I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes Iknow, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office
To request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman, KS
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
-- From Kansas City
How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City , Mo.
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It's pronounced "Ledasha".
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.
If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'
Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
And for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
Hey, I was at the range for qualification, the team I was assigned to had to be 'safety' for the department to change to Glock sidearms (21's and 21C's, .45 ACP). A seasoned uniformed officer pulled her weapon and began to shoot, first round center of mass hit, then the pistol had a failure to feed on the second round, she simply cleared it and continued on, next round no issue, then failure to feed. This caught my attention, the pistol was failing to feed on every other round. Glocks can have an issue with failing to feed if you do not have a firm grip, usually not every other round though. So, now the range officer has noticed we both walk up, I offer my weapon, she takes it and proceeds to knock out the target(her score was in the 90's). The range officer picks up her weapon, drops out the magazine, every other round was in backwards. Upon questioning, she simply stated she did not know for sure which way the bullets went in, that way, should have at least half of them right...!?!
Its like 'here's your sign'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes Iknow, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office
To request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman, KS
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
-- From Kansas City
How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City , Mo.
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It's pronounced "Ledasha".
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.
If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'
Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
And for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
Hey, I was at the range for qualification, the team I was assigned to had to be 'safety' for the department to change to Glock sidearms (21's and 21C's, .45 ACP). A seasoned uniformed officer pulled her weapon and began to shoot, first round center of mass hit, then the pistol had a failure to feed on the second round, she simply cleared it and continued on, next round no issue, then failure to feed. This caught my attention, the pistol was failing to feed on every other round. Glocks can have an issue with failing to feed if you do not have a firm grip, usually not every other round though. So, now the range officer has noticed we both walk up, I offer my weapon, she takes it and proceeds to knock out the target(her score was in the 90's). The range officer picks up her weapon, drops out the magazine, every other round was in backwards. Upon questioning, she simply stated she did not know for sure which way the bullets went in, that way, should have at least half of them right...!?!
Its like 'here's your sign'
