Replies to "Thank you for your service."

[Graham]

Replies to "Thank you for your service."

I have been accused of being both absolute and overly protective of the honor i place on our military. When I speak of the uniform and its value to me, I'm speaking of the thousands who have died to protect the things i hold dear. Your remarks expose a deep seated difference if our values.

No they don't. Please spare us the drama, as my opinion has nothing to do with anyone dying. And it's not as if I'm trying to repatriate communists, traitors and spies. I'm just not being a fan boy, that's all. If you want to accuse me of being rude and disrespectful the line for the ladies' room is down the hall.

 

[JeffLebowski]

Sick of hearing it.

 

[crane op]

I am a veteran but never was in combat I got out in march of 01 I get thanked for my service I don't feel that I did much of a device but I still reply with a thank you and go on but I can tell when someone is sincere when they say it and when there not and I do thank all of you on this site that have served our country

 

[Graham]

I'm thinking of trying: "Thank you for your servitude." But only on those who are still enlisted.

 

[siscoe308]

No drama intended. I was merely trying to give my two cents. I couldn't care less if you choose to be rude and disrespectful in your personal time. But when someone saids thanks for your service, it's not solely about you, it's about the military. So IMO you are a representing the military, so "thanks for breathing" or "it wasn't for you" is a poor choice to represent the values that the military stands for. I know I'm on a soapbox but I won't be dismissed to the ladies room! They want me to put the seat down....

 

[sidewaysil80]

Those of you bashing this topic need to get off your high horse and understand its nothing to with the notion of being thanked rather then when people say it disingenuously or throw it out because society says your supposed to thank you vets.

I've literally talked politics with progressive/liberal pieces of shit and listened to them bash the military or those who join it (savages, murderers, mindless drones, etc.) and talk about how pointless the wars were (corporate slaves, oil, etc.). If I interject my service or mention I was a Marine they have immediately cut me off to say "thanks for your service". Really?! When its said because "its expected to be said" is when I have a problem.

If someone says it to me I automatically say "thank you" and put as much effort into sounding sincere as they did when thanking me. In the off chance it comes up and someone genuinely gives a shit, I certainly become way more personable and receptive.

I'm polite and respectful because that's what Marines do, but don't expect me to kiss your ass or put you on a pedestal just because you thanked me. Then typically follow it up with "I was almost going to join after high school but...(insert excuse).

 

[coach4christ]

I thank all people in uniform. It is the least I can do and I sincerely mean it. If at a restaurant, I buy their meal, usually anonymously. Not for my benefit, but for theirs. I wasn't around for Vietnam, but from what I have read, it was a travesty to what happened to our soldiers. I don't want any of our men and women today feel like their sacrifice is not appreciated. I won't even pretend to understand war and what war does to our soldiers, but I can be grateful that we have the best military the word has to offer and be respectful for the service of others.

 

[Graham]

Well that explains my lack of decorum and politesse: I was never a Marine. LOL!

 

[sidewaysil80]

Well that explains my lack of decorum and politesse: I was never a Marine. LOL!

Not everyone can be perfect (or handle the obscene amounts of homoerotic behavior) lol.

 

[E. Bryant]

Something to consider - what appears to be a forced or disingenuous response could simply be social awkwardness. I say this because I don't always know when it's appropriate to offer thanks in a variety of social encounters in general, and that's especially true with regards to this specific situation.

I suspect that many fellow civilians (especially of my generation) have similarly modest concerns about being put into a damned-if-we-do-damned-if-we-don't situation when presented with information suggesting that someone has served. It's not always clear whether it's worse to say something at the wrong time or in the wrong tone, and yet I was raised by my Vietnam-era parents to pay respect to veterans in what may very well have been a bit of ineffective compensation for the grievous sins of their generation.

So, if I happen to pause or perhaps lower my voice or stammer slightly, please don't take insult; I was simply trying to find the right path through an awkward situation, and I will likely change my future approach to a default of not saying a damn thing at all.

 

[Pester]

Rare thing these days.

If you were at a local Memorial Day weekend horse show I was at you might feel differently. They were going to sing the national anthem when one of the kids clambered off their horse and ran over the announcers booth. The announcer asked all vets to stand to be thanked and as the lady started to sing the national anthem all two dozen of the 7-12 year old kids turned thier horses to face the vets in the stands with hats in hand over their hearts. The kids did that all by themselves and you might argue they should have been facing the flag but they did what was in their heart.

 

[Delta4-3]

I still live in rural, southern America, in a town with a population of 1,300. Thus, I don't think I've ever been told that out of habit. Everyone knows everything about everyone here and seem genuinely thankful. So, I usually answer with "Thanks for giving me the opportunity!" and mean it. When I was wounded, it seemed everyone was going out of their way to physically support my family, and showed their gratitude as such. For these people, I have just as much respect as those in uniform. I think a lot of this is geographical. Around here you don't really get insincere thanks.

 

[usmc02xx]

i dont say it to other peeps for a couple of reasons. One, they could have been a douche or a shitbird, so fuck them . 2. i figure i paid any debt of "thank you" off when i stood beside them. When my daughter got back from AIT we went to the airport to pick her up for her leave. People were mobbing her like she just got home from a POW camp or something. She looked so embarassed. Told me later she had no idea how to respond to those people. I told her just smile and nod and think of something really pissy as a response in your head. They are sheep. It just took one person to go BAAAH and the rest fell in line.

PS. begin rant..
Ok, im 40. was born in 1973. so i wasnt kicking during peak of vietnam. I have respect for all who served but is it absolutely required for every person that served during vietnam to have a complex? I mean for fucks sake, even people that were stationed in hawaii and shit in the AF say the word vietnam like its the end all be all of the american military experience. Yeah guys i get it, it was bad. but god damn, man up a little and stop pulling it out like the fine silver at thanksgiving everytime you feel you need some weight to your arguments. If you arent doing that this doesnt mean you, and is in no way mean to be a slam on all vietnam vets. But some of them need to get a grip.
end rant. flame on.

 

[siscoe308]

I used Vietnam as an example not because I believe it to be the "be all end all" of theaters but to draw a contrast in the treatment of vets. Heaps of uncomfortable thanks vs wads of spit. I also understand it the abuse of vets was not universal, but wide spread enough to have stuck in the minds of several Vietnam vets i have spoken too.

 

[usmc02xx]

I used Vietnam as an example not because I believe it to be the "be all end all" of theaters but to draw a contrast in the treatment of vets. Heaps of uncomfortable thanks vs wads of spit. I also understand it the abuse of vets was not universal, but wide spread enough to have stuck in the minds of several Vietnam vets i have spoken too.

wasnt aimed at you or anyone in particular.. just saying...

 

[canezach]

PS. begin rant..
Ok, im 40. was born in 1973. so i wasnt kicking during peak of vietnam. I have respect for all who served but is it absolutely required for every person that served during vietnam to have a complex? I mean for fucks sake, even people that were stationed in hawaii and shit in the AF say the word vietnam like its the end all be all of the american military experience. Yeah guys i get it, it was bad. but god damn, man up a little and stop pulling it out like the fine silver at thanksgiving everytime you feel you need some weight to your arguments. If you arent doing that this doesnt mean you, and is in no way mean to be a slam on all vietnam vets. But some of them need to get a grip.
end rant. flame on.

Haha, that reminded me of a stop I had. It was probably ten or so years ago, back when I was still in patrol, I pulled over one of those guys you mentioned for something minor (brake light or headlight out). He was driving a pickup with a topper shell on the bed and the back window had literally every "Vietnam Veteran" sticker imaginable, a "Retired US Army" sticker, 1SG chevrons/rockers sticker, Vietnam Veteran license plates, and even a Vietnam Vet license plate bracket. I walk up to the driver's side and the guy is wearing his Vietnam Veteran baseball cap with about 20 "pieces of flair" (If you've seen Office Space, you get the reference), You know, the mini combat jumpmaster wings, the mini air assault wings, the mini 1st Cav and 101st patch pins, etc., so I strike up a conversation with him. Turns out he enlisted in late 1973 or something and the closest he got to Vietnam was Ft. Ord. He retired in the mid-90's. I walked away chuckling.

 

[siscoe308]

And also explains my lack of reading comprehension.....lol

 

[Lumpy Grits]

Hav'n 3 sons, who are multi-tour combat vets(USMC, Army 'Tanker', Army Ranger).
When my wife and I thank a vet for their service-it's comes from our heart!
LG

 

[jrassy]

You don't have to thank me, Uncle Sam does twice a month.

 

[Edsel]

So how do I say thank you to a vet who's a total stranger to myself?

 

[siscoe308]

Hmmmmm.... How about 'Thanks for breathing'? No...no, try 'I know you didn't do it for me but thank you'...lol! I dare to say most vets would graciously accept a simple thanks, but BEWARE the random guy who is plum fed up with annoying ppl being grateful! Oh, you better be sincere & make eye contact! Lol...smh

 

[TheGerman]

I was drafted.

That usually gets a weird look.

 

[Graham]

Hmmmmm.... How about 'Thanks for breathing'? No...no, try 'I know you didn't do it for me but thank you'...lol! I dare to say most vets would graciously accept a simple thanks, but BEWARE the random guy who is plum fed up with annoying ppl being grateful! Oh, you better be sincere & make eye contact! Lol...smh

Or you could weep as if all the dead soldiers of the world would turn over in their graves if you didn't erupt with platitudes and fawn over his uniform.

 

[siscoe308]

Again I say fundamentally different.

 

[Graham]

Again I say fundamentally different.

I'm beginning to agree with you.

Come to think of it, I put away my bubblegum card collection a long time ago.

 

[hankpac]

For many years, and I mean DECADES here, no one EVER said anything about appreciating our service, during or after the Viet Nam War. I don't mean anything about the war itself, that was a mess from all angles, but the fact that we served at all. So a great many of us, when we recognized each other as VN Vets, would shake hands on parting or meeting, and simply say "Welcome Home." No one else was welcoming us, so we did it for ourselves.
It became a major source of camaraderie, and a joining together of brothers. It grew and grew. Once totally estranged from our country, we brought ourselves back inside the Wire. And Fuck all those unappreciative leftists. We healed.
Now these people are for the most part merely doing a politically correct version, to make themselves feel better about being such puny pukes who never served ANYWHERE, even as janitors to use the example cited above.
Here is when it means something to me: When the person speaking says, "My brother is a vet", or "My Dad is a vet",or "My mom is serving", or my "sister works at the hospital at Ft Sam" and then says, "Thank you for your service." I thank them, and ask after the health or safety of their loved one. I ask what outfit, and even offer to write, if they are 101st.
And if the person is my age, I ask them if they served. If they say no, I ask, "where the fuck were you?"
When I see a guy wearing a 101 shirt or hat, I make it a point to stop them and talk to them, regardless of age. They are my brothers, and only they appreciate the handshake, and the welcome home.

 

[Graham]

I take few minutes to ask vets about themselves and their families. But I have yet to thank anyone for their service.

 

[siscoe308]

Graham, did we just become best friends?! Do you want to go do karate in garage?

 

[Graham]

Graham, did we just become best friends?! Do you want to go do karate in garage?

I would be too afraid of you kicking my ass... And then thanking me for my service.

 

[siscoe308]

I would be too afraid of you kicking my ass... And then thanking me for my service.

Naw, if I got in a fight, I'd just tear up like I did at the end the Rescue Dawn movie....as you have seen I'm a softie

 

[Graham]

http://m.theatlantic.com/national/a...erans-by-taking-them-off-the-pedestal/281316/

http://revoltdaily.org/stop-thanking-veterans-for-their-service/

 

[MosesTheTank]

...

1. Context matters
2. The sincerity can be detected
3. A simple change to the phrase matters, instead of, repeating what you believe you are expected to say

These encounters generally happen in public, and usually in places where you get food and drink, although a lot of times in airports. So how you present yourself makes a difference...

Quoting because of the dissenting opinions and to drive this home. The above is on target. We have all received insincere niceties for whatever reason, and too often for the benefit of whomever is delivering them. We know it when we see/hear it. I reject it every time and it should be rejected, inwardly or outwardly. As for the change of phrasing, if words are coming from within your heart you will make the words your own without trying. That can mean a lot of things but whether you're 8 or 80 it doesn't matter, the recipient will know the difference.

 

[Pester]

For many years, and I mean DECADES here, no one EVER said anything about appreciating our service, during or after the Viet Nam War. No one else was welcoming us, so we did it for ourselves.
Once totally estranged from our country, we brought ourselves back inside the Wire. And Fuck all those unappreciative leftists. We healed.
Now these people are for the most part merely doing a politically correct version, to make themselves feel better about being such puny pukes who never served ANYWHERE, even as janitors to use the example cited above.
Here is when it means something to me: When the person speaking says, "My brother is a vet", or "My Dad is a vet",or "My mom is serving", or my "sister works at the hospital at Ft Sam" and then says, "Thank you for your service." I thank them, and ask after the health or safety of their loved one. They are my brothers, and only they appreciate the handshake, and the welcome home.

Sorry you feel as if no one was there to welcome you home and express appreciation for your efforts. Growing up every Memorial day and 4th had time set aside to place flags around, listen to my father and his buddies talk about their time in the service and, for many years, getting bothered by 'old, angry hippies' for waving flags at the local parade. One of my strong memories was a Viet Nam vet friend of my Dads thanking us for setting those flags and waving them at the parade. He said it was nice to see kids our age appreciating vets rather than hating them for thier service.

My experiences differ from what you write however you were using broad brush strokes to illustrate a point?

 

[jrassy]

There was no doubting the sincerity in some long haired hippie fuckhead when they called me a baby killer, I experienced that in Disneyland when these two fuckheads kept shooting their mouth off, and I was on the train that went around the property, if youve been to Disneyland you know the ride, anyway off loaded and went at it 2to1, on the train platform. Did you know the Keystone cops at Disneyland really are security? They came out of nowhere.Busted up the fight,heard the story and threw the two fuckheads out of the property. To me they said" have a nice time at Disneyland" and off I went,back to chasing strays and being a hayseed jarhead at Disneyland.'
This was in 1974, I bet I lived 30 more years before I had someone say thank you for your service to me. I don't say it to other Vets, but I will buy a beer, pick up a tab.

 

[Recreational Shooter WA]

This was an eye-opening discussion to read. I guess I am one of those people some of you dislike as I thought I was actually doing something thoughtful by thanking veterans for their service. I had no idea it could be taken as anything other than sincere gratitude, and I try to be genuine as many of you have stated makes all the difference.

I don't thank every veteran I see, but if I'm engaged in conversation at work or at the range and I find out someone served I make a point to give genuine thanks, because I am thankful for the men and women who volunteer.

As the son of a Vietnam veteran, I have grown up hearing stories of the horrible way these men were treated upon their return to the states. I also know how this impacted them, and it was not good. I guess I just don't want anyone to go through the hell the Vietnam soldiers went through at home. So, I say thank you instead of F-you or nothing at all.

My neighbor and friend, who is also in the army, lost his brother in Iraq and he has been dealing with a lot of PTSD since his two tours. His service has cost him dearly, costs I will never encounter. So, for those reasons I thanked him.

As I've never served in the military, I can't and wouldn't tell you guys how to feel. You have earned that right. I write this to give perspective from the other side only.

A few days ago, I was eating breakfast at Denny's and saw an elderly gentleman with a WWII veteran hat on. While I didn't thank him or buy his meal, I couldn't help but think of the hell this man probably went through and how grateful I am to him and others like him.

So, I won't say thank you to any of you guys, but I am grateful there are people out there willing to fight and I don't want any other generation to go through the shit the Vietnam veterans experienced. Just my thoughts, and we all know what that's worth.

 

[Jethro3898]

Always keep in mind that the vast majority of our society is self-absorbed and socially retarded.
Their "thank you for your service" might seem contrived to you, but is likely an awkward attempt at sincere appreciation. In my line of work, I meet total strangers all the time. It is hilarious how awkward personal exchanges can be. Most people nowadays have no concept of how to show sincere appreciation. I took a Dale Carnegie class last year and is was alarming how difficult of a time people had making sincere compliments (it was an exercise we had to do in class).

In other words, please don't become so cynical that everyone is parroting something they heard and don't really mean.
Unless a comment is absolutely dripping with sarcasm, it is a pretty decent bet that they are simply a bit retarded in their ability to express themselves to a stranger.

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

Oh yeah. by the way. Thanks for your service. (Sheww, got that out of the way. Wiping sweat from brow.)

I appreciate you, Thank you for standing for freedom.

If you sincerely mean it no one has a problem with it. Got it??

 

[rhantz]

Sooooo........How do you all feel about this "Happy Holidays" crap every December

 

[Graham]

Replies to "Thank you for your service."

A few years ago I picked-up the check for a Korean War vet who was having breakfast with his wife. I didn't thank him for his service, I just paid his bill and left.

The next week I was having breakfast with my wife, in the same restaurant, and in walks the vet with a Nazi flag he had kept from WWII.

He came to my table and unfurled it in the middle of the restaurant in front of all the other customers. On the flag were the signatures of everyone in his unit who had survived taking that outpost and who had captured that flag.

I ordered some more coffee and the old vet started to tell us the story. A few minutes later the hostess ran up and told us that some people on the restaurant were complaining about being offended at seeing the Swastika on the flag.

I told her to ask those people to come over and sit with us for a rare glimpse into the untold history of our nation. No one ever came.

I never did thank him for his service. But I think he understood that I didn't have to do that.

 

[TNT]

My ideas align a lot with two very illustrative Heinlein quotations.

“A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Friday

"Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untravelled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as "empty," "meaningless," or "dishonest," and scorn to use them. No matter how "pure" their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best."
- Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

I can't control the other person's intent, but I can work on my own intent and behavior. Even if someone gives you a backhanded compliment or worse, insults you to your face, the best thing you can do is live well and treat them well. If you aren't working to make the world more hospitable, consider what you are working to make. I struggle with this on a daily basis - I usually think mean thoughts, sometimes say mean things, and even speak ill of others in gossip. All of that is just more poison being spread. Not worth it. Not now, probably not ever. I used to hate empty platitudes until I realized that none of them can ever be 100% empty, and at the very least, they are raw material for molding good behavior.

 

[Graham]

Replies to "Thank you for your service."

TNT, I agree. Great post! I just wish I could accomplish half of that. But old habits die hard.

 

[rooster2/16]

If I reply at all I thank them for paying their taxes. Its the only reply that isn't rude.

 

[Graham]

Replies to "Thank you for your service."

If I reply at all I thank them for paying their taxes. Its the only reply that isn't rude.

Can I use that one when "Fuck Off" would suffice?

 

[KYpatriot]

Unbelievable thread. Next up, help me think of some ways to tell someone off for saying "good morning" when it clearly isnt.

People are just being courteous. They probably dont even know what to say, because apparently so many people in uniform are dicks that even a "thanks for your service" draws their ire.

How about a simple "your welcome" and get on with your life. Once in California I had a guy in effect call me a nazi before I changed his tune. I've had a lot worse insults than thanks for your service.

There are plenty of people trying to destroy this country right now, maybe you should prioritize your angst.

 

[George Az]

I don't really think about it, and don't really advertise, cause I don't really care all that much. I joined for me. However, as a I read one of the last Code Talkers passed away and I am near the Reservation, there are still a few fine Navajo Warriors around. I will ocasionally meet one, very simple humble men.

I live near a college town (NAU) and I am surprised by the war protestors and there are/were many of those too. So, there is not all a love fest for the vets and I see it turning more negative all the time for the returning guys. A few years ago, I was down in Tempe, the home of ASU, eating solo when I noticed a young shaved head scarfing down a huge Calzone. The kind of eating that only a young military guy can do.....You know what I mean. We talked a little bit, I "authenticated" his story, he had two last nights to chase some tail and Tempe isn't a bad place to try. I reached in my pocket and pulled out a nice very clean Spyderco knife slid it to him and wished him luck in his career and down range. That smile was worth the price of the knife - easy.

I grew up with Nam vets, I am just basically respectful. I have no concern for myself about my past status. if you want to thank somebody do it. I really only thank the oldest of them now, fewer survivors, different times. I do thank the newer guys sometimes, their war sucked. No Saigon, no R & R in Australia or Thailand, no booze, no playboy. Heat and those freakin plates, I feel sorry for them and their knees and ankles.

 

[Lowlight]

Some of you still confuse thanking a Uniformed Service Member, versus that obligated feeling people have that go out of their way to to thank a Veteran. When in the middle of a normal conversation you get this out of the blue, "Thank You for your Service" which is forced past their teeth. It sounds like, "oh before I forget, they wanted me to say, TYFYS.

Though as noted, the swarm some junior Service Member get in places like an airport is clearly a bit much. You can see it in their faces. Generally it's newer members flying in uniform, they can't walk from A to B and it's awkward for them As been ignored the entire thread, context matters. It's better to do it when standing next to them instead of the forced positions most find themselves in.

Sure we're pointing out the worst cases of it, but those worse cases are becoming more common. The socially awkward I get, I do my best to lighten the mood, put them at ease. But clearly there is a large group using it like a church confessional, belt out a thank you and you're good for another week.

 

[loper]

If I'm in uniform I usually say "aw, it's just my job" and act bashful. Most people pick up on that and go about their business.

Truthfully, I'm a little embarrassed by it all, when you consider how bad the Viet Nam Vets got treated. The few WWII and Korea guys left don't get much recognition either.

 

[Joea132]

This is a little disenchanting to hear from a serviceman. I have always had a strong appreciation for anybody who served and try to make a point to shake their hands and thank them. The last veteran I met was going to a 3 gun shoot and I bought $60 worth of shotgun shells for him as a thank you.

Maybe some of the guys who don't seem genuine are just intimidated or unsure of what to say. It sure beats the assholes who think you were too stupid to go to college so you joined the military...

Ps, thank you for your service.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

 

[ArmyJerry]

I always say " don't thank me, it was my honor, thank the dudes that ain't alive anymore", am thinking about telling to not thank me as I think they are lying and are not thankful as demonstrated by the way our society treats the vets in the VA.

 

[Edsel]

I really didn't realize the gesture of thanks was such a sensitive topic.

It makes me think twice about saying thanks, and would probably be less inflammatory to simply not do so.