That thing used to fly into Tulsa to pick up oilfield equipment and fly it straight over the pole to Russia, it’s so big it looks like it’s sitting still while on approach to the airport.
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Maggie’s Motivational Pic Thread v2.0 - - New Rules - See Post #1
- Thread starter Snake-Eyes
- Start date
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- Tags
- motivational pictures
This man knows his Lemonparty
When my daughter was young I told her to say "I smell flowers" when she heard or smelled a fart. Instead of "who farted" or "who cut the cheese".
Disgruntled Vets
On February 27th, 1948, the Federal Trade Commission issued a restraining order, preventing the Willys-Overland Company from representing that it had developed the Jeep. Willys-Overland did, in fact, end up producing the Army vehicle that would come to be known as the Jeep; but it was the Bantam Motor Company that first presented the innovative design to the Army.Interesting that it isn't a wood frame which is the distinguishing feature of their other models.
Disgruntled Vets
On February 27th, 1948, the Federal Trade Commission issued a restraining order, preventing the Willys-Overland Company from representing that it had developed the Jeep. Willys-Overland did, in fact, end up producing the Army vehicle that would come to be known as the Jeep; but it was the Bantam Motor Company that first presented the innovative design to the Army.
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviewed some papers and then said "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce". "Because" the man said "I live in a two-story house". The Judge replies "What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story house?" The man answers "Well Judge, one story is 'I have a headache' and the other story is 'It's that time of the month'".
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I don't understand the point of lap dancing clubs. If I wanted a woman to take all my money and sexually frustrate me, I'd stay at home with the wife.
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I don't understand the point of lap dancing clubs. If I wanted a woman to take all my money and sexually frustrate me, I'd stay at home with the wife.
A boy had been born with no arms, no legs, and no torso; just a head.
Needless to say, life was tough for the little fella. His parents; wonderful people; would take him everywhere. They would feed and care for him as best they could. They travelled the world looking for a doctor who could help their little boy in any way. But for many years, they got only regretful refusals.
There was nothing anyone could do.
The poor boy would spend his days on the window sill, looking out at the world he could never venture into on his own. Often his parents would take him to the playground just up the street so he could watch the other children play. His favourite was baseball. Oh, how he wished he could play with them. He would fantasise about playing third base, hitting home runs, running the bases, and sliding in the dirt just for the fun of it.
Then one fateful day as a teenager, his parents got a phone call from a scientist whose life's work dealt with robotics. He excitedly told them about his idea to build a robotic body for their son. He felt that he could use electrodes to read his thoughts about what he would like his body to do and it would obey.
Needless to say, both the boy and his parents were beside themselves with excitement and commissioned the man to build him a body.
After 6 months of intensive work, the robotic body was built and he personally delivered it to the boy and his family. After hooking the electrodes to the boy's head, he told the boy "Okay, tell the robot to move your legs". The boy closed his eyes and concentrated... and the legs began to MOVE!
"Now tell it to move your arms!" The boy excitedly concentrated and his robotic arms moved as well! After a couple hours of practice, the boy was walking, running, even jumping with his new robotic body. And that was when he realised that his dream of playing baseball with the kids at the playground was just around the corner.
With tears in his eyes, he asked his parents "Mum! Dad! Can I go down to the playground and play ball with the other kids?! Please!" "Of course you can son!" they elatedly replied.
So the boy ran out the door and down the street towards the playground. As he got near the playground, he could see the other kids playing and he couldn't wait to join them.
Unfortunately, his anticipation blinded him to the huge truck coming around the corner and as he ran out into the road toward the playground and it ploughed right into him, tragically killing the boy the moment of impact.
The Moral Of The Story?
Quit While You're A Head.
Needless to say, life was tough for the little fella. His parents; wonderful people; would take him everywhere. They would feed and care for him as best they could. They travelled the world looking for a doctor who could help their little boy in any way. But for many years, they got only regretful refusals.
There was nothing anyone could do.
The poor boy would spend his days on the window sill, looking out at the world he could never venture into on his own. Often his parents would take him to the playground just up the street so he could watch the other children play. His favourite was baseball. Oh, how he wished he could play with them. He would fantasise about playing third base, hitting home runs, running the bases, and sliding in the dirt just for the fun of it.
Then one fateful day as a teenager, his parents got a phone call from a scientist whose life's work dealt with robotics. He excitedly told them about his idea to build a robotic body for their son. He felt that he could use electrodes to read his thoughts about what he would like his body to do and it would obey.
Needless to say, both the boy and his parents were beside themselves with excitement and commissioned the man to build him a body.
After 6 months of intensive work, the robotic body was built and he personally delivered it to the boy and his family. After hooking the electrodes to the boy's head, he told the boy "Okay, tell the robot to move your legs". The boy closed his eyes and concentrated... and the legs began to MOVE!
"Now tell it to move your arms!" The boy excitedly concentrated and his robotic arms moved as well! After a couple hours of practice, the boy was walking, running, even jumping with his new robotic body. And that was when he realised that his dream of playing baseball with the kids at the playground was just around the corner.
With tears in his eyes, he asked his parents "Mum! Dad! Can I go down to the playground and play ball with the other kids?! Please!" "Of course you can son!" they elatedly replied.
So the boy ran out the door and down the street towards the playground. As he got near the playground, he could see the other kids playing and he couldn't wait to join them.
Unfortunately, his anticipation blinded him to the huge truck coming around the corner and as he ran out into the road toward the playground and it ploughed right into him, tragically killing the boy the moment of impact.
The Moral Of The Story?
Quit While You're A Head.
One of my all time favorite movies. Priceless!
Hit the lottery, Barn?
Several years ago a very wealthy man contacted a highly respected doctor in the field of reproductive cloning. He told the doc he wanted a child cloned using his DNA. The doctor explained he could not as it was illegal. The rich guy explains, "Doc, I have no family. No one to leave my vast estate to. If you do this for me, I will make you a billionaire." The doctor considered the offer and accepted on one condition. "I will have to raise the child until the age of five." The rich guy agreed to the terms.
Five years go by and the doctor calls the rich guy and tells him he is finished and gives him the location of his secret lab in the mountains of Colorado. The rich guy is very excited, flies his jet to Denver and hires a driver to take him to the lab. He and the doctor meet and and he is introduced to the child. The little boy is handsome, articulate and seems very bright. The doctor administers a battery of tests revealing just how intelligent the boy is. The rich guy is ecstatic.
After lunch, the doctor suggests they take a walk so the little boy could describe the wonders of nature. As they hike along the mountainside trail, suddenly the little boy burst into a profanity laced tirade against the doctor, the rich guy and the world in general. The rich guy is stunned. The doctor explains he does not know what causes the outbursts and has unsuccessfully tried to control them. The little boy settles down and they continued the walk.
After a few hundred yards, the little boy launches another stream of expletives directed entirely at the the rich guy. Rich guy becomes very angry and slaps the little by causing him to fall over the side of the cliff and die on the rocks below. The doctor tells him not to worry, he didn't kill a real person, no one knows about it and identification would be impossible, but the rich guy is devastated.
Back at the lab, the rich guy gathers his belongings and leaves. He has his driver take him to the Denver police department, where he confesses. After the detectives confer with the DA, the man is charged with....
...making an obscene clone fall.
Five years go by and the doctor calls the rich guy and tells him he is finished and gives him the location of his secret lab in the mountains of Colorado. The rich guy is very excited, flies his jet to Denver and hires a driver to take him to the lab. He and the doctor meet and and he is introduced to the child. The little boy is handsome, articulate and seems very bright. The doctor administers a battery of tests revealing just how intelligent the boy is. The rich guy is ecstatic.
After lunch, the doctor suggests they take a walk so the little boy could describe the wonders of nature. As they hike along the mountainside trail, suddenly the little boy burst into a profanity laced tirade against the doctor, the rich guy and the world in general. The rich guy is stunned. The doctor explains he does not know what causes the outbursts and has unsuccessfully tried to control them. The little boy settles down and they continued the walk.
After a few hundred yards, the little boy launches another stream of expletives directed entirely at the the rich guy. Rich guy becomes very angry and slaps the little by causing him to fall over the side of the cliff and die on the rocks below. The doctor tells him not to worry, he didn't kill a real person, no one knows about it and identification would be impossible, but the rich guy is devastated.
Back at the lab, the rich guy gathers his belongings and leaves. He has his driver take him to the Denver police department, where he confesses. After the detectives confer with the DA, the man is charged with....
...making an obscene clone fall.
