If you enjoy those you should like this.Those reviews are pure gold.
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Share Your Poop!!!
- Thread starter powdahound76
- Start date
3-16-2021. 9:21am.
Liquid is flowing freely from my bung hole.
Note: I am not eating anymore of those damn fiber bars. LOL
Liquid is flowing freely from my bung hole.
Note: I am not eating anymore of those damn fiber bars. LOL
OK, I got a fart story. I had a abdominal surgery about 1 1/2 years ago and had been on narcotic pain meds for about 4 days. Hadn't had a shit during that time. My kid was helping me sit down on the crapper, thought I was going to finally get some relief. I looked about 5 months pregnant. I never did take a shit, but I let out a 6-7 second fart about as loud as a jet taking off. My kid is still traumatized by the noxious fumes he inhaled. It hurt, but I laughed my head off.
No good craps this week, BUTT I did pull off one of my lesser known feats last night: waking myself up with a fart. Last several days more rabbit food than usual and had some good flutter flapppers yesterday, but I was not expecting the wake up fart. As always b/f the fart ends I'm already laughing from a dead sleep.
Large volume
Soft consistency (softer than soft serve)
Gassy
Pale color (my gallbladder is fine! Its just the chickpea GF pasta that does it)
HORRIBLE odor.
Easy clean-up on center isle.
8.5/10 for stench and cool coloring!
Soft consistency (softer than soft serve)
Gassy
Pale color (my gallbladder is fine! Its just the chickpea GF pasta that does it)
HORRIBLE odor.
Easy clean-up on center isle.
8.5/10 for stench and cool coloring!
Since we have no pictures I think it's time we talk about bowl design and it's advantages and disadvantages. Sure we can hear about these mythical beasts, but there ought to be a handicapping system like golf. I have 35 year old high flow Miami Vice art deco looking high flow crappers......both ugly AND extremely difficult to get unbroken coilers. Yes they will swallow anything you put down them may as well be an airport commercial commode, but still when I can pinch off a beast w/o breaking it's truly a treat and a feat.
Discuss
Discuss
Under wraps for now till I email Guinness the picture. LOL
Woke up to my pooch proving that last night's awful farts had meaning.
The entry foyer and the hallway by the kids' rooms was peppered with puppy poop.
I just broke out the carpet cleaner and had at it. Thankful for having it, otherwise we would have moved forward with installing hardwood floors.
Anyway, I'm now having coffee and expecting great things later, since yesterday was BBQ at lunch, and a big assed burger for dinner.
Rebecca and I had dinner with ^^^^^ Mr Stinky Pants ^^^^ up there and @Northfl
The entry foyer and the hallway by the kids' rooms was peppered with puppy poop.
I just broke out the carpet cleaner and had at it. Thankful for having it, otherwise we would have moved forward with installing hardwood floors.
Anyway, I'm now having coffee and expecting great things later, since yesterday was BBQ at lunch, and a big assed burger for dinner.
Rebecca and I had dinner with ^^^^^ Mr Stinky Pants ^^^^ up there and @Northfl
My poop is stuck.LOL
That Pink Keds fella will help you dig it loose.
I heard tell he's done it a time or two.
Halftime report: I’ve been bloated and a bit constipated so this was sure to be a battle for the ages. I also know how pregnant women feel now. Enough spoilers, let’s get to the breakdown
effort 2/10- I mentioned I was a bit constipated and, um, that didn’t help trying to birth this thing
odor 8/10- being backed up let everything marinate for longer than usual
appearance 9/10- after getting the initial grapefruit sized turd out, the rest of my bowels voided and filled up the bowl. It looked very similar to a 3D model of the big island of Hawaii from the ocean floor, breaking the surface of the water and everything.
cleanup 7/10- this was not nearly as heinous as I thought it would be. I expected it to take at least the rest of this roll but it only took an extra wipe.
In conclusion, I struggled pretty hard initially but in the end I prevailed. I’m still undefeated in my poop battles
effort 2/10- I mentioned I was a bit constipated and, um, that didn’t help trying to birth this thing
odor 8/10- being backed up let everything marinate for longer than usual
appearance 9/10- after getting the initial grapefruit sized turd out, the rest of my bowels voided and filled up the bowl. It looked very similar to a 3D model of the big island of Hawaii from the ocean floor, breaking the surface of the water and everything.
cleanup 7/10- this was not nearly as heinous as I thought it would be. I expected it to take at least the rest of this roll but it only took an extra wipe.
In conclusion, I struggled pretty hard initially but in the end I prevailed. I’m still undefeated in my poop battles
4/8/21
I named my poop Joe corn pop today.
Not a very good poop.
In fact it was disappointing.
I happily wrote an executive order afterwards and sent joe swimming away.
That was rather enjoyable to watch.
I named my poop Joe corn pop today.
Not a very good poop.
In fact it was disappointing.
I happily wrote an executive order afterwards and sent joe swimming away.
That was rather enjoyable to watch.
Haven't shared in a while b/c quite frankly I've been embarrassed by my lack of productivity. Then right when discouragement was at it's peak this afternoon I literally had to hang up from a work call 'can I please call you back in a few minutes I have something pressing I have to take care of' kind of awesome. I'm 15 minutes post-dump and can't believe what a good Mexican lunch yesterday did for my poops. I love me some beaner food. And it was one of those turds that seemed to be wrapped in cellophane I did 2 security wipes, but weren't needed just a really proud moment for me. Cliffs Notes: single beast, dark brown, tapered on BOTH ends, zero splash back and optional wipe.
Awesome drop today.
Large volume, cool color, horrible stench.
Very artistic presentation. one end down the flush hole. Nominal diameter pooh extended superiorly to the water surface where it angled to the back of the bowl, then curled left (from sitter position) in a near perfect crescent.
multiple other 4” long floaters as well as a couple smaller ones.
This gets 9.1/10.
An early Happy Friday!!!
Large volume, cool color, horrible stench.
Very artistic presentation. one end down the flush hole. Nominal diameter pooh extended superiorly to the water surface where it angled to the back of the bowl, then curled left (from sitter position) in a near perfect crescent.
multiple other 4” long floaters as well as a couple smaller ones.
This gets 9.1/10.
An early Happy Friday!!!
Atta boy dream big and never stop reaching for the stars!
If I could guarantee that it would be set off at work I would definitely do that but there are innocent people in my house
ok ok...
go down by the harbor, youll know the beer joint to go into, a 6 pack and a pickled pigs foot, but you have to drink some of the juice.
youll get effect w out the sulfur paeling the paint
i hear ya...
i dont have any good poop storys for yas.
although, little out side of the poop box...
kid is super young, diapers, at a party, no where to change little one, lay the kid out of the way on the carpet, im fast at this, the kid was poopen out hard baby turds, you know what im talking about, easy job.
theres a chiwawua little dog involved in my story
wanna hear the rest???
Today I had the best poop in well over a decade.
9.2/10.
Low essence.
Good volume and consistency.
Sit down, wow this is gonna be a good one and start grabbing paper.
Easy clean up.
9.2/10.
Low essence.
Good volume and consistency.
Sit down, wow this is gonna be a good one and start grabbing paper.
Easy clean up.
- Nov 3, 2010
- 9,877
- 20,904
Texting with my family and was reminded of how my nephew farts become deadly after he eats Gummy worms. Wife was looking up what causes that and she ran across this story.
Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.
I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck.
The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you...
Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope
...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."
Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.
So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.
Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?
So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards.
I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.
The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.
I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.
That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.
So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.
You fucking Pringle bastards.
The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again.
Fucking Pringle bastards.
This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles."
"DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS.
Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.
I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck.
The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you...
Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope
...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."
Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.
So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.
Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?
So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards.
I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.
The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.
I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.
That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.
So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.
You fucking Pringle bastards.
The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again.
Fucking Pringle bastards.
This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles."
very uninspiring poopin lately, but this on the other hand is straight up legend. i want this fart machine whatever it is....variable pitch, tone and release rate.
How awesome would that be in the checkout line at your nearest Publix?
Set it up in the candy bar bin and then let it rip when they lean down into the cart.
Or, Install it on the ladies' bathroom door and give it a whirl as they exit.
The spandex mob would throw a fit.
Just dropped.
9/10 for intriguing aroma.
You know you eat the right amount of bacon when you think you detect a faint bacon smell in your poop.
Pretty boring otherwise, but not sad due to the above
9/10 for intriguing aroma.
You know you eat the right amount of bacon when you think you detect a faint bacon smell in your poop.
Pretty boring otherwise, but not sad due to the above
SMH! Just came across this thread. It's both good and scary at the same time to know there a whole lot more of us that think the same way!
To add my contribution, I know a restaurant chain in Taipei, Taiwan (it has other branches since) called "Modern Toilet." It's a complete "bathroom/bodily function" themed restaurant. While I understand the dishes severed there taste fantastically good, their "appearance" might tend to throw some people off (or make them throw up)! All the seats in the restaurant are.... you guessed.... full replicas of toilets. In fact, so
much so that, quite often, a customer or two will actually use the seat for it's "original purpose..." forcing the restaurant to shut down for a week or two while they clean and sanitize the eating area. If you ever get to Taiwan, give them a try.
To add my contribution, I know a restaurant chain in Taipei, Taiwan (it has other branches since) called "Modern Toilet." It's a complete "bathroom/bodily function" themed restaurant. While I understand the dishes severed there taste fantastically good, their "appearance" might tend to throw some people off (or make them throw up)
! All the seats in the restaurant are.... you guessed.... full replicas of toilets. In fact, somuch so that, quite often, a customer or two will actually use the seat for it's "original purpose..." forcing the restaurant to shut down for a week or two while they clean and sanitize the eating area. If you ever get to Taiwan, give them a try.
That bar at the end of your street or the burger joint bathroom door.
If you did it on the street to the east of you at the coffee shop entrance, the high maintenance ones would lose it.
If you did it on the street to the east of you at the coffee shop entrance, the high maintenance ones would lose it.
Pretty encouraging to get the main body out by 0520. Important thing is the trouble makers are free and no port-o-let or gas station dumps today. A 3 wipe, tapered no leg lift download. Carry on.
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32 cents says you'll be heading to ol Porta Johnny before 9:30.
If you lose, you don't have to pay me, just shoot the 338 from the bench instead.
Just found this thread and WTF. I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Why is it that bathroom humor never fails to make us laugh. As a thanks, I thought I'd share a funny story, although it doesn't compare to some of what I just read.
Years ago, after a meeting, I was sitting in a conference room with my boss and a colleague shooting the shit. My boss was a funny guy, but was generally grossed out by bodily functions, his or anyone else's, which is what makes this so funny. It was really surprising to see him lean to one side and let loose a very loud fart. He apologized, a bit embarrassed, and said he was just really gassy, didn't know why. we laughed and teased him a bit which encouraged him to let a few more rip. We were having a good laugh because it was him of all people. On the last one, he leaned left to fart, then snapped back upright with a look of pure horror on his face. He jumped up and sprinted out of the room. My colleague and I looked at each other and I said, I think he just shit himself and he sniffed and said, yep, he did and we burst out laughing to the point of tears. 10 minutes later, he came back to the room and sat down like nothing happened and started asking about some work related stuff. My colleague said, hold on, lets see em. My boss said see what? Your underwear, let's see em. He said, I'm not showing you my underwear and we both said yeah, that's because your not wearing any... Where the hell did you put them? He never confessed and we never found the soiled evidence, but we all know the truth. That story became legend in the plant.
Years ago, after a meeting, I was sitting in a conference room with my boss and a colleague shooting the shit. My boss was a funny guy, but was generally grossed out by bodily functions, his or anyone else's, which is what makes this so funny. It was really surprising to see him lean to one side and let loose a very loud fart. He apologized, a bit embarrassed, and said he was just really gassy, didn't know why. we laughed and teased him a bit which encouraged him to let a few more rip. We were having a good laugh because it was him of all people. On the last one, he leaned left to fart, then snapped back upright with a look of pure horror on his face. He jumped up and sprinted out of the room. My colleague and I looked at each other and I said, I think he just shit himself and he sniffed and said, yep, he did and we burst out laughing to the point of tears. 10 minutes later, he came back to the room and sat down like nothing happened and started asking about some work related stuff. My colleague said, hold on, lets see em. My boss said see what? Your underwear, let's see em. He said, I'm not showing you my underwear and we both said yeah, that's because your not wearing any... Where the hell did you put them? He never confessed and we never found the soiled evidence, but we all know the truth. That story became legend in the plant.
Poop report 4/30/21
Haven’t looked down yet but plenty of noise and aroma.
Deceptive volume
Easy clean up
Moderate spice level
7.5/10
Haven’t looked down yet but plenty of noise and aroma.
Deceptive volume
Easy clean up
Moderate spice level
7.5/10
Got to love first poop before 0600.
Normal size.
soft consistency.
funky color and did see 1 less than well chewed cashew.
Normal aroma.
Tough clean up. Ended up with a wet wipe when usually get things all done with judicious folding of 4 squareS.
6.5/10 overall
Normal size.
soft consistency.
funky color and did see 1 less than well chewed cashew.
Normal aroma.
Tough clean up. Ended up with a wet wipe when usually get things all done with judicious folding of 4 squareS.
6.5/10 overall
Today's poop smelled like the crypt keeper's crypt.
Musty and dead smelling.
Looking back at my handiwork, it appeared that I had eaten an MRE or two. Don't know where the volume came from...
Musty and dead smelling.
Looking back at my handiwork, it appeared that I had eaten an MRE or two. Don't know where the volume came from...
Had one last week I could detect the aroma of bacon in.
Thats when you know you are consuming the appropriate amount of bacon.
Thats when you know you are consuming the appropriate amount of bacon.
Poop report 5/4/21
A decent poop
Pretty normal.
Low odor and spice level
7/10
Yesterday’s poop was quite good
Tomorrow is cinco de mayo so I forecast a few 🌶 poops this week.
A decent poop
Pretty normal.
Low odor and spice level
7/10
Yesterday’s poop was quite good
Tomorrow is cinco de mayo so I forecast a few 🌶 poops this week.
Oh boy!!!!
Started with a Yellowstone Super volcano-esque fart that echoed and may have cracked the bowl a little.
Followed by a forceful and very rapid evac of a large volume of foul foul smelling stuff. soft consistency, but not runny at all.
Probably the jalapeños from dinner... about 4 whole ones.
Easy clean up.
One to share for sure.
9/10 over all, because I know I am capable of even better!
Started with a Yellowstone Super volcano-esque fart that echoed and may have cracked the bowl a little.
Followed by a forceful and very rapid evac of a large volume of foul foul smelling stuff. soft consistency, but not runny at all.
Probably the jalapeños from dinner... about 4 whole ones.
Easy clean up.
One to share for sure.
9/10 over all, because I know I am capable of even better!
Poops with a kingly trumpet arrival are always awesome.
My second poop yesterday was like that.
I had a two poop Tuesday!
My second poop yesterday was like that.
I had a two poop Tuesday!
- Nov 3, 2010
- 9,877
- 20,904
Life started again this morning , so I guess you could say the whole day is a giant poop session waiting to happen
