flying tigers with the alternating smoking sections. Long flights, much smoke.

 

[Im2bent]

I'm old enough to remember when they gave you smoked almonds for a snack.
No fucking peanuts, no fucking pretzels.
They also treated you like and important customer, not an inconvenience.
Try to fly JAL or Philippine Airlines.
Mostly women flight attendants, no cows and pleasing personalities.
Has to be a sucky job with todays over entitled whiney bitches.

Hell, I'm old enough to remember smoking on a commercial flight.......

Pfffffffff I'm old enough I remember a guy putting a double barrel shotgun in the overhead bin. Now granted this was Olympic Airlines on a domestic flight Athens to Heraklion around 1974.

 

[fdkay]

Pfffffffff I'm old enough I remember a guy putting a double barrel shotgun in the overhead bin. Now granted this was Olympic Airlines on a domestic flight Athens to Heraklion around 1974.

Well, my first commercial flight was from western Pennsylvania to Bermuda in about 69, so there.

 

[hlee]

As seen in the Funny Memes thread...

 

[acudaowner]

I blame people who fly for the falling standards in flight attendants stop flying and make your demands known no one boards till the hot ass flight attendants are back on every flight . also you should never loose your optimism always look for that silver lining it's a great trait to have especially while your going to be getting fucked at the airport more and more and fucked at home and at work your going to need a way to keep your spirits up while the government is going to give you a non lubed prostate exam to take away your rights smile it is only going to get worse from here on .

 

[7.62willdo]

I was a passenger on Flying tigers with the alternating smoking sections. Long flights, much smoke.

Was that a MAC flight?

 

[fdkay]

Was that a MAC flight?

Yes

 

[Thorny]

The 60s,

Today,

 

[MK20]

Believe it or not, Air France is still absolutely awesome. Smoking hot flight attendants, good food for free, free checked bag, free wine, etc. Oh, and they were much less mask Nazi ish than US carriers.

One of their flight attendants that I saw was literally shaped exactly like a Barbie doll. I didn't think that was possible, which is why I remember it, but I saw it.

 

[SilentStalkr]

The 60s,
View attachment 7891179
Today,
View attachment 7891180

Yeah, you missed where they pack as many people in there as they can now, like sardines.