Near death experiences

[Greg Langelius *]

OK, here goes...

'Nam, too many (incoming) Arty attacks to count (NorthEast I Corps).

After 'Nam, my Lymphoma diagnosis (1993). My second Lymphoma diagnosis (1997)

My heart attack (stents, aortic balloon pump, coronary artery bypass grafts (four), implanted defibrillator/pacemaker) 2004/2005, Second heart attack (April 2017).

Getting run out of my lane at 75MPH by a (psychotic/dementia?) Grannie in a huge Ram Pickup, and having to go full ABS to avoid ramming a semi doing 15MPH uphill, October 2017. Finding out a month later that the guy who had replaced my brakes a week before the preceding incident had left out all eight of the positioning clips on my rear disk brakes. I now drive 80 miles to the dealer to get all my work done, (again...).

Maybe it's all past now, but...

Greg

 

[Forgetful Coyote]

So many times.... I was putting the wood to this little filly in the upper floor of a two story farm house, all was good until the lights of a car coming up the drive appeared. Suddenly the moans of ecstasy were filled with shreicks of horror as my horizontally pinned sweetie grasped what was about to befall us. Needless to say what I thought were throws of sexual ecstasy related to my sexual prowess, were her attempts to get me " the fuck off her" as she stated repeatedly. Funny how I didn't hear that.

Anyway, there I was, there the situation was, it was agreed between us, that I was going to jump out the two story bedroom window. Such an agreement transpires after hastily jumping out of bed, excitedly demonstrating to each other total upheaval on what to do, and a final push out the window, by her. Me, being the total gentleman I am departed said window, pants still around ankles. I survived the fall and cursed my mini me for getting me into this situation , alas that curse fell on deaf ears as I have suffered over the years with "him" as my copilot.

No kiddin.. been in exact situation except I ran out the back door onto the balcony which to my surprise had no stairs down. I thought for sure the thud on my landing would be loud enough for even the neighbors to hear..
On another note, I had a legit out of body experience and saw what I can only describe as the devil. No body, just a head floating in darkness... Darth Maul from Star Wars is a pretty damn spot on idea of what he looked like. Smiling at me and speaking in tongues or something. Probably sounds crazy but I was totally sober and all, first OOBE I've had and I definitely wouldn't mind if it's the last. Bet your ass I went to church today too. Scared me shitless..

 

[Forgetful Coyote]

To give it a bit more detail. Ive dealt with sleep paralysis and such all my life. It wasnt until I started researching that those with sleep paralysis issues also potentially may be able to more easily access the other side/OOBE/Astral Projex'n/etc that I started putting more thought into the funny feeling Id always get a couple - few hrs before experiencing sleep paralysis. In very simplified terms, the "funny feeling" Id get could be described as a kinda sorta restless legs feeling. Usually I just wanted to(and always did/was able to, shake that restless legs feeling by moving around suddenly and basically shaking it off).

Well after said research above, I decided to let/encourage the RL's to progress/increase. From there, it transferred/increased into a very strange funny feeling in the center of my spine. At that point, I couldnt work up the nerve to take it any further. The same things/sequence of feelings/etc occurred the very next night, and I took/pushed it just a slight bit further before chickening out once again, mainly due to fear of the unknown, along with a hunch/instinct that what I could be stepping into may not necessarily be downright evil, but that there damn sure wasnt no welcoming/good vibes either.

So on the 3rd night, once again, same thing. And this time, I said FUCK IT! Whatevers out there, for better or worse, I may as well go head and see what its all about. As each time before, it started with restless leg feeling which I focused on/laid still to allow it to progress to the tingly funny center-of-spine feeling. Please bear with me, this is horrendously difficult to describe & Im doin my best! So now I'd reached the point where I'd usually have chickened out and as said, this time decided to take it all the way. So I "focused"/"pushed"/etc fully on the tingly spine feeling and.. like, fuck idk... like, a astral/inter-dimensional tunnel formed, with the tunnel entrance beginning at the center of my spine where the funny feeling was. And my.. "being"(?)/"soul"(?) was partially sucked in the/my spine tunnel & partially me voluntarily entering said tunnel. At this point, the notion of time ceased to exist completely. As I traveled through the tunnel, I cant really recall any G-forces so to speak but there may've been some. After travelling through the tunnel(remember - theres no such thing as "time" at this point), it emptied out into an infinite nothingness/darkness - with Darth Satan's bodyless-head smiling at me trying to speak to me in some crazy ass non-human/earthly language. I didnt pay much attention to what he had to say as at that I began struggling with all my might to get back to my body.

Thank god I was able to struggle hard enough to get back to my body... where I then laid paralyzed for 10-15min straight, screaming at the top of my lungs for one of my family members to come help(which of course, noone did) as everyones doors were shut along with it being 3am/everyone dead asleep.

The eeriest part of all, as I was brushing my teeth the next morning, my brother told me a crazy dream he had - in which him and my mom were standing over me as I was screaming and with eyes that were solid black. AND HE TOLD ME ABOUT HIS DREAM BEFORE I HAD GOTTEN THE CHANCE TO TELL HIM MY EXPERIENCE THE NIGHT BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Take this for what you what ya will, Im just another dude on the internet. And to add, no I absolutely dont believe it has to do with me having a evil soul deep down or anything of that sort. Aside from a few bad decisions, I like to think I'm atleast a half decent human being. I think it was just that I stepped out into the other side, and that once I voluntarily entered the tunnel, I was in "their" house and had no control what entity(s) I came into contact with/was or was not approached by...

SOrry for the long winded reply. Just... that was hands down the most insane daggum shit I ever seen't my entire life. FWIW Ive been a believer LONG before this occurred. And without intending to start any religion discussion, this experience hasnt so much shaken my belief as made me think things are a bit more complex than the bible(or your chosen religion) makes them out to be..

 

[Maggot]

To give it a bit more detail. Ive dealt with sleep paralysis and such all my life. It wasnt until I started researching that those with sleep paralysis issues also potentially may be able to more easily access the other side/OOBE/Astral Projex'n/etc that I started putting more thought into the funny feeling Id always get a couple - few hrs before experiencing sleep paralysis. In very simplified terms, the "funny feeling" Id get could be described as a kinda sorta restless legs feeling. Usually I just wanted to(and always did/was able to, shake that restless legs feeling by moving around suddenly and basically shaking it off).

Well after said research above, I decided to let/encourage the RL's to progress/increase. From there, it transferred/increased into a very strange funny feeling in the center of my spine. At that point, I couldnt work up the nerve to take it any further. The same things/sequence of feelings/etc occurred the very next night, and I took/pushed it just a slight bit further before chickening out once again, mainly due to fear of the unknown, along with a hunch/instinct that what I could be stepping into may not necessarily be downright evil, but that there damn sure wasnt no welcoming/good vibes either.

So on the 3rd night, once again, same thing. And this time, I said FUCK IT! Whatevers out there, for better or worse, I may as well go head and see what its all about. As each time before, it started with restless leg feeling which I focused on/laid still to allow it to progress to the tingly funny center-of-spine feeling. Please bear with me, this is horrendously difficult to describe & Im doin my best! So now I'd reached the point where I'd usually have chickened out and as said, this time decided to take it all the way. So I "focused"/"pushed"/etc fully on the tingly spine feeling and.. like, fuck idk... like, a astral/inter-dimensional tunnel formed, with the tunnel entrance beginning at the center of my spine where the funny feeling was. And my.. "being"(?)/"soul"(?) was partially sucked in the/my spine tunnel & partially me voluntarily entering said tunnel. At this point, the notion of time ceased to exist completely. As I traveled through the tunnel, I cant really recall any G-forces so to speak but there may've been some. After travelling through the tunnel(remember - theres no such thing as "time" at this point), it emptied out into an infinite nothingness/darkness - with Darth Satan's bodyless-head smiling at me trying to speak to me in some crazy ass non-human/earthly language. I didnt pay much attention to what he had to say as at that I began struggling with all my might to get back to my body.

Thank god I was able to struggle hard enough to get back to my body... where I then laid paralyzed for 10-15min straight, screaming at the top of my lungs for one of my family members to come help(which of course, noone did) as everyones doors were shut along with it being 3am/everyone dead asleep.

The eeriest part of all, as I was brushing my teeth the next morning, my brother told me a crazy dream he had - in which him and my mom were standing over me as I was screaming and with eyes that were solid black. AND HE TOLD ME ABOUT HIS DREAM BEFORE I HAD GOTTEN THE CHANCE TO TELL HIM MY EXPERIENCE THE NIGHT BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Take this for what you what ya will, Im just another dude on the internet. And to add, no I absolutely dont believe it has to do with me having a evil soul deep down or anything of that sort. Aside from a few bad decisions, I like to think I'm atleast a half decent human being. I think it was just that I stepped out into the other side, and that once I voluntarily entered the tunnel, I was in "their" house and had no control what entity(s) I came into contact with/was or was not approached by...

SOrry for the long winded reply. Just... that was hands down the most insane daggum shit I ever seen't my entire life. FWIW Ive been a believer LONG before this occurred. And without intending to start any religion discussion, this experience hasnt so much shaken my belief as made me think things are a bit more complex than the bible(or your chosen religion) makes them out to be..

Im reposting this in the sleep paralysis thread.

 

[Maggot]

No kiddin.. been in exact situation except I ran out the back door onto the balcony which to my surprise had no stairs down. I thought for sure the thud on my landing would be loud enough for even the neighbors to hear..
On another note, I had a legit out of body experience and saw what I can only describe as the devil. No body, just a head floating in darkness... Darth Maul from Star Wars is a pretty damn spot on idea of what he looked like. Smiling at me and speaking in tongues or something. Probably sounds crazy but I was totally sober and all, first OOBE I've had and I definitely wouldn't mind if it's the last. Bet your ass I went to church today too. Scared me shitless..

Check you pm's

 

[BearNaked]

Ex-Wife stuck my pistol in my stomach one night because I was going to bed at 930 on a Wednesday night since I had to be up at 5 am for work. Basically, how dare I go to bed when she has off during the week. Luckily I was able to rack the slide just as she pulled the trigger so it didn't go off. Borderline personality disorder is no joke.

 

[Threadcutter308]

Ex-Wife stuck my pistol in my stomach one night because I was going to bed at 930 on a Wednesday night since I had to be up at 5 am for work. Basically, how dare I go to bed when she has off during the week. Luckily I was able to rack the slide just as she pulled the trigger so it didn't go off. Borderline personality disorder is no joke.

Jesus.....glad to hear she’s your Ex. ?

 

[Veer_G]

Jesus.....glad to hear she’s your Ex. ?

Crazy is fun to ride fast and hard until the shit shakes itself into pieces. Learn how to read between the lines and slide out, or, better yet, ride something slightly more sedate that isn't high maintenance.

 

[Charlie112]

Working in the mining industry dam near 40 years I have had a few close ones. I was heavy equipment foreman, we were moving a 75 ton haul truck out of our shop. I would always go outside and check for miners or equipment in harms way before I would give the all clear to back out. I gave the all clear and at the same time it started raining cats and dogs.. mostly dogs. Well, don't ask me why, but I decided to hurry back into the shop, tripped and dam near fell under the rear wheels... scared the shit out of me,, did not tell crew until next morning at our start of the day safety meeting...rain doesn't bother me at all, just one of those days when my brain went into detent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[RickyRodney]

deersniper has almost killed me a few times, either running me over or getting me hit by trucks.

 

[WATERWALKER]

There I was hanging 150' on the end of an umbilica, cold cutting a 3" gas lift riser in the Gulf of Mexico. The cut was being made in a ditch about 10' below natural bottom and a couple foot above the 90° in the pipeline. During the final moments of the cut lateral tension due to an above riser clamp caused the pipeline to shear in half unexpectingly springing my direction and effectively knocking my dick in the dirt.

My face, the regulator, and bent tube on my superlite 27 dive hat took the brunt of the impact. Leaving me temporarily without breathing gas, a mouth full of busted teeth, and experiencing vertigo. Luckily I remained conscious and cognizant enough of the situation to open my free flow valve and notify topside of the situation to abort the dive.

Lots of other close calls involving crane ops and other shenanigans but this incident stands out most notably.

Ill try to post a picture from a different job for a bit of context.

I’m no shark expert, but that certainly looks like one in the background. Ever have any encounters w/ the local wildlife worth mentioning?

 

[Cdiver0109]

I’m no shark expert, but that certainly looks like one in the background. Ever have any encounters w/ the local wildlife worth mentioning?

Man, honestly the only times I can think ive been in any marginal danger from wildlife was while working in the bayou of South Louisiana.

Was in shallow water once working my way from our barge to a valve assembly on a well. Water was only about 8-10' deep but the well had what's call a key way built around it. Essentially just telephone poles drove in the mud tied together with 12x4's" and metal grating for a boat landing/platform for the production operators and wire line guys to work from. After reaching the key way I climbed up one of the piles to get my bearings and to my surpise the biggest goddamn cottonmouth I've ever seen pops up about a foot in front of my helment. That big dirty bastard was every bit of 5.5" and as far as my forearm. Scared the shit out of me... in the most literal sense! Poor tender had to rinse out my grease stained wetsuit after that dive, Lol.


Another time I had a healthy sized lizard take an uncomfortable interest in me while I was in the water. Which is generally unusual behaviour for an alligator. Normally theyll chill out and watch you from a safe distance but the galley hand at the production facility we were at had been dumping their slop every day for him. So i reckon he was looking for an easy meal from too.

Salt water had it's own obstacles as well. Mainly: fire coral, trigger fish, bristle worms, morrays, and man o'wars. Sharks were the least of my worries.

Here's the lizard that tried assaulting me and a couple aquatic weasels that lived at the same facility.

 

[bigjake83]

Wife had Historectomy, 2014
Since then I've concluded I'd be safer back in the Sand Box...

 

[WATERWALKER]

Man, honestly the only times I can think ive been in any marginal danger from wildlife was while working in the bayou of South Louisiana.

Was in shallow water once working my way from our barge to a valve assembly on a well. Water was only about 8-10' deep but the well had what's call a key way built around it. Essentially just telephone poles drove in the mud tied together with 12x4's" and metal grating for a boat landing/platform for the production operators and wire line guys to work from. After reaching the key way I climbed up one of the piles to get my bearings and to my surpise the biggest goddamn cottonmouth I've ever seen pops up about a foot in front of my helment. That big dirty bastard was every bit of 5.5" and as far as my forearm. Scared the shit out of me... in the most literal sense! Poor tender had to rinse out my grease stained wetsuit after that dive, Lol.


Another time I had a healthy sized lizard take an uncomfortable interest in me while I was in the water. Which is generally unusual behaviour for an alligator. Normally theyll chill out and watch you from a safe distance but the galley hand at the production facility we were at had been dumping their slop every day for him. So i reckon he was looking for an easy meal from too.

Salt water had it's own obstacles as well. Mainly: fire coral, trigger fish, bristle worms, morrays, and man o'wars. Sharks were the least of my worries.View attachment 6881256View attachment 6881257

Here's the lizard that tried assaulting me and a couple aquatic weasels that lived at the same facility.

That is crazy. The gator is definitely big enough to do some damage! Our cottonmouths only get like 3’ & that is plenty! I’m not afraid of snakes, but I give them their due respect. Do you run into these encounters w/ wildlife often?

 

[Cdiver0109]

That is crazy. The gator is definitely big enough to do some damage! Our cottonmouths only get like 3’ & that is plenty! I’m not afraid of snakes, but I give them their due respect. Do you run into these encounters w/ wildlife often?

The lizards were common in the canals and even though they were curious by nature, they generally kept their distance. That was generally the case for everything else too. Once you accepted that they were absolutely going to be there you went about doing your job as if they werent. Except trigger fish... Fuck those territorial jackwagons! Seen lots of cool stuff in and out of the water though. Miss it at times but you can't put a price on family. So i prefer where I'm at now.

 

[Forgetful Coyote]

Nothing gives me the creeps like a water moccasin. Jeez them motherfuckers send chills up my back on sight everytime!

 

[timesublime]

Except trigger fish... Fuck those territorial jackwagons!

I had one bite my goggles off my face, cut the rubber nose piece and was coming back for round two. Came full speed out of chunk of brain coral. MF bit me in the lower back as I tried to get away.

I agree with your assessment.

 

[jrassy]

Nothing gives me the creeps like a water moccasin. Jeez them motherfuckers send chills up my back on sight everytime!

I was swimming in a river outside Bowling Green Virginia and I got on this sand bar stretch in the middle of the river around 6:00pm on a summer day . Fucking water moccasins started swimming out to the sand bar from both sides of the river, holy shit. I had to say fuck it and swim back thru while people on the shore were screaming" there's a water moccasin right in front of you" .

Found out a couple years later I'd rather have the water moccasin s than the jelly fish that were stinging me!

 

[Peloton]

What a coincidence seeing this topic, was just having this conversation with a friend I haven't seen in 30 years. Um....at work, at least a dozen legitimate near death experiences; shot at a couple times, to include .00 buck from a double-barrel into the sheetrock two feet in front of me. A "almost" plane crash over Greenland. Ex-psycho girlfriend coming at me with a kitchen knife. It's a miracle I'm still here....

 

[Peloton]

Ex-Wife stuck my pistol in my stomach one night because I was going to bed at 930 on a Wednesday night since I had to be up at 5 am for work. Basically, how dare I go to bed when she has off during the week. Luckily I was able to rack the slide just as she pulled the trigger so it didn't go off. Borderline personality disorder is no joke.

Pretty sure I dated her sister........

 

[straightshooter1]

LOL (at myself), as I was thinking the title of this thread had to do with real NDE's.

Like previous posters, I've had my share of close calls from acute appendicitis when I was a kid as well as almost drowning, a long tour in Vietnam and highway driving incidents and private plane miscues. When I think about it, I feel VERY luck to have made it through 70 years.

 

[Maser]

Almost choked to death on a Tide Pod.

 

[BearNaked]

Pretty sure I dated her sister........

BAAAHAHAHA!!!!! I send you a six pack to help out.

 

[BearNaked]

Almost choked to death on a Tide Pod.

doesn't surprise me. have you tried smoking it.

 

[Jefe's Dope]

Was playing in a dumpster once with a friend when I was about 5. The trash truck came and dumped us in the hopper. After we gathered ourselves from being dumped in, I looked up and said "it looks like the roof is coming down". My friend was freaked the fuck out. I tried to get him to settle down and climb out the way we came in. He was just standing there screaming. He was so loud that the guys operating the truck could hear him. They shut down the truck and opened the back door. Their eyes got about as wide as a saucer plate when they saw us standing there. They pulled us out and took us back to our parents. I begged the entire way for him not to tell my mom. He told, I was grounded for week.

 

[04JRB]

I am a pipefitter / plumber. I was working at a Firehouse, running a new 2" non potable water line for the tankers to quick fill. This was about 25-30 feet high, off a ladder. My apprentice was on the back side of the double sided ladder holding my acetylene B tank while I was sweating the last fitting. He F'n dropped the B tank, ripped the torch handle out of my hand and landed nipple down onto the Fire Department's oxygen tank rack on the floor with the full bottles of oxygen. How that nipple didn't bust off of the acetylene and explode, I do not know. That scared me pretty good!