Maggie’s Motivational Pic Thread v2.0 - - New Rules - See Post #1

[Daddyusmaximus]

Photo of some chick a hacker used in a friend request on fascistbook.

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

Probably the longest Dad Joke I've ever read.

A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench.

He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out.

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says "Sorry to
bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time". Flattered, the man responds "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well" the woman says "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favourite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999 my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12-years-old, it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden".

The man can't believe it. "I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each other's' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavilion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough" says the woman "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain, how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favourite author".

Now the man is really taken aback "Get out of here. I was an English major in university! I specialised in 19th century American literature, this is like my fourth- or fifth-time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain".

They both can't believe it; this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Okay" the woman says "well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favourite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favourite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds "It's a date".

Good one too.

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Blackdirt Cowboy]

Now that’s one hot pussy.

 

[seanh]

View attachment 7762334

I know that look... Dad used to wrap a box, inside a Box, inside a Box...nothing in the last box...lol. Yep, that was the sense of humor I grew up with...

 

[BigTex]

Burning the crabs off.

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Blue Sky Country]

Fluting? Is this even possible? You guys are a bunch of demented reprobates.

View attachment 7762390

First time I tried fluting was in 2007...

I don't have access to CNC or large shop equipment so I had to do a little practice by hand to make sure I knew what I was doing. A spare Pietta .36 caliber 1851 Navy cylinder. Plenty of metal to work with. Very slow, careful, sober, and patient work with a Dremel drum sanding wheel and a conehead for final finishing touches. Shallow flutes but visible and definitely gives an "Old West gunslinger" look if cylinder and gun is also given the patina treatment.

Oh and by the way, the shit described in that image is actually called "cock docking". How I know? Well, you just CANNOT be a regular denizen of the gritty and lawless frontier towns like SomethingAwful, Kiwi Farms, Newgrounds, and the Chans over the years without learning the vernacular language too...

 

[BuildingConceptsllc]

I do agree with your definitions above, and you are correct in assuming that I am an atheist (always have been, although my mother is a believer [so is my wife]). I have many friends who are believers and I have had many good discussions on faith and religion each respecting each others views and not trying to change them. However, my post was correcting what I see as an error in your post (in my opinion).

How many people have been killed and wars started all in the name of religion and 'my god is better than your god'. And most religions have at some time killed/started wars in the name of their faith. Any belief in its extreme is probably a bad thing. However, the point I was making is that atheist don't go round trying to convert believers from their faith which is what you comment was implying.

I've yet to see a religion kill or do anything to anyone. People have done those things and called it religion, but that doesn't make it any religion doing so, anymore than it makes a glock responsible for shooting someone. Just because people say the gun did it, the gun itself is not capable of doing any action what so ever without a person doing it. Religion is not able to do so either, be it atheism, or Christianity.

 

[breatheandsqueeze]

 

[168BTHPM]

SOMEONE PLEASE BREAK OUT THE BAN HAMMER, THIS SHIT IS GETTING OLD

View attachment 7762675

I swear to fucking God you democrats are ruining everything.

 

[Cowpokey]

Need a longer set of patches; Zika, Anthrax, Smallpox...

 

[168BTHPM]

 

[Mr.Kirk]

 

[quietmike]

I swear to fucking God you democrats are ruining everything.

Leftys are parasitic hypocrites who love to complain about human rights while they support an ideology that celebrates killing babies to avoid the consequences of being a filthy road whore.

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Garvey]

Oh, I must have missed the joke element of your response.

Well, you're a foreigner, across the Atlanic sooooo.....



So no one gives a shit.

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[missed]

It's cool when your driving around DFW airport and a big ass plane goes over the bridge over you.

 

[Daddyusmaximus]

I know that look... Dad used to wrap a box, inside a Box, inside a Box...nothing in the last box...lol. Yep, that was the sense of humor I grew up with...

Did that to my kids one year, but in the last box was the first clue to the all over the damn house treasure hunt they had to go on to find out what they got... That was hilarious.

 

[Blue Sky Country]

So what happens if you get ALL 5 COVID vaccines?...

 

[Jscb1b]

I've yet to see a religion kill or do anything to anyone. People have done those things and called it religion, but that doesn't make it any religion doing so, anymore than it makes a glock responsible for shooting someone. Just because people say the gun did it, the gun itself is not capable of doing any action what so ever without a person doing it. Religion is not able to do so either, be it atheism, or Christianity.

Wait a minute, you mean Alec Baldwin did shoot that girl? Well shit!

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Hawkwood]

}

Give it up and quit being a douche. You’re proving the point originally made; that Atheists can’t just leave people alone about their beliefs.

2019 Working in Thailand with a guy from India.
We go to lunch and the guy orders beef and noodle soup.
I'm like "Wait. Aren't you Hindu?" "I thought you weren't supposed to eat beef?"
He says "I am Hindu, I never said I was a good one."

I'll covet all I want.

I’m convinced we can all look at the “menu” and wonder what that would taste like… but most of us just look and we do not order the delicacy.
There are promises to keep.

 

[Darayavaus]

A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench.

He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out.

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says "Sorry to
bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time". Flattered, the man responds "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well" the woman says "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favourite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999 my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12-years-old, it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden".

The man can't believe it. "I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each other's' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavilion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough" says the woman "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain, how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favourite author".

Now the man is really taken aback "Get out of here. I was an English major in university! I specialised in 19th century American literature, this is like my fourth- or fifth-time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain".

They both can't believe it; this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Okay" the woman says "well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favourite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favourite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds "It's a date".

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Sieg]

Going forward, we shall call her Sparky.

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Sieg]

 

[Jefe's Dope]

Anybody know where this is/was?

 

[aprocast]

I swear to fucking God you democrats are ruining everything.

Dunno where you got the idea I am a democrat, my political views lie somewhere to the right of Ghengis Kahn

 

[168BTHPM]

Dunno where you got the idea I am a democrat, my political views lie somewhere to the right of Ghengis Kahn

 

[Darayavaus]

Dunno where you got the idea I am a democrat, my political views lie somewhere to the right of Ghengis Kahn

is that Madeline Kahn's brother? or are you talking about Genghis Khan?

 

[aprocast]

Ahh

 

[Barneybdb]

Anybody know where this is/was?

Boeing 377 Stratocruiser in Queens, NewYork, 1951.

 

[Broncovan]

 

[VA-Varminter]

 

[918v]

Dunno where you got the idea I am a democrat, my political views lie somewhere to the right of Ghengis Kahn

Then why are you such a sniveling bitch?

 

[SpookM14]

There....that should kill them crabbies.....

 

[clcustom1911]

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[PinesAndProjectiles]

I’ll donate a cheeseburger to her gofundme

 

[Gee Kay]

 

[Gee Kay]

Mark Zuckerberg Joins The North American Man-Boy Love Association, And Other Adventures In Facebook Groups

A flaw in Facebook Groups lets users add each other to embarassing groups. Target #1: Zuck.

www.forbes.com