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Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor

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My exwife's claim to fame is that she once met John Lennon on a train when she was very young.

"John," She said. "Can you imagine all the people sharing all the world?"

He thought about it for a minute, then shook her hand.

"Thank you," he said, "one day I might just write a song about this moment."

And he did, the rarely heard album track "Some Random Cunt I Met On A Train One Day".
 
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles".



"She did" he replied. "But where the hell was I going to find a fake Jeep?"
 
They were peanut butter cookies with chocolate stars in the middle. A favorite when I was a kid, my folks brought them when they visited.
They brought my mom’s amazing fudge too. I will have some of that tomorrow.

Im not a huge sweets eater, so a couple a day is a lot.

To quote one of my favorite ER docs “I save my empty calories for alcohol!”