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Maggie’s The most interesting sniper in the world...
- Thread starter Garvey
- Start date
He is so virile he can impregnate a woman with a single lustful stare -- but he's only looked at a woman like that once; nine months before Chuck Norris was born.
His Savage shoots half MOA all day long...even when he doesn't do his part
The rifle doesn't recoil into him...he recoils into the rifle
He was KIA 20 yrs ago...death just doesn't have the courage to tell him yet
His counter sniper works better than your S&B
He is .. the most interesting sniper in the world.
"Keep shooting my friends"
(good one)
The rifle doesn't recoil into him...he recoils into the rifle
He was KIA 20 yrs ago...death just doesn't have the courage to tell him yet
His counter sniper works better than your S&B
He is .. the most interesting sniper in the world.
"Keep shooting my friends"
(good one)
Once stopped an entire battalion of T-80 main battle tanks with a Chipmunk .22.
When he goes scuba diving, great white sharks watch him from inside cages.
Cheers,
Sirhr
When he goes scuba diving, great white sharks watch him from inside cages.
Cheers,
Sirhr
He once sneezed while engaging a target, target drowned before the bullet hit him.
No matter what he says or does Jesse Ventura will not sue him
No matter what he says or does Jesse Ventura will not sue him
He doesn't adjust for Coriolis effect at any range --out of respect, the Earth stops moving long enough for him to take his shot.
He uses .308 ammo instead of Q-tips to clean his ears...His ear wax coated bullets create BC numbers over 1.0 and never need wind holds.
He fluted the first barrel ever, with his fingernails.
He does not use a suppressor, rifles refuse to speak above a whisper in is presence.
The first silicone cloths were made after samples of his ball sweat was collected and genetically cloned.
When he was just a small boy he ate a 7.62X51, the next day he shit out a .338 Lapua Mag and 3, 6.5 creedmors
He does not have to adjust for angle of fire solutions, his targets move to a more convenient place to die.
He does not use copper solvent... he just add a drop or two of his urine.
He does not use a suppressor, rifles refuse to speak above a whisper in is presence.
The first silicone cloths were made after samples of his ball sweat was collected and genetically cloned.
When he was just a small boy he ate a 7.62X51, the next day he shit out a .338 Lapua Mag and 3, 6.5 creedmors
He does not have to adjust for angle of fire solutions, his targets move to a more convenient place to die.
He does not use copper solvent... he just add a drop or two of his urine.
His night vision is so good that he can see 1000m clear as day with his eyes closed and blindfolded.
Chuck Norris bought his jock strap for $1 million at a charity auction just so he could smell it.
Chuck Norris bought his jock strap for $1 million at a charity auction just so he could smell it.
Crying babies become silent in his presence.
He holds 27 patents for nailing Jello to a wall.
He can herd cats.
He can disguise himself as a midget, even though he is 6'4".
He water jet cut an AR-500 Torso target by urinating on steel plate.
Cheers,
Sirhr
He holds 27 patents for nailing Jello to a wall.
He can herd cats.
He can disguise himself as a midget, even though he is 6'4".
He water jet cut an AR-500 Torso target by urinating on steel plate.
Cheers,
Sirhr
Only HE can make a CounterSniper Scope track correctly and hold zero !
Red Jacket Firearms get all their insider build info from him , truely a gamechanger by itself
Red Jacket Firearms get all their insider build info from him , truely a gamechanger by itself
His ability to use existing cover is so effective,
on one mission, his own shadow couldn't find him for 3 weeks.
on one mission, his own shadow couldn't find him for 3 weeks.
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Has a bubble level built into his cornea.
Has shot the wings off a gnat at 40 paces... using a Raven P25.
Cheers,
Sirhr
Has shot the wings off a gnat at 40 paces... using a Raven P25.
Cheers,
Sirhr
He only deals with a bullet's Ballistic Efficient.
His Kestrel monitors sperm count.
He can cut a hot knife with butter.
His Kestrel monitors sperm count.
He can cut a hot knife with butter.
He did Hell Week... on vacation.
He corrected a gun store clerk, and was thanked for his trouble.
Santa had to get an FFL and Class 3 in order to leave him presents.
He said, "Seriously? There's an ammo shortage?"
The movie Red Dawn was based on his "what I did during the summer' presentation in 7th Grade.
He's what every Honey Badger wants to be like when they grow up.
He's never posted on a gun forum.
He corrected a gun store clerk, and was thanked for his trouble.
Santa had to get an FFL and Class 3 in order to leave him presents.
He said, "Seriously? There's an ammo shortage?"
The movie Red Dawn was based on his "what I did during the summer' presentation in 7th Grade.
He's what every Honey Badger wants to be like when they grow up.
He's never posted on a gun forum.
When he needs a new barrel, he takes a healthy shit, and then pisses through the middle of it lengthwise----the new barrel is optimized for spin on whatever bullet he chooses while he pisses.
It matters not if the barrel is short, each bullet is powered farther and faster by his farts.
It matters not if the barrel is short, each bullet is powered farther and faster by his farts.
couple more:
never quotes himself in forums
does his part infinity +1
his ghillie - versace
falcon punches anyone using the term zombie in any other context other than a '60's band.
speaks fluent klingon just in case of deployment
his spit is used for testosterone treatments and sweats cosmoline upon request, other wise doesn't sweat at all
neutralizes threats to his six in the back of the head by taking the shot in front of him
he created daylight saving time so you have an extra hour to get your affairs in order.
uses sasquatch femurs for shooting sticks
was asked nicely to stop skeet shooting - knocked out too many satellites
would be allowed to sell something under 100 posts.
his spotter's name is Hubble.
his sperm is in the shape of BTHPs.
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On one shot one kill:
If your one shot kills less than 20 enemies you're doing something wrong.
On calibers:
I don't care what caliber you use but if I'm under 2000m I use a .22 long rifle
On camouflage:
I don't wear camouflage, my surroundings change to match what I'm wearing.
General:
Bullets refuse to miss when he shoots them out of respect for him
He snipes VIP targets while having sex with their wives
If he runs out of ammo, he throws small rocks at 3000fps
He sometimes snipes targets past 1000m while cliff diving just to add some challenge
If in a combat zone, he only carries a musket to be fair to the enemy
--Wintermute
If your one shot kills less than 20 enemies you're doing something wrong.
On calibers:
I don't care what caliber you use but if I'm under 2000m I use a .22 long rifle
On camouflage:
I don't wear camouflage, my surroundings change to match what I'm wearing.
General:
Bullets refuse to miss when he shoots them out of respect for him
He snipes VIP targets while having sex with their wives
If he runs out of ammo, he throws small rocks at 3000fps
He sometimes snipes targets past 1000m while cliff diving just to add some challenge
If in a combat zone, he only carries a musket to be fair to the enemy
--Wintermute
He is so tough that after an especially close shave, he uses Sweet's 7.62 as an aftershave. And likes it.
He dual wields Barrett .50's and shoots both eyes open to engage multiple targets beyond 1000m.
His spotter is always an attractive female for calling the wind. And by calling the wind I mean performing oral sex.
He is capable of pistol whipping at 100m.
He always does his part.
His spotter is always an attractive female for calling the wind. And by calling the wind I mean performing oral sex.
He is capable of pistol whipping at 100m.
He always does his part.
When he does his part, there are no survivors.
Women become Born Again Virgins, so they can have the pleasure of losing it to him for a second time.
He once shot a comet out of space, the holdover was from Jupiter to Uranus.
He thinks the best time to get a suntan is during a artillery strike, of his own design.
Women become Born Again Virgins, so they can have the pleasure of losing it to him for a second time.
He once shot a comet out of space, the holdover was from Jupiter to Uranus.
He thinks the best time to get a suntan is during a artillery strike, of his own design.
He is invisible in the open, he is lost in the army, his calling card is the fatal bullet.
(from the book "Gallipoli Sniper"")
(from the book "Gallipoli Sniper"")
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