Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
- Start date
An Irish daughter had not been home for over three years.
Upon her return home, her father yelled at her, "Where have ye been all this time?
Why did ye not write to us? Not even a line! Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer ol' mother thru?"
The girl, crying, replied, sniff....sniff.... "Dad, I was too embarrassed for I became a prostitute."
Ye what?!! Out of here, ye shameless hussy! Sinner! Ye're a disgrace to this Catholic family, so ye are."
"OK Daddy, as ye wish... I just came back to give Mommy this luxurious fur coat, a cheque for 2 million pounds and the title deed to an eight bedroom mansion.
For me little brother Shamus, this solid gold Rolex.
And for ye, Daddy, the sparkling new limited edition convertible Mercedes parked out front plus a life membership to the Limerick Country Club."
She takes a deep breath and continues, "And an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board me new yacht in the Caribbean."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" her father asked.
The girl, crying again, said, sniff...sniff... "A prostitute Daddy." sniff...sniff.
"Oh! Me goodness! Ye scared me half to death girl! I thought ye said ye had become a PROTESTANT! Come here and give yer ol' Dad a big hug
Upon her return home, her father yelled at her, "Where have ye been all this time?
Why did ye not write to us? Not even a line! Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer ol' mother thru?"
The girl, crying, replied, sniff....sniff.... "Dad, I was too embarrassed for I became a prostitute."
Ye what?!! Out of here, ye shameless hussy! Sinner! Ye're a disgrace to this Catholic family, so ye are."
"OK Daddy, as ye wish... I just came back to give Mommy this luxurious fur coat, a cheque for 2 million pounds and the title deed to an eight bedroom mansion.
For me little brother Shamus, this solid gold Rolex.
And for ye, Daddy, the sparkling new limited edition convertible Mercedes parked out front plus a life membership to the Limerick Country Club."
She takes a deep breath and continues, "And an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board me new yacht in the Caribbean."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" her father asked.
The girl, crying again, said, sniff...sniff... "A prostitute Daddy." sniff...sniff.
"Oh! Me goodness! Ye scared me half to death girl! I thought ye said ye had become a PROTESTANT! Come here and give yer ol' Dad a big hug
Your on a roll ! Now I have to try to get a few hours sleep, and I'm just going to be thinking of Iron Mike. I'm amphibious !
So much for sleep.
Mike
Glad ya liked them and hope they made ya giggle a bit. I thought they were too good to pass up. Fricking Hilarious.
Don't drunk Mom, don't. We're just not as nimble as we use to be. Apparently.
^^^ You know they later ate the kitten, right?
I can appreciate a couple young boys, and no not like @Dirty D , out working for their Dinner. Nice catch Boys.
Opposing thumbs up.
Two young (oriental) boys and a kitten ?........Slow day at the Hilton I see
(Anything we should be worried about ?)
Two young (oriental) boys and a kitten ?........Slow day at the Hilton I see
It's my Friday. The entire week has been mega fucked. I'm enjoying the sights n sounds of incarceration and laughing my fucking ass off. We have more people coming off Heroin AGAIN than you can shake a stick at. I'm in my element. Don't fuck with me.
I can appreciate a couple young boys, and no not like @Dirty D , out working for their Dinner. Nice catch Boys.
Horny little bastards already out catching pussy, well done!
It's my Friday. The entire week has been mega fucked. I'm enjoying the sights n sounds of incarceration and laughing my fucking ass off. We have more people coming off Heroin AGAIN than you can shake a stick at. I'm in my element. Don't fuck with me.
Just a flashback... or is it flashover? My nozzle-buddies will know for sure.
As for the skag addicts.... suggest that you fill their beds with Frosted Flakes. It helps them sleep. Because the crunchy is always comfortable in a mattress....
Cheers,
Sirhr
A Navy pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his new Apple watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art Apple watch, and I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
The pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”
Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”
The pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, “Darn thing’s an hour fast.”
And that, my friends.........is Confidence!
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his new Apple watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art Apple watch, and I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
The pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”
Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”
The pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, “Darn thing’s an hour fast.”
And that, my friends.........is Confidence!
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