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So when do you start looking?
- Thread starter Doc68
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Hi,
None..IF you are already contemplating whether you have "justification" of going through her phone....well just skip steps 1-9 and go straight to step 10.
Sincerely,
Theis
Agree with the above.
In cases like these, ignorance is bliss. Why subject yourself to more misery?
In cases like these, ignorance is bliss. Why subject yourself to more misery?
If this is a spouse you are talking about and not a child.
I might suggest that you go get yourself a good divorce attorney and talk with them BEFORE you do any snooping around on her phone/computer/e-mails etc. (Because once you go down that route, you probably are not going to like what you find).
Also perhaps decide if you are okay with an "open" marriage or if that's a hard no for you.
I've seen some folks be just fine raising the kids & living together but seeing other interests.
Others the opposite.
I might suggest that you go get yourself a good divorce attorney and talk with them BEFORE you do any snooping around on her phone/computer/e-mails etc. (Because once you go down that route, you probably are not going to like what you find).
Also perhaps decide if you are okay with an "open" marriage or if that's a hard no for you.
I've seen some folks be just fine raising the kids & living together but seeing other interests.
Others the opposite.
I would suggest moving things you do not want to loose over to someone you really trust before filing or thinking of divorce for there protection you will loose 1/2 of your stuff in a divorce if your male at best . more after she gets a good attorney at your expense . and for the love of god good luck and do not freak out as hard as it may be go jogging punch a tree not her you will cost yourself more money , loss of everything down to the penny if you freak out on her . even if she is having your best friends kid Its not worth jail time over .your life is not over even if the relationship may be . good luck and best wishes . you could just try communication and talk to her see how she feels even if it is just to listen to a 4 hr rant on how bad you are , or what you did wrong , you could get a much larger picture on where you stand .
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Wow. Yea, I would not fall into that category.
That sucks man. I’m really sorry and I’ll be praying for you.
Tough statement, but probably very good advice.
I get it... (on my 4th... Zsa Zsa would be proud)
But, you didn't cause it and the third in and of itself is a poor reason to hang on.
Some good advice given here so far. I will strongly echo getting your valuable stuff out now. My last break up I thought was amicable enough to not get everything when I had a chance. Then she turned total bitch and I didn't even get my own baby picture album.
Their lawyer(s) will happily fan the flames. More billable hours.
^^^ so true. My last divorce cost me $44k in lawyer fees.
Because she kept dragging it out.
Because she kept dragging it out.
Hi,
Not be be the bearer of bad news but it might be time you take up leasing instead of purchasing.....
Sincerely,
Theis
Not that it matters, but “she” the lawyer, or “she” the ex ?
I’ve not been divorced (36 years, holding and looks good for the long haul). But, I have been through a five year estate battle. The only checks that I have ever written that were larger were for house/real estate purchases.
Sinatra once said (words to the effect) "I don't pay women to have sex with me because I can get any woman I want. I pay the women to leave after."
Due to my lack of character judgement skills, I've found this to be a better option.
Until the rental causes a large Dr. bill...
No......I can pretty much guarantee that her lawyer was pouring copious amounts of gasoline on your ex’s emotions......
Not really... her lawyer actually fired her. Her lawyer got tired of her games. She kept thinking that as her lawyer bills piled up that I would have to pay for it. In the end, she had to pay her own. Her moves fucked both of us.
Hmmm, well, that’s good. My experience was 180 degrees opposite when I went through the estate battle.
Never, you shouldn't have too...The same applies for her looking at or through your phone. Being Honest is best. Because if she stops talking on that phone immediately when you walk into the room. But when you ask her about it, her reaction doesn't add up, acts nervous, but she hurries up and turns off the phone /trying to hide the conversation and with whom from you...somethings up. Bottom line, If you are starting to have some doubts about her fidelity towards you then confront her and ask her to explain her suspicious (to you) conduct. Since it's not your first rodeo, you have seen it before and those red flags are up for you. Just ask for her to be honest with you. Don't make it worse... Either she's with you or she's not! YOUR CALL.
Yeah I agree get your valuables out, also go talk to a lawyer before you do anything, mine was so crazy I actually had to put a ankle monitoring device on myself so I can keep track of where I was at, and take that to court. If you really curious hire a private investigator and have her followed and watched. That way if you need to take him to court you can do so on your behalf. Yeah I got the crazy one basically lost everything, any questions let me know glad to give you a few pointers. Take care man
Lol okay chief. So what do you do to learn her a lesson? Stone her ? beat her? And what of the guy? Do you bash his puke face in because you have done concrete work for 20 years and bench press 275?
I don't understand the logic
some sound advice here i went through one her fault almost 2 my fault. for gods sake get your stuff out before you even start to check her phone and risk her thinking you know. if its true move out without her knowing now in this day and age women have this thing called a pfa they use it like a gun. they lie to get them and the next thing you know your out and your guns are gone. if you violate it you go to jail and do not pass go and they can lie about that also. depending what state you live in has a lot to do as to how things are going to play out. use your head and not your emotions no women on this earth are worth going to jail for if she is cheating fuck her but make sure you are doing the fucking. you can always find better.
I will take this to one more level. Assuming you do have someone you can really trust, move a safe into their house, start getting your hands on as much cash as humanely possibly and hoarding it in there.
Then when someone says, where is all that cash we have bank records of you making withdrawls
Say that the stress of her whoring around caused you to develop a gambling problem
and you lost it all...
And go to jail like a dumbass. Better to play SMART. "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
\"La vengeance est un plat qui se mange froide" from Pierre Choderlos de Laclos's epistolary novel Les Liaisons Dangereuses, 1782
Remember two things about divorce:
1. Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.
2. Divorce is the fucking you get for the fucking you got.
1. Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.
2. Divorce is the fucking you get for the fucking you got.
Having peace is priceless... I went thru a nasty divorce but I’m clean on the other side... if your thinking of checking her phone your gut is checking up with u ... good luck brother I wish u the best!
Hire a female attorney. I heard this from my probate lawyer when I asked him for my son.
The husband should always get a female attorney.
Hire a private detective, try to get her in a "compromising position".
You already have experience getting fucked in the divorce arena, so you know what's coming.
If you feel an absolute necessity to get married, I highly recommend that you get a Filipina. A real one, not an Americanized one. At least they can cook and clean house.
The husband should always get a female attorney.
Hire a private detective, try to get her in a "compromising position".
You already have experience getting fucked in the divorce arena, so you know what's coming.
If you feel an absolute necessity to get married, I highly recommend that you get a Filipina. A real one, not an Americanized one. At least they can cook and clean house.
Damn, this is a tough subject to address because it can really fuck with your head...
We had been taught a lie since grade school. "Don't judge a book by it's cover", they would always say. However, the truth is, judging books by their covers is an innate survival mechanism that has served mankind well in times of danger and uncertainty. There are certain signs when something may be fucked up that our conscious minds do not pick up, but our instincts are fully aware of.
Simply put it, if you ever get a wrong feeling about something, most likely something is wrong to begin with. I have been through this shit. And it has contributed to a major bout of alcohol consumption during that part of my life. As much as I always talk about how a man should not be vulnerable, this kind of nonsense rips a man's heart right out and makes him feel as open to the elements as a fish on dry land. Do any necessary investigations as you feel may need, and try to go through this in the most firm and stable emotional state as you can be in. Best wishes and luck be with you, man.
We had been taught a lie since grade school. "Don't judge a book by it's cover", they would always say. However, the truth is, judging books by their covers is an innate survival mechanism that has served mankind well in times of danger and uncertainty. There are certain signs when something may be fucked up that our conscious minds do not pick up, but our instincts are fully aware of.
Simply put it, if you ever get a wrong feeling about something, most likely something is wrong to begin with. I have been through this shit. And it has contributed to a major bout of alcohol consumption during that part of my life. As much as I always talk about how a man should not be vulnerable, this kind of nonsense rips a man's heart right out and makes him feel as open to the elements as a fish on dry land. Do any necessary investigations as you feel may need, and try to go through this in the most firm and stable emotional state as you can be in. Best wishes and luck be with you, man.
Let me see.... You get hit by a train and you decided to go for another walk down the railroad tracks. Then BLAM!!! You get hit by another train. You recover after spending a lifetimes worth of savings on lawyers and living through God only knows what kind of mental anguish and take another stroll down the railroad tracks? AND now you think that you may possibly hear another train?
Good Lord son. Ya ain't none too bright, is ya? Bless your heart.
Good Lord son. Ya ain't none too bright, is ya? Bless your heart.
never ever look through their stuff. just leave. if it comes to that, you just fucking walk.
You do not have to actually look at her phone. Go online to your provider, find where details of billing are and look at her text msg phone numbers. IT should list who she is texting. If there are a ton to an unknown number, especially during her work hours when she can't get caught, then begin to prepare covertly. Money, guns, and your keepsakes get taken to a remote location first thing.
You pick the time and choosing.
You pick the time and choosing.
wilson 1911 has good advice as i said move your stuff out covertly and dont get caught, as far as hiring a pi i guess it depends what state you live in. i live in pa its not a good state to go through a divorce in. when she goes to domestic relations which its called in my state they go by a formula. they look at how much you make and how much she makes no matter what the parties have done and thats it. you will pay at least 2 yr support. you need to check these things. i really hope you dont have any children with her its the worst thing kids can go through my prayers are with you best of luck.
And for heavens sake, stop getting married.
I have a buddy, greatest guy you’d ever meet. But he does not have the ability to realize he can actually kiss a girl without marrying her. And women have abused the hell out of him through the years. I told him the same thing.....STOP GETTING MARRIED.
You date a girl, and decide it’s over...no worries. No government involvement. But you fucked up and married her? Yup, the government sticks their nose right up your ass.
Best of luck to you.
I have a buddy, greatest guy you’d ever meet. But he does not have the ability to realize he can actually kiss a girl without marrying her. And women have abused the hell out of him through the years. I told him the same thing.....STOP GETTING MARRIED.
You date a girl, and decide it’s over...no worries. No government involvement. But you fucked up and married her? Yup, the government sticks their nose right up your ass.
Best of luck to you.
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