Save money on Halloween candy by using this one trick

[TheGerman]

Don't buy any. 550 cord and zip tie the gates to your front door shut and then watch people die inside as their fat asses walk up all of the steps to get to said gate, and the gate won't open only to realize that they are still 10-12 feet away from the door and doorbell.

On another note, I randomly just found my 1998 dated KSK field jacket. I'm now worried there's a live grenade or a Carl Gustav in this box somewhere.

Happy Halloween you fucking muppets.

 

[nso123]

I did the same thing, minus the Carl Gustav.

 

[_Windrider_]

Don't buy any. 550 cord and zip tie the gates to your front door shut and then watch people die inside as their fat asses walk up all of the steps to get to said gate, and the gate won't open only to realize that they are still 10-12 feet away from the door and doorbell.

On another note, I randomly just found my 1998 dated KSK field jacket. I'm now worried there's a live grenade or a Carl Gustav in this box somewhere.

Happy Halloween you fucking muppets.

Finding a CG would be Christmas come early!

 

[TheGerman]

Finding a CG would be Christmas come early!

Especially if there are any fucking Albanians cruising around in a BRDM.

 

[Im2bent]

And here I thought you were going to recommend serving soft tacos instead of candy.

 

[acudaowner]

save money on expensive candy and have some fentanyl delivered to your door for cheap via cartel express it comes in 5 distinct flavors cherry , lemon , lime , orange , strawberry and snot for those pesky kids who knock at your door . Just one of these sweet tarts and the kids will be down for the count all for 19.95 per 2lb bag . drug mule not included in this special priced package .

 

[lariat]

save money on expensive candy and have some fentanyl delivered to your door for cheap via cartel express it comes in 5 distinct flavors cherry , lemon , lime , orange , strawberry and snot for those pesky kids who knock at your door . Just one of these sweet tarts and the kids will be down for the count all for 19.95 per 2lb bag . drug mule not included in this special priced package .

I damn near swallowed my cigar on that first sentence. Well done.

 

[Lowlight]

I bought candy; I have had six kids so far for my 3x 100-piece bags ...

I should have turned off the lights,

 

[Bigfatcock]

I put out a shit ton of candy. The full size shit too, not those scam ass miniature candy bars.

 

[6.5SH]

I put out a shit ton of candy. The full size shit too, not those scam ass miniature candy bars.

 

[Supersubes]

If you have trick or treaters, you live too close to the city. Time to move, muppets!

 

[rtB]

Last years thread was better. More poors and less fatasses = more fun. Who doesn't enjoy throwing one candy bar to three poors and watching the resulting candy bar fight.

 

[TheGerman]

Last years thread was better. More poors and less fatasses = more fun. Who doesn't enjoy throwing one candy bar to three poors and watching the resulting candy bar fight.

That's next year.

I've already decided that I am going to dress up as a giant Candy Corn and drive around in the MRZR next year. I'll stop when I see multiple groups of kids that are pretty close together.

Ill get out and toss 1 or 2 full sized candy bars near them and watch what happens. I may also offer special event challenges like mentioning that if you kick the kid in your group wearing the Pokemon outfit, I'll give you another full sized bar as well.

I'm pretty sure I'll end up fighting someone's mom at some point.

 

[JLP83]

 

[JoshPutman]

^^^^^That house is just BEGGING to get TP'd

 

[Redmanss]

Last years thread was better. More poors and less fatasses = more fun. Who doesn't enjoy throwing one candy bar to three poors and watching the resulting candy bar fight.

Bumped. It was pretty funny.

 

[kenny1773]

After the tipping thread, I pictured The Germans house one of two ways at Halloween

1. putting out a cheap 50 cent 100% empty bowl with a sign

2. hanging up a sign with an arrow pointing to the neighbors house saying we are at the neighbors house go there for candy

 

[akmike47]

I bought candy; I have had six kids so far for my 3x 100-piece bags ...

I should have turned off the lights,

I poured a whole bag of good name brand candy in one kid s bag so I could go inside.

 

[Jgunner]

I poured a whole bag of good name brand candy in one kid s bag so I could go inside.

Same here. But not at the new place. They aint walking 7 miles to come find some shitty Walmart candy. It's pure bliss!

 

[91Eunozs]

It was super easy this year…

 

[n2ishun]

^^^^^That house is just BEGGING for a leaf rake

FIFY

 

[theLBC]

is that the best you can do to insult the poors?
your wife could do better just making fun of the stupid poor people halloween bullshit at her office.

 

[theLBC]

It was super easy this year…

View attachment 7988455

no chik-fil-a sauce?!

 

[TheGerman]

is that the best you can do to insult the poors?
your wife could do better just making fun of the stupid poor people halloween bullshit at her office.

She already breaks the medical assistant and nurse's souls by mentioning that they are all poor and in debt because they all buy dumb expensive bullshit that the people who can actually afford it don't give a shit about.

 

[Doc68]

To hell with these fuck trophies.....no candy here.....had to work tonight. Wife said one kid came up and the dogs barked and he went away crying......

Good thing he learned what inflation does at an early age......

Naw....fuck that. Kids are already fat enough these days.

Doc

 

[LonewolfMcQuade]

I just tied my 110lb German Shepherd out on the front porch. Not a one of the little freeloading fuckers has made it to the candy bowl yet.

 

[Maggot]

German I want some of what youre smoking.

 

[akmike47]

I think most of the kids here get beat still they all come up and grab one piece say thank you and leave. I'm telling them take more and half say no thank you....So I hook up the toddler parents and fill their bags.

 

[theLBC]

She already breaks the medical assistant and nurse's souls by mentioning that they are all poor and in debt because they all buy dumb expensive bullshit that the people who can actually afford it don't give a shit about.

at least she is consistent and sets a baseline for expectations. i can respect that.

 

[Emerson0311]

Don't buy any. 550 cord and zip tie the gates to your front door shut and then watch people die inside as their fat asses walk up all of the steps to get to said gate, and the gate won't open only to realize that they are still 10-12 feet away from the door and doorbell.

On another note, I randomly just found my 1998 dated KSK field jacket. I'm now worried there's a live grenade or a Carl Gustav in this box somewhere.

Happy Halloween you fucking muppets.

Serves your right for being how you are. Age makes many of us nervous about the shit we did back then. No unexpected kids so far, I’m good.

 

[Emerson0311]

That's next year.

I've already decided that I am going to dress up as a giant Candy Corn and drive around in the MRZR next year. I'll stop when I see multiple groups of kids that are pretty close together.

Ill get out and toss 1 or 2 full sized candy bars near them and watch what happens. I may also offer special event challenges like mentioning that if you kick the kid in your group wearing the Pokemon outfit, I'll give you another full sized bar as well.

I'm pretty sure I'll end up fighting someone's mom at some point.

Sounds like throwing water bottles off a rolling 5 ton in central Africa.

 

[Maggot]

Fuck this Halloween shit. When I was a kid we had the night before as 'Mischief Night'. Thats when you went out and fucked stuff up, toilet papered peoples lawns and houses, turned over trash cans, and a chosen few of us has some fairly high explosives...I'll eave it there

 

[cas6969]

Ice cubes.

It's dark, as long as something heavy hits the bottom of the bag, the kids are happy.

 

[Maggot]

Ice cubes.

It's dark, as long as something heavy hits the bottom of the bag, the kids are happy.

Until the ice melts and the bottom of the bag falls out.

 

[Foul Mike]

I enjoy the kids. Only had about 8 this year. I have lots of candy left. Sad.

 

[Hairball]

I bought 10 large bags and gave out 8 bags this year. We don’t have many children in my area so most are brought in an dropped off to make their rounds. A lot less homes this year giving out candy.

 

[JoshPutman]

Fuck this Halloween shit. When I was a kid we had the night before as 'Mischief Night'. Thats when you went out and fucked stuff up, toilet papered peoples lawns and houses, turned over trash cans, and a chosen few of us has some fairly high explosives...I'll eave it there

You probably slid people's outhouses back about four feet, too, I'll bet.

 

[91Eunozs]

no chik-fil-a sauce?!

Hell no! That’s pantry top shelf fixin’s

 

[Maggot]

You probably slid people's outhouses back about four feet, too, I'll bet.

M-80's

 

[Aftermath]

I'm pretty sure I'll end up fighting someone's mom at some point.

Says the tough guy that can't even fight a parade Karen.

 

[GreenGO Juan]

Trick motha fucka.

 

[2aBaC̶a̶]

Grinches.

 

[LawnMM]

Says the tough guy that can't even fight a parade Karen.

 

[XP1K]

This guy was hand out full size snickers. With a few conditions.

 

[sharpshot50]

Full size candy bars are for poors too…

 

[roostercogburn98]

M-80's

Why would you give kids an M80? Seems kinda dangerous

 

[Bigfatcock]

Full size candy bars are for poors too…

View attachment 7988837

That’s like $50 worth of guns.

 

[sharpshot50]

That’s like $50 worth of guns

Hey man, we can’t be giving them the good stuff, they’re kids!