Maggie’s Motivational Pic Thread v2.0 - - New Rules - See Post #1

Speaking of Dirty D.....

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I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business. This fat chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said "Hi sweetie... how about you take me back to your place and we'll have some fun?" I said "Sorry, I can't. I haven't got any lubricant". She said breathlessly "You won't need any lubricant with me sweetie". I said "Yes I will. I've only got standard size door frames".

How do you get an Ohio State cheerleader in your dorm room?

Grease her hips and push really hard.
 
It-was-a-set-up-1.jpg
 
First we saw that the NFAC were shooting each other now the ANTIFA members are flaming themselves with there own Molotov cocktails.

As the ladies of the south are found of saying; “Well bless his heart,”



I'd suggest people stop wearing Media and Medic "credentials" since many bad actors are adopting those as some sort of cover/camouflage and as such will become targets sooner rather than later. And if you're an actual journalist or medic, you should be SCREAMING about those bad actors and identifying them BEFORE you become a target.
 
I'd suggest people stop wearing Media and Medic "credentials" since many bad actors are adopting those as some sort of cover/camouflage and as such will become targets sooner rather than later. And if you're an actual journalist or medic, you should be SCREAMING about those bad actors and identifying them BEFORE you become a target.

Considering how the "press" portrays these Marxist terrorists as "heroes" and "peaceful," I couldn't give two Hershey squirts if a real (fake news) journalist got caught in any crossfire.
 
Speaking of Dirty D.....

--
I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business. This fat chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said "Hi sweetie... how about you take me back to your place and we'll have some fun?" I said "Sorry, I can't. I haven't got any lubricant". She said breathlessly "You won't need any lubricant with me sweetie". I said "Yes I will. I've only got standard size door frames".
That’s why you keep a mattress in the garage, do I have to think of everything?
 
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.

The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said "Your first job will be to sweep out the store".
"But I'm a Yale graduate... I have an MFA the young man replied indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise that" said the manager.

"Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how"...
 
A 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was badly broken anyway.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire exactly where the heart would be on a woman.

The doctor said "Your heart would be just below your left breast".

Later that night Mildred was wheeled to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.