20 years in law enforcement this past year. We seem to get all the blame yet we are the first ones called when someone needs help. My county implemented a Mobile Crisis Team 2 years ago. End of December 2023 13 of the 20 positions were cut by the director of the Health Department that oversaw them. His reasoning is that we (the police) were over utilizing them for calls that we had traditionally handled ourselves such as suicidal persons, persons in a mental crisis requesting help, overdoses or unattended deaths where family were on scene and distraught. Even the local health department doesn't want to spend the money to help people. Just send the police. I have had people that have legitimately made an attempt to harm or kill themselves that I have taken to the local hospital for an emergency evaluation only for them to be released within 4 hours. 7 times they have left the hospital and successfully killed themselves. Twice I have been named in wrongfully death lawsuits as a result. Never has the hospital staff that said they were not a threat to themselves been named. I am trained for both the Taser and FN303. Only our swat team has the FN303. 6 Taser deployments in the last 15 years and only 1 was truly effective. Drugs, clothing, and other factors can and do limit its effectiveness. Currently unless someone agrees to go for an evaluation, I can't even force them to go to the hospital now. Families can get a court ordered evaluation issued by a judge but if the person says, "Fuck you I am not going", our response is OK see you tomorrow. I have been shot at, stabbed twice, almost run over with a car, and exposed to HIV, AIDS, Hep C and God knows what else on multiple occasions. Just in the last 5 years I have buried 8 of my friends and coworkers and been to over 15 funerals for others killed in the line of duty just because of the uniform they wore. We are treated in many areas like returning veterans from the Vietnam area were. I was diagnosed with PTS, depression, and anxiety in 2018 following a horrific call in 2017 where an infant was killed. My wife was pregnant with our son at the time. December 2017 and again August 2018, my sons first Christmas and his first birthday I ended up with a gun in my mouth ready to pull the trigger. The only thing that stopped me was the thought of that being my legacy for my son. I am far from being ok but I am much better that I was. My wife and a few very close friends made sure I got the help I needed in time in spite of what a commander at my agency thiught and said about me. Some of you assholes on here have brought me more laughter and smiles than you will ever know. My collection of stolen memories from here has resulted in my permanent bann from facebook. I thank you for that. All that being said until you are willing to put on the uniform and do the job yourself shut the fuck up about the outcome of that video. Military, first responders fire/police/ems see the worst of the worst on a daily basis. Teachers are not far behind in today's schools unfortunately. Yet all are expected to make a split second decision while being under trained, overworked, and unsupported by the people in charge only to be scrutinized and demonized by those that have never been in that situation themselves. As I tell each new police class when I visit the academy to teach certain blocks, saying it, doing it, and living with the aftermath are all 3 very different things. Weather it is taking a life, doing your absolute best but still failing to save a life, or everything in between. I lost zero sleep in the life that was lost in my fatal crash years ago. He was drunk and high on a motorcycle and crossed the center line striking me head on. I was almost completely on the shoulder trying to get out of the way. That was my 3rd of 9 diagnosed concussions. I have however spent countless sleepless nights and still do, tonight being one of them as i sit in my sons room listening to him snore and finding peace in the sounds, fighting the demons in my head while remembering those I could not save no matter how hard I tried weather they be friends, enemies, or complete strangers.
First of all, you are ruining titties. Stop ruining titties. Second of all, thanks for sticking around and for fuck's sakes stop getting hit in the head. And third, yeah it is a thankless job, everyone hates cops until they need cops. I really wish you were arresting that fucker with expired tabs and no fucking idea how a stop sign works instead of pissing and moaning about me going 10 over in the left lane.
As shitty as it gets, you have kids and they really do need you even though you are probably a prick who makes them go to bed on time and refuses to believe Halloween candy makes a great dinner. My son died of brain cancer at 5 years old, I was sitting in the room with him when he expired, he was braver than most grown men and I promised him we would be together. To say it was awful is an understatement of epic proportions. I could have laid down and died beside him and been all the better for it. But I wasn't, I had to keep living. It's 30 years later and it still kills me to talk about it and it sucks to type about it. He was my buddy, he was going to be my hunting partner and best friend and he is gone and it kills me.
The point of this shitty story? Well you honestly never know what horrible baggage other people are living with and yet they still keep living. When it is shitty and you ask yourself why, take a look at the things in your life that make life worth living. Kids, a wife that might love you (if you ask fuckers here it is always questionable), a roof over your head, money in the bank, guns to shoot and all sorts of good things are there even when life is pure shit otherwise.
Take care of you and yours. If you need a break from being a street cop try and find one of those lazy sell-out jobs for a few years. I was not a cop, I was in the military and worked in public utilities. They hate you for not saving their piece of shit relative, they hate me for every power and water outage and blame me when they never paid the fucking bill. We catch a dead guy in the trash rakes of the dam every year, sometimes three of them and they stand there talking shit like we killed their asshole. Drunk and fell off the boat, high as fuck and no life jacket or shot and stabbed by their fellow criminals and tossed in the river and why didn't we save them? Really, they went to the bottom three miles upstream and started floating when they rotted and bloated. They were two weeks dead when they got here.
Get the help you need, from actual professionals and from this bunch of retards here. We need you to stick around. And when you are around, be around cars with fucking expired tabs or somewhere close to that fucking idiot doing the speed limit in the left lane. If you can be there, be near a liquor store on welfare payday and arrest some of those fuckers with warrants buying booze and going home to beat their wives.
Better yet, use your seniority to take time off for the holidays and do stuff with your family. Use your time off to do things that make you happy, unless you enjoy killing hookers, then just do that at work like all the other serial killers. All those guys who left before you, want you to make it all the way to the end and to die peacefully in your sleep, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the car.
You have supporters, always remember that.
Look at this post on Facebook 
