Share Your Poop!!!

[Fx51LP308]

Over the last few years, I believe I've developed the very essence of the perfect poop. The objective being, the cleanest "drop" such that it requires only minimal "paperwork" thereafter. That secret being:

DON'T PINCH!

Do everything you can to avoid "pinching" unless you are absolutely sure you have "dropped your last." And, usually, if you're careful, you can tell when it's your "last drop." Certainly, you begin by putting the pressure on to get one started. But once you feel it going, take the pressure off and let it drop naturally. Just let it flow. Don't pinch until you're absolutely sure all has "exited." If the "end product" is at the correct consistency and thickness, you'll be able to tell when it drops clean. Then you can confirm by pinching and completing the paperwork.

Remember, when it comes to the perfect poop, think the

strategy.

 

[Steel head]

5/6&7/21 poop report
5/6- just a great poop, textbook specimen with a proper trumpet announcement,,,8.2/10

5/7-cinco de Mayo revenge!
Messy, stinky and spicy but good volume,,,,,6.3/10

 

[JbBooks]

Ok boys and girls, so for the last couple days poop report:
It all started with a sore toe, called the doc he said probably gout. He calls in a script, I take said script as prescribed, about 7 hours later my belly does some things, I assume it’s from the allsups burrito I had for lunch, a nasty watery evil poop 10/10 on just foulness. This continues throughout the night into the am, I grab spare clothes and head to work, I end up leaving a Hansel and gretal like trail of crumbs in the form of shit tickets across the state of Oklahoma. So I call the doc and say, what evil did you give me and when does it go away, he chuckles and says about a day. Fast forward to the evening, after shitting pure liquid for 24 hours I’m pretty wore out, I get up go to the bathroom at the house sit down and........ Fart!!! I fucking farted, thank the tiny infant baby Jesus, it’s over! I stand up walk into the living room and fart again in front of the wife, just to show her my progress, and........... pooped my pants.
So the moral of the story is, if you get gout, cut your fucking toe off before you call the doctor cause I ain’t ever had stitches try to kill me with diarrhea!

 

[powdahound76]

@Bundy - that sir, was a wonderful write up. thanks for the laughs!!

 

[Mike Casselton]

Ok boys and girls, so for the last couple days poop report:
It all started with a sore toe, called the doc he said probably gout. He calls in a script, I take said script as prescribed, about 7 hours later my belly does some things, I assume it’s from the allsups burrito I had for lunch, a nasty watery evil poop 10/10 on just foulness. This continues throughout the night into the am, I grab spare clothes and head to work, I end up leaving a Hansel and gretal like trail of crumbs in the form of shit tickets across the state of Oklahoma. So I call the doc and say, what evil did you give me and when does it go away, he chuckles and says about a day. Fast forward to the evening, after shitting pure liquid for 24 hours I’m pretty wore out, I get up go to the bathroom at the house sit down and........ Fart!!! I fucking farted, thank the tiny infant baby Jesus, it’s over! I stand up walk into the living room and fart again in front of the wife, just to show her my progress, and........... pooped my pants.
So the moral of the story is, if you get gout, cut your fucking toe off before you call the doctor cause I ain’t ever had stitches try to kill me with diarrhea!

They say, once you reach 50 to never trust a fart.
Thankfully, my shit/air seperator is completely functional.
I keep hearing from @8pointer that my farts sound wet and he thinks I shit my pants.

Well, he ate some BBQ yesterday and we can wait on his poop report.

Mine will be a solid.

Dan's will be more like the Turdenator truck that sprays the fields in Germany

 

[atepointer]

They say, once you reach 50 to never trust a fart.
Thankfully, my shit/air seperator is completely functional.
I keep hearing from @8pointer that my farts sound wet and he thinks I shit my pants.

Well, he ate some BBQ yesterday and we can wait on his poop report.

Mine will be a solid.

Dan's will be more like the Turdenator truck that sprays the fields in Germany

Hey this morning was like it was wrapped in cellophane. One shaved wombat out in about 7 seconds, pinch tapered and the wiping was minimal just for good practice no oil slick. Just got back from swimming time for breffus! Minimal rabbit food the last few days so the chocolate sprinkler is off for now.

 

[powdahound76]

This one has been a goodie this AM.

left over smoked chicken for dinner with a little home made buffalo sauce basted on as it warmed in the oven.
Paired with mexican for lunch yesterday and a “few” delicious beverages last night has been a wonderful combination!!!

 

[Steel head]

Today’s poop was fire and brimstone like yesterday!
Some wonderful noises were produced though.

 

[Steel head]

5/10/21 poop report
Today’s poop was amazing, one of those poops where you can tell it’s going to be good but when you’re look down at the results you’re amazed!
Above average volume.
Mild smell.
Moderate thunder.
Easy clean up.
Low spice level.
Just a bowl filling masterpiece worthy of note and praise.
A true patriotic poop!
9.3/10

 

[atepointer]

Wish I'd of been able to get it done in one sitting, but it was a Double Deuce so pretty much takes me out of the running. By themselves nothing to get worked up over, but if combined was a top 10 for 2021. Tmrw is bbq day which never disappoints......going to do double baked beans to ensure proper ignition. I've set my rudder for the day and I'm staying positive. I'll admit it's difficult to smile knowing I let the poop thread down.

 

[powdahound76]

You got this man!!!

We all have off days.....

 

[atepointer]

This is all I see today will be rough

 

[Steel head]

5/15/21
Much better poop than yesterday.
7/10

Yesterday’s poop was shall we say energetic and aromatic, previous night I had a bunch of leftovers I threw together and,,,,,,well it was an interesting result.

Not a full blowout thankfully.

 

[Steel head]

5/19/21 poop report
Absolutely fantastic poop today.
Awesome volume
Mild smell
Mild heat
Very satisfying!
8.8/10

 

[Mr.BR]

Halal salami

Some German pro rapefugee PR

''Religious Muslim but still sucks cock''

 

[Steel head]

6/01/21
The smell of my poop today reminds me of the current retard in chief!



But overall it was a decent turd 7/10.
Much higher rated than Xiden/hyena.

 

[Steel head]

Star date 060321

Captains log

Literally!

Today’s poop was teenager quality!
No emergency urge, just a friendly mention of readiness.
Excellent volume and shape.
Clean cut.
Low odor and heat level.
A fantastic pooping experience!
9.1/10

 

[Expert684]

Yesterday was exhausting! Seven trips, seven downloads, total fawaz discharge of brown rottten rectum water! Had the stench of death! I dropped 4 lbs! Been pounding H2O this morning! Thank god I didn't have to travel! Seems like it passed!

 

[powdahound76]

Kinda boring lately.
Need more wild foods.
more cheap beer.

6.4.21
soft
Normal color
Low volume
Low odor
Lingering clean-up.

4/10

 

[armorpl8chikn]

Bit bound up lately. Maybe dehydrated. Think ill have a can of Old Roy for supper.....

 

[Tater Salad]

Yesterday was exhausting! Seven trips, seven downloads, total fawaz discharge of brown rottten rectum water! Had the stench of death! I dropped 4 lbs! Been pounding H2O this morning! Thank god I didn't have to travel! Seems like it passed!

Around my AO we call that an "ASSPLOSION". While annoying in nature I still get a giggle at the reports before, during and after.

 

[Expert684]

Around my AO we call that an "ASSPLOSION". While annoying in nature I still get a giggle at the reports before, during and after.

Couldn't cough or sneeze! I don't have that many underwear!

 

[powdahound76]

Wow!!!

been an epic couple of days.
2nd cup of coffee not quite done and it is blast off time!!!
No time for details, epic poops is an understatement.

9/10 overall!!!

 

[powdahound76]

Awakened at midnight. Rolled over. Rumbling in my stomach told me a middle of the night deuce was on the list of "Do right now" things in life.

normal start. Solid turds, couple nice farts.

Then, someone opened the dang faucet and a stream of the foulest smelling liquid poured out of me. Seriously, sounded like I was taking a pee. You know it is something when the new stench overwhelms the standard poop smell!

Anyways, quick courtesy flush and hang out a bit in the office. Dont need to be laying down trying to fall back asleep and have another emergent faucet open up on me!
2-3 minutes and second round. smaller volume. same smell.

Surprisingly easy clean up (hate having a light on in the middle of the night, but not as bad as not doing a thorough job....) Well, to be honest I dont know. I always do, but I can imagine I wouldn't like it much.

Back to bed, another good 4 hrs of sleep from about 0100 till 0500 and wake up feeling great! just something that needed out.

that one gets 9.4/10 for an over all score!

 

[Steel head]

Those big bowel blowouts can be awesome.
Sometimes you feel years younger afterwards!

Todays poop was early and not very impressive
5.8/10

 

[Flint62a1]

How did I miss this thread all this time!!!!!!

Afew months back I was on anti-biotics and they were causing a no go situation. I fortunately decided to not trust that particular fart. Good choice. I shot a brown rocket out of my ass that I swear bounced off the back of the bowl, then grazed the bottom of the yambag before submerging.
9/10

 

[acudaowner]

 

[Mike Casselton]

Had one of those poops today that was, well, just weird.

I had been in the middle of reading a thread when the urge surfaced.

Headed to the throne and dropped trou.

Continued reading for who knows how long and decided that things weren't gonna happen.

Stood up, pulled my shorts back up and turned around to close the lid.

What? When did I do that?

Dropped trou and did the cleanup work and sent the entire package down the muddy river.

Was the thread that entertaining?
Was I so distracted that I don't recall giving it the push?

Was it that easy?

Cleanup was uneventful.
Smell nearly zero.
Effort, 9.9/10.

 

[powdahound76]

Just an old man’s memory Mike.

Happens to the best of us I hear. Or I think I heard? Maybe I imagined it….

 

[akmike47]

i don’t get the hot poop thing. I eat spicy all the time and my stink wrinkles don’t burn. I don’t normally eat sugar, but I got some homemade strawberry habanero jam that’s half peppers, and Carolina reaper honey but my chocolate starfish is fine

Maybe that’s my super power.

 

[Steel head]

Interesting development
After yesterday evenings gastrointestinal distress I was extremely something messy today.
But low and behold!
Today’s was excellent!
Well formed
Low odor
Easy clean up
Satisfying

8.9/10

 

[johnnycat]

I had Mexican yesterday with some hot salsa.

Poop was orangish and soft - not formed. Hemorrhoids are burning. And Wifey got the "Extra-Strength" TP instead of extra-soft. I feel today will be several small poops instead of one satisfying loaf.

3.5/10

 

[Steel head]

6/21/21

Wow!

Fantastic poop first thing this morning!
King coiler!
Good volume
Low odor
Low heat
High satisfaction
9.3/10

 

[Mike Casselton]

Cleanup?
You forgot to rate it.

Oh, and based on your description, it wasn't a tail dragger....

 

[powdahound76]

@johnnycat

Wet Wipes my man. Gotta keep a stash near the crapper for those “burnin stink wrinkles” days.

Poor bung hole gets to feeling like you went to sleep and someone exfoliated it with 60 grit.

 

[Steel head]

Cleanup?
You forgot to rate it.

Oh, and based on your description, it wasn't a tail dragger....

it was almost a no clean up situation!!!!!

 

[Steel head]

@johnnycat

Wet Wipes my man. Gotta keep a stash near the crapper for those “burnin stink wrinkles” days.

Poor bung hole gets to feeling like you went to sleep and someone exfoliated it with 60 grit.

With a jalapeño a day and often habaneros a ️ is common

 

[Steel head]

6/22/21
Wow!
Fantastic poopin experience just now!

Fair bit of smell
Exceptional volume and quality
Moderate spiciness
Easy clean up

9.3/10

 

[The D]

Yesterday when I got home I snacked on some Paqui ghost pepper chips and guacamole, which is delicious together and I highly recommend, so I was anticipating today with some trepidation. Unless the worst is yet to come I’m pretty relieved as it wasn’t that painful. On to the scorecard

Effort) 2/10 I didn’t have to grunt or strain or anything.

Smell) 2/10 No offensive odor, pleasant surprise there

Appearance) 8.5/10 The only thing I can compare it to is splatter paint

Cleanup) 6/10 Bit of a mess but nothing extreme.

Overall) 10/10 This is definitely greater than the sum of its parts. I fully expected this to smell awful and, uh, tingle a bit because of the very spicy chips. No pain though, just a gentle bowel clearing that only needed an extra wipe to clean up. If only they could always be this pleasant

 

[atepointer]

Exceptional download b/f swim practice this morning had marginal MV, but the BC was so well proportioned with respect to weight and length. 1:8 or 1:10 twist woudln't have mattered.....a true hybrid masterpiece. No splash, light recoil and delivery like a brick through a plat glass window b/c the flush struggled to get er dun.

9.3/10

 

[Steel head]

06/30/21

today’s poop was fantastic!
Possibly the best in the last decade!

Good volume
Low odor
Moderate spice
Excellent form factor
Super easy clean up

9.4/10

 

[Steel head]

07/05/21
Wonderful freedom poop.

8.8/10

 

[powdahound76]

Amazing poop here today as well.

Ate so much bacon, you can almost smell a little hickory and pork fat….

 

[Redhook]

Damn it! Just found this thread. And I had to take a stool sample this morning too. If I'd known, I would have taken pics for show and tell. In retrospect, I shouldn't have had that Chipotle burrito yesterday for lunch. The lab tech will have to work around the corn and black beans.

 

[Devildog]

He’s shitting in the bucket, can’t respond as to size and texture

Viral Video Appears To Show Homeless NYC Man Defecating In Janitor's Bucket

Is America is reverting to 2nd world status?

nationalfile.com

 

[The D]

He’s shitting in the bucket, can’t respond as to size and texture

Viral Video Appears To Show Homeless NYC Man Defecating In Janitor's Bucket

Is America is reverting to 2nd world status?

nationalfile.com

I’ve seen a homeless guy leaning against the wall of an overpass and splattering shit down the wall. Way to go Denver…

 

[Mudburner]

So last last week (that's two weeks ago for those of you not from Korea) my terlet started leaking around the base. Sure enough, it's broken. Right where the little bolt hole is. Off to Habitat for Humanity re-sale store for a $35 used commode.

Got it installed, won't flush. WTF Chuck? Have a look outside in the cleanout & it's plugged. Well, shit.

Hmmm, rent a snake, or call a plumber? I actually prayed about it, and the answer I got was call a plumber. 1st guy was all, "Blah blah yadda yadda, call someone else." 2nd plumber talked to me almost 15 minutes, then said he is actually on vacation. It's 4:30pm Friday, but he's got time to give me advice, which I took. Went to the hardware store & got a bladder thing that you hook to your garden hose, it swells up & blows the obstruction down the drain. Uh.. Only in this case, water starts coming up out of the ground 10' away... Now it's REALLY oh shit!

My neighbor sees me pecking at 8" of hard packed gravel and brings his skid-steer over with forks on it, and loosens up the hard packed gravel. Switches to his bucket and 3 scoops later has the drain PVC nearly uncovered. In about a minute, he saved me ALL DAY of digging with a pick & hand shovel.

So I uncover the drain. The plumber arrives & has a look, & says, "Yup, that'd do it."

A few minutes later, the Gas Company guy pulls up. He looks in the hole & says, "Your sewer line settled on my gas line." I look at him like he's crazy. He says, "Did you call 'One Call'? before you started digging?" No, I admit. I did not. He starts laughing. He was teasing me and did it with such a straight face I was ready to cry.

He tells the plumber to send the repair bill to the gas company, gets in his truck & leaves.

14 years ago, when I had a natural gas furnace installed in my building, the gas guys used a trencher, and CRUNCHED RIGHT THROUGH my toilet/sewer drain. Oops! Sorry 'bout that! And just tossed the pieces back in the hole & called it good!!! It took 14 years for that drain to completely plug up. 4"pvc drain pipe had a 1&1/4 gas line going right through the middle of it, sideways.

Ah, now I can flush all I want. True story, bro!

I know.. I know what you're thinking... "Pics or it didn't happen"... The plumber said, "It smells like MONEY to me!"

 

[missed]

Damn it! Just found this thread. And I had to take a stool sample this morning too. If I'd known, I would have taken pics for show and tell. In retrospect, I shouldn't have had that Chipotle burrito yesterday for lunch. The lab tech will have to work around the corn and black beans.

I was at the lab one morning for blood work, here comes this Mexican guy in the lab waiting room with a box. At that point you knew what was in the box as the smell filled the room. The aftermath of poor medical treatment, terrible diet, who knows what else. He didn't bring in a stool sample, he brought the whole thing in a box.

 

[Redhook]

I was at the lab one morning for blood work, here comes this Mexican guy in the lab waiting room with a box. At that point you knew what was in the box as the smell filled the room. The aftermath of poor medical treatment, terrible diet, who knows what else. He didn't bring in a stool sample, he brought the whole thing in a box.

Oh, you're not supposed to do it that way? No wonder I got some strange and disgusted looks.

I learned, never go to the lab early morning the day after a holiday weekend. I had to wait over an hour for my blood draw. However, I can confirm that every level of mouth breather came and went. So, it wouldn't surprise me if someone showed up with their shit in a box.

 

[Mudburner]

Uh, probly that's why they breathe through their 'mouf...
...just sayin... Shit smell is NOT ANYWHERE near as bad as something dead.