Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
- Start date
Two buddies, Joe and Moe go out to hunt feral hogs. They decide to split up and try to drive the hogs toward each other. When they meet up, Moe is skinning a big porker.
"Nice hog, Moe, but I didn't hear you shoot."
"I uglied it to death."
"You're pulling my leg. I don't believe you. Now how did you kill that razorback?"
"I told you I uglied it to death. If you don't believe me help me finish, then follow along and I'll show you."
Moe and Joe start stalking a group of tuskers and get eventually close enough. Moe lets out a little snort to catch the eye of the biggest, meanest, ugliest one. He screwed up his face into the nastiest contortions imaginable and sure enough, the hog gets wide-eyed, starts to quiver, then spasm, and finally rolls over dead.
"If I hadn't seen it I'd never have believed it, Joe gasped. Where did you ever learn that?"
"From my wife, replied Moe."
"So why don't you take her hunting? You could get twice the hogs in half the time."
"I used to, but she tears up the meat too bad."
"Nice hog, Moe, but I didn't hear you shoot."
"I uglied it to death."
"You're pulling my leg. I don't believe you. Now how did you kill that razorback?"
"I told you I uglied it to death. If you don't believe me help me finish, then follow along and I'll show you."
Moe and Joe start stalking a group of tuskers and get eventually close enough. Moe lets out a little snort to catch the eye of the biggest, meanest, ugliest one. He screwed up his face into the nastiest contortions imaginable and sure enough, the hog gets wide-eyed, starts to quiver, then spasm, and finally rolls over dead.
"If I hadn't seen it I'd never have believed it, Joe gasped. Where did you ever learn that?"
"From my wife, replied Moe."
"So why don't you take her hunting? You could get twice the hogs in half the time."
"I used to, but she tears up the meat too bad."
Some of the best from the Scout site... these have to be preserved...
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'
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Ok... Let's!!!!
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Sorry AJ... but this was too funny not to save.... You know that the CBS execs are fapping to it...
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you my friend, may have won a totally unacceptable award for that one...
after i regained conciousness, i threw up a little...
They sell these in the Online Penn State Alumni store!!!! It's where I got the image. Really!
So Johnny wakes up one night and sees Dad pounding the hell out of mom. Next day he asks his Dad. Dad explains it's normal, laughs a bit and tousles johnny's head.
Next day dad comes into the house and hears granny just going off like she is having the time of her life. He walks over, and sees Johnny pounding the fuck out of granny.
Johnny! What the hell you doing boy!
HA! Not so funny when it's YOUR MOM, is it!
Next day dad comes into the house and hears granny just going off like she is having the time of her life. He walks over, and sees Johnny pounding the fuck out of granny.
Johnny! What the hell you doing boy!
HA! Not so funny when it's YOUR MOM, is it!
True story . One of the guys in work was talkin about cheap tires on Amazon knowing that I needed tires for my Nissan . So that night I was surfin looking for tires and figured I'd call around to check prices . Called a local mom and pop tire place that my dad bought tires from and here the original owners wife was still alive and answered the phone . Being the asshole that I am I couldn't help myself . I told her that a friend had purchased some off brand Japanese tires and asked if the carry them . I asked do you carry Bukakae . Next thing I now I can here her asking quite loudly on the other end of the phone " do we have Bukakae , have you ever heard of Bukakae . I lotst heart and hung up all the while pissin myself laughing . And yet in the age of caller ID I didn't get a call back . Hummpf .
So is it me or... if you spray painted a garden gnome white, would it turn into a little "Garden Grand Wizard of the Klavern???"
Cheers,
Sirhr
I don't have a tag line, so I'll just say "Illinois Nazi's... I hate Illinois Nazi's... "
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Shakira's got some moves that I wasn't aware of...
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I don't tell Mexican or black jokes, because when you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal
Cheers,
Sirhr
What with no tag line yet, I'll just say "License and registration, chicken***ker! Bucackook!"
Cheers,
Sirhr
What with no tag line yet, I'll just say "License and registration, chicken***ker! Bucackook!"
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