Nolte: More Adult Children Living With Parents
It doesn't get any sadder than this: "19 percent of men and 12 percent of women in the 25-34 demographic cohabit with their parents."
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John Nolte
It doesn’t get any sadder than this: “19 percent of men and 12 percent of women in the 25-34 demographic cohabit with their parents.”
Nearly a fifth — a fifth! — of men aged 25-34 live with Mom and Dad?
What?
At least the parents aren’t happy about it.
The Hill reports:
I have terrific parents. I really do…A recent Pew survey found two-fifths of dads believe parents hosting adult children is bad for society, while only 12 percent think it’s a good thing. Moms agree, albeit to a lesser degree.
…
COVID-19 sent adult children back to the nest in unprecedented numbers. A stampede of younger millennials and older Generation Z progeny have fled roommates and cramped urban apartments during the pandemic for spacious homes in thinly settled suburbs with full kitchens and convenient laundry facilities.
I. Could. Not. Wait. To. Get. Out. Of. The. House.
Right after barely graduating high school I was out the door in my own apartment. Things went sideways about a year later, and I had to move back in. But I moved back out after a few months, while I was still 19, and haven’t been back since.
I don’t care how great your parents are. Why would anyone want to live with their parents?
Yes, I get that you save money and all that. But how do you put a price on independence? How do you put a price on the healthy pride that comes with knowing you are making your own way in the world? I’m 57 years old and still take pride in that.
It was 1985; I made $5.00 an hour; I made it. Barely. But I made it. My own apartment (no roommate), a bus pass every week, phone, electric, groceries… I made it. No HBO. Nothing like that, but the sense of living on my own, doing what I wanted, having my very own place… I still love it.
These parents are not doing their children any favors. Yes, parents should always be there to help, especially in an emergency or health tragedy. But to allow your 25-34-year-old kid to basically freeload… That’s not helping. That is stunting that kid’s growth. You have to push them out of the nest. You must love them enough to force them to stand on their own two feet. I’ve worked two jobs. I’ve worked 100 hours a week. You do what you gotta do, and those struggles are what forge you into an adult, into a man.
Letting a grown man work part-time at Safeway and spend the rest of his time in his childhood bedroom watching internet porn, playing video games, and getting high on edibles is a disservice.
Give him a time limit. Stick to it. Love your kid enough to take the hit to do what’s right for him.
During the first six months of the pandemic, the percentage of adults under the age of 30 who lived with their parents increased from 47 percent to 52 percent, according to the Hill.
That I get. That makes sense. The pandemic was an emergency. What’s more, how many parents and kids would’ve been all alone all those months had they not cohabitated? That 47 to 52 percent wasn’t just about finances. It was about families coming together. That’s a great thing. That’s what families are for.
But.
“In the years since, much of American life has returned to normal. But many pandemic boomerang kids remain in the parental home: two-thirds, by one estimate.”