Maggie’s The Frog....

fx77

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
  • Nov 29, 2005
    1,850
    1,715
    ny state
    A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs.

    The sign reads:
    SEX FROGS
    Only $20 each!
    Comes with COMPLETE instructions.

    The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll take one!'

    As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!'

    The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

    As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully She does EXACTLY what is specified:

    1. Take a shower.
    2. Splash on some nice perfume.
    3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
    4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

    She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise, NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store."

    So, she calls the pet store. The man says, "I'll be right over." Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!"

    The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says:

    "LISTEN TO ME!!
    I'm only going to show you how to do this
    ONE MORE TIME..."

    _____________________________________
     
    Re: The Frog....

    A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed.

    "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked.

    "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend.

    And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.

    Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.

    "Go and get help!" he cried.

    "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!"

    "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."

    Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"

    The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."
     
    Re: The Frog....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Radar86</div><div class="ubbcode-body">A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed.

    "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked.

    "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend.

    And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.

    Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.

    "Go and get help!" he cried.

    "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!"

    "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."

    Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"

    The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far." </div></div>


    This made my day.
     
    Re: The Frog....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Shatuponthee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I think when I retire I am going to open a pet store. </div></div>


    Me too