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Maggie’s Man's Best Friend Thread
- Thread starter Sieg
- Start date
I could use some life advice from you other dog lovers.
For 3 weeks now, I can't reconcile that my commitment to my dog feels like it is holding me back from the life I really want. She is a lab/collie mix, is very smart, obedient, loyal and affectionate.
For the 3 years I have had her, I lived in a big midwest city, and I lived alone. I didn't have much ambition, so taking care of a dog by myself didn't feel like a big deal. 2 months ago I move to central Idaho, to piece of land that I could see myself living at until I die. I now have big ambitions to build a house, buy a truck, horse and trailer, start raising animals. I have the drive and the focus, but not the money. I want to work 60+ hr weeks this winter, really want to bust my ass, but I don't want my dog to be home or in the car alone that much. I'll be living in an apartment for the winter.
I can't help but think she would be really happy with a family. I'm having a hard time thinking of a creative solution. What would you do?
For 3 weeks now, I can't reconcile that my commitment to my dog feels like it is holding me back from the life I really want. She is a lab/collie mix, is very smart, obedient, loyal and affectionate.
For the 3 years I have had her, I lived in a big midwest city, and I lived alone. I didn't have much ambition, so taking care of a dog by myself didn't feel like a big deal. 2 months ago I move to central Idaho, to piece of land that I could see myself living at until I die. I now have big ambitions to build a house, buy a truck, horse and trailer, start raising animals. I have the drive and the focus, but not the money. I want to work 60+ hr weeks this winter, really want to bust my ass, but I don't want my dog to be home or in the car alone that much. I'll be living in an apartment for the winter.
I can't help but think she would be really happy with a family. I'm having a hard time thinking of a creative solution. What would you do?
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Honestly man, look at it this way. A dog is a part of your life, you are your companion's whole life. Slowly build up the life you want later, if the both of you are happy with each other, don't kill the relationship. Putting up with 60+ hour workweeks for a winter is nothing compared to wondering what your life would have been like if you'd have kept them in your life. Trust me, I know. No money, possessions or accomplishments can fill the guilt I have for the 1st pup I had and gave away.
My dog and my cat come first. They're family. Really all I have. I can get pissed and he'll apologize to me. My dog makes me a better person. Nobody gives that much of a shit about me or wants to spend time with me that much, nobody gets that excited to go somewhere with me, or stay here with me, either or, or at any hour of the day or night. Nobody gives a shit when I'm upset or hurt, but he can tell, and he always comes to comfort me. He knows me probably better than I know myself, yes, they communicate and do it very well, just not in words. That cat's a little different but I'm the only person she'll deal with, she just loves me. She could handle being alone a lot better though she's never been alone. She'll also sleep with the setter.
Just try to leave some stuff for her to play with at least so she doesn't get bored during the day, peanut butter filled kongs, and make sure someone comes to let her out in the middle of the day. She'll probably sleep until you get home with a half hour of going nuts after you leave and a half hour before you get home. But don't make that her new life. My ex took my other dog, a 13yo cocker who has never spent a day alone, I don't know, so she could have a living, breathing being locked in a crate and begging for attention while she works 16 hours a day and plays on a goddamn phone the rest of the non-sleeping, non-eating hours, non-standing in front of mirror hours. So now he gets to suffer alone his last year or two because she doesn't have time for him. Man, I hope the fuck I'm seriously wrong on that.
She only wants to be with you, and you'll never know a human to care as much and no piece of property is ever worth more. My setter was $600 but my safe full of shit doesn't come close to what he's worth. Whoever said you can't buy a best friend doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.
Why not see if there's someone she can stay with during the day? I'm sure someone could use a pet while you're at work and she could serve two functions. Trust me, she doesn't give a shit and would probably dig it. Someone who is homebound and alone, but not independent enough to take care of a dog full time maybe. Just an idea.
That said, if you honestly don't have the time and she's just gonna be holding piss alone all day, just to be ignored when you get home and go to bed, then yeah, being honest with yourself and finding her a good home and making damn sure it's a good one is the least you owe her.
And after that, I'd probably not make the mistake of getting another dog. Good luck, and I hope the best for her. FWIW, that's one of the smartest breeds too, so doubtful you'll find a much better dog. My setter is sorta smart, more instinct and desire to please than anything else though.
Thanks for the replies. I've being feeling like a heartless wretch these past 3 weeks, and your writing is stirring up deep feelings for me.
For the first year and a half, I took her to the off-leash dog park every day, and when she matured some and calmed down it was every other day. When she impaled herself running through the wood, I nursed her for 4 month, washing the dried puss off her wound twice a day, and after she recovered I decided to move to Idaho so she could have more open space to play (and so I could live off the land and do fulfilling work).
And in the first 6 weeks here she got underfoot of a horse, got in 3 fights with other dogs, sliced her leg open in a barbed wire fence and got grass seeds in both ears. I have pet insurance for her, so she has gotten prompt care and is in good health, but I am exhausted and burned out providing a good life for her. I want time for me and what I want. I am trying to find someone to watch her for a week, so I can have a break, spend a day cutting firewood, try to make a friend at the bar.
For the first year and a half, I took her to the off-leash dog park every day, and when she matured some and calmed down it was every other day. When she impaled herself running through the wood, I nursed her for 4 month, washing the dried puss off her wound twice a day, and after she recovered I decided to move to Idaho so she could have more open space to play (and so I could live off the land and do fulfilling work).
And in the first 6 weeks here she got underfoot of a horse, got in 3 fights with other dogs, sliced her leg open in a barbed wire fence and got grass seeds in both ears. I have pet insurance for her, so she has gotten prompt care and is in good health, but I am exhausted and burned out providing a good life for her. I want time for me and what I want. I am trying to find someone to watch her for a week, so I can have a break, spend a day cutting firewood, try to make a friend at the bar.
Hang in there, tea&jam. The harder you work and suffer in life, the more you enjoy the simple, unconditional love a dog brings. You'll need that therapy over a long cold winter and you'll be stronger by making the commitment.
I keep thinking about the movie There Will Be Blood. Daniel Plainview chooses ambition over family. Often, my ambitions feel like the most important thing to me right now. They motivate me so much. All those material things I mentioned: house, truck, trailer, those are all tools for my ambition to be self-sufficient.
I am struggling with patience, I want to be self-sufficient yesterday, and I judge myself for being in debt, and being reliant on meaningless jobs for survival. If I just work part time, instead of 60+ hrs, then I would have time for day long hikes with my dog, relaxed reloading sessions, brewing beer, but then it might be years before I am more self-sufficient. I am so focused on the destination, I am not enjoying the journey.
I hate asking for help. But it's kinda pathetic of me that it feels like more of an option to re-home her than ask a neighbor to let her out during the day. Fuck my pride.
I am struggling with patience, I want to be self-sufficient yesterday, and I judge myself for being in debt, and being reliant on meaningless jobs for survival. If I just work part time, instead of 60+ hrs, then I would have time for day long hikes with my dog, relaxed reloading sessions, brewing beer, but then it might be years before I am more self-sufficient. I am so focused on the destination, I am not enjoying the journey.
I hate asking for help. But it's kinda pathetic of me that it feels like more of an option to re-home her than ask a neighbor to let her out during the day. Fuck my pride.
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I work 60+ hour weeks and have for years (Basically work + traffic), and my dogs are very loyal, very attached but do fine.
They are of the hound type that love to be active and around people, but are not too insane.
What you need to do is get a second dog. I know there are a whole bunch of people that believe you should only have 1 so that the dog is just bonded to you etc... fine whatever. Dogs are social animals and unless specifically bred otherwise, they like to be around other dogs or their masters.
By themselves all day long they will be unhappy, but with friends they will thrive.
You are moving to a big place eventually, plenty of room, get another puppy or two that your dog will get along with and once they bond and form a little pack, they will be perfectly fine together even if they miss you a bit. They will still be just as happy to see you when you get home. I'd suggest something of the hound variety as they are very much into being a pack, but others are fine as well, just make sure they are of the sociable type. They would be fine in the apartment if you make sure to exercise them hard before you leave in the morning & when you come home at night. Then take them to the big property the days you are off.
My dogs sleep with me, eat with me and are constantly around me when I'm home, we play hard, run hard and have lots of fun. Then when I'm gone for 13 hours each day, they generally relax and sleep in the bedroom till it's time to go run again. Also when you run them make sure it's intellectually stimulating for them, Dogs need intellectual stimulation just as much as physical exercise.
So for you, I'd suggest get another dog or two, that they will like, and then you'll be set, just make sure when you come home, you are all about being with them & having them with you and then get them into the routine that when you get up, you play / run / work them hard, feed them well & get them into a routine of wanting to get some rest when you leave, then when you get back home, work / run / play them hard and have them with you all the time. It may take a bit, and they may whine for a few months, then they will get used to it.
If you can, put up some connected cameras so you can check on them from your phone while you work, so you can monitor how they adjust and also put your mind at ease.
This is what my dogs do most of the day while I'm gone unless they decide to go in the back yard for a bit of fun in between naps:
Well I have used up all of the summer, no travel, no vacations, no dating, just work and farm work to take care of my lab and the my sons new GSD pup. Gave up a lot and he was a pain in the ass sometimes but the joy that dog has when it sees my son come home from school makes it worth it.
Brother life is about sacrifice and choices. It’s not the destination but trip that matters. Getting there alone is no fun and maybe you are where you at today due to the support and company of your pup.
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I have two old cats and they take a lot of time and care but they are worth every minute. They are worth it because of the happiness they have brought to my life over the years. I will take care of them every day until they are gone.
What you have described about your dogs injuries is a dog being a dog outside in the world. She is living the life she was meant to live.
I do not like to preach to people but I think there are some questions you might want to think about, not just your dog but for life in general. Do you plan on having children? If so they will be A LOT more work than your dog. If your dog is stressing you this badly then you might want to look at your future plans, seriously. Is your dog the most stressful part of your life? If so, then you actually have it pretty good. If you are burned out providing her a good life how does that translate to a relationship with a person? From my experience animals are always easier than people.
At the end of the day I believe that anything worth having is worth suffering for and will have to be suffered for. If we walk away from something because it gets a little tough then we would die with nothing.
When ever I am in serious thought about something I use the Granny Acid test..
It goes like this. What would my grandmother do if she was still alive if I did this or that.
If the answer is "She would kick me in the balls" I don't do it.
It goes like this. What would my grandmother do if she was still alive if I did this or that.
If the answer is "She would kick me in the balls" I don't do it.
He looks older than.....
…… he acts
Then there's Shorty......
Thankful everyday to have these guys in my life.
…… he acts
Then there's Shorty......
Thankful everyday to have these guys in my life.
When our dog Corkie died in 2005 we were heartbroken and my wife took it really hard. Corkie was a sheepdog mix was a great pet. I tried to get her another dog and was pushing a black lab but she wasn't sure she was ready to do it again thinking she couldn't stand losing another. We've always gotten dogs from the shelter. A few weeks passed and she was still hurting when one day at the library where she works a stray dog ran in the door as a patron entered the build, ran all the way in and around behind the counter where my wife was standing and sat at her side looking up at her. He was a newfoundland lab mix.
They called animal control and they took him in and prepared him for adoption with my wife as a person of interest. I told her that's your dog and you waited so long he had to come get you! He was the best dog we ever had, we named him Lucky.
They called animal control and they took him in and prepared him for adoption with my wife as a person of interest. I told her that's your dog and you waited so long he had to come get you! He was the best dog we ever had, we named him Lucky.
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My three hunters. I don’t know how to be without them
My lab and daughter. These two are joined at the hip. Daughter is 2 lab is 8 this year. Dog still acts like a pup.
This guy has mitts, we have had shepherds all our lives this one is stupid smart.
"Ranger"
10 months old. My first German Shepherd. Intelligent, athletic, loyal to a fault. I still have puppy battles every week (chewing) but that's part of the deal. He spends about 72 hours a week with me.
10 months old. My first German Shepherd. Intelligent, athletic, loyal to a fault. I still have puppy battles every week (chewing) but that's part of the deal. He spends about 72 hours a week with me.
Our new Brittany puppy. 6 mo. old, and just wants to chase birds. Great dog so far!
Covey of quail in the front yard.
She’s been through a 30 day program for upland game. Still a little puppy stupid, but she knows the gun, and the birds.
Covey of quail in the front yard.
She’s been through a 30 day program for upland game. Still a little puppy stupid, but she knows the gun, and the birds.
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"My" first dog was a Sheppard adopted via a live in girl friend. He was a beautiful specimen, 110 lbs full of energy and always eager to please, regretfully at that time in my life I didn't have the time to devote to the relationship due to business obligations and my lack of understanding of how a loyal dog truly enriches one's life.
I'm still haunted by my lack of appreciation and respect towards him to this day...… 32 years later. His name was Angus and he was a far better person than I.….. "I've never met a bad dog in my life, only ones that have been screwed up by people" is a creed I live by to this day.
Angus changed my life, and my last four dogs have reaped the benefits of what he taught me about myself and genuine priorities in life. I will never perceive myself as superior to any dog as they've proven to me time and time again they are more genuine and compassionate than humans. It just takes understanding.
It is really wonderful when a dog picks it's human, as opposed to the human picking the dog. When my wife and I went to look at some border collies in the whelping pen, one of the older dogs that had been running out in the field came in to see us, and one checked out my wife, then checked out me, and sat right next to me leaning on my leg. I moved down to the other end of the pen, and the dog did it again. When I realized I had been chosen, I told the breeder what I thought, and she said I was correct, that the dog had chosen me. So I ended up with the dog that picked me, not the one of the dogs I was there to look at. I named him Buster, and he was my companion for over 14 years. Old age finally got him, and I still miss him.When our dog Corkie died in 2005 we were heartbroken and my wife took it really hard. Corkie was a sheepdog mix was a great pet. I tried to get her another dog and was pushing a black lab but she wasn't sure she was ready to do it again thinking she couldn't stand losing another. We've always gotten dogs from the shelter. A few weeks passed and she was still hurting when one day at the library where she works a stray dog ran in the door as a patron entered the build, ran all the way in and around behind the counter where my wife was standing and sat at her side looking up at her. He was a newfoundland lab mix.
They called animal control and they took him in and prepared him for adoption with my wife as a person of interest. I told her that's your dog and you waited so long he had to come get you! He was the best dog we ever had, we named him Lucky.
Not my dog or deer.
This picture was taken at our country home by the previous owner a long time ago.
Fawn was an abandoned wild deer who just walked up to the dog, they became friends and would just hang out.
This picture was taken at our country home by the previous owner a long time ago.
Fawn was an abandoned wild deer who just walked up to the dog, they became friends and would just hang out.
The Hill: Army Ranger dog named Maiko died in Afghanistan saving US soldiers | TheHill
The Hill: Army Ranger dog named Maiko died in Afghanistan saving US soldiers | TheHill.
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-brie...dog-named-maiko-died-in-afghanistan-saving-us
The Hill: Army Ranger dog named Maiko died in Afghanistan saving US soldiers | TheHill.
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-brie...dog-named-maiko-died-in-afghanistan-saving-us
Doesn't get much better than Lake Michigan and a snake hound
All of those critters are outstanding. The animals that decide to be a part of our lives make us better people. If we can be half the person they think we are Hell would have many more vacancies.
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Gotta love them. We have a Chesapeake Bay Retriever that is my hunting partner for now. His is almost 3 and we are finally starting to see signs he is coming around to growing up. I get a kick out of him, Hank has the most disgusted glare possible if a duck comes in and you miss. I’ve never seen anything else like it.
Then there is our mutt, Schatzie, who at 8 years old now is almost civil to people outside of her family. She was adopted by us and came from a tough family. It took a while to get her over the beating she got as a pup.
Then there is our mutt, Schatzie, who at 8 years old now is almost civil to people outside of her family. She was adopted by us and came from a tough family. It took a while to get her over the beating she got as a pup.
I have long believed that there is something wonderful that remains un-awakened in people who don't care for some kind of animal. It really doesn't matter whether they care for dogs, cats, snakes, horses, pigs, cows, fish, spiders, amphibians, birds or any other living animal, including humans. The point is that they are caring for something other than themselves. Caring for another animal or person seems to awaken compassion, a deeper understanding of life and death, our connection to things, and other things that I can't quite explain, but I suspect those people who know what I am referring to don't need my explanation because they already know that of which I am writing.
Hmmm... that is the most coordination, civility, and contemplation I've seen in a pack. I like it lol.
Never a dull moment with this little asshat
This is Dancer, a 5 YO Belgian Malinois. She's my constant shadow, who doesn't understand the concept of personal space. I'm one of the lucky folks that gets to take my dog to work everyday
This is Dancer, a 5 YO Belgian Malinois. She's my constant shadow, who doesn't understand the concept of personal space. I'm one of the lucky folks that gets to take my dog to work everyday
This goober, finds new ways to warm my heart every day.
My daughter moved out just after she turned 18. Told her that the rain will sometimes feel like icepicks when you're struggling out there. And she was...then she got a dog....a rescue (puppy) that she took home barely able to take care of herself, let alone a dog. Moved back home almost a year later. We all know who would be taking care of the dog, right? Yup. Daughter wanted a jeep. The old man agrees to cosign, BUT! if I do, the dog is mine and that's it. Done deal. Daughter bought a house-almost 2 years ago-is doing fine and me and Cowbell are doing fine as well. Cowbell is a murder machine. 12 groundhogs, 4 muskrats, 3 opossums, 2 racoons, 2 ducks and 1 rabbit along with no less than 2 metric tonnes of Milk Bones! She has slowed down since having an ACL repaired in April of 2018, but gets along just fine. A few of my favorite pics here.....getting ready to check the perimeter, her first kill, and her and Morbo, another stone cold killer straight out of the Henry county farmlands. Cowbell will be 6 in Feb.
In keeping with the kind nature of this thread, I shall refrain from giving it to the OP with both barrels. Using a movie as some sort of lens through which to take stock of life situations is not helping either of them. This picture here is stunning and I bet many members would trade slots. Yup. I would. Find a neighbor who can let the dog out for at least an hour each day while you go to work, or the bar. Find a doggie day care, they're out there. I understand being a pet owner can be difficult, challenging, and expensive at times. My dog had ACL surgery back in April. We know that caring for these animals makes us better. When I get home and she greets me, that is usually the best part of my day! The options and choices our OP is considering with regards to his life cleary are numerous, but with a closer look and equal dedication, I believe that he can find solutions for the both of them. It may be a stretch at first, most things are, but be a good steward of this faithful companion. I pray often that St. Francis will guard and protect our pets, rest assured that I will include both of you in a prayer with a special intention.
Doug
She's always down for a backpacking trip. She's getting older now, might have to go in the pack instead of carrying her own!
Members.....some of the scenery posted is just incredible! To have access to such grounds and share it with such companions is a blessing. Thank you all.
To break from the pack a little, my best friend for the past 15 years has been a mixed female cat an exgirlfriend rescued from a no kill shelter on Long Island, NY. She moved from NY to TX with me 13 years ago and has been a great companion. She is smart, affectionate and loves to go for walks on a leash. My little girl has bucked the odds health wise more than once but she has been diagnosed with cancer in her sinus passages. Nothing can be done and our time is limited. My focus is to make sure she is the most loved and best fed critter in the world until it is time for her to rest. This sucks.
Stay strong brother, my pack will be sending some prayers for you and yours.
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